


After Stockholm

by The_Unqualified1



Series: Stockholm [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Before the Shit Starts, F/F, Forced Abdication, Is Byleth Going Crazy? Or Is She Being Stabbed?, Let’s Get Ready To Rumble, Personal Demons, Recovery, Some Fluff, Trauma and Drama, Trust and It’s Many Issues, Unexpected Allies, Unexpected Enemies, Who’s Going To Say I Love You?, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:14:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 115,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Unqualified1/pseuds/The_Unqualified1
Summary: Following Byleth’s imprisonment Edelgard has severed ties with TWSITD, and half the treacherous foes have perished. With their bodies healing from what they’ve endured and their true feelings on display, what comes next for the two of them?What happens when the church propositions Byleth? What happens when Edelgard’s title is challenged? What happens when what they want actively conflicts with their attachment to each other? And what are they willing to sacrifice to protect the bond they’ve created?Direct Sequel to Stockholm Syndrome.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Series: Stockholm [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657924
Comments: 331
Kudos: 357





	1. Demon Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ya’ll how we doing?! I did not plan to be back so soon, but the world is changing every day and I happened upon some free time...
> 
> So I thought a lot about where our girls would go from here. I’ll be blunt, I think the stories gonna be freaking awesome, got lots planned, but it’s gonna start slower. We started from such a high tension point in the last arc that I thought it’d be hard to top it so I didn’t try. Instead I started from the next natural point that felt right to tell. The last stories what-if had far more physical and life threatening implications, while this arc is really high emotional stakes and seeing if their love for each other can survive distractions and circumstance as Byleth called it, of which there are many many to come.
> 
> I’ll try and stop there and just say welcome back :)

**Part 1 - After Stockholm**

Edelgard sat in her infirmary cot and breathed in and out slowly. She focused on how it felt as her fragmented ribs shifting slightly with the air filling her lungs. Better than it had been for sure. She exhaled slowly and repeated. She’d breathe in, hold it in her chest, and count down from 10. A trick someone in the room had taught her not too long ago. She looked to the cot at her side and the messy navy hair of the woman in question. _Byleth_ …

She’d been sleeping much since they’d arrived back at the monastery. _A small side-effect of being mostly dead._ Manuela had told her. She wasn’t sure if that was supposed to reassure any, but it decidedly didn’t.

So much had happened… Byleth had been taken from them 3 months ago by the shadowed fiends Edelgard had been planning to start a war with. She went as her alter ego, the Flame Emperor, to try and reason with them. When that had failed, she betrayed the villains and took drastic and damnable measures in an attempt to free her dear professor, who had become so much more to her during that time. By an insane set of circumstance and sheer luck they’d survived, and been saved by their housemates. Now here they were, recovering from a series of life-threatening injuries. A little slow for her taste.

 _Patience._ Byleth had chided when she’d expressed her unease.

_Deadly wounds don’t heal too fast. They usually don’t heal at all._

Edelgard had chuckled, and regretted it immediately. Laughter was like a burst of pins to her healing chest. Byleth had given her an apathetic smile after. _That wasn’t supposed to be funny._

That almost got her going again, but she managed to stifle it. Byleth had been making her laugh easier and easier these days.

It wasn’t all bad. Edelgard had been cleared to stand on her own, and was allowed to leave the infirmary when accompanied by Manuela for short strolls. She’d become rather fond of the physician in the few days they’d been here. She’d chat idly about gossip or lectures and took to filling her in on all the happenings since she’d been gone. They’d added two months to the calendar year in their absence. There had been an attack at the monastery from several crest beasts, no casualties luckily, but many repairs to do.

She assumed someone in the shadows had gotten impatient for them to use crest beasts so loosely. Perhaps they had gone after the Holy Mausoleum… She shook her head of it. Those were no longer her worries.

“There was also… some political losses to think of.” She glanced at her briefly with an understanding look as she said it. Edelgard assumed she meant herself going missing. _They must’ve buried me…_

“With the loss of an Emperor the school felt it necessary to give the students from your house and others time to grieve, and to show their respects.” She wondered if they’d already hosted a ceremony in name of her death. The idea would’ve made her laugh if she hadn’t known better. The nobles had most-likely demanded whereabouts or an explanation, and when Hubert was unable to produce her, declared her deceased. She imagined the looks on their faces when she’d return to the castle. That reminded her.

“Would I be able to send a letter to my vassal in the Empire? I’m sure there is much for him to catch me up on.”

“Hubert? Of course, that can be arranged. We should be heading back soon anyway, don’t think I didn’t notice your wince 6 steps ago.” She really was a fine physician. Edelgard smiled and a thought came to her.

“Also… while I’m recovering, do you think you could teach me a bit of healing magic?”

************************************************

Byleth stirred in her bed and her eyes tried miserably to adjust to the light. After her initial awakening and Sothis’ power fading her condition had worsened. Her eyes returned to their scarred and dotted vision, her body protesting in more and more discomfort, but Manuela had been a godsend. She had spent the majority of magic trying the heal her fractured feet and her charred wound from the lightning bolt.

“Once we can get you up and moving your body will be able to help you heal, so getting the feet fixed first is priority. That and this.” She pointed to the charred skin that was still healing black and red along her hip. “Any time something enters and exits your body this quickly, it should be taken care of.” A crass wink. The joke would have been lost on her if not for the way it had turned Edelgard’s cheeks bright pink.

 _Edelgard._ Byleth turned to look at her half of the room to find it empty. Her and Manuela probably on one of their walks. She was happy to see them go, happy it meant El was getting better, but definitely a little jealous. She hated being confined to the bed. It made her feel incredibly weak. As if she’d escaped one form of captivity for another. She felt her hands tightening into knots in the sheets. _No, no, that’s not what this is. Just relax._

“Byleth?”

She turned to the doorway and saw Manuela and Edelgard coming in. She felt the tension in her body lifting almost immediately and let out a deep breath, before releasing the sheets and putting on a small smile. Manuela came over to the bed and rested her palm on her forehead, gauging her temperature. Edelgard fetched some water from the pitcher and joined the two of them.

“Well your fever is lower, but not quite where we’d like it. Whatever you had in you was some pretty nasty stuff. Still, we’ve made significant progress.” Byleth nodded. She remembered the first day where she’d been unable to keep any food down, was sweating through sheets, and being racked with shivers. This was already far better. She accepted the glass from Edelgard and drank it gladly.

“How are you feeling otherwise? Any other symptoms I should know about?” She shook her head casually to indicate fine, but Edelgard squinted those ever perceptive eyes, quietly assessing if she believed her. She didn’t press in front of Manuela, instead merely pulling the chair over so she could sit at her bedside.

“Well look at that, it’s nearly lunch. Perhaps I can convince the wait staff to get three trays so I can eat with you both before heading to my lectures.” She rose to leave. “I’ll be right back you two.” Byleth thought she sounded a little suggestive, but that could just be how Manuela always sounded.

“How’re you feeling, really?” Edelgard asked once they were alone. Byleth shrugged, but knew that was not answer enough for the young Emperor.

“Nervous I guess…” She stared at the end of her bed intently. “Tense… like…” She shook her head unsure how to respond, and embarrassed to admit any kind of weakness. But she hadn’t felt strong in some time. Protective insanity was the only quality that had gotten them out of that awful place. Not strength.

“Like something bad will happen any second. Even though it hasn’t…”

Edelgard reached up and took her hand softly in her own. Byleth returned the pressure, happy to have something to anchor to. Something real.

“You feel like you’re back there, right…?” She said it softly, not really as a question, more like she could read her like a book. She nodded, still staring ahead.

“I feel… the tension of that place. Hear things… smell the damp space… like it’s inside of me.” Byleth hadn’t tried to put words to her experience but now that she was they felt like spiders crawling all over her body.

“That feeling is very common… after coming out of captivity.” She said, familiar pain edging on her words. Byleth turned and saw the window she was leaving unguarded. The reliving of a past pain through a pane Byleth could relate. She had been healing a lot, but it was almost easy to forget Edelgard needed to heal too.

As Manuela fiddled with the door handle and reentered the room with three trays of food Byleth retracted her hand from Edelgard’s and they shared a secret smile. Edelgard clearing her throat.

“So did she tell you what was really bothering her?” Manuela called out.

“Yes, it’s as we discussed, she’s stir crazy.” Edelgard called back. Byleth raised an eyebrow feigning incredulousness, but Edelgard merely smiled at their little ploy.

Manuela came over with a tray in each hand, laying them both on the bed.

“Makes sense, especially knowing our Byleth.” She retrieved a chair to sit and her own tray. Fish sandwiches by the look.

“Well perhaps we should show her what we’ve been working on?” Manuela said thoughtfully with a wink at Byleth. Edelgard smiled.

“Yes, let's. I think that will lift her spirits. After she eats of course.” Byleth choked down her food, curious what the two clever minds had in store for her.

************************************************

What they’d constructed were essentially two large, padded boots, but with a metal exoskeleton and straps that locked across the front, going up about mid calf. It was meant to take the pressure from her already bruised and recovering bones and brace her from any damaging action. The crooked, goofy smile on Byleth’s face when they helped her into them for the first time was a sight Edelgard didn’t think she’d ever forget. It was so sincerely sweet. When they got her on her feet she winced slightly and they each held one of her hands and helped her do a lap around the room. Her steps were awkward and her pace unnatural but she was moving again, and Edelgard knew what that meant to her. That smile never leaving her lips. After they did three laps around the room Manuela brought her back to the bed and insisted on her relaxing.

“I really must go, and I know if I leave them on you you’ll both overdo it, so off missy.” Byleth had to relent, and they removed the boots and braces then helped her back into bed.

“Tomorrow, if we can get your fever down, you can start having guests. Two at a time, I don’t want them overwhelming you. They’ve been asking non-stop, to the point I’ve had to ban them from this floor unless they had direct business with the Archbishop.” She went over to her desk and pulled out a stack of various papers. Easily 20 or so, some crumpled or folded, some yellow or white or lined or parchment. All with inks of various colors scribbled on them. She set them down on the corner of Byleth’s bed.

“To give you something to do til then, here are some of the notes they’ve been leaving for you two in my classroom.” Another wink from Manuela and she was gone. A sweeter kind of smile broke across Byleth’s lips... purely innocent and authentic... it made Edelgard’s heart swell. She’d take a lance any day to see her smile like that. But Byleth merely stared at the stack instead of reaching for them.

“What is it, my teacher?” Edelgard asked softly.

“I… I can’t really read with my eyes…” She waived her hand in front of her eyes to make her point, the smile receding slightly. She turned to Edelgard with a bit of hope. “Would you…” She looked a little guilty asking her next question. “Would you… read them to me?”

Edelgard smiled gently and nodded, gathering the stack closer. She looked at the seat she’d been in, but felt daring. Instead she gestured for Byleth to scoot, which she did happily, making space for Edelgard to sit with her in the cot barely made for one. Their legs overlapped and Byleth wrapped an arm around her shoulder to keep her in place. Edelgard felt a light blush returning, which she hoped was hidden in light of Byleth’s damaged vision. She held the notes up where Byleth could see.

“Alright well this first one is from Caspar. It would appear he wrote in all capitals.” Byleth breathed a small laugh and leaned in to look closer. Edelgard could smell the soap on her skin.

“He says, HEY PROFESSOR!” She does her best Caspar impression and Byleth openly laughs, covering her mouth with the back of her hand, keeping the other one tightly on Edelgard’s shoulder. She smiled at gaining that reaction from her teacher. She liked making her laugh.

“He says that he has been working on hand to hand and passed his Grappler exam. He was really excited for that day, and wished you could’ve been there…” Her voice trailed off and she felt Byleth sigh softly against her ear, it jolted her system, giving her a fresh blush on her cheeks.

“But he’s excited you and I are back and hoping we’ll help him focus on axe skills and the War Master lessons next. He thinks it has the most ‘badass name’ and the ‘coolest armor.’ Oh he even drew a picture here in the corner of himself as a War Master.” It looked like a circle with sticks for legs and a blocky body, presumably armor, with identifiable gauntlets on the wrists and Caspar’s classic spiky hair. It was exclaiming ‘HIYA’ in a very Caspar way. Byleth leaned closer to get a look at it, the same soft smile on her lips. Her hair grazed Edelgard’s cheek, bringing her blush about once more. _This woman really will be the death of me._

She handed the note to Byleth and pulled another from the stack. She seemed to admire their handwriting and general essence as much as the actual words.

Petra’s note had a handful of shed scales from her Wyvern folded in it. She had named her steed Sigurd, from a Brigid myth about a warrior king who struck down dark gods to save the homeland.

“We’ll have to ask Petra to tell us that story.” Byleth thought out loud as she rolled one of the scales between her fingers.

“Have you ever ridden a Wyvern, Professor?” Edelgard asked. Byleth shook her head.

“Only the few times I was on watch. Almost got bucked off the thing every time. Those beasts are strong, and they do not like being ridden. Sounds like Petra has mastered it far better than I could hope to.” Byleth’s expression was so earnest, clearly proud of her students accomplishment.

Dorothea had written her a double-sided piece of paper trying to catch her up on all the things she had missed. They found a second sheet with the same curly handwriting. Byleth laughed and said she’d never turned in a paper this long in her academic life. They both laughed at that, Edelgard clutching her injured ribs. _Worth it._ She thought, smiling in their shared laughter.

Bernadetta had ripped off the corner of a piece of paper and written merely in aggressive chicken scratch. ‘IM GLAD YOU’RE BOTH BACK’ with all the letters running into each other. It took them a moment to decipher what she’d been trying to say, but Byleth smiled and held that one the longest.

Ferdinand’s letter was a very formal affair that got more personal near the end and welcomed back Edelgard and Byleth with gusto. Linhardt’s was a torn page from a book with ‘ _Let’s chat when you’re not dead._ ’ Scrawled over top it. And they came to find many from the other houses as well.

Annette and Mercedes had written out a list of sweets they could prepare with checkboxes next to it for them to select. Byleth deferred to Edelgard’s judgement and she checked two that she thought Byleth might enjoy. She herself liked all sweets, so she wasn’t picky with her selection. Marianne wrote a little devotional prayer that she’d been saying for the two of them. Raphael’s note asked enthusiastically if they’d been eating enough and offered to bring them dishes from the dining hall any time. Ashe’s letter was quite sweet as expected, Hilda wrote one to both of their surprises, Ignatz had drawn a sketch of the view from the other side of the building that was blocked from them. Edelgard quickly rose and pinned it to the wall opposite from the window, giving them another vantage she called it, before burying back into their shared position. Byleth was quick to receive her back and rewrap her arm around her shoulder.

Dimitri had written two notes, one to Edelgard and one to Byleth.

“You don’t have to read me your letters if you don’t want.” Byleth had assured her, but Edelgard merely shook her head.

“I don’t intend to keep anything else from you my teacher…” Edelgard reached up to take the hand that hung off her shoulder in her own. She felt her heartbeat speed up, and saw Byleth’s cobalt grey gaze carry that unmistakeable spark. She hummed softly and leaned a little closer until their foreheads touched. There was still so much they hadn’t said to each other, so much they had to figure out... but those blue hues always tugged her heart in an unfair way.

“Byleth…”

Then the door clicked open and Seteth was standing in the entryway.

************************************************

Seteth blinked at the position the two of them were in, stacked onto one of the small cots with their arms over each other. Byleth felt the scream of protest in his mind from across the room but made no move to release Edelgard. That seemed like it would make her look more guilty, and she didn’t feel guilty.

Instead she offered a sincere smile, and thought that in spite of them always having a strained relationship, she was happy to see another familiar face.

“Seteth… good to see you.” She offered, slowly putting some distance between her and El at a normal pace. He furrowed and unfurrowed his brow, and opened his mouth to say something before closing it again. He instead shook his head and coughed toward the ground before straightening up again.

“You as well Professor. Lady Rhea requests an audience with the two of you.”

Byleth looked down at herself then back up at Seteth.

“We’re not all that good at getting around yet.”

“I am meant to escort you both one at a time to her. I will start with Lady Edelgard then return to aid you professor.”

“Is that really necessary?” Edelgard spoke up, and Byleth detected the irked tone she was trying to suppress. “While I may be able to get to her audience hall, the Professor has barely gotten out of bed since she’s returned.”

Byleth quirked a small smile, she liked seeing Edelgard protective of her. Seteth, however, looked annoyed, and Byleth assumed he’d say something about it unbecoming of the Archbishop to take appointments outside of her chambers.

“That’s alright, I wouldn’t mind the change in position. In fact, if you don’t mind Seteth, I’d like to go first.”

Now Edelgard looked surprised, and quick to protest, but Byleth released her arm and gave her a look that reassured, before scooting herself toward the end of the bed. Seteth came closer, surprised how quickly he was taking orders from Byleth, and helped her steady herself. He stared at her bandages and scars on her exposed arms and neck, looking stung at the slew of injuries. Clearly he hadn’t been told the severity of her condition, or hadn’t been expecting to see it this close up. She gestured to the braced boots they’d tried on earlier and Edelgard begrudgingly helped her get them on. She could tell she was going to get an ear full for this later, but something in her had started thumping at the idea of talking to the Archbishop. She felt she needed answers from her… but did not know the questions to even begin asking.

Seteth and Edelgard got her into the boots and eased her onto her feet though she wobbled unsteadily, and as they tried to move to the door her legs gave out completely, only being held up by their arms.

“Well this is ridiculous, if the Archbishop insists on making her come to her in this state I will be coming too.” Edelgard didn’t attempt to suppress her anger anymore, and again Byleth felt that special pull at her protectiveness. Seteth couldn’t argue if he wanted to. Though to his credit he didn’t look like he wanted to.

Their destination was only down the hall, but it proved to be an almost perilous journey. Byleth could feel herself sweating at the minimal exertion which she found infinitely annoying. But kept pace, and little by little they made it to the large oak doors.

“By the way Seteth…” She said as they paused at the entrance. “Thank you for taking care of my class while I was gone.” She looked at him directly and he looked almost stunned at her kind words.

“Thank you for keeping them safe.” _While I couldn’t._ She thought, spiting herself. He retuned a sharp nod, though seemingly thought better of it and added rather softly-

“They are a remarkable lot, aren’t they?”

“That they are.” Byleth responded with a smile.

They saw themselves in, the doors creaking under their own weight, and there at the head of the room was Lady Rhea. The Archbishop. Her mint green hair and regal crown shining splendidly, illuminated by the early afternoon sun pouring in through her large window. She turned to see them and smiled radiantly, though Byleth detected some sadness behind her eyes… and even more than that… She’d never noticed before, but it was like she was looking through Byleth… for something else.

“Professor, it is wonderful to see you. The Goddess be praised for your safe return.” She continued to smile at her before turning to look at Edelgard. “And you as well Emperor Von Hrsvelg. The Goddess smiles down on you both.” She could feel Edelgard’s hand tighten in her grip. She hadn’t realized she was holding her hand. Rhea seemed to notice too, her eyes, lingering where their two palms met. She hoped she would assume it was for balance.

“Yes, and our housemates are to thank as well.” Edelgard answered back. Byleth detected her typical cold demeanor when interacting with officials and nobles.

“That they are. Though they acted against direct orders, they were spared punishment after successfully following their intuition to finding the both of you in those woods. Divine intervention if I’ve ever seen it.”

 _Punishment?_ The word sent a chill down her spine. Surely it wouldn’t have been as severe as the Western Church, or Lonato… right? She suddenly felt incredibly uneasy.

“I had intended to speak to the two of you separately about different matters, but I see perhaps I rushed our Professor.”

She eyed the padded boots and Byleth’s arm still resting on Seteh’s shoulder.

“I can have one of the servants call for Catherine.” Seteth offered.

“No need, we’re already here.” Byleth said, trying to get to the bottom of whatever it was Rhea wanted to tell her.

“Very well, if you don’t mind speaking openly in front of each other, I will begin.” She and Edelgard nodded.

“The first order of business is that I must pass along my condolences from the church to you Lady Edelgard for the losses the Empire has endured.” She felt Edelgard’s grip tighten against her own, and she turned to see her expression of confusion and worry break across her face.

“Whatever… do you mean?” Edelgard’s business tone faltered briefly.

Rhea’s expression softened for a mere moment, letting genuine empathy show through.

“I am sorry my child, I thought you may have heard by now but… your father has passed while you were away.”

Byleth saw how the news hit her like an arrow in her side. She saw the air of authority and dignity she had always held slip away slightly showing the young girl who had just found out she was an orphan. She’d always been strong, but that was hard news for anyone. She looked to the floor and nodded.

“Manuela had mentioned the loss of an Emperor… I thought she merely meant me.” She shook her head of the feeling. Silence fell over the room. Rhea spoke first.

“Perhaps I will call for Catherine after all, give you some time to yourself?” Edelgard still stared at the stone laid steps rather than at any person, so Byleth looped her index finger around Edelgards thumb and squeezed twice to draw her attention. She looked up at Byleth then at Rhea, as if coming out of a trance and nodded.

“Forgive me, I am alright. I can-“

“No.” Byleth said softly, still looking at the young girl. So young, with so much on her shoulders. “You should go.” She said tenderly to the lilac eyes that peered into hers.

“Rhea, do you have a chair I could use while Seteth escorts her back to the infirmary? Then we can discuss whatever it was you wanted until Catherine and Seteth return for me.”

Rhea smiled at the plan and nodded, having one of the priests in the room produce a seat that Byleth eased herself into. Edelgard looked at her with conflict burning in her eyes, but Byleth knew the girl needed time. She gave her hand one last squeeze to speak in their secret language.

_‘It’s ok… go.’_

Edelgard reluctantly accepted Seteth’s offered arm and they departed. Once they were gone Rhea smiled at Byleth again, that curious look from when she first had walked in.

“Now professor, we have much to discuss.” She came closer and bent to look deeply into Byleth’s eyes. The gaze almost made her uncomfortable with its intensity. _Shit, what was she going to ask Rhea?_ She couldn’t remember.

“How are you feeling?” She asked, intensity working into her voice. It felt like an interview more than a checkup.

“Good.” She said plainly. She assumed Manuela had been giving her updates.

“Are you really? Good would typically incline that you may be able to stand unassisted.”

Byleth laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah ok, pretty sore actually. A lot… happened.” Everyone had been extremely respectful about not prying for details, but she sensed that courtesy coming to an end. Her and Edelgard had briefly discussed what version of the tale they would tell, so she had a general idea how to answer, she just hadn’t wanted to yet.

“Will you enlighten me?”

“It’s a lot… and rather… painful.” She wasn’t lying, it wasn’t fun to talk about, especially when it was so new. Her mind and body tingled as the memories came in.

“I know my child, but could you just tell me a little bit? While you’ve been gone many things have come to pass. The monastery was attacked, an Emperor has died, any information you could give us would be extremely beneficial. Could you tell me how you escaped? That would be enough for today.” Her voice had returned to soothing, she thought maybe she was being paranoid reading into all the other bits. She’d only spoken to two people in the last three days, and before that only one and a half (if you counted her masked self as separate) that had anything worth listening to.

So she did. She told her specifically about how the Flame Emperor killed their warden, but was killed in turn (In a sense.) Edelgard took a lance shot during the ensuing battle (Unrelated as far as she needed to know.) They disguised themselves as two of the dead men. There was a fire (That she started.) 

Her hands started twitching as she could practically smell the smoke, hear the screams of the men that fell through the flames. She felt her nerves spike. She wanted to be done talking about it.

She had the Sword of the Creator. Rhea’s eyes twinkled at that bit of information. She split the earth. She killed many men (The Ashen Demon came out.) They forced a mage to warp them out. She was shot by a Thoron spell. She sacrificed the relic to get away. (The light in the Archbishops eyes dimmed at that.)

“And then Edelgard carried me as far as she could. We hid by a tree. I… I guess I passed out. I thought I’d died. But I didn’t. Then I woke up here the day before yesterday.”

She was becoming antsy talking of it. She felt her wounds as she told the story. Aches coming back. Those same nerves from before. The lightning seemed to be searing her all over again. She didn’t realize Rhea was talking until she stood right before her. Her eyes had softened like that of a mothers.

“Thank you for telling me all this Professor… I know it can’t be easy. We’ll be done for the day, I only have one more question for you…”

Byleth nodded.

“When you say you thought you’d died… did you experience anything?” Her eyes had that intense gaze again. Byleth almost couldn’t stand to look at it. She wondered how much she should tell her. At least a partial truth seemed fair.

“Yes… I heard a voice…”

“A voice you say?” Rhea’s eyes twinkled with excitement anew and something deeper. “What did it tell you?”

“I… couldn’t hear much of it… I only remember pieces… but it wasn’t a voice I recognized, at first…” She shook her head of it, partially uncomfortable discussing it, and partially beginning to forget… _What had the voice said?_

Sweat was beading on her head and her vision felt blurrier.

The oak doors opened again.

“Lady Rhea, Seteth said you needed to see me? Professor!” The blonde knight came closer, surprise in her voice. She roughly patted her shoulder. “Good to see you’re not dead, damn we searched high and low for you. Gave us quite a scare. Hey, you feeling ok? You look awfully pale.” Her tone changed mid sentence as she continued and leaned in to look at her in full. Byleth managed a nod and a small smile.

“Good to see you too Catherine. Still… not put together all the way.”

“Looks like it. Well hey, I’ll get you back to the infirmary as soon as you’re done with Lady Rhea here.”

“We are quite finished for the day, I fear I may have over-exerted our poor friend.” That same smile was back with her regal tone. Seteth came in from the door to Byleth’s other side and he and Catherine helped her to her feet.

“Easy now.” Catherine said. Rhea gave her one last nod.

“Rest well my child. We’ll talk more later.”

The walk back to the infirmary went a bit faster, and Catherine carried on chatting as if no time had passed. As they were at the door Seteth paused them.

“Just to warn you, I think our young Emperor is rather upset.”

“I figured as much.” Byleth responded with a nod. “In fact… I think I can take it from here.”

Seteth raised an eyebrow but again some power over the day had given Byleth control over him. Perhaps it was pity. Whatever the term he and Catherine nodded and left her with a hand on the wall.

“If I hear a yell I will assume you’ve fallen and return.” Seteth said, disappearing down the hall to his own office. Catherine gave her another gruff pat on the shoulder. She thought to tell her that shoulder had stitches but didn’t think it’d make a difference, this was always how she’d shown camaraderie.

“Go get em tiger. We’ll catch up soon.” She headed down the hall as well. Byleth took a breath and opened the door.

There, sitting in the chair facing the window saw the youngest Emperor in Adrestia’s history. And however strong that Emperor was, she was still an 18 year old girl who had just lost the last of her family. Byleth took a few cautionary steps into the room, so far so good. But a few more and she stumbled to the ground. Edelgard turned at the sound and looked aghast, about to protest and rise to aid.

“Byle-“

But Byleth held up a hand and crawled the rest of the way to her side, where she wrapped her arms around Edelgards waist and resting her head against her lap. She felt she needed to be there for her in that moment. Physically. An anchor for the fierce axe-wielding, boundary destroying, sweet-toothed girl who had been nothing short of one for her countless times.

“Professor, really, there’s no need…”

Byleth shook her head no and tightened her grip, and that was the only conversation. Edelgard wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held her there, long enough for the sun to almost disappear over the tree line. Her knees had gone numb, but Edelgard’s grasp never faltered once. So she stayed.

“Are you going to tell me that you will not stand still with me? Not cry with me?” Edelgard asked almost in jest, after hours of them kneeling like this in silence. It was a callback to their conversation when the tables were turned. When Byleth was the one losing a father.

“I’m sure you’ve already told yourself that. I was going to just be here for you… in case you needed me…” Byleth said softly.

Edelgard pulled her even closer and rested her chin on the top of her head. A few tears dotted against her crown and she held her with all the affection she could muster. She hoped the message transferred through her touch.

_‘You are not alone. I’ll never let you be alone.’_

When Manuela returned with dinner she nearly had a kanipshin at finding Byleth on the floor. She got her back into bed with a severe scolding and several exasperated threats, then mumbled about how the Archbishop was going to get a piece of her mind for moving her patients without consulting her. She took a breath and her demeanor changed completely as she stood at the young Emperor’s side.

“How bout us two gals go for a walk?”

Edelgard nodded with a soft smile and a quick look to check on Byleth. She felt herself drowsy from the day, forgoing the food in favor of a nap. They agreed to wake her when they returned so they could all eat together, and the two of them left. She was glad El was opening up to Manuela. She was seeing more and more of her walls coming down. She faded off almost instantly with that idea in mind.

When she opened her eyes she seemed to be dreaming again… the space around her felt tense, the room was almost completely dark and the lone candle flickered and waived from the table. She felt like someone was near, but she couldn’t figure out where. Edelgard wasn’t in her cot. Manuela was nowhere to be seen. Who else could it be? She looked around groggily for the figure she sensed and finally locked eyes with them…

Whoever it was stood just outside her limited vision near the foot of her bed. Their skin looked… grey. Like charcoal. All of their form did. Their armor… their hair… everything but… their eyes.

Their eyes were bright… bright blue.

She felt confused, and on edge. The dream figure came closer… she came closer. Yes… she… she neared the side of the bed away from the candle, moving further into darkness.

A tense sensation gripped her body, but she couldn’t seem to move. She hated when dreams were like this. The figure stopped at her side and looked down into her eyes. Then reached down slowly to her belt and pulled a dagger. She held up the blade that was the same coal grey as her skin… no not coal…

_Ashen…_

She plunged the dagger down into her head and Byleth screamed.

The candle blew out and the room became completely dark. She looked next to her bed.

There was no specter. No person. She panted as she looked around and tried to find the figure, grasping at the splitting pain in her head. There was blood.

A moment later the door opened and in came two sets of footsteps. There was a gasp and someone moved quickly to her side.

“Professor, are you alright?” Edelgard. It sounded like Edelgard.

The other set of footsteps moved to the desk and swore quietly as they struggled to relight the candle. When they’d succeeded they brought it closer to illuminate the forms of Manuela and Edelgard peering down at Byleth with concern.

“Oh, you’ve reopened your stitches.” Manuela reached up and wiped away the blood that was trailing down the side of her face. Byleth was still breathing labored and looking around, trying to make sense of what was happening. She was bleeding… but she hadn’t been stabbed… she tore the stitches above her eye… she had a nightmare…

Manuela handed the light to Edelgard.

“Hold this, I’ll be right back. We’ll get her patched up. Must’ve been some nightmare to make you thrash enough to tear those out.”

Edelgard peered at her with concern and care in equal measures, and lifted her free hand to wipe away some hair from her wound, then rested the back of her hand against her forehead. Byleth tried to slow her breath and anchor to the touch… as she always did.

“Her fever’s back. Perhaps a vulnerary will help.”

“Good call, she hasn’t had one today.”

Edelgard smiled at her with understanding and endless patience, gently taking her hand in her own.

“Only this hand tonight… no one else…” She returned the pressure. Nightmares weren’t new, and they had developed their own strategy to deal with them.

But she reached up once more to feel her wound as Manuela returned with ointment and a needle and thread.

_They’d just never been like that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrightttttt, so we got some progress, laid some ground work, and got a lil bit of fluff between our girls, and of course, at least a little peril.
> 
> We are so off canon at this point that we get the luxury to tell a completely different kind of story so I actually tried to set-up a bunch of the stuff I have in mind this chapter. Initially this was just going to be a 2k-4k chapter but we’re already breaking at 6k... since our girls are already established, we’re instead starting to establish the world around them. This time around will be full cast. I expect a good chunk of Eagles and others to be involved in the overall tale.
> 
> There was going to be some more student interactions in this chapter, but I loved the letter scene so much I left it at that and let them talk to staff instead. Also low-key confession, I’m falling in love with Manuela as I’m writing her.
> 
> That’s it for now! I got a solid plan for the first few chapters if I can stop adding fluff bits we’ll hopefully stay on track! Welcome to the descent into madness!


	2. Slow Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard accepts her fate  
> Byleth accepts help healing  
> They are reunited with their house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez guys, the chap length is already getting wildly out of hand, apparently I love writing fluff for these two as much as I love writing angst, but don’t worry there’s still some peril and drama sewn in between ;)
> 
> This chapter I really loved and it sets up majority of the adventures that are up and coming for our two lovely ladies as well as lets them be freaking adorable. Get ready to ahhh.  
> Also if you’re into it, drinking game. Take a sip every time one of them blushes. Pretty much hammered that point home this chapter... but you know that point in a new relationship when it’s all butterflies all the time and every little thing feels special? They’re kinda there. So screw it, let them be cute.  
> It can’t last forever...

**Part 2 - After Stockholm**

Edelgard’s father was dead. She’d been preparing for this day for a long time. Even at her coronation he had looked ill, frail, not long for this world. She wasn’t surprised it had finally happened… she was surprised how much it still hurt. As she stood in front of the Archbishop and received the news she thought to build a wall, bury that pain like she had many others, put up her mask… but Byleth saw right through her. Instead the indigo-haired hero bought her time to be alone, away from the prying eyes in the audience chamber… and somewhere she could feel the loss properly. So she sat there, letting herself think of fond memories… and attempting to mourn. She had lost 10 siblings… and he 10 children. They had been the only survivors of that tragedy. And now… it was just her.

She was lost in a trance until she heard a shuffling behind her and saw Byleth crumbled to her knees. Edelgard was quick to rise, but only got half out of her chair before Byleth froze her in place with a hand and commanding shade to those cobalt eyes. She arrived surprisingly quick at her side, settled her back in the chair, and received her. Warmth seeped through where their bodies connected, and Byleth surprised her yet again knowing exactly what she had needed, as she always seemed to.

This… she thought… is what she wished she’d had the courage to do for Byleth when Jeralt had passed. Instead she’d been an Emperor more than a friend. She appreciated Byleth in those silent moments more than she could ever explain, and she didn’t feel alone when she had her there in her arms. The cynic in her mind reminded her it couldn’t last. But the part of her that was holding Byleth didn’t care if it did or didn’t.

Manuela returned and fussed Byleth back into bed before coming to stand by her, a reassuring and respectful presence.

“How bout us two gals go for a walk?”

Now here they were, silently circling the second floor.

“Care to tell me what’s on your mind?” Manuela asked as Edelgard stared blankly ahead, focus drifting somewhere far off.

“I guess… everything that comes next.” She’d had been putting off the future. Putting off everything outside of this place to focus on healing, and well, Byleth…

But now… things were different. She had to be the Emperor. And she’d been away from Enbarr for too long. She needed to be there for her people. To catch Hubert up on some… changes. And to determine a million other things. The most pressing one… was she still going to start a war against the Church of Seiros?

“I need to return to the capital.”

“I had a feeling you’d say that… and I know the urgency of it, but that is a loooong journey that I don’t think would be safe in your current condition.”

Edelgard prepared to refute. _Nonsense,_ she’d say. _I can manage_. And she probably could… but the idea of leaving was unpleasant… like swallowing live bees. And while her lungs were working well, her ribs were still a mess. Two days on horseback with them in this state sounded like fresh hell.

“How long before you think it’d be safe?”

Manuela thought on the answer and glanced at where the wound lay beneath her uniform.

“If you were really twisting my arm, and understanding the importance of your journey, I’d say give it 7 days. Today is Sunday… Leave next Sunday.”

 _A week_. Edelgard breathed in the realization. In a week… she had to rejoin the real world she’d been shirking… She’d have to take up the crown, for good this time, and all the responsibilities that came with it.

But what choice did she have? She was Emperor Von Hrsvelg first and foremost. Edelgard second. And El… only to her.

As they returned to their room she had prepared to tell her, but upon seeing the nightmare-riddled Byleth and the re-opened wound she banished her resolve once more in favor of taking her hand. She’d tell her tomorrow…

**********************************************

Byleth was making laps in her boot braces around the office, unassisted as Manuela analyzed her.

“You know, they healed me a lot faster in that shit hole.” Byleth called out, sweat beading down her brow. Her gait was getting slightly better.

“Oh yeah? Are you feeling awfully _healed_ Byleth?” Manuela fired back, eyebrow raised.

Low blow. She wasn’t. All her old wounds ached and her newer wounds were still scabbing.

“They force fed magic into your body as a temporary fix. I’m trying to actually mend you. That takes more time.”

“I know… you’re right, I’m just… I’m bad at this.” She sighed honestly.

“Bad at what?”

“Healing.” She was good at fighting. She was good at killing. She was good at protecting. But demons weren’t usually spared time to heal. They were just lead to the next mission.

“You know taking our time also leaves room for your mind to heal.” Manuela spoke softly.

“My mind?” She stumbled for a step but recovered.

“Your mind remembers all the injuries your body sustains. Time is one of the only ways for it to come to terms with it. And that step can be even more important than the physical healing.”

“What are other ways to heal your mind?” Byleth asked curiously.

“Well, we could talk through your injuries… that often gives patients a sense of control over the past.”

Byleth thought back to the night where Edelgard had revealed the first piece of her marred body in her hands. She cold see the conflict raging inside her, and then the calmness that spread like still water in the wake of acceptance. One less weight on the young Emperor’s shoulders. She had told of many of her own scars that night without hesitation. She hadn’t been scared of them. Was she scared of these new scars…?

No…

She decided she wasn’t, and felt a small spike of resolution coming over her like a blanket creeping around her shoulders. She nodded and turned her gaze to Manuela.

“Ok… can you ask me about some of them?”

Manuela nodded encouragingly.

“Why don’t you tell me about your hand.” She motioned to the bandages still wrapped around the palm.

“Where to begin.” Byleth almost laughed. As a swordsman they’d protected her dominant hand and left her other one to endure the brute of the tortures.

“Well… they sawed off all these fingers. That’s how I got these rings.” She held her hand up and traced two of the rings around her thumb and index. She remembered Edelgard kissing each scar on this hand during their night together. The thought made her smile ever so slightly.

“Then later on… they pulled the arm behind my back and bent it badly. Punishment.”

“Punishment for what?”

“Protecting Edelgard.” She said matter of factly with a shrug. As if it was expected. Manuela nodded softly.

“I see. How did the healing go for that?”

“Took a long time. They broke it again after Edelgard tried to fix it.”

“Tried to fix it?” She asked curiously.

“We could channel my energy through her hands back to me.”

“That… is the first I’ve heard of that. Very interesting.” She watched Manuela, ever the scholar make a mental note, then return to the moment.

“What of your palm?”

“Dagger through it twice, arrow through it once. Same day. Last day.” She added, and as she said it… she felt a cloud clearing in her mind. _Last day._ They really were gone from that place. And she would heal. A content smile worked across her lips.

“Well I think that’s enough for today.” Manuela said smiling. “That’s wonderful progress.”

She wasn’t sure if she meant her walk or her confessions, but both felt good…

“So Byleth...” Manuela changed tone to something lighter as she helped her shed the boots and ease back into the cot. “You and Edelgard seem close.”

A blush was on her cheeks immediately. She didn’t want it to be, but it was involuntary. She simply nodded.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

Byleth shook her head and tried to look anywhere else while she willed away the pink from her cheeks, but Manuela wasn’t that easy to slip. She sat on the edge of the bed.

“Look, I’m not just a pretty face Professor. I know young love when I see it.”

And her blush was at full force. Gods that was an annoying trait. She was used to being able to hide whatever she was feeling on the rare occasion she was. Blushing was new, and disappointingly difficult to conceal.

“What makes you say that?” Byleth tried flatly.

“Well, besides the fact that I have eyes, and absolutely _everything_ about the two of yours behavior... most notably I’d say it’s the way you look at each other. Or more specifically, the way you never seem to look at anything else.”

Well what could Byleth do about that? Control her eyes? Squint a bit more? Look Less?

“That’s different…” Byleth tried. She felt it was a feeble excuse, but Manuela continued with her knowing smile and let her try to refute. “I like to keep an eye on her… whenever she was out of sight… bad things tended to happen.” She wasn’t lying, she felt a constant need to check on her safety. Manuela softened a bit and looked less like a gossip and more like a friend.

“Listen... Whatever the two of you went through… was truly awful. I have no doubts.” She motioned to the fading scars on her left hand once more. “And I am truly, truly grateful that you both had each other through it. I dare say neither of you could have returned without the other.” Byleth felt the truth in that.

“I just... I know it can be difficult transitioning back to the real world after something like that, even without bringing a relationship with you.”

“If you’re trying to discourage me and Edelgard-“

“No no no dear, quite the opposite. You just don’t strike me as the romantic type, so if you need any advice on dates and who should kiss who, and general things… I may not have the best track record but I could at least offer an ear. That’s all I wanted to say dear, I think you two are great for each other.” She smiled and squeezed Byleth’s hand. Byleth was genuinely surprised and blinked to show it.

“Rhea thinks its a bad idea...” She blurted in a whisper, thinking of the warning she’d given her during that mornings question and answer session.

_‘We wouldn’t want people getting the wrong idea.’_

Manuela waived her hand as if to dismiss it.

“So what? Even if she does you’re both technically adults. And the school year ends in a month, there’s nothing she can do to stop it. She will have no power over you.” Byleth considered her words and nodded. School would be out. She would no longer be a professor. Edelgard would return to the Empire… could she follow her? Would she want her to follow her…?

Maybe she did need advice…

She honestly had no idea how to even begin to court Edelgard… but she wanted to…

“If I did… want to… be with her…” She felt incredibly uncomfortable talking about this. She’d rather break her arm again. Her blush felt like an inferno within her body. “What would I do first?”

Manuela just smiled.

“Well, I would have the two of you spend some time doing things that didn’t involve healing. Something that is just fun or relaxing for a change, something personal and special. Mostly I would say, just take things slow. You’ve both been through a lot.” Byleth nodded.

“Slow.” She repeated. Guess they’d already gone a little… fast. But slowing down sounded like a good idea. She thought about what Manuela said about dates. People went on dates. Maybe she’d plan one of those. She was tempted to ask Manuela for advice but was sure it was something she should come up with on her own.

“Alright, enough girl talk. If you’re not too tired I did promise guests today, and I think they just arrived.”

Byleth felt her whole self brighten.

“I tried to keep it to two at a time but they were rather… insistent. Though I swear by the power invested in me as a medical professional, if you overdo it they will not be allowed back.”

Manuela pointed with legitimate force behind her words and waited for the acknowledging nod before moving to open the door. Enthusiastic voices greeted her immediately.

“Professor!!!”

**********************************************

Edelgard was heading back from the library with a stack of white magic tomes. When she’d awoken that morning Rhea had already summoned Byleth, much to her annoyance, and she had been gone for hours. She grew restless. And annoyed. And suspicious. _What was Rhea playing at?_

“You know,” Manuela had started, detecting her jitters. “Someone here asked me about learning some healing magic. Maybe I can teach you the basics before your trip?”

Edelgard was desperately thankful for the distraction. Her mind was going insane sitting in the small space and worrying about the Archbishop’s motives for Byleth.

“I think you’re clear to move about on this floor without supervision. No stairs, but why don’t you head to the library and pick up any tomes you see in this section,” She scribbled some reference on a scrap of paper and handed it to Edelgard. “And _I_ will go see what the Archbishop is keeping our dear professor for that is so important.”

Edelgard appreciated her protective instincts. She’d have asked to come along, but she was sure if she saw the woman again she would snap. She had been angered in her presence yesterday, but been dealt the surprise loss of her father. Now her mind had wandered to the crescent scar emblazoned into Byleth’s flesh… as a child… and countless other wrongs she knew the church had committed, and she remembered the validity of her mission. She felt confident she would still oppose them, but she needed to reunite with Hubert to reassess the methods they would take, now that their war relief looked different. She was sure he’d be upset that she had single-handedly undone all their careful planning with the thrust of a dagger… but he… he hadn’t seen what she had.

She stood in the library and froze reaching for a book.

She thought of all the atrocities committed against Byleth. The saw, the daggers, the lightning… the way her body had been bruised and broken in every place… and still… she’d managed to smile at her. To heal her wounds. To hold her…

There wasn’t a choice when it had come down to it. Byleth was too great a loss to accept… and she didn’t regret it, now staring down an unknown future. Thales and his lot deserved everything they got and she would hunt the rest of them to the ends of Fodlan. There was no place for them in her new world. And she would convince Hubert of these things.

But it would still be an unpleasant conversation. She shook her head of it for now and chose to focus on the tomes.

As she was nearing the infirmary she could hear quite the commotion of laughter and loud voices, but before turning the corner noticed a certain anxious noble huddled by the wall, crouching with her hands over her head.

“Bernadetta?” Edelgard called out. The girl seemed to shrink farther with a shrill squeal.

“Don’t hurt me!” She yelled instinctually.

“I won’t, I promise. Just like I promised before.” She came to crouch by her purple-haired friend. “What’s going on? Why are you out here?”

The girl in question looked nervously at the ground between her shoes and traced the lines of the bricks.

“Th-the others w-went to see the Professor… but I just can’t! I can’t!” She slammed her eyes shut and punched the stone floor.

“She won’t want to see me! Stupid Bernie! It’s your f-fault…” Tears built at the corners of her eyes. Edelgard gently set down the books she was holding and softened her voice.

“Now that’s not true at all. Byl- the professor would love to see you. You saved her life after all, she’s told me she wishes to properly thank you.”

“S-she has?” Edelgard smiled and nodded. “She’s n-not mad?”

“Of course not. Why would she be?” And then she remembered. Kronya took her.

“I… I just w-wish I’d been stronger… th-then maybe…” Edelgard rested her hand on Bernadetta’s shoulder.

“I think we all blame ourselves in some way for her capture. I know I do…” She remembered their talk where Byleth had assured her she carried no blame and only placed it on herself. She had tried to believe her.

“Y-you do?” Edelgard nodded to answer.

“But the professor doesn’t.” She finished. Bernadetta looked at her with her puppy dog eyes.

“Sh-she doesn’t?” 

“No, but why don’t you come with me so she can tell you herself?” Edelgard smiled.

Bernie’s hands fidgeted at her side but she eventually nodded and rose to her feet, dabbing the corners of her eyes with her wrist.

“O-oh wait… you sh-shouldn’t be carrying those! You’re still hurt!” Bernadetta ripped the books off the ground and held them in a neat little heap, and Edelgard smiled at her. She knew the young girl had self-esteem issues, she’d seen her shed them ever so slightly in their time under Byleth, and her way of combating that useless feeling had been to do any little task she could, and Byleth would always smile and praise her like a proud parent. A simple smile or nod or ‘Thank you Bernadetta’ would make her day. She hadn’t realized what an impact Byleth had made on all her classmates until she had been ripped from them and she’d seen the alternative. She was happy they’d all be reunited.

As they swung the door open to the infirmary they saw their five housemates huddled intensely around the cot, all talking at once. Manuela was sitting at her desk silently shaking her head, but with an appreciative smile. And at the center of the huddle sat Byleth. Seeing the light, small smile on her face as she listened to her students talk over each other was charming beyond measure. Edelgard noticed her eyes dip to her mid conversation and her smile widen a fraction more. It made her cheeks feel very warm, and a smile force onto her lips. She liked that no matter who was in the room, Byleth would always look for her, and that smile would always be reserved for Edelgard.

The rest of the housemates were quick to greet them.

“Edie! Bernie! We were just saying we were missing you both! Now if only Hubie wasn’t in the capital we’d have our own little reunion.” Dorothea beamed as she came near the two girls taking one of each of their hands with a wink and bringing them toward the bed. Edelgard suddenly realized how much of her mentor was in her.

“We were just telling the professor about how Ferdinand broke his leg on the first mission without her, you remember that story, right Edelgard?” Caspar yelled enthusiastically.

“How could I forget?” She sat on the edge of her bed behind the group. “He went running in, brandishing his lance against 4 soldiers, defeated all of them, then jumped backwards to evade what he _thought_ was an arrow… but was really a bird.”

While his classmates laughed out loud, Ferdinand looked far less enthused by the story, putting his hand to his forehead as if to compose himself.

“His foot catches the end of a fallen shields and SNAP! Ferdie is down by a birdie.” Caspar clutched his ribs and laughed openly. Byleth shook her head with a fond smile.

“Yes… can we stop telling that story now? It is not the impression I wish to leave our fine instructor with of my capabilities.”

“Four on one is no easy feat. You did well Ferdinand.” She added simply. His cheeks reddened from the praise. She turned her head toward the new archer in their midst who had set down the books and now held one of her arms closely against her side. Her eyes kept darting to different patches on the floor but Byleth just smiled.

“Bernie… I was hoping to see you.” The girl tensed at hearing her name from the professor. “I understand you were the one who saved Edelgard when she was carrying me.”

“Well Ferdie and I were there too,” Dorothea started, but nudged the quieter girl forward. “But it was Bern who shot down those nasty mages and saved the day.”

Bernadetta’s legs were shaking and Byleth patted the bed for her to sit. She reluctantly did, hands trembling. She still couldn’t meet Byleth’s eye.

“Thank you for saving your classmate Bernadetta. I would have been truly lost if anything happened to her.” And just like that, Byleth had once more produced a blush to her cheeks. She knew there was a deeper meaning to the words by the brief glance in her direction. Bernadetta seemed to squirm under her praise, and Byleth’s head tilted slightly in that endearing tick Edelgard had come to understand as her way of reading a situation.

“Have I ever told you my greatest fear?” She asked softly.

Bernie cautioned a glance at her.

“Y-you have fears too, Professor?” Byleth nodded.

“Many. Some may seem silly. Biting into moldy bread. Fighting a six-armed man. Saws. (Edelgard grimaced at that one.) But my biggest fear… as your professor… and as your friend, is harm coming to people I care for.”

She felt the air in the room change slightly. The admiration for their professor doubling before her eyes.

“So thank you… for protecting her when I couldn’t.”

“I… guess I’m a-afraid of that t-too… and th-then it happened… to y-you.” Bernadetta mumbled quietly. Her guilt still shone in her eyes, threatening tears.

“Sometimes that happens. Sometimes our fears come true, but having them is ok.” Byleth had a way of speaking things so straightforwardly that the only course of action was to accept them as fact.

“I’m afraid of rats.” Edelgard added, quite unexpectedly by her standards. She felt the urge to follow Byleth’s lead. Bernadetta’s eyes raised to her with a bit of hope. “Always have been. They bring back bad memories.” She felt strange sharing from her past… uncomfortable even. But she saw Byleth’s knowing gaze, offering sincerity and encouragement instantly. She thought of how warm she’d feel pressed against her side in that moment.

“I am being the afraid of sharks. There are many in Brigid, and they are the terror- no, they terrorize the fisherman.” Petra said in her typical positive tone. “When I was young I saw a man whose arm was taken by one. There was much blood and teeth. The man screamed quite loud.” Maybe too positive for a surprisingly gruesome story. Very her.

“I’m afraid of failure I suppose.” Ferdinand said, a finger and thumb on his chin as he looked deep in thought. “A noble such as myself can not misstep. It would mean disaster for many others that rely on me.”

“I’m not afraid of anything!” Caspar boomed happily, hands on his waist.

“Except spiders.” Linhardt added, leaning lazily against the window. Caspar flustered.

“When I was little! That’s different!”

“He’d always run to me when we were kids and beg me to squash them with my books. It was quite the chore.” Caspar was practically fuming, fists balled at his side and struggling to find a rebuttal.

“As for me, I suppose I’m afraid there are things I will never understand.” Linhardt said, looking ever the scholar as he itched the inside of his ear with his finger. “The world changes every day, how can we hope to study all of it’s changes and the ones that have already come to pass?” He flicked whatever he found on his ear off the end of his finger dismissively.

“I’m afraid… of growing older.” Dorothea added quietly. Her tone turned serious for a second, but she slipped back into her goodnatured smile quickly as if to divert. “I just don’t think I’ll be able to pull off the greys, no offense Edie.” Edelgard merely hummed a laugh.

“I’m afraid… of my father.” Bernadetta said softly toward the floor. Byleth nodded in understanding and leaned forward, catching her eye.

“That’s the good thing about sharing your fears. We can protect each other from them.”

“Wh-what if we c-can’t?”

“I’m not saying we all have to go fight a shark, but we can help Linhardt make time for his research, we can help push Ferdinand in his studies so he’ll never falter, and we can squash spiders for Caspar.” He grumbled and shot Linhardt an annoyed look that the green-haired man smirked at.

“And sometimes… just being there is enough.” Byleth finished, sharing a glance in Edelgard’s direction. Her blush burned yet again as she reminisced on the night she’d held her away from the rats. Dorothea seemed to notice. She was surely going to pry later.

Bernadetta nodded, smiling slightly. The air in the room felt familiar and fond… like all the other months of the Black Eagles. Like no time had passed. The only difference was now Edelgard no longer tried (or was no longer able) to hide her affections when she stared at her teacher.

“Manuela, do you think our dear professor could join us for dinner tonight?” Dorothea asked over her shoulder. The physician gave a calculating look.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We still haven’t tried stairs, and that’s a long distance even with her braces.”

“How about a practice run?” Byleth asked suddenly.

Manuela raised an eyebrow at her.

“I’ll try the stairs later today, Edelgard can help me. If it goes well I’m cleared for dinner.”

She gave a certain look to Manuela she couldn’t quite decipher, as if asking for something. Manuela seemed to find it an entertaining question whatever it was and she merely shook her head with a smile.

“Very well… but first you need to rest, so everyone out.” Collective groans ensued and she stood with her no-nonsense demeanor.

“I’m not kidding, out the door, let’s go.”

The students murmured various goodbyes and encouragements, and all said they looked forward to seeing her at dinner.

“You’re… really not mad?” Bernadetta asked so quietly Edelgard almost missed it. She still hadn’t moved from the edge of the bed.

“I’m really not. Just glad you’re ok.” Byleth offered another small smile and reached across to tussle her hair.

“I’m glad you’re ok too.” She said in her classic anxious demeanor.

Dorothea wrapped an arm around the girl’s shoulder and smiled, leading her to the door.

“Well we better be off before Manuela physically removes us. See you both tonight. Edie, take care of our professor won’t you?” Another wink. _Oh yeah, she was onto them._

**********************************************

When Byleth had awoken from her nap she saw Edelgard sitting up in bed, intently studying some tomes. That surprised her. She’d never known her to have an interest.

“What’re you reading?” She asked sleepily. Edelgard perked up at her voice and turned to her with a smile.

“Oh… nothing much. Manuela recommend some books if I was interested in learning healing magic.”

“Are you?”

“Well… yes. After… what happened. I think if I’d have been better equipped I could have been of more use.” Edelgard tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, still staring at her book.

“You saved my life countless times even without it.” Byleth reminded her. “But I can respect wanting to be ready for anything.”

“Thank you my teacher.” Byleth sat up and gingerly scooted her legs over the end of the bed. She felt decidedly better. She wouldn’t be doing any cartwheels, but maybe there was something to be said for taking time to heal. She smiled at Edelgard as their eyes rested on each other and they were lost in their own little world again. She was starting to think Manuela had a point about the staring.

At that the door clicked open and the physician herself waltzed in.

“Good, you’re both awake. Byleth, are you feeling up for your dry run?” She quirked an eyebrow and Byleth felt a small mischievous smile pull at her lips. Before she’d settled in for her nap and while Edelgard had been stacking some books she’d asked Manuela a favor. It appeared the former songstress had been successful and Byleth nodded happily as she was helped into her boots.

Edelgard noticed the smiles they were exchanging and Byleth was sure she was onto them, but wouldn’t be able to guess the surprise.

They got her on her feet and Byleth looped an arm in Edelgard’s, appreciating the warmth at her side. Every touch was still exciting and new, and would send butterflies mad in her stomach. In 'that place,' as she’d come to call it, they had been rather free with their affections but out here they rarely seemed to have time to themselves.

And according to Manuela, they weren’t very good at hiding it. But she was starting to care less. Manuela had been right, even if Rhea or whoever didn’t approve… this was her choice. And she only needed Edelgard’s approval to act on it.

Manuela had waived them down the hall with a “Have fun you two!” And Byleth definitely detected the implication in her tone, but she _was_ going to have fun. Edelgard gave her a raised eyebrow as they went.

“What are you two up to?” She asked, detecting something amiss. Byleth merely smiled.

“Whatever do you mean?” She tried to answer blankly but couldn’t keep her half smile away. Edelgard didn’t press farther but she mirrored the half smile as they walked.

“You’re already doing much better my teacher.” She commented as they walked. Byleth smiled. She was, wasn’t she? Healing was happening… and now she got to plan something just for the two of them. First obstacle before that could happen… stairs.

They went little by little, neither of them particularly gracious. The boots made it hard for Byleth to bend her knees naturally and Edelgard was going slow, monitoring her ribs. She slipped a step and Edelgard caught her tightly around her waist and they both looked at each other wide-eyed.

_’That was close.’_

“My hero.” She said softly. Edelgard's blush was back and Byleth smiled. It was becoming akin to a sport for her to redden her students cheeks.

They got down the rest of the stairs without incident, but taking about 4 times longer than Byleth could ever remember.

As they arrived at the base she drew in a long breath of the outside air. She had spent much of her life in nature and being away from it was disorienting every time. She smiled as she looked around the grounds, stalling as she reacquainted herself with the area. This place had been like home for her…

She felt Edelgard lean against her side and she looked down to her student who was looking up at her such a serene expression.

“What?” She asked softly.

“Just admiring. You always look truly content when you’re outside my teacher.”

Now she was blushing. The score was 1 to 1. She was tempted to kiss her, but she remembered what Manuela had said about taking things slow. And she remembered Rhea’s cryptic warning.

“Shall we?” She asked instead. They walked in silence and in an uneven gait, but neither seemed to mind. The grounds were empty of students at this hour, everyone in classes or clubs, and their side of the compound seemed almost secluded.

“You know what I missed in captivity? Rain.” Byleth said wistfully.

“Why is that?”

“I don’t know… it’s just one of those things… you don’t realize you’ll miss til it’s gone.” Byleth thought out loud. Edelgard smiled at her words and hummed in soft acknowledgment.

They neared the gazebo, and Byleth’s favorite area. There was one small table by the edge of the hedges, blocked off at almost every vantage point and offering privacy, and placed on it was a tray with a teapot, two cups, and a shortbread. Edelgard’s mouth curled into a surprised smile as they neared the setup.

“My teacher…”

“It’s been awhile since we’ve had tea.” She offered, unable to hide her proud smile at their rouse.

“It has. We shall have to remedy that.” Edelgard quirked.

They settled slowly into the wrought-iron chairs and Byleth lifted the tea pot to pour the cups. Edelgard watched with playful amusement.

“What?” She asked as she poured the first cup.

“I was just remembering the last time we had tea… in your room.” Byleth remembered too. “We only had one cup then.” Edelgard smiled fondly. Byleth set the pot down and grabbed the empty cup, tossing it over her shoulder where it clattered on the grass. Edelgard’s eyes widened and they both breathed out a soft set of laughs.

“I truly can never predict what you will do my teacher.”

“Good.” Byleth responded, and she pushed the lone cup toward her. Edelgard smiled and accepted.

“Bergamont.” She realized with a shake of her head and a slight blush. 2-1, home team. “What is your favorite tea my teacher?”

Byleth blinked at the question. _Her favorite tea..._ She looked at the table in deep thought.

“I don’t know.” She finally answered.

“You don’t know?”

“I’m not picky, and I like whatever’s available or whatever my students are having, so I just have that.”

“But you don’t have a favorite?” Byleth shook her head. She didn’t think it was a big deal, but Edelgard sure seemed to. She set the cup down and regarded Byleth with her studious gaze.

“Is that bad?” Byleth was starting to feel self-conscious.

“I’ve decided that that is unacceptable.” She said, suddenly in her official tone. “And if you don’t have a favorite flavor, we will have to find one for you.”

Byleth looked confused. Did it really matter that much? But Edelgard wore the same expression from when they had studied tactics, she was dead serious.

“Does it really… bother you that I don’t have a favorite? Bergamont is fine.” Byleth tried, still not seeing the point, and Edelgard softened and reached across the table to lay her hand against Byleth’s forearm.

“No my teacher, it’s not entirely important… I just remember what you said… about not getting to make many choices in your life.” Her words were soft and she traced scars on Byleth’s arm as she spoke.

“I thought… perhaps this could help. Even choosing something simple like a tea you like, not for someone else, but for _you_. That’s something a person would do.”

“Not a weapon…” The realization dawned on her what Edelgard was implying, and it sent a wave of warmth through her core. It was a kind thought. And it meant more knowing what she knew of Byleth’s fears and past. A favorite tea would be nice. It would be the second thing she’d chosen for herself…

“Ok. I accept.” Byleth stated, clasping her free hand overtop Edelgard’s that had still been drawing small circles against her skin.

“Excellent.” Edelgard beamed. She pushed the current cup back toward Byleth, who released her hand to accept it.

“This is the one to beat.” Byleth smiled taking a sip. The tea had never been important, but Bergamont made her think of Edelgard, so it was already ahead of the pack.

They finished sharing their tea and sweet shortbread with a promise to reconvene tomorrow, pending Manuela’s permission, and begin trialing some of the many tea leaves the school had to offer.

“How are your legs feeling?” She really was becoming like a personal nurse Byleth thought with an inner chuckle as they neared the stairs. But she was relatively confident were the tables reversed, she would be fretting the same.

“Good. Though this is definitely my least favorite part.” The boots made going up stairs far harder than going down and she could almost laugh at the pitiful display she was putting on, awkwardly swinging her legs wide and holding a hand on the wall for support. Edelgard stayed a step behind her, silently assessing and ready to balance her should she slip.

“That may be an unsafe place to stand. I’m heavy.” She warned.

“Precisely why I hope to not have to catch you, but will all the same.”

Byleth smiled and looked back at her- and her blood ran cold.

At the base of the stairs, over Edelgard’s shoulder… was _her._

The specter with ashen clothes and skin, and Byleth’s blue eyes… with Byleth’s everything. It was a monochromatic version of Byleth staring at her from beneath the stairs… They locked blue eyes and she saw nothingness behind them.

But she was awake… what-

In her stunned repose she missed a step and fell forward, slamming her knee against the harsh stone. She felt it break skin immediately, the metal boot pulling her down faster.

“Byleth!” Edelgard crouched next her, holding her up with an arm against her back.

Byleth turned back quickly in a panic to look for the specter- but she was gone. As if nothing had ever been.

_Shit. What the hell is this?_

**********************************************

When they’d returned Manuela had pitched a fit and rushed Byleth back into her cot with a series of head shakes and I-knew-its. She got a cloth and wiped away the blood from the broken skin and was looking like she had a whole lecture queued up and ready to go, but paused when she noticed her expression. She’d been quiet after her fall, which was unlike her. Byleth was someone who literally couldn’t be kept down. The setback was annoying but fairly minor, compared to what she’d seen her rise from. _What was suddenly bothering her?_

Manuela noticed the unusual temperament as well and looked to Edelgard with her unspoken question, but she could only shake her head. She sighed and finished washing the wound.

“Edelgard, how you feel about trying a healing spell?”

She was surprised at the question, but nodded. _Anything to help Byleth._ The question and the new presence at her side drew Byleth’s attention, and she looked between the two of them seeming to come down from whatever plane she’d been on.

“If you don’t mind, could you two show me the technique Byleth mentioned?” Edelgard looked to her for direction and she nodded, joining their hands together and looking toward the wound. Edelgard understood, resting her free hand over it and waiting til she felt the familiar hum of white energy in their joined hands. As it came she redirected and focused, watching the skin reform slowly, until a new patch had grown over the gash.

“Interesting… I’ve never seen this particular technique. I dare say it takes a good amount of magical ability. You've got a very bright future in white magic my dear.” Manuela smiled in earnest, doing her best to reassure at least one of her patients, and Byleth came out of her trance to smile at Edelgard’s success.

“Now… about dinner…” Manuela started, looking like the bearer of bad news.

“It’s fine. I don’t think I’m ready. But you should go.” Byleth turned to Edelgard reassuring. She was ready to refute but cold think of no reason other than her concern for Byleth.

“That would be a good idea. Your housemates will be sure to give me all kinds of grief if neither of you show up. And if you can navigate the campus on your own, that’ll be the first step to being discharged for Enbarr.” Manuela offered.

Byleth turned back to her quickly, confusion on her features. Goosebumps rose on Edelgard’s arms. _You forgot to tell her._

“When… are you going to Enbarr?” Byleth asked softly. Manuela looked between the two of them, sensing the sudden disease and decided she’d rather be anywhere else, making some excuse along the lines of going to look for Seteth.

“Soon.” Is all Edelgard manages at first. “I’m needed, with my fathers passing. Manuela said… perhaps next Sunday.” Edelgard felt uneasy telling her. Byleth merely nodded.

“I see.”

“It was something we discussed last night as a possibility. I apologize, I meant to tell you sooner, I just didn’t get a chance with everyone here earlier-“

“Hey, hey, it’s ok.” Byleth softly interrupted.

“You- are certain? I said I wouldn’t keep things from you any more, and I meant it Byleth. It merely slipped my mind."

“It’s ok. I understand. And I believe you.” Byleth said in the same soft tone. “It makes sense. You are the Emperor. Your people need you.” She gave a small reaffirming smile before sighing toward the window.

“I think I may try to rest, I’m not feeling all that well.” She sunk lower into the bed and turned to face away from Edelgard. “Give everyone my apologies for missing dinner.”

Edelgard felt Byleth pulling away, but wasn’t sure why. She wanted to go roll her on her back and stand over her, get to the bottom of this, but she thought about how Byleth had always consoled her in the past. Maybe she’d take a page out of her teachers book and give her space.

Dinner was perfectly pleasant. The groups energy was reinvigorating, and it quickly devolved into old times.

“Well if it isn’t the Adrestian Princess back from the grave.” Claude walked over with his hand resting on his hip, classic playful tone, but more warmth in his eyes than usual.

“Adrestian Emperor.” Ferdinand corrected. “Hubert’s not here to threaten you for the slip up, but a noble such as yourself wouldn’t want to offend his colleagues.” Claude laughed and shook his hand.

“Apologies, no offense meant by it. With do sincerity, I’d like to say welcome back Edelgard. I think we’re all extremely relieved you and the Teach are here again. You two disappeared under such awful circumstance, and the knight’s lips were sealed on the damn matter so all we could do was worry. Anyway, it’s good to see you.” He smiled honestly this time and gave a curt nod. She returned the gesture and he moved on toward his houses table.

“Edelgard…” Dimitri walked up next. There were bags under his eyes that gave way he’d been fretting about something. She wondered if it was about her... but it looked deeper than that. They were political step siblings, but not much more.

“I’m so glad to see you back on your feet. Did you get a chance to read my letter?” She’d completely forgotten about it.

“Not yet. My apologies, Manuela mentioned there were letters, but there hadn’t been much time to read them in between the recovery.” He nodded and smiled sincerely, though he still looked quite tired.

“When you have, I would love a chance to speak with you in person.” She wondered what was in that letter that would warrant so much of his concern.

“Of course. We’ll make time soon.” He looked appreciative then took a bow followed by his leave.

“What do you think that was about?” Dorothea asked in the wake of his departure.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Edelgard said, returning to her stew.

“So Edie…” Her tone lowered so only the girl next to her could hear. “What’s going on between you and the professor?” Her eyes danced with a glint of curiosity and playfulness. “And before you try to deny it… just don’t ok? I saw you today, and the day we found you in the woods, and countless other days where it was very obvious you were whipped. But now somethings different between you two."

“There’s nothing to tell, I assure you.” But she was sure she didn’t believe her.

“That bad huh? What, was she awful in bed or something?” Edelgard had made the mistake of taking a bite during this conversation and half sputtered half choked at the comment, a mist of broth shooting to the other side of the table. Dorothea’s eyes lit up and her lips turned to a small, knowing ‘o.’ She had been fishing.

“I assure you, you are completely off-base.” She whispered harshly.

“Off-base that you slept together or that she was bad?” Dorothea leaned in closer, victory in her eyes,

“Dorothea.” Her tone was warning and commanding and a bit desperate. “Please stop this nonsense.”

“Ok Edie, I’m sorry for pressing.” She dropped her voice back to something playful.

“Besides… it doesn’t matter.” At that Dorothea raised an eyebrow, but Edelgard simply stared into her bowl. In her mind she was leaving… Byleth was staying… that was all there was to it. Whatever they had had...

“It might… Maybe you guys should talk. Because whether something happened or not… it seems like it could.” Dorothea finished softly as the gang called their attention back to the conversation. Edelgard thought over it as they finished dinner. _Talk. Maybe there was some merit to that._

Edelgard woke that night in the dark room. She couldn’t remember if it had been nightmares or the sound of something stirring, or nothing at all. She looked around as her eyes adjusted and saw Byleth’s bed… empty. A spike of concern. Rhea wouldn’t have come for her in the middle of the night, would she? She saw the door had been left partially open and her boots… were still on the ground. A second spike. Now she was worried.

She rose quickly, only feeling a slight tug at her stitches, and hurried into the hall. She thought to wake Manuela, but only wanted to if she absolutely couldn’t find her herself. She heard the rain from outside as she moved through the corridor. _Wait. She wouldn’t be_ … She hurried down the stairs, taking them far faster than was recommended. And there 4 steps from the end of the stairwell with the perfect view of the rainfall, sat Byleth, arms hanging in between her lap. Posture somewhere between distressed and relaxed.

Edelgard felt the tension in her shoulders drop and slowed as she came to sit on the step behind Byleth. A few stray drops pattered against her skin. Byleth noticed her approach.

“Sorry… for worrying you. I was restless.” She thought of all the rants on safety she could give, but none seemed like what Byleth needed.

“Did you want to see the rain?” Edelgard asked softly. She nodded.

“Remind myself that I’m really… free.”

“You are my teacher… you’re safe.”

“I don’t _feel_ safe.” She whispered softly. Edelgard felt her concern doubling and moved down to sit on the same stair as Byleth. She put a hand gently to her cheek and turned her ever so slowly to face her.

“Byleth, what’s going on?” She saw the conflict in her eyes as she averted her gaze back to the rain.

“I’ve been… seeing things. People. Person.” She said each word with a pause in between. “Me. I’ve been seeing me. At first only in my dreams… but then today when we were coming back from tea… I saw it again.”

“You saw yourself?” Edelgard asked slowly, trying to make sure she understood the weight of it.

“Yes… but it didn’t look like me. I mean, it did.” Byleth looked exasperated. “It’s nothing. I’m just sick of my mind trying to hurt me.”

“Don’t do that.” Edelgard said tenderly. “Don’t shut me out. Remember what you told the Eagles today about helping each other through fears? I can’t do that if you won’t let me in.” Byleth smiled in a somber sense and shook her head slightly.

“Suppose you’re right. Sometimes I forget I’m _your_ teacher.”

“Do you know what I do when I see phantoms?” Edelgard started softly. Byleth finally turned her eyes to meet her. Her blues were shinning brighter in this moment of vulnerability. Reflecting the rains. “I look for things that should be there that aren’t. Have you seen this… vision in the infirmary?” Byleth nodded. “The thing about hallucinations is that they’re not good at recreating details. So if it comes to you in the infirmary… look for my books. Look for Ignatz’ drawing. Look for your braces. When they’re not there, you’ll know it’s not real. And if it’s not real it can’t hurt you.” Byleth considered the words and nodded.

“What if…” She didn’t finish the words, merely trailing off.

“If it’s more than a vision… and it can hurt you than _I_ will hurt it first.” Byleth laughed, finally beginning to relax like herself again, and leaned into Edelgard’s space to rest their foreheads together. Edelgard sighed into the contact and could feel her worries releasing with each exhale. Their eyes met and she thought she saw that familiar spark.

“Edelgard… can I ask you something?” Byleth started tentatively.

“Of course. Anything.” Byleth pulled back slightly and bit her lip.

“Could we… take things slow…?” There was a slight pinking on her cheeks as she asked. Edelgard wasn’t sure she understood the question.

“I mean… I... I still care for you. A lot. More than anything.” The pink was turning red as she continued to babble. “And I know you’re leaving soon. But… I…” She sighed and rubbed her head in her hands. “I don’t feel completely like myself… and I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t want to fuck this up.” She said finally. Edelgard felt all her concern lift in the moment and she smiled a small tender line as she reached for her hand.

“Byleth… of course, that would be fine.” Cobalt eyes came back toward lilac as her palm rested over hers.

“You’re sure?” Byleth asked. Edelgard nodded in response with her same soft smile.

“Then… would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?” Now Edelgard was blushing, but her smile widened and she nodded eagerly.

“Yes. I- I think I would like that very much Byleth.” Her eyes seemed to be doing back flips at the accepted offer. “Provided Manuela allows you out of the office.” Edelgard added jokingly.

“She’s a romantic, I’m sure she’ll be on board.” Byleth smiled more like herself and they rose arm in arm, Edelgard supporting her back up the stairs.

“How was dinner?” Byleth asked as they ascended.

“Well… I think Dorothea is on to us.” Byleth hmm’d.

“Manuela is too. Were we trying to keep it a secret?”

“I… we didn’t discuss it really, did we?”

“Guess that’s where we went wrong.”

**********************************************

When Byleth awoke next it was still mostly dark out, the sun just creeping in over the horizon leaving a light greenish grey over the room. She let her eyes adjust to their blotted and blurred pattern. On instinct she glanced over at where Edelgard rested and smiled seeing her form moving slightly at each soft inhale and exhale. She suddenly felt that intense tension she was becoming familiar with and searched the room with her haggard vision, until she saw it.

The specter. The Ashen version of herself leaning against Manuela’s desk, partially obscured in the dim light, besides her glowing blue irises. Her expression and posture were blank as always. A familiar look. It suddenly struck her that this… this is what she used to be. This was the Ashen Demon, who lacked empathy and emotion and only lived as a killing machine. She wasn’t sure what it wanted… nor what she wanted from it…

Did she want something from it…?

She saw it turn its gaze toward Edelgard and her tension shifted to dread. _No, no, you stay away from her._ It leaned forward off the desk and took a step toward the sleeping girl. She had to do something… she tried to focus. Focus. Focus on the details. That’s right. That’s what Edelgard had told her. She looked around the hazy room for something. She looked on the far wall and saw… there was no sketch. The sketch Ignatz had sent them and Edelgard had hung up wasn’t there… this was a phantom. It couldn’t hurt her. Couldn’t hurt Edelgard.

She thought of what Manuela had said about talking through pain.

“Hey you.” She called out in a sharp whisper, freezing her specter. “You’re not real. You can’t hurt her. We’re safe.” She said it with quiet strength behind her words, and thought how nice it felt, even for a moment. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, and when she opened them again… it was gone. She looked around to make sure and smiled at her vanquishing of the inner foe. And if it came back she had a defense. She beamed as she looked back at the sleeping form of her friend lying across from her. _Friend…_ that term was not nearly enough for what Edelgard was to her and she knew it… but she was glad they were taking things slow so they could figure it out together. Maybe they’d solicit some help from the diva duo. They had seemed eager to invade on their private lives thus far, but to be fair had also offered some valuable advice…

She remembered that Edelgard had accepted her invitation for a date, and felt a small surge in her still heart. She let the morning sun rise as she thought about different activities they could do together.

The door clicked open later as the sun had comepltey filled the room, and caused Edelgard to stir. Manuela came in with a yawn and rubbing her eyes with one hand, a mug of something in the other.

“Morning. Oh, what’s this?” She crouched down by the door and picked up a paper… and Byleth felt a shiver in her throat and a shatter to the confidence she’d built up, as she noticed the paper in Manuela’s hand was… the sketch from Ignatz... it had fallen from the wall…

The tension crept back in…

Before she had time to process, the door opened again to show a set of unexpected figures. Lady Rhea, decked out in her regalia that nearly blinded in the morning light, and Seteth behind her, arm’s crossed behind his back as the dutiful servant. Edelgard sat up quickly and looked on guard at their sudden appearance.

“Professor, I’m glad to see you awake. I apologize for the intrusion, but I had a revelation that I wished to speak with you about immediately.”

Byleth was a little wary after the early morning grilling she had endured the day prior, and Manuela looked ready to kick her out, but Rhea didn’t leave time. She launched into her pitch, clearly enthused with the prospect.

“After thinking about your recovery, and not wanting to rush you back to your position with the school years end upon us, we came up with another solution.”

She was practically beaming. “Your mother was of the church, your father was the Captain of the guard. It only makes sense that you, my child, should join the Knights of Serios.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go... plot points!  
> :D  
> As you can see from Byleth’s bit at the end things are starting to heat up... where could it go from here??
> 
> Chapter 2 was a delight to write, and it carried a lot of the storylines I want to develop while giving our girls a series of adorable moments with each other.
> 
> What part did you find the most exciting??  
> (My personal fav to write was Dorothea interviewing Edelgard about her and Byleth’s relationship. I openly laughed as I wrote that part)
> 
> Hey we’re always looking for more ways to connect in times like this so feel free to at me in things if that’s something you’d like to do :)  
> Insta and Tumblr are @theunqualified1


	3. Regained Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhea wants to talk to Byleth  
> Edelgard has to talk to Byleth  
> Byleth just wants to go on her date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey party people, we are back! Alright, so here’s this next chapter, and it took awhile to really build this, hoping that it had enough excitement to get us through, but then it had too much and now we’re here. What I really ended up wanting this chapter to be about was Rhea’s piece in it all. Now self-professed not a huge Rhea fan, but I understand the dilemma she poses for Byleth in game and that she is complex character and I wanted that here, so we see what her dynamic does to our girls dynamic.
> 
> Also there are some subtle hints at what’s to come next, feel free to call them out when you see them ;)  
> And we get to see their date! I had a blast writing that scene, it just felt so wholesome.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Part 3 - After Stockholm**

“Your mother was of the church, your father was the Captain of the guard. It only makes sense that you, my child, should join the Knights of Serios.”

Edelgard felt the air halt halfway through her lungs. _This could be bad…_ Rhea stood, practically beaming at her words, arm extended proudly waiting for her subject’s response. Byleth, to her credit, merely blinked. Her classic blank expression betraying a furrowed brow in thought.

“What say you Professor? Will you accept the Archbishop’s most gracious offer?” Seteth sounded almost annoyed at the silence, as if Byleth should be jumping up and down that they’d even consider her for such a position.

“I’d… rather have my old job back.” She said finally, and Edelgard's air flow resumed, sighing in relief.

“But… is there some reason that can’t happen? Have I done something… wrong?” The crease on her forehead deepened, showing slight distress at the thought.

“No, nothing of the sort my child.” Rhea reassured. “This idea came from the notion that we would like to give you time to rest. To recover.” Rhea’s voice carried her typical presentation, but to Edelgard it felt insincerely formal. A facade of peace and grace that harbored something deeper beneath. Especially when she was looking at Byleth. There was a definite blaze in her eyes. A want. A hunger for something. And Edelgard hated it. Seteth spoke again.

“The school year is almost over, and we don’t feel it necessary to rush your recovery for such a small percentage of the academic calendar. If you were ready today or this week even that would be one story, but-“

“So I have a week?” Byleth interrupted, an innocent question to her tone.

“What?” Seteth looked confused.

“You said if I were ready this week, I could have my job back.” Byleth explained, looking for any hint they disagreed.

Rhea and Seteth shared a curious look.

“Professor, I know how proud you are of your students and their work, but there’s no need to put yourself through this kind of strain. That would be the luxury of you joining the knights. There would be no timetable for when you need return to the field.”

Byleth shook her head.

“I appreciate the kind offer, but I’d rather return to my Eagles.” There was a fondness in her final words that brought a smirk to Edelgard’s face, though she turned her attention elsewhere to not draw notice. _She won’t play your games Rhea._ She would not be swayed, and they didn’t seem to want to outright deny her. They were stuck.

“Very well Professor. We will give you the week.” Rhea finally turned her attention back to her, an almost saddened smile on her lips. “On Saturday we will reconvene to assess if you are ready to return as instructor to the Black Eagles house. If you can pass in every area, we will have no choice but to reinstate you. However, if we deem you are not ready either physically, mentally, or spiritually… I pray you will consider our other offer.” She held out her hand once more, palm facing up, and Byleth nodded to accept the terms.

“I’ll think on it… and prepare myself. Thank you Archbishop.” Byleth nodded, neutral expression as always, but eyes still in deep thought.

“Rhea is fine my child.” She smiled brighter this time, but that same look in her eyes. That look that said she wanted something of Byleth… and Edelgard knew she would not be dissuaded. She thought of the scar carved into her chest… _Were the two related? Would she hurt Byleth to get what she wants?_

“Thank you for your time Professor, may the Goddess watch over you.” She bowed slightly and turned to leave. Edelgard was all too ready for her to be gone.

“Wait…” Byleth’s soft voice caught her off guard. Rhea turned back toward her from the doorway.

“Was my mother really of the church?” She asked softly, the crease in her brow back as she pondered the implications.

“Yes, she was. Sitri was her name. I loved her dearly.” Rhea said, her voice sounding genuine and her eyes changing a moment to show some sadness. Some loss… it surprised Edelgard to see the emotions rarely shown from the church leader. “Perhaps I could tell you of her sometime?” Byleth nodded quickly at the sentiment.

“I’d like that.” Rhea beamed once more and left the room, leaving Edelgard to puzzle what this new piece on the board could mean.

**********************************************

Manuela thudded her mug down on the table and walked straight to Byleth, standing over the bed sternly.

“Well that was an unbelievably foolish idea, and don’t think miss missy, that I’m going to let you get away with reckless stunts just because you added this deadline. I really ought to give her a piece of my mind, antagonizing you like this”

Byleth nodded, but she wasn’t listening. There were too many other concerns fighting for priority in her mind. She thought of her talk with the Archbishop the day prior. It had been mostly further questions about her time in capture. Rhea had told her she didn’t have to answer any question she was uncomfortable with, but she got the feeling she did. So she spoke of the saw that had gone through her leg. The fires set to her skin. The healing process of her bones and her eyes. The timetable when Edelgard was captured alongside her. Yes, they’d given her food. No, they hadn’t been able to use the Sword without her to her knowledge. Then eventually she got to what she assumed Rhea had been digging for the whole time. Her crest.

“So you were able to channel the power of the crest into your hands?”

Byleth nodded.

“And your feet?”

Byleth nodded again.

“And a projectile once.” Byleth added. Rhea’s smile was absolutely glowing.

“This is wonderful news my child. Wonderful.” Byleth didn’t see what was so wonderful about it. Sure she could, but it had severely damaged those parts of her body when she did. Her feet were in these damn boots because of it. But she kept these opinions to herself.

“Against incredible odds, you not only managed all of this progress, but also to dispatch of the Flame Emperor and his allies. Tomas, Monica, and what was that mages name?”

“Thales.” Byleth had to fight to keep her rage out of her tone when mentioning El’s deceased uncle. She was sure she’d always hate the man. There weren’t many people she hated, the list may only be those 3 people in fact. (Solon, Kronya, Thales) But she thought she may hate Thales most of all.

“Thales. He was a fearsome enemy of the Church and all of Fodlan. You have managed to succeed in the face of incredible adversity, vanquishing the foes of the monastery, foes of the Goddess herself. Surely the power of Sothis is with you…”

The name triggered a memory in Byleth’s head. _Sothis. Sothis. She’d spoken to someone named Sothis…_ It was blurry.

“Your resilience has been a beacon of the true fate you are destined for my child. I pray you never question your abilities, or that you are meant for great things.” She came closer to Byleth and rested a hand on her knee, crouching slightly. This was most unlike her. She peered deep into her eyes as if she wanted to say more, but nothing came out. She found it curious. She wouldn’t know how to define her relationship with Rhea, the older woman had always seemed to care dearly for her and her father. Going so far as to give her this position, the weapon she weld, the class she adored. Why had she always placed such blind faith in her? The question had never troubled her before, but now… it did. Rhea had decided against whatever she was going to say and simply smiled with a hum instead.

“That will be all for today professor, I see we have indeed worn you out.” She rose gracefully. Every movement she ever made was graceful. She on the other hand pushed up from the chair at an awkward angle to get to her feet.

“One more thing…” She added as Byleth had started to hobble toward the door. “I see you and Edelgard have grown quite close... just be careful my child. We wouldn’t want people getting the wrong idea.”

Those last words had left a sour taste in her mouth.

She came back to the current moment where Manuela was still standing over her, listing all the reasons this was a bad idea.

“-And another thing-“  
“Manuela… I appreciate your concern, but this is my choice.” Manuela froze mid-sentence with a scrunched face. “I will do my best to follow any advice you give… but I NEED to get out of this room.” Manuela sighed deeply and rubbed her temples in her hand.

“You work best with a mission, don’t you?” She asked.

“Yes. I need… a return to field date. And I’ve had to recover like this countless times on my own. I know what my body can take.” The truth behind those words was grim but real.

There wasn’t much of a counter to that. Manuela sighed and moved toward her desk. Byleth chanced a look at Edelgard who had been uncharacteristically quiet this morning. She looked like she wanted to ask something she couldn’t in present company. Byleth made sure to store that knowledge away for later.

“Fine. Fine.” Manuela relented. “We’ll have breakfast, then you and I will write out a strict recovery schedule and you will stick to it or suffer the consequences, understand?”

Byleth nodded. She was ready to not spend all day resting. She was ready to fight for her position with her students. She was ready to be rid of these specters, and demons and she thought distracting her mind with physical recovery would suffice, as it always had.

“Edelgard, would you mind fetching breakfast?” Manuela rubbed her temples again. Edelgard nodded, and rose from bed.

“Rough night professor?” She asked, with a slight smirk that Byleth did not miss. She rarely missed an expression of Edelgard’s.

“You know when you’re planning on having one drink, then it turns into another, and another and then a bottle? That happened twice last night.” Manuela sat back at her desk and downed whatever was in her mug. It didn’t smell like tea.

“Plus, you getting around the campus on your own is the first step in getting you discharged back to your own room. If it goes well, may even be tonight.”

Byleth felt a sharp panic, but smiled regardless. The selfish part of her didn’t like being separated, but the realist in her wanted her to heal. And this was a big step. She couldn’t like being here anymore than Byleth did…

Edelgard left with a small smile meant for her, and when she was gone Byleth had one more idea.

“Manuela, can I practice the stairs today without the boots?”

She looked up with a fierce eyebrow raise, ready to dismiss any more of her crazy antics.

“Why?”

“I have a date tonight.”

**********************************************

After they ate Edelgard was asked to be Byleth’s escort to make sure she didn’t do anything ‘incredibly stupid’ as Manuela had labeled it. But on that very note, she was surprised they had decided she could forgo using the braced boots.

“Are you sure this is wise?” Edelgard asked as they made another lap from the library to the opposite end of the hall. “Wouldn’t it be safer to have the boots?”

“Didn’t want to wear them tonight. Figured I’d practice without them.” Byleth said causally. It took Edelgard a second, then- _Oh. For our date._ She felt a slight color on her cheeks.

“But I told Manuela that if I have any soreness at all, I’ll go back to them tomorrow.”

“And did you mean it?”

“Of course. I just don’t plan to be sore.” She always spoke of things so matter of fact, a trait Edelgard had come to greatly appreciate.

“I take it we’re not a big fan of them?” Edelgard smiled wryly. She couldn’t imagine they were comfortable.

“They feel like wading through mud. It’s better than not moving, but it’s not the same.” Byleth said staring off.

“Have you ever had an injury like this before?” Edelgard asked curiously.

“Yes. My leg was crushed by a fallen horse once. We only had one healer traveling with us at the time, and he would help me day in and day out… but the troupe had other missions. Other injuries. We couldn’t exactly stay still…” Her tone blanked slightly, and she knew they were digging up an unpleasant memory.

“We don’t have to discuss this, if you’d rather not.” Edelgard offered, trying to bring her back to the moment.

“No, no I’d like to.” Byleth’s gentler tone returned and she met Edelgard’s eyes. “Manuela told me… talking about these things can be good. I’ve never tried before. I think I’d like to.”

Edelgard smiled and nodded. She liked that idea for Byleth. Sharing hadn’t been something either of them had been good at, but with each other it was different.

“How long did it take you to recover from that?”

“Long time. Months. And even as it got better it wasn’t the same until long after. I reinjured it on my first mission back, and I don’t think I’ve ever been that… disappointed.” Her eyes creased slightly shut and she exhaled a long breath, then shook her head of it, bright blues returning.

“But it healed… and I know Manuela is having to fix a lot more than just my feet. My legs endured a lot in that place.”

Edelgard could see the bandages from where the saw had torn peeking out from the hem of her shorts as they walked. They kept that scar wrapped. Byleth didn’t like looking at it.

“If my biggest fear… is losing my students...” She was still thinking out loud. “My second biggest is going lame. I’ve seen many men and women go that route. Good people. Great fighters. Their bodies giving out when they were young… that… idea scares me.” Edelgard found herself wondering when Byleth got so talkative. She took a hint of pride thinking it was only around her.

“And you… what is it that’s scaring you?” Byleth asked, turning her attention to her companion. Edelgard widened her eyes. She had turned it on her somehow. Such a tactician.

“I can see it in your mood. You’ve been quiet, and staring off. Perhaps you’d like to tell me?”

Edelgard nodded, now caught, and tried to organize her thoughts. As they neared the empty library she motioned for them to enter and they took a table in the far corner. She sat Byleth gently, giving her a chance to rest, then sat across from her wondering how to approach the topic as the whirlwind of emotions and what-ifs played through her head. Byleth didn’t rush her, just sat waiting, offering her empathetic look. She finally took a breath.

“Byleth… are you considering the offer to become a Knight of Seiros?” She asked, very seriously. Byleth looked at her with a slight tilt to her head.

“No, I wasn’t. I’d rather continue being a professor, but you heard that.”

“What if they don’t allow it?” She asked seriously. “What if they deem you are not ready?”

“I will be.” She answered with a shrug, and it would almost infuriate Edelgard if anyone else were to answer so casually, but she’d come to understand that Byleth was just Byleth. If she thought she’d be ready… she would be.

“And after? You’re not interested in becoming a knight? In following in your parents footsteps?”

“No, not particularly. Does the idea… bother you that much?” Byleth was looking for the connection to Edelgard that she wasn’t giving… _Should she tell her?_

“Yes… I suppose it does.” She knew the coming question and felt a spike at finally telling her. Byleth reached across the table and offered her hand, sensing the momentum of the moment, and Edelgard took it in her own.

“Why is that Edelgard?” Her voice was soft, wanting to understand.

“There you two are.” Came an interruptive voice.

**********************************************

Seteth was coming in from the door. He always seemed to show up when they were alone. Byleth was starting to wonder if it was more than coincidence, given what Rhea had told her the day prior. But, she still felt no guilt at being seen with Edelgard, especially when they were recovering together.

“Hello Seteth. What brings you here? Shouldn’t you be lecturing with the Eagles?” She had been going for playful with her tone, but it came out decidedly neutral. Maybe she was… jealous? That’d be a new one.

“Yes, well they are sparring with professor Hanneman’s class and the knights today at the training grounds, and Lady Rhea requested I instead find and invite you to her quarters.” Byleth blinked, surprised, and felt Edelgard’s hand tighten on hers. Maybe she wasn’t the only one that was jealous, though based on what they’d been discussing she felt it went deeper than that.

“Certainly. What’s this about?”

“She didn’t say. Will you need assistance ascending to the third floor?” Byleth shook her head, figuring this was as good a challenge as any.

“Excellent. Then in that case, Manuela also asked a favor of me, I am to help move Lady Edelgard back into her dorm. You are officially discharged.”

Byleth felt a thin stab of panic, but she reminded herself, this was a good thing. The first sign of really healing. She nodded to Seteth and rose from the table, offering an attempt at a sincere smile to her student, giving her palm one more reassuring pat.

_‘We’ll have to finish this later.’_

_‘Will you be ok?’_

She could sense Edelgard’s reluctance to leave her and it brought a warmth to her senses. The feeling was mutual, so she needed to offer the logical response. She needed to support her, not weaken her.

_‘Don’t worry about me.’_

_‘…’_

_‘You need to heal too.’_

She nodded, and they parted ways, sharing one last secret look.

_‘I’ll see you tonight.’_

_‘I’m looking forward to it… my teacher.’_

Byleth moved toward the stairs with a slight blush she’d hope she could kick before her meeting with Rhea, but the smile she was sure would stay. _I’m looking forward to it too._

As she arrived to the third floor her legs started to feel the strain, nothing major, but this was indeed the most she had moved in days. Sore was good. Her dad would say the strain was weakness leaving the body, and she had no desire to feel weak any longer than was necessary.

She moved through the floor to find a cross corridor in the hallway with a closed door on one side and the other leading to an outdoor balcony.

“Are you looking for Lady Rhea?”

She turned over her shoulder to see Cyril. She’d spoken maybe 10 words to the boy since her time at the Monastery.

“She’s out on the balcony. She’s waiting for you.” She nodded her thanks and headed to the outdoor area. The garden really was beautiful, and she took in the flowers and sweet spring air for just a moment before she heard the Archbishop.

“Professor, I’m so glad you were able to join me.”

She beamed from a small table made for two with a pot and two cups.

“I thought we may take tea together.” She motioned to the empty chair and Byleth worked her way over, a bit of a limp forming as she sat. “I wasn’t sure how you took your tea, so I picked one of my favorites. Crescent Moon blend.”

Well this counted as trying a new one. She could give El the full review later. She thanked her and took the cup with a sip. Not bad… it tasted like how soap smelled.

Rhea smiled and they sipped in silence for a bit. Byleth noticed her demeanor seemed much calmer than in recent memory. More like when she’d first met the grand figure. Her aura was warm, respectful, and encompassing. She could see why she was in such a position of power. It suited her.

“How are you feeling, my child? Truly?”

“Good. Starting to finally feel recovered.”

“I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear that. Losing Jeralt… was a terrible terrible day for me. When I thought we’d lost you as well, I felt lost myself.” Byleth felt genuine sympathy from her words. She hadn’t thought how her disappearance might have effected the Archbishop.

“How did you know my father?” Byleth asked. She’d been curious since coming here, but never managed to wring an answer from Jeralt on the matter.

“He never spoke of me, did he?” She shook her head no. “That does sound like him. Well let’s remedy that. Jeralt was a fighter in a battalion assigned to me many years ago. He was very young when we met, I dare say younger than you are now. Not even a beard on his chin yet.” She smiled fondly at a far off memory. It made Byleth wonder for a moment how old Lady Rhea was.

“We were ambushed, and he dove in front of me, sustaining a blow meant to end my life. It was reckless and wild, and incredibly kind. I knew I couldn’t stand by and let a heart as brave as that perish in front of me, so I did what I could and managed to heal him. After that I appointed him as a knight, and he worked his way up from there.”

Rhea beamed into her cup.

“You know, you remind me so much of him. You look just like your mother, but you have so many of Jeralt’s traits.”

“…I look like my mother?” She asked, a dip in her tone. She’d never known that, and something about it made her heart feel like it was leaking. Was that even possible?

“Yes… the spitting image of her. She was a nun here, taken in as an orphan when she was very young. She spent most of her life here at the monastery, healing, helping, praying. This is where your parents met.” Though her smile stayed, Byleth saw her eyes sadden. These were clearly people she had loved and cared for, and they were gone. All she was left with was… her, and suddenly her attachment made sense.

“I know I’ve put you in many precarious and perhaps unexpected positions, but your parents have always held a special place in my heart, and I knew you would not only meet my expectations, but exceed them.” She turned her smile back toward Byleth, and it felt genuine. She felt something kindred in their shared history.

“Now, Professor, I hope you understand my offer to join the knights is of a similar notion. Your time as an instructor here has been nothing short of a miracle. I think you could do so much more in a position like this, but I will respect your choice.”

Byleth finished her swig of tea and looked thoughtfully at the Archbishop. Rhea and her had always been polite, friendly, more than employer and employee, but in this moment she understood that this offer was her way of wanting to keep her close after almost losing her too.

“I appreciate that, and my answer is unchanged. My choice would be my students first. I apologize if that is not the answer you’d hoped for.” She thought of her Black Eagles. Of the classroom. If she was being honest with herself, she could care less about the church’s mission. She cared about the young lives that had warmed her frozen heart. And honestly, the church had put them in more than one dangerous situation, that in her mind could have been avoided. She didn’t understand all their methods, nor would she pretend to, but she knew there was some good behind all of that for this place. She’d seen how it had impacted the lives of softer souls like Mercedes and Marianne. How it had given opportunities to young commoners like Raphael and Leonie. How it had given people second chapters like Dorothea and Manuela. And she appreciated her time here, but… in her mind there was only one logical path for her to follow…

Rhea stared past her for awhile, perhaps sensing the true nature of her decision, and there it was again… that little prying glint in her eyes that was trying to see right through her. If she had anything to hide she might writhe at that look, but instead she felt nothing. This was her choice, and she smiled internally at that. She’d have to tell El.

“No need to apologize, you have done everything asked of you and your students are very lucky to have you. May I offer one last piece of advice?”

Byleth nodded, but the feeling she got in the pit of her stomach warned it would be of a similar topic to their prior conversation.

“Your students look up to you. And not just the ones in your house alone. You have an impressive influence over them, as well as your fellow instructors. Even the knights here. They all respect you, and with that power there are certain expectations and burdens that come with that. And certain conduct that is expected.”

“And you think I spend too much time with Edelgard…” Byleth tried to cut to the point. She never liked being anything but direct, and if Rhea was trying to insinuate that her time around Edelgard was hurting her reputation with her other students…

“I am saying that you must find a way to balance your time my dear. There’s nothing wrong with you and her being close, I am merely recommending healthy boundaries.”

Byleth could see some merit to what she was saying… she still didn’t agree with it. She nodded, sensing an action was required on her part and finished the last sip of her tea. She rose politely and excused herself to rest. Rhea gave her a respectful bow as she left, and thanked her for her time. As she descended the stairs she had a mischievous smirk on her lips, wondering how the Archbishop would react if she told her she was going on a date with the Emperor in question that night.

**********************************************

Edelgard had moved her box of books and spare clothes back to her dorm with an awkwardly stiff Seteth offering assistance. They didn’t exchange a single word, and honestly she was fine with that. He coughed awkwardly when they were done and bowed from her doorway before leaving all together. It was still only mid-afternoon and she wasn’t sure how long it would be before Byleth was freed up from whatever Rhea had demanded her for. The thought made her uncomfortable. What if she was still trying to pressure her into joining? What if when Edelgard left she forced her into it? What if other students stayed on and convinced Byleth to as well? A million questions, none with satisfying answers available, raced through her head. So she instead went about her room searching for distractions.

She briefly dusted, checked on her contents being in order, and eventually sifted through her books from Manuela. She had promised that she could practice white magic with Byleth as her test dummy, which had gotten a chuckle out of her indigo-haired companion. She thought about the sound of her laughter…

She propped up with one of the books on her bed and read long enough to notice the light in her window dimming. She considered lighting a candle... then woke up with said book lying on her face. She hadn’t realized she’d fallen asleep. She rose and stretched her arms over her head, laughing internally. She noted her page number and stowed away a few questions related to fundamental use for Manuela tomorrow. She unpacked the rest of the books, stacking them in the corner and wondering if she should change before Byleth came. She almost missed the white envelope fluttering out from its space tucked in the cover. She recognized it as the letter Dimitri had written her. He had seemed awfully keen on her reading it, and she wondered what had upset the future king so. He certainly didn’t look his confident and strong self the night prior.

As she opened the letter she remembered she should be expecting one from Hubert around this time. She had written letting him know her tentative travel plans, and asking for any and all updates he could spare of the Empire’s condition. She was surprised she hadn’t heard from him yet, but she presumed that the messengers were either held up or Hubert himself was with all the work he must be handling alone.

She opened the letter from Dimitri and found it… powerfully suggestive.

_El,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. When you left months ago we all assumed it was to return to the Empire and start your reign. None of us could have imagined that the same fate that had befallen the Professor had extended to you as well. It was truly devastating to hear of your fathers death, and your presumed perishing so close together. Your return is nothing short of a triumph, and testament to the strength you’ve always carried._

_When you disappeared I asked Rodrigue and Gilbert for any information they could offer, and they instead revealed some secrets of their own that I had in no way been prepared for. When you are feeling well enough to talk… I have some information I think you deserve to hear, related to our shared family. It is… startling to say the least._

_-Dimitri_

So many things… What information about their families could he be seeking? What had he found? Was it about her? Why had he called her El?! The questions sent chills down her spine like razorblades.

A knock at her door roused her from her thoughts, and she placed the letter on her desk and retrieved her dagger from under her pillow on instinct as she moved to answer the door.

When she opened the door she saw Byleth… smiling with her hands in her pockets. Manuela had evidently retrieved her some fresh clothes, beyond the white scrubs she’d been wearing. Instead she wore a pair of dark tight-fitting trousers with a slash over one leg that had been noticeably patched and a sleeveless top with a similar cutout around her collarbones to her old armor. She was… stunning in such a simple way, and it amazed Edelgard how little it took for her to steal her breath. Her cheek still wore the two scar lines from Kronya’s dagger. The ruts above and through her eyes had faded but were still there. A small notch was missing from her ear and a slight crook to the bridge of her nose that hadn’t been before. And somehow, none of that took away from her beauty.

She realized too late she was staring and shook her head, a fresh blush forming. Byleth had only crooked her head in that unfairly endearing tic of hers, and noticed the dagger Edelgard was holding.

“That’s not for me, is it?” She asked playfully.

“No, nothing like that. My apologies. Let me change and we can go.”

“Why? You already look great.” Those words could have sounded insincere from anyone else, but Byleth had a way of saying things so blatantly honest and sweet. What response could she offer? So she rested her dagger on her nightstand behind the door and stepped into the corridor. She noticed how dark it had gotten, all the lanterns having been lit in the hallway.

Byleth merely smiled and her eyes glanced over her.

“Hi El.” Her heart sprung forward in her chest, she hadn’t realized how long it’d been since she’d called her that. It was nice… “You ready for our date?”

Edelgard nodded happily, her cheeks still rather red. Byleth offered her arm and Edelgard looped hers through, similar to how they had walked all morning, but it felt different now. The intent was no longer simply staying on her feet, it was to be close. As they moved toward the stairs, everything officially felt different. And her heart beat like a hummingbird in her chest at the change.

They arrived in the mess hall to see the lights dimmed and the space empty. Dinner had been hours ago, and walking in Edelgard felt her stomach rumble. She didn’t realize how hungry she was. Byleth noticed, which was mortifying, but she only smiled slightly wider.

“I was thinking, I could cook for you?” Byleth offered. Edelgard had tried her cooking on long missions when she’d stepped up and helped feed the troops. But this felt special.

“May I help my teacher?” Byleth smiled and nodded. She released her looped arm to cast a quick flame spell to the lanterns above, giving the room overhead lighting, and then one toward the stove top. She walked over to the counter and smiled when she retrieved two bags. She moved over toward the heated stove and nodded for Edelgard to follow her. She started unpacking one of the bags, and Edelgard the other as they laid out what she assumed were the meals supplies.

“Where did all this come from professor?”

“I gave Dorothea some money earlier and asked her to have these bags waiting for tonight.” Edelgard felt her blush grow.

“You told her we were going on a date?”

“No, but I told her it was important. She probably presumed though… oh and for dessert!” Byleth smiled and pulled out two wrapped plates that had been stacked in the bottom of the bag. “I asked her to pick up those sweets Annette and Mercedes had offered to make us. I’m not very good at baking, but these two are phenomenal from what I hear.” Edelgard felt her content smile grow.

Byleth surveyed everything on the tables and looked proud, nodding pleased.

“Is this ok?” She asked.

“This is lovely Byleth. Perfect even.” She smiled, and saw the first blush of the evening creep onto Byleth’s cheeks. It was a relief knowing she wasn’t the only one going through first date jitters.

Byleth started grouping the food together by dish. She had fish with seasonings and lemons, some potatoes and oil, and an assortment of greens. She asked Edelgard to prep the potatoes and veggies by cutting them into slivers, as she took to breaking down the fish. She grabbed an apron from the cooks corner and draped it around her front, which stuck Edelgard as incredibly adorable, before she noticed that she was coming closer to wrap another one around Edelgard herself. She flushed as Byleth leaned around her to tie the strings at her back. She gave Edelgard a pleased hmm once she was covered and returned to her cutting board. There was no hesitation as she picked up her blade and started disassembling the fish. Edelgard was mesmerized for a moment before she remembered she had a task of her own and moved to start attempting to slice a series of vegetable into slivers. She looked tentatively at the knife and tried to line up the potatoes. She gingerly rested the knife over the outer skin and see-sawed the blade through the hearty spud. Her first slice was far from even, and had not come off clean. She scowled slightly and tried another one. Similar outcome, not quite the disc she was going for. This was proving more of a challenge than the Emperor thought it should. She looked over to Byleth for a moment and found that her date had forgone her own prep work, and was now instead leaning back against the counter, watching Edelgard with open amusement.

“What?” Edelgard asked, clearly flustered. Byleth only smiled and shook her head.

“You’ve never had to cut potatoes before have you?” Edelgard wanted to be annoyed and her expression quickly was, but it was true, and she was doing a rather poor job of convincing her otherwise. She sighed instead.

“No, my teacher, I have not. But in my defense I have plenty of other skills besides knife dicing. In fact, if I could use my axe I’m sure this would go much smoother.”

“Reaalllyyyyyy?” Byleth couldn’t seem to help but playfully roll her response out and Edelgard fiercely nodded to guard what little dignity she had left.

“Care to prove it?”

TWACK!

Edelgard’s axe swing came down into the cutting board, sending potatoes flying in all directions as haphazard projectiles, and knocking many of the greens off the table all together. The blade had now become stuck in the wooden board, and as Edelgard tried to free it she found she simply could not shake it loose. She looked frustratedly to Byleth, who was standing to her side, covering her mouth and trying to hide the fit of giggles that were attempting to break through. Edelgard wanted to be offended but she quickly realized the absurdity of it and they both were leaning in and laughing loudly, freely, and without a care in the world.

Byleth took over the rest of the prep work and helped Edelgard rinse the greens and practice her knife cuts, always the teacher, then showed her some of the different seasonings they had for the night. She let her sample them and pick how much they should add to the fish fillets as they cooked over the fire.

When they were done Byleth served up two steaming plates that smelled heavenly and they settled into a table, sitting side by side as opposed to across from each other. They set the two trays of sweets as well, Byleth smiling and commenting that they could have dinner and dessert together. Edelgard did start with a sweet, and was delighted at the choice.

They ate in relative comfortable silence, Edelgard asking her how she learned to cook and Byleth asking what kind of sweets they were eating. She had never had a blueberry scone as it turned out, but she seemed to enjoy them, finishing half the plate. The meal was lovely, and somehow tasted even better because Byleth had made it for her. She couldn’t seem to stop smiling. Not that she wanted to, she was just unaccustomed to being unable to hide any part of her feelings. How did Byleth disarm her like this?

She felt a hand settle on top of her own, and was almost startled at the contact. It was nothing new for them, but the context felt… different.

She looked up to meet those cobalt eyes, shining brighter and brighter in this moment and she saw her smile mirrored back at her. She wasn’t sure she’d ever felt this… content. Like none of the countless worries that weighed on her chest could touch her. It was just her and Byleth.

The latter of which had started leaning closer. She blushed slightly, and Byleth planted a quick kiss on her cheek. When she pulled back she saw the faint blush returning to her face. She looked happier than Edelgard could remember seeing her, and took pride knowing she had a piece in that happiness.

Then... Byleth’s face changed completely. Her eyes bore past Edelgard, hyper focused, and her smile giving way. Her hand tightened on her.

“Byleth?” She asked, concerned by the sudden shift.

“It’s here...” Her voice was grim.

“The specter?” She asked and Byleth swallowed once then nodded, her gaze still on the same spot. Threatening, protective, and a tad scared.

Edelgard reached down for her knife on the table and turned to face it. There, she saw… nothing.

Nothing.

“Byleth... where do you see the Specter?” She asked cautiously.

“Right there. In the middle of the room... you don’t see it?”

“No my teacher, I don’t.” She tried, slowly. Keeping her voice level.

“But...”

“Describe it to me, what does it look like?”

“Me. It looks like me, but grey. It has my hair and my eyes... my old coat.”

“What else?”

“A sword. She’s carrying my sword. She’s moving toward us.”

Byleth stood and moved between Edelgard and the invisible threat.

“You. She’s moving toward you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know... I don’t... want her to hurt you.”

There’s still nothing that Edelgard can see, but she feels Byleth going rigid as a board. She’s tense. She’s scared. Whatever she’s seeing may not be real but the way it’s effecting her is, and that’s what matters.

“I’ve told you about phantoms?” Byleth nodded without tearing away her gaze. “Tell me this... does she have a shadow?”

Byleth’s body quivered for a second.

“No... there’s no shadow.”

“Then it’s not here my teacher. If the light can’t touch her... she’s not in the room.” She softened her voice.

“I think... I think It’s the Ashen Demon.” Byleth finally said. That surprised Edelgard, but made sense. She had opened up about her past, and now it was coming to haunt her.

“Maybe if you’re seeing her that means she’s dead.”

“Maybe it means she’s trying to come back.”

Edelgard decided to do something, she moved around to stand in front of Byleth and set her knife down on the table. She put both hands on her cheeks and tilted her head slightly toward her.

“Where is it now?” She kept her voice level, calm.

“Three chairs away. She’s raising her sword...”

“She’s coming toward me?”

Byleth nodded and her face showed distress.

“Now what?”

“She’s ready to strike.” Byleth looked defensive, trying to put herself between them, trying to pull Edelgard back behind her, but Edelgard wouldn’t budge, looking her deep in the eye and waiting one second. Two. Three.

“And now what my teacher?”

Byleth stared past her. She blinked, almost in surprise and tilted her head side to side, looking.

“Now she’s gone...” Her shoulders began to release their unbearable tension. She sighed and leaned her head forward. “She’s gone.” Edelgard was quick to pull her into an embrace.

“She is... she’s gone. It’s just us.” Byleth returned the gesture, and held her tight, burying her face into Edelgard’s shoulder. They stayed this way for awhile, Edelgard happy to offer her warmth as a way of consoling. She knew all too well how phantoms of the past could torment. Most of hers only came at night, but for Byleth she was sure this was uncharted territory. And she would do everything she could to help her traverse it.

“You know if she ever does come back, it’s not necessarily a bad thing my teacher.” She made her voice soft, and her lips ghosted over the soft cartilage of her ear. Byleth shivered at the touch and thought a moment.

“I don’t know if I agree with that.” Byleth finally spoke, her typical easy confidence sounding strangled. “That piece of me… is dangerous.”

“That’s just it Byleth…” She turned slightly, catching sight of the ends of her hair and corner of her eyes. “You can have multiple pieces, you can have different sides. You already do, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” She paused before adding… “I am the same.” Byleth’s eyes widened then closed and she turned back into Edelgard’s shoulder, nodding softly against the skin.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice is muffled against her shoulder. “This probably counts as a lousy date.”

Edelgard breathed a chuckle and pulled back to rest a hand on Byleth’s cheek, demanding her full attention.

“Nonsense Byleth. I had a lovely time.”

“You don’t have to say that...” She looked bashfully toward the ground.

“I never say things I don’t mean. Especially to you.” Edelgard said confidently. “In fact, I would grant a second date... anytime.” She smiled and leaned in to plant a quick peck at the corner of Byleth’s lip. Her blue eyes lit up and she gently took her hand from her cheek in her own, smiling smally, and rolled the fingers between her grasp.

“Tomorrow?” She asked, planting a quick peck of her own to the gloved knuckles. The intimate air from earlier in the evening slipping back between them.

“Tomorrow it is.”

**********************************************

Byleth slept like shit.

She missed waking up in the middle of the night and seeing Edelgard across from her, but something about that miss had solidified a feeling in her heart. That feeling was new and worth holding onto, and though she didn’t sleep much there was someone she cared about enough to miss them when they were out of the room. Not just because they could be in danger, but because she genuinely wanted to be near them.

She stretched out of bed and slowly took stock of her bodies signals as Manuela came in.

“Someone’s looking cheerful. Like shit, but cheerful. I take it, the date went well?” Manuela had a smile that was all too knowing. Byleth smiled back unashamed and nodded.

“Got a second one.”

“Well way to go Casanova. Now, why the bags under the eyes? Couldn’t sleep?” Byleth couldn’t hide anything from her could she? She shook her head.

“Felt weird… sleeping in a room with an empty bed.” She thought out loud without trying to make sense of it. Manuela seemed to respect the answer anyway.

“Well, if you’re recovering enough to go up and down stairs on your own there’s really no reason I can’t have you return to your room as well. Let’s see how today goes.”

Byleth nodded. Sounded like a solid enough plan, and maybe a familiar place would help her sleep better even if the familiar person wasn’t there.

Manuela studied her injuries in depth. The stitches above her eye had already come out, as had the ones in her back. Her left hand had closed up, and her eyes were starting to feel like hers again. She had enough connected vision to read. The Thoron wound was the worst, still with the skin dark red and crimson. The skin looked horribly burned around that half of her hip, and she didn’t love seeing it, but the amount it bothered her wasn’t enough to keep her down. Edelgard came in while they were finishing up and Byleth smiled the second they met each others eyes. Manuela noticed and couldn’t help but shake her head.

“Perfect timing, come lend us a hand.” Edelgard nodded and appeared to their side. She studied the wound in a clinical fashion, but Byleth saw her eyes crease in regret looking at it.

“Now, try channeling on your own, see if you can help the skin heal.” Manuela instructed. Edelgard nodded the way she did when she had a task, and Byleth saw the white magic hum around the edge of her gloved hand. Her student really was something. She felt the magic against her body and it was tentative, gentle, and precise. Very different than Manuela’s energy, and she watched some of the burns level out and the skin heal closer to a pale, tan complexion instead of the damaged red it had been. When El pulled away it was only a small patch that had been effected but it looked like a complete success. Byleth beamed at her, as did Manuela, and she almost looked embarrassed.

“Well look at that, we’ve got a natural here. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen you not excel at anything.”

Byleth flashed a playful smile meant only for Edelgard.

_‘Should we tell her about you cutting potatoes?’_

_‘Oh hush.’_

Manuela set out a strict schedule for the next few days. Scheduled times to check in with her and for resting. She was not permitted at the training grounds until Manuela told her otherwise. The rest of the monastery was fine, but don’t be a ‘dumb dumb’ she had warned. Even meals were set.

“Breakfast here so we can check your vitals each morning, lunch in the dining hall, dinner is up to you.” She winked at that, pulling another blush from Edelgard who pretended not to notice.

Finally she had her go up and down the stairs several times unassisted to prove she was able to handle it. She felt the slightest snag in her muscles, but a good snag. It felt like finally healing.

The physician looked pleased enough and gave her the seal of approval for the day.

“Come back by the office later and we’ll see how well you’ve followed my instructions. But if all is well, back to your dorm.”

Byleth nodded and offered her arm to Edelgard who took it, though she stared very intently at the ground instead of at Manuela’s accusing glance. Byleth didn’t mind, she happily lead her out to her favorite spot.

Byleth had requested a tea tray to be ready, and she saw a kettle, a snack, and one cup for them to share. Edelgard grinned as they took their seat, and produced a fresh set of leaves for their tea-trying adventure.

“This is a simple mint blend. I thought we’d start with something timeless.” Byleth nodded and they steeped the beverage as they shared the cookie, smiling easily as the morning air blew around them.

They sipped the blend in a comfortable silence, passing the single cup back and forth. Byleth tried to decide where this ranked on her tea charts, but it was unfortunately rather low. She told Edelgard about how her father used to always brew her mint when she was sick so this flavor brought up many memories of fevers and phlegm, which got a laugh out of the young Emperor.

“Well it sounds like we are enjoying ourselves.” Rhea appeared around the shrubs. Byleth didn’t think she’d ever seen her walking the grounds alone or without ceremony.

“Lady Rhea, what a pleasant surprise.” Though the way El said it didn’t sound too pleasant to Byleth’s trained ears. “What brings you by?”

“Just getting some fresh air. We have a ceremony with the cardinals later, and I admit it can get rather stuffy in that room. What are you brewing?”

“Mint.” Byleth answered, trying to stay blasé. She realized also too late that they only had the one cup, probably giving away their familiarness to Rhea.

“You didn’t strike me as a mint person professor. We shared tea like this the other day. I believe she rather enjoyed the Crescent Moon blend.” She’d turned to Edelgard to address that last part, which Byleth found strange. She was still sitting right here.

“Yes that does sound lovely. We usually enjoy a cup of Bergamont, but Crescent Moon must be nice when you’re craving something less strong.”

Byleth couldn’t understand why they sounded so tense over teas, but also got the idea that this wasn’t about tea anymore… she felt weird having them talk about her like she wasn’t sitting right in front of them, but their gazes were some combination of polite and brutal.

“Well, I hope you two enjoy your… cup of tea.” She definitely noticed the single cup. “Professor, do think about what we discussed yesterday. I would like to know if my instructors can follow instructions themselves.” She said it all with a plastered on smile, and Byleth understood the implication. Not great. Edelgard seemed to catch on as well.

“Byleth, what was that about?” She asked when the Archbishop had gone. Byleth sighed and rubbed her neck.

“She asked me to spend less time with you, she thinks it comes across as favoritism.

“Well that’s preposterous.” Edelgard was quick to dismiss it. Byleth shrugged.

“It’s true, you are my favorite.” Edelgard blushed profusely, but Byleth couldn’t even enjoy it. There was too much going on to sort out. “But she’s making it sound like… she wouldn’t like me to have you as a favorite if I’m going to be a professor.”

Edelgard nodded slowly.

“Well then, for now… let’s cancel our date.” Byleth turned quickly to her and must have given away her pout. Edelgard looked immediately sympathetic and rested her hand on hers over the table.

“I don’t want to get in the way of you returning to teaching. And she’s making it sound like she may use this to influence your chances as a professor. I can’t let them take that from you. Especially with them propositioning you to join the knights.” _Oh right._ That opened a box she had left closed, and suddenly it was all she could focus on.

“Why… do you hate the idea of me becoming a knight so much?”

There was a long pause, and Edelgard’s hand tightened over Byleth’s. She stared at the table, considering something painful or unknown.

“El…” She tried.

“Because… the war I told you that I would start… would be against the church of Serios.” She sounded resolute but strained all at once. _The war…_

Byleth’s expression stayed neutral, but her insides suddenly awful. Like a boot pressing down heavily, squeezing out her air and understanding. It made sense, and she felt almost like a fool for not seeing it coming. The Flame Emperor’s attacks. The crest system. It was all so clear, and for all the things she’d been able to realize, she couldn’t believe she had been so oblivious. Her confession left her feeling like she was falling from a wyvern.

“I… I have many questions... but I think...” Byleth’s mind was reeling. “Could I take some time before I ask them?”

“Of course my teacher...” She looked small and wounded. Byleth rose, her mind still scrambling for an acceptable response.

“Can I ask one now?” She nodded. “Are you still planning to?” Her question hung in the air longer than expected, almost answering itself.

“If I was... would you stand by me, as you said before...?” She asked softly. But Byleth could sense the walls she was placing between them... she knew this was a big moment, and if she had only had a moment to decide she knew what her answer would be. So she leaned back down and put both hands over one of Edelgard’s. They met eyes and she wanted her to see her fierce devotion.

“Of course... I promised.” She assured. “And I’d never break a promise to you.”

The day had gone slow without El around. When everyone was at lunch she waltzed over to the classrooms and felt a familiar ping at seeing the Black Eagles flag hanging. She went down by the market and pet a few of the strays. She bought some food for young kids she saw running about, she headed to the stables, she did everything she could to avoid people who would want anything of her, still processing the days events. She eventually set up on a bench well hidden by the Cathedral. She looked up at the massive building. _A war against the church…_

She had seen the stretch of its power and abuse of its influence. She knew they rewrote and censored historical material to keep peoples opinions in place. She knew they promoted and sustained the crest system that had tormented Edelgard so. Things did need to change. _Was war the only way?_ She just couldn’t believe that Edelgard had been planning to do something so massive on her own. Her alliance with such powerful and shadowed allies made a scary amount of sense. She felt the need to talk to her, to go find her and give her a chance to explain, but Rhea had made it very clear that they were supposed to see less of each other. And Edelgard had insisted if it was going to interfere with her chances to get her job back they should acquiesce. Byleth didn’t like that either. She was leaving soon, there wasn’t time to waste like this. Slow was one thing… detached was another.

She sighed as all these thoughts crashed over her, and she felt the first raincloud over head drizzle. It was a long walk back to her dorm.

She was soaked to the bone in the downpour as she finally saw her familiar door. She’d forgotten to check in with Manuela, and was sure she’d hear a lecture on the consequences she’d suffer for it in the morning, but right now she wanted to rest and throw on some dry clothes. As she pushed open the old wooden door she was stunned by a flash of movement and- the specter.

It shocked her seeing it in the small space, and she’d have missed it if not for the piercing blue eyes glowing in the dark room. Only, it looked different… The specter til now had been refined, precise, mechanical almost. This version… looked like her, but was hunched and its skin seemed to be throbbing in the unlit space. It moved toward her. She stood her ground. She was too tired to deal with this right now. She looked for its shadow, though it was so damn hard to see in the unlit room. She looked for details, but same issue. She tried to think it away, and as it inched closer and raised it’s arm-

_“Don’t go near it…”_

The voice popped into her head, catching her almost as off guard as the phantom moving toward her.

Was that… Sothis?

The shadow lunged forward, dagger in hand and Byleth retreated a step, but not far enough. She felt the blade slice clean through her forearm, and she stumbled, surprised more than anything, back out of the room and to the ground, catching herself on her palms and kicking the door shut. She crawled backward into the rain, and stared at the door waiting for it to come charging out after her. But it didn’t. She chided herself, of course the specter couldn’t open doors, it wasn’t real. _Or was it?_ She held up her bloodied arm, testing that theory. The gash was deep and stung in the rain. It cut her… the specter had cut her. _Could it always do that?_

“Sothis?” She called out, but was met with silence besides the fall of rain around her. Her nerves were on edge. What should she do?

She thought of running back to the infirmary, or of sitting here in the rain and just accepting it… but that was the weak thing to do. She had beaten this thing before, she could do it again. She took a breath and rose to her feet, rolling her shoulders back and trying to prepare herself. She wanted to heal and be done with this, so she wouldn’t run away, she’d run toward it. She grabbed the handle, took one more breath and threw the door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright we got some shit going down now! So many things, so many.  
> But I’m really tired so why don’t you just interpret the things and tell me what you think and we’ll chat soon :)
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading <3


	4. Speeding Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week before Edelgard leaves and Byleth has her trials  
> They make unexpected connections  
> And there are unexpected outcomes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp I’ve shot the word count once more guys.  
> I really try and tell a moderate length chapter but this one broke the record at 12k.  
> *sigh* but I thought it all belonged and added to their growing relationships and plots so here we are. I know I complain about it a lot but geez guys, by the time the chapters done how does one even remember how it started??
> 
> I also noticed while editing this one is a lot of Edelgard’s perspective. But I think she has the most to tell with her departure being on the forefront, I had to get her time with a lot of these characters, and yeah the back half is hella fluffy, but sue me.
> 
> Anywho, I think that’s all I got for now. We’ll talk at the end :)

**Part 4 - After Stockholm**

Edelgard walked to the infirmary first thing in the morning, only to find it empty. No Byleth, no Manuela. She thought it strange, they wouldn’t have started anything this early. She knew she should be avoiding her, but was hoping to use the excuse of learning faith magic as reason enough they could spend time together. At least long enough to talk about yesterday… She had spilled one of her biggest secrets, and Byleth deserved a chance to ask or accuse or yell or scold. She had once said she’d stand by her no matter the odds or her crimes, and perhaps that was true. But it was scary, to get her hopes up and have _her_ of all people dash them.

The only other place she could think to check was Byleth’s dorm. The search didn’t take long. Across the dew coated grass she saw a figure sitting on the end of the ledge by the corner room. She smiled on reflex when she saw her, even with the shift in their dynamic. But it pulled to a concerned frown as she came closer. Saw the way she hunched, clutching one arm against her chest and staring at the ground in deep thought. Distressed. She picked up her pace until she arrived at her side, crouching at the edge of her vision.

“Byleth… are you alright? What’s happened?”

She turned, startled at the sound of her voice and her sudden proximity. Another strange sign, it wasn’t like her to not notice someone approaching. Her face went through several subtle expression shifts, before ultimately settling back to blank with a soft smile.

“Hi.” Was all she finally said. _Yeah, something’s definitely wrong._ She was still clutching her arm against her, almost unconsciously. Edelgard tried changing tactics when the silence persisted.

“How long have you been out here my teacher?” She noticed that her clothes were sticking to her, matted as if by rain and her hair hanging damp on some areas while drying in frizzy strands. She didn’t look like she’d slept at all.

“Most of the night.” She stared at her door intently, expression deeply contemplative. “Do you think... you could help me with something?”

“Anything.” She was quick to answer. She worried that her current state may have something to do with her confession last night, and felt guilt blooming.

“Can you… heal this?” She held out her arm, revealing a deep slice with dried blood trickled along most of her forearm.

“I- What happened? Who did this to you?” Surprised, and instantly protective. Byleth simply shook her head.

“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s important, but I didn’t make it to Manuela’s last night. If I show up with this… she’ll be upset.”

She didn’t like the idea of hiding something that was paining Byleth, and she really didn’t like that she wouldn’t tell her what had happened. But trust went both ways, so she was deciding to trust her in hopes she could trust her back.

“I can try. But why don’t we move into your dorm? You look like you could use a change of clothes.” Byleth looked back at the door hesitantly.

“Just… stay behind me until I tell you it’s safe.” She rose without offering an explanation, and opened the door as if she expected something to be on the other side. She stood in the doorway, turning and inspecting the whole room before sighing and nodding that the coast was clear. Clear of what, she still didn’t know.

They entered together and Byleth went to her trunk, pulling out two shirts and a pair of slacks. She stripped her current wet top with a shiver and grabbed one of the clean shirts to wipe the blood and rainwater still sticking to her.

“Here, sit.” Edelgard took her shoulders, which were freezing, and felt the need to direct her. Byleth compliantly settled on the edge of her bed.

“Hold up your arm for me.” She spoke calmly and her forearm went limp for inspection. It looked like she had been attacked, and had held her arm up in defense. She didn’t like that idea. _Who would attack Byleth?_

She tapped down on that feeling, and focused instead on the white energy and the wound. It slowly hummed from her hand and started to grow over the damaged skin. She had never healed something this size, but she figured whatever she could offer was better than nothing. And it sounded like she wouldn’t go to Manuela for help with this. They sat in a few moments of silence before Edelgard thought to test her luck again.

“Do you want to tell me how this happened?”

Byleth watched passively as the injury closed in on itself.

“I guess… I gave it to myself.”

“How did you manage that professor?”

“Not sure. I thought I saw…” She trailed off, looking disheartened and embarrassed. Before she could respond further the door slammed open.

Manuela stormed in, a serious expression on her face, hands on her hips. She took in the current scene of the shirtless Byleth on the bed with Edelgard standing over her, hands holding onto exposed skin. She stared fiercely a moment longer, before her scowl turned to a suggestive grin.

“Guess the date went well?”

Edelgard’s blush was instant. Ready to deny any such behavior, but Byleth was quicker.

“Yup.” Was her simple response.

Edelgard’s eyes went wide, and her blush burned worse than any flame spell she could remember. Manuela looked… proud at the implication.

“Could you give us a minute?” Byleth asked as a follow up.

“Alright, but I expect to see you immediately after breakfast. And, I should tell you… Rhea came by this morning. Don’t know how thrilled she’d be to find you… indisposed, so you may want to wrap up whatever this is.”

She left after that and Edelgard turned to Byleth with an incredulous set of eyes.

“Care to explain?”

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t let her see this…”

Edelgard was still struggling to understand what had upset her so... but Rhea was already looking for them. And Manuela was right, her being found in her bedroom of all places was sure to break the back. If she was going to be apart from Byleth… she didn’t want the last thing they discussed to be her pressuring a confession out of her. So she sighed and tried patience once more.

“Tell me of it when you’re ready… I think it’s just about healed.” The last of the skin was closing up. Byleth nodded with a far off glance, and Edelgard couldn’t help herself. She put her hand to her cheek and directed her attention to her… and those cobalt blues lit up as they met lilac. As they always did.

“But _do_ try to take care of yourself? You know I worry.”

Byleth’s expression turned to a thin smile, an ease seeping across her features as she relaxed inch by inch. She nodded and nuzzled slightly into Edelgard’s hand. It brought a smile to her lips too.

“I would, by the way.” Byleth blurted as the moment was coming to an end. Edelgard knew immediately she was referencing their last conversation. Her smile rounded into something hopeful.

“You would, would you?”

Byleth nodded with purpose.

“I meant what I said. Had plenty of time last night to think of alternatives… none of them make any sense. Not without you.” Edelgard wanted to dive into this moment. To shut the door on the world around them and stay here in this space that was there’s. But time wasn’t with them. It never seemed to be. So instead she quickly pressed her forehead to hers, in their everlasting sign of affection.

“Thank you my teacher… I am… so happy to hear you say that.” She was. It was a light in a tumultuous sea, giving guidance. Direction. “You have no idea what your support means to me.”

“I think I have an inkling.” She responded, a slight edge of mirth to her tone.

When she pulled back to look at her again she heard the bell signal the beginning of breakfast. They had to go. There would be eyes looking for them.

“I’ll follow.” Byleth said, gently lowering Edelgard’s hand from her cheek. She nodded. Them arriving together would be all the red flags Rhea would need. She remembered why she’d originally come to see her in the first place and quickly reached into her pocket, clasping the retrieved parcel into Byleth’s hand.

“For you, my teacher.” It was a single bag of tea leaves. A new blend to try. Perhaps they couldn’t take it together, but they could still make good on their promise to help her find a favorite flavor. A small, more innocent smile stretched along her lips. The kind Edelgard cherished.

She’d hold onto this image, unsure when she’d see the real thing again. If Rhea was going to hold her position over their heads, she would comply. She knew Byleth’s priority was and always would be her students. And she wouldn’t let her own selfish desire be the reason that was taken from her.

**********************************************

Byleth had seen the specter in her dorm the previous night and been slashed by it. She had to accept that as fact as she poked at her freshly healed wound. She’d gone back in to confront it, ready to stand her ground, and of course… it had vanished when she’d opened the door. As had her confidence.

If it was gone, than it was never there… but if it was never there how did it cut her?

She’d frustratedly laid in bed for an hour or so, unable to relax. She saw that animalistic glint in its eyes every time she closed hers. _Was that… how she looked?_

She eventually gave up and went to sit outside. If that thing was going to come back she needed a light source to discern if it had a shadow. But it didn’t return, so instead she sat up all night wondering what this damn specter was and thinking of, well, Edelgard.

As she finally finished changing into dry clothes she started feeling somewhat better. She’d quickly grabbed her archery shirt, a charcoal compression shirt with one long sleeve and the other scooped out by her collarbone. It had been classic training attire, protecting the one arm from any whiplash and from the pressure where the bow rested against the skin. Today it was the perfect cover for her new scar. She threw on some dark pants that flared slightly at the bottom, and had red patches on the knees where she’d tried to fix them. Bernadetta had offered to mend them, and looking at her own shoddy work, she thought she ought to have let her.

She sighed and exited the room. She should head to breakfast, make her rounds, meet with Manuela and Rhea… but she didn’t. Instead she wandered toward the library.

She thought maybe she could find something to read about what she was experiencing. A book would be a better confidant. She was… embarrassed to be dealing with this. She could tell Edelgard about these things… but Rhea was limiting their time together. Why use what little time they had to worry her more than she already was? Could she tell Rhea? Doubtful. She could probably tell Manuela but… she had already had to push for these chances to be out on her own, and this was the first thing that happened. Stabbed by a phantom of the past, as El called it.

She thought she’d been healing, but maybe she couldn’t… maybe she was stuck.

She pondered over this grim possibility as she arrived at the library. She’d never had access to many books. The library had been an exciting boon of being here. She had no idea what she was hoping to find related to her condition, nor where to even start to look, but she felt better... trying. Her eyes had healed enough that she thought she could try reading, and if nothing else maybe it could lull her anxious brain into a short rest. It seemed to work for Linhardt.

Speaking of the green-haired mage, he was currently huddled at one of the tables with an unexpected companion, books stacked up blocking whatever they were discussing.

“Linhardt… Claude…” They both look up at the sudden voice. “Didn’t expect anyone else here this early.” Claude’s eyes lit up as he saw her with a split grin forming on his easy complexion. Linhardt sat back in his chair, arms folded over this chest.

“Well it’s about time you answered my letter.”

“Your…?” Byleth was suddenly confused. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. _Letter… Letter. Oh!_

“You mean that page you’d ripped out of a book and scribbled on.”

“Yes, the same… did you read the page?” She shook her head.

“I couldn’t really… read at the time, sorry. Was it important?”

“On the contrary it was one of the stories of Loog that Ashe adored so. Completely pointless.”

“I was surprised you’d rip a page out of a book to be honest.”

“Exactly. That was the point.” He nodded at the table and she came to sit, curious now what the mage was getting at. Claude had closed whatever book the two of them had been pouring over and now sat with his arms propped under his chin, watching.

“If I sent you a torn page from a forbidden book that would be rather painfully obvious wouldn’t it?”

“Forbidden… book?” She wasn’t following.

“A book the church wouldn’t like us to have.” Claude concluded. _Ahh_. Leave it to this duo to obtain Seteth’s confiscated books. They were in retrospect, quite a dangerous team.

“I just assumed you wanted to ask me about my crest.”

“Yes, precisely.” Linhardt leaned in. “Professor… do you know why you’re able to wield the Sword of the Creator without the crest stone?” His tone had turned serious.

“Because the crest stone is in my chest.” She dropped in her classic deadpan. Claude’s elbow slid off the table and his head jerked back up to look her in the eye for any hint of a lie. Their startled faces were almost comical.

“Well… yes. We had summarized something along those lines, but we didn’t expect you to so readily believe us. Or, to already know.”

“I didn’t. When I was at that place…” She thought of Solon’s desk up in flames, the smoke filling her lungs. “They came to that conclusion. Wanted to… extract it.”

She thought perhaps she was trusting them with too much, but trusting her students was easier than not. Claude’s sparkling eyes dimmed for a moment and she felt genuine sympathy. The students hadn’t asked, and she assumed hadn’t been privy, to the details of what she’d endured. But her Eagles had been there when she was recovered. Word had probably spread.

“And you have no idea how?” Linhardt asked. Byleth thought of her unbeating heart. The crescent scar over her chest. Jeralt’s journal that had gone missing with more clues about her past. She simply shook her head. Those were too many unrelated pieces that could make the wrong picture.

“Not for certain.”

The two boys exchanged a look and Claude eventually slid forward the closed book they’d been looking at.

“Teach... have you ever heard of the Immaculate One?” She shook her head, but opened the book, and folded inside was a sketch. She looked at Claude who nodded and unfolded it, finding a depiction of a… creature. Unlike any she’d ever seen. It looked massive, powerful, like a wyvern but more… everything. More teeth, more scales, more intelligent. It showed multiple angles as if the sketch had been a study.

“Supposedly it was a creature of great strength back in the days of Seiros. But isn’t it weird that we’ve never heard of it?” Claude asked.

“Not really, when you consider the church curates the material that is circulated.” She responded. Linhardt rested his fingers on his chin and leaned back in his seat.

“But, why wouldn’t they want us to know of something like this? The church rules with an image of power. What would be more powerful than this?”

“That’s where we disagree, that would be the wrong kind of strength to reveal. That’s a back pocket kind of tool for sure.”

As they traded a few more theories Byleth heard none of it and had fixedly focused on the beast and it’s… claws. She felt herself reach for the scar over her chest and grasp at her shirt.

The claws… the Immaculate One… her scar… her heart… what could it all mean?

She heard footsteps coming.

“Hide this.” She ordered, hastily pushing it back toward them and opening another book from the table. Claude did the same, and Linhardt stuffed the materials into his cloak.

“Ah there you are.” Seteth. Her personal fetcher, back again. She wondered if he was somehow tracking her. “You were expected at breakfast professor.”

“Wasn’t hungry.” She called out without lifting her eyes from the book in front of her. “Wanted to test my eyes instead.” She was relieved to see that words looked like words and not just letter blobs as she read further on the random page about… turnip farming. These boys perhaps were not as sly as they thought.

Seteth came closer.

“Yes, while I’m sure…” He noticed her book. “Agriculture… has its merits, right now the Archbishop wishes to see you to go over what will be expected for your upcoming test.” Byleth nodded. Guess there was no time to run. And she wasn’t sure her legs could yet.

“What’s this Teach? Even professor’s have to take tests around here?” Claude added in a light manner.

“This test is to prove she is ready to return to teaching after such a traumatic event Mr. Riegan.” Seteth said, rather snappily.

“Wait… if you don’t pass some test you won’t be our professor anymore?” Linhardt asked, leaning forward in his chair.

Byleth nodded.

“Lots to prepare for.”

“I’d say so.” Linhardt mumbled, but she swore she saw a trace of sadness creep across his usually platonic features.

 _Don’t worry._ She thought. _I won’t let you down._

**********************************************

Edelgard had been surprised to see the Archbishop at breakfast. She wasn’t usually present at such a simple time. She watched her scan the room, a slight frown deepening as the hour went by. She shot Edelgard a disapproving look after Byleth never appeared. She presumed Rhea blamed her in some way, and she’d love nothing more than to have Byleth hidden far from her crooked reach. But she too found herself wondering where she’d disappeared to, especially with how off-beat she’d been all morning.

After breakfast she made a point to suppress her instinct to search for Byleth and instead wandered toward the gate to inquire about any correspondence she should have received from the Empire. That was when she remembered Dimitri’s ominous letter. She diverted her path immediately toward the Knight’s Hall where he could usually be found. How she’d forgotten about the cryptic content of his letter was beyond her. But the thing that kept pestering her... he’d called her El.

When she entered he had a lance in hand and was bashing a dummy repeatedly, grunts of effort spilling forth. There was a certain... madness to his movement she’d never noticed, and waited until it looked like he had finished his set before clearing her throat and making her presence known. He turned with the weapon pointed at her on instinct and relaxed immediately.

“Edelgard, you’re here.” There were bags under his eyes, worse than the last time, though he looked relieved to see her.

“I am. I finally read your letter... I had questions. And it seemed... you did as well.”

“Yes... we have much to discuss.” He wiped the sweat from his brow and placed his lance against the training rack. “But not here...” He nodded toward the door and she followed him to wherever he had deemed was more appropriate.

The spot he chose was not her favorite. They ended up near Jeralt’s grave. It instantly made her tense. Byleth had told her she held no blame over his death, but she’d been right when she said it was harder to forgive herself. She pushed down her thoughts and tried to focus on the disheveled version of Dimitri that was fidgeting before her.

He paced back and forth tapping his arms, seemingly trying to decide where to start. He sighed and rubbed his face, a look of exhaustion breaking through.

“First of all Edelgard... I am truly relieved that you’ve returned alive.” That surprised her. They’d never been that close in school or before as step siblings. They’d never even met before orientation to her recollection.

“Thank you.” She said in reception.

“I know neither of us have much family left... and that our relationship was non-existent after our youth, but I was truly... despondent at your apparent loss.” He spoke eloquently. He wasn’t wrong about family... but their youth? That caught her off guard. She didn’t have any memories of him in their youth... though to be fair majority of her youthful memories had been ravaged by her torments.

“And when I asked Gilbert and Rodrigue about any leads they may have, they shared a rather... disconcerting secret.” His tone had changed... as had his appearance. His eyes were burning, almost animalistic.

“You know... of the Tragedy of Duscur.” He asked blatantly. She nodded. Of course she did. She could imagine almost too well what that feeling must have been like for the young prince.

“Well they shared with me... that my step-mother... your birth-mother... her body was never recovered.”

That froze the blood in her veins. She had never heard this before... Never wanted to consider what had become of the mother she’d considered lost long ago.

“Her carriage disappeared... and every one assumed... they assumed she’d perished. But Rodrigue had other ideas...” His tone had broken in and out, struggling to keep composure.

“She... may still be out there somewhere... and she may be with the people that started the tragedy all together...”

This... was almost too much to process, though she had an idea to send Hubert a follow up letter as soon as this was done. If anyone could dig out such buried information, it was her cunning companion.

“I... I hate to ask about what happened to you wherever you were...” His voice returned to honest, and almost pleading. “But the people who had you... do you think there was any chance they were involved?”

What to tell him... so many truths that could be shared. But... should they? Her instincts told her to shut him down, but... Byleth was rubbing off on her. And she was opening up more and more. She thought perhaps she could give him something. Perhaps she could offer some kind of support.

“Dimitri... the people who had us... they have had their hands in many atrocities over the past decades. Before we were taken... Hubert and I had been studying them thoroughly.” That was one word for it. She exhaled a shaky breath. “I have no doubt that they orchestrated the Tragedy of Duscur.” His eyes were wide, his hands shaking. “And many of them are now gone.”

“The Flame Emperor...?” He asked, venom seeping through. She quickly shook her head. And had to think of how to explain.

“No... they perished during our escape... but he... was young. Around our age. He would have been 12-14 when the tragedy took place, not the age of a mastermind.”

“But he still could’ve been involved.” He seethed. She had no answer to that. She definitely hadn’t been. She’d been chained to a wall in a dungeon kicking away rats, but there was no point in bringing that up. That was too much to unpack at this time.

”Regardless... many of them are now gone... and those that remain... I intend to hunt down once I take up the throne.” She finished, resolutely. He nodded.

“As do I. They will pay for their crimes.” He looked gone for a moment. No longer the well-mannered leader of the Blue Lions, but instead a... beast. She’d only ever seen eyes like that on Byleth when she’d been threatened... but this was somehow worse. There was... enjoyment at the thought? 

“It would seem you and I will share a similar goal.” She tried, though the words felt strange to her. She’d never thought their paths would have anything in common. But then the red was gone and his usual demeanor returned. He settled into silence and his smile slowly reappeared.

“And if... our shared mother is somehow involved...” The words are hard to form on her lips, but she pressed on, as an Emperor would. “Than we will find out. And bring those responsible to justice.” He studied her in a way she couldn’t describe.

“I meant to ask... when did you start changing your hair?” That sent a chill of confusion and panic through her system.

“You... knew me before my hair changed?” She muttered the question out loud, unable to filter the sudden information. He looked surprised.

“Yes... you don’t recall? We met in the kingdom for a year or so. You taught me to dance. We rode horses. I gave you a dagger as a parting gift.” He laughed at the last part. “I suppose it wasn’t a very fitting gift for a child to give...” And a burst of realization exploded in her chest. Her forgotten friend... from the year before her life had been corrupted... was Dimitri?! She must’ve not been able to hide her sudden surprise.

“It was you...” She spoke to herself almost more than him. Memories came flooding in, but the biggest one... the dagger.

“Then... I owe you a great debt.” Now he looked surprised.

“That dagger you gave me... ended up being the reason we escaped. The warden threatened Byleth, was going to end her... and I was only able to save us because of that dagger.” Her emotions had started breaking through and he came closer to say- something instantly interrupted by the sound of two surprising figures on the path above.

“Lady Rhea, please listen to me.”

“Seteth, there is nothing more to discuss.”

They recognized the voices, and both were surprised to hear them this... heated. They silently shared a look that agreed eavesdropping was preferable to being found out.

“Oh isn’t there? I found Jeralt’s journal. I read about what happened to that child... Rhea... what did you _do?”_

Her heart started beating faster. Adrenaline rising. _Crescent shaped scar... and the nerve to serve her crescent moon tea..._

“Seteth... I’ve told you all there is to know... there is still much uncertainty regarding the future. That is why we must keep a close eye on her. Guide her in the right path.” She felt protective. Her reckless side wanted to call out against them that they’d ever talk about her that way. As if she were property.

“She is the one, isn’t she?”

“Yes... Jeralt lied to us about her age. Of that I am certain. She is the Progenitor God.”

Edelgard didn’t like that term. _Byleth... was what?_

“Even if that is the case, and even if we dismiss the questionable morality of the experiments leading to her becoming a vessel, what are your plans for her now? What more will you put her through?”

 _Experiments..._ Further shivers. Rage and fear coursing in equal parts.

“Nothing she can’t handle, but this... this may _finally_ be our chance to see Mother again... We must tread carefully. We’ve almost lost her too many times. And now with the Hrsvelg girl’s hold on her...”

She clenched her fists. Her whole body trembled as they spoke.

“We mustn’t lose her again. With all the darkness threatening Fodlan, she will be the key.” Rhea’s tone was final. Seteth had been surprisingly... upset with her in a way she was sure she’d never heard him. But it paled in comparison to her own fury she felt. She had much to tell Hubert in this next letter as it turned out.

She listened to their footsteps disappear, her teeth grit the whole time, until she finally became aware that Dimitri was still standing directly in front of her.

She reigned in her expression before turning to him again.

“I hate to impose... but could you do me one favor in the coming week?”

His eyes were sincere, even behind the dark lines under them and he nodded immediately, as if he knew what she’d ask.

“I will keep an eye on her El. You have my word. I know what she means to you.”

How was it that everyone already did?

**********************************************

The days go by faster without Edelgard around. They avoided being alone with each other at all times. They took meals with the rest of the Eagles, but made a point to not sit next to each other. Byleth found herself constantly staring at the table to avoid staring at her instead. And she’d found other ways to stay busy.

She gardened with Bernadetta and Ignatz. She fished with Flayn and Leonie. She tended the horses with Ferdinand and Ingrid. She even went to town with Dorothea and Hilda, as they were rather insistent. They helped her pick out a new jacket that was black and grey with silver buttons. It was a bit... official for her? But it was something.

For her material studies she’d often hole up in the library and find a similar gathering of students with Marianne and Annette aiding her in her magical studies, or Lysithea and Linhardt helping pour over study guides. She laughed internally at the amount of work Rhea had presented for her trials. It was far more than she’d had to do to earn the spot in the first place. For that all she’d had to do was unintentionally walk in the door. But it was a small sacrifice to reclaim something so special to her.

When she was finally cleared to return to the training grounds, students were almost too eager to join her. She shot quiver after quiver with Ashe at the targets. She competed in weight training with Raphael. Felix had told her to call on him when she could duel again. Caspar and her took turns with gauntlets against the practice dummies. She’d catch Dimitri around those areas, looking at her and often offering a wave, but always keeping a noticeable distance. She wondered why.

All of this was to prove she could juggle her responsibilities with other students, and she legitimately enjoyed her time with them. But her favorite part of the day was meals… where she could catch a glimpse of her. That, and sliding their secret notes under her door at dusk.

Each morning Byleth would find a new bag of tea leaves strung to her door. A gift from a certain someone. She’d invite a student to sample it with her, then write her review on a scrap of parchment and slide it under Edelgard’s door on her last patrol of the night.

_‘Almond Blend tastes like water used to do laundry. Sylvain said he thought it tasted ‘as beautiful as I looked.’ Think I should be offended… Would’ve tasted better with you.’_

_‘Lavender Blend was nice. Tasted like a flower. Lorenz joined me and went into great detail about teas and their qualities. He described lavender as a ‘peasants tea.’ Would’ve tasted better with you.’_

_‘Dagda Fruit Blend was very interesting. Tasted like watered down wine and turned dark red in the cup. Petra took it with me and asked of the work I took in Dagda and outside of Fodlan. Would’ve tasted better with you.’_

_‘Tried Chamomile with Mercedes after training. Fell asleep at the table. Poor Mercedes had to ask Dedue to carry me back to my dorm. Can’t speak much on the flavor, but the sleep was good. Would’ve tasted better with you.’_

_‘Offered your Cinnamon Blend to Claude, but he supplied one of his own. Almyran Pine Needles. AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Tastes like dirt. Hot, spiced dirt. According to him, it’s often drunk before battles to ‘get the blood boiling’ would not recommend for enjoyment._

_However, now I have extra tea leaves. Perhaps you know someone who could share them with me? I’ll be taking it at the greenhouse after dinner._

_Would taste best with you...’_

**********************************************

Edelgard went tentatively into the greenhouse. Her heart was fluttering. She was equally excited and nervous to accept her teachers offer. She’d missed time with her. Missed sharing their secret looks, missed holding her hand and ultimately missed the closeness they’d built that she’d come to revel in. But she had been smart. She’d fought her desire for her companionship to keep Rhea appeased and Byleth safe, and used the week to try and gather as much information as she could about the term Progenitor God.

There of course wasn’t much in the church’s curated library, but she’d found some rumors and reference, and at the end of it eventually came to the conclusion that Rhea was not to be trusted. She was dabbling with all of these thoughts as she reached the back of the greenhouse.

“Hello there stranger.” The familiar voice caught her off guard as it popped out of the darkness. In the corner, sitting against the planter box and completely obscured in the shadows of the palm leaves sat Byleth. Smiling in the moonlight with a single steaming cup of tea in her palm. Edelgard couldn’t help but smile in return. As selfish as it sounded, she’d missed the feeling of Byleth’s attention being solely on her. Byleth scooted slightly to the side and tapped the ground in an invitation and Edelgard gladly took it. Byleth handed her the cup once she’d settled.

“So, you didn’t care for the Almyran Pines?” She asked in jest.

“Not in the slightest.” Byleth responded, matching her tone. And they both chuckled. Edelgard inhaled the blend. It was a favorite of Huberts, though favorite was an overstatement. He always had preferred coffee to tea. If she twisted his arm he may say this was one he cold stomach. She had sent him many correspondents through the week and had mentioned to not return her letters, they wouldn’t arrive before she’d leave anyway, and the church may be... checking. They’d have to catch up in person.

She took a sip and didn’t mind the strong spiced flavor. It was good for chilly nights, though they were transitioning into the heart of spring and would have less and less of those. She handed her the cup back and she gave an appreciative nod after her sip.

“How have you been, my teacher? I hear good things about your studies?”

“Spying are we?” She raised an eyebrow in another lighthearted jab.

“I’m allowed to inquire over your progress from others. I hardly call that spying.”

“Is that why Dimitri is always within eyeshot?” That surprised her. She hadn’t thought he’d take the assignment so literally, and they hadn’t had many discussions. Her pause must’ve been noticeable, or her blush showed in the dim light. “Ahh, so it is related. I didn’t know you two were close.”

“It’s... complicated.” She answered, realizing she hadn’t gotten to catch her up to date on all the revelations they’d shared. “But... stemmed from something we heard... from Rhea.” She still remembered every word of that exchange, and had broken down the conversation in detail countless times when sleep had alluded her.

“I’ve got time...”

“I’m afraid we don’t...” She responded, and Byleth hung her head considering, taking another sip before passing the cup back. She took it and tapped her fingers thoughtfully on the side of the cup.

“Byleth... you're still not considering becoming a knight?”

“No... I’m still not.”

“Will you... promise me?” She knew it was selfish to ask, but she had been becoming increasingly worried about the possibility. Byleth tilted her head.

“What’s spurred this? It’s not like you to ask something like that of me...”

It wasn’t and she felt partially ashamed. She usually tried to empower her to make decisions, not take them away. But she had a bad feeling about this. A dreadfully bad feeling.

“I know... and I am sorry to ask it. I just... don’t trust Rhea... and I worry...”

Byleth took her hand and squeezed gently and she felt her concerns lessening.

“I don’t know what the future holds, and I still stand by what I said that it is not what I wish. But I don’t think you’d ask something of me if there wasn’t a good reason... so can I make you a promise along those lines?” Edelgard nodded.

“I promise that unless something wildly unforeseen happens, I will not become a knight. And that if I were to consider it, it would only be if it did not interfere with the promise I’ve already made you. Is that fair?”

“More than, my teacher.” And Edelgard nestled into her side. Byleth smiled and leaned back into her.

“Good.” They finished the tea, and didn’t think they should chance staying much longer, though Edelgard could sense both of their hesitations at leaving.

“So, how did you like the cinnamon blend?” Byleth smiled at the question as she rose and helped her to her feet, and those shimmering cobalt eyes found hers.

“Best tea I’ve had all week.”

The next day Edelgard and the rest of the Black Eagles sat outside the training grounds, nervously awaiting results. Byleth had passed every test so far. Manuela, Seteth, and Rhea had followed her from trial to trial, administering a written exam, a magical tome test, a tactical assignment, a general cardio assessment. Manuela had been filling them in after each trial was successfully executed.

“She came up with a better answer than the tactical test code offered. Brilliant isn’t she?”

“Her basic spells were all executed perfectly. Easy to forget she’s been studying it less than a year.”

“She barely broke a sweat, looked dashing too.” She winked at Edelgard at the last part and she swore she did it on purpose to make her squirm. Dorothea and her were truly cut from the same cloth.

The last update they received was that she’d passed her weapon maintenance and safety, and now only had to prove herself in sparring.

Caspar had been bursting at the seams to volunteer. He had spent most of the previous week with her at the training grounds, to the point Seteth had had to hunt him down and scold him for missing lectures.

She could sense the Eagles anxiety over having Byleth returned to them. After Linhardt had informed the group of the stakes, they had flooded Rhea and Byleth alike with confrontations and questions, and done absolutely everything they could to help her prepare. It was what nearly every meal conversation had been about in the past week. And now they could only wait.

Manuela finally emerged from the training grounds, and they were quick to rush her, hopeful questions on the tip of their tongues, but Edelgard immediately noticed her somber expression.

“What’s happened?” Edelgard asked, unable to keep the fret from her voice.

She sighed before turning to look at them all, resting a hand on Edelgard and Dorothea’s shoulders.

“She didn’t pass the final test.” They looked on incredulous. Bernie looked like she may cry, Ferdinand put his hand to his head as if he couldn’t understand. Petra looked thoroughly confused.

“What do you mean she didn’t pass? Did Rhea-“

“No no, nothing like that. The Archbishop was as surprised as the rest of us.” Manuela had looked each of them in the eye before continuing.

“Byleth took up her training sword and we waited for her to give the signal to start, but... she just stood there. I noticed her hand shake and her eyes darting back and forth around the room, and then she sighed, slumped her shoulders and apologized. Simply said... I can’t. She put her sword back on the training post and Caspar ran to talk to her. I believe they’re still in there now... but for the time being, that means she will not be returning as your professor.”

Edelgard couldn’t believe it. Byleth... had been defeated. She’d admitted defeat? That didn’t sound like her.

“I know this is hard to hear, but I promise you... this is harder on her right now. She is still coming back from a lot. Which is exactly why we prepared these tests. What she went through... it can’t just be brushed off. She’s still healing. She needs support more than anything. And I know you all will offer that to her, as you know even without the title she will offer all of hers to you.” Her words carried a lot of weight, and the Eagles all bowed their heads and dealt with their own reactions to the news. A few brushed tears away with their palms. 

Caspar came out a moment later hanging his head. The group asked him for details, though he didn’t have much else to offer. Edelgard couldn’t help her curiosity. She peeked through the crack in the door and saw Rhea sitting by Byleth on the bench. Manuela appeared by her side.

“I know you want to go to her, but our girl needs some time. She’ll come to you when she’s ready.” Edelgard let her hand slide down from the door. She was right.

Instead she listened to her classmates and offered consolation where she could.

But that night she was restless. They didn’t see her at dinner, didn’t see her at all. And she was leaving tomorrow... she couldn’t leave like this. She’d packed and repacked twice, and then paced around her room incessantly. She knew Manuela was right and she should give her time... but they didn’t have enough of it. She had to find her. Extend the olive branch. She went resolutely toward the stairs, and as she turned the corner she walked almost directly into-

“Byleth!” She was surprised to see her, and she saw a similar sentiment on her Professor’s eyes.

“Hey El...”

“I was... on my way to see you.” She confessed.

“Really? I was... on my way to see you too.” Her voice lowered and she smiled passively. They stood in the hall quietly for an almost awkward moment when an idea finally came to her.

“Byleth, would you like to go somewhere with me?” She looked up, and those cobalt-grays were so sweet. Achingly so. “I believe I owe you a date.”

There was a lake on the grounds, not far outside the gate and they walked the perimeter until finding a spot to sit. The night breeze was perfectly pleasant, as was the company. Byleth looked tired, but she knew neither of them had been sleeping well.

She also knew the day had been rather hard on her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked after a moment. Byleth sat with her legs crossed, staring across the water.

“I think... I could.”

“Whenever you’re ready my teacher...” They sat in silence looking out over the water for awhile and Byleth laid one of her palms out next to her. Edelgard smiled and rested her hand into it.

Byleth let out a long exhale and straightened her posture.

“I couldn’t fight Caspar today. I... saw the specter again.”

She tensed, she felt it where their hands joined.

“It was there... then gone. So quick... and I froze.” Her gaze became piercingly focused on something far away.

“Why was that so scary my teacher?”

”Because the specter is who cut me the other night.” That was startling.

“What? You’re sure?”

“I think so... but that’s not supposed to be possible. So... maybe I cut myself? Caught on the edge of my desk, or something...” She scrunched her eyes and shook her head.

“After I saw it I tried to focus, but all I could think was... that I’d hurt Caspar. I usually can picture my first three moves, and all of them... were savage. Far more than they should’ve been. I just... couldn’t.” She sounded meek at the end of her tale. “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be."

”I don’t think that’s fair to yourself Byleth...” She responded in a way she hoped was comforting. “Deadly wounds don’t heal too fast, in fact, they usually don’t heal at all.”

Byleth snorted an unexpected laugh at her words being used against her.

“What has happened to your mind... is as bad as your body. And maybe you didn’t heal in time for their tests... but you ARE healing Byleth. You are.”

She gripped her hand tighter and Byleth smiled at their interlaced fingers.

“And damn them for rushing you. You were in braced boots at the start of the week and now look at you. Your progress should be celebrated. The Eagles will always see you as their professor, I can tell you after the countless plans hatched at dinner to confront the archbishop.”

Byleth chuckled. She could feel the tension dissolving around them.

“But healing, my teacher, is more important than any title. There is no doubt in my mind you’ll get there again. We both will.”

“You’re right... thank you Edelgard.” She looked at their hands. “For a lot... for everything...”

She gripped her hand tighter.

“I’ve missed you...”

Edelgard’s cheeks burned.

“That sounds stupid, doesn’t it? I’ve seen you every day... I got to talk with you... I just...”

“I’ve missed you too.” She gently interrupted, and Byleth looked happy not to have to explain further.

“Silly... we both wanted to see each other... and yet we didn’t? I suppose you were right my teacher...” She thought off to the night they’d spent in each other’s arms in that terrible place and the words they’d exchanged. “Life is full of distractions, circumstance, and status.”

She felt Byleth shift next to her and looked back to see her leaning in and bringing their foreheads together with a content sigh. The familiar warmth and scent. The familiar flutter in her chest. The familiar... goodness of it all. She thought this may be her favorite place in the world, pressed between two cobalt eyes.

“Well a very wise former student of mine told me that they don’t have to.” She smiled slyly as she spoke.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about the future today... and what comes next.” Byleth continued. “And I thought... I may become a mercenary again.” Edelgard was confused. From what she’d told her that didn’t seem like the life she’d wanted for herself.

“Why would you want that?”

“Well…” Her tone turned sheepish and she pulled back looking off to the side. “You’ll have no need for a professor in Enbarr, but if a war’s starting… perhaps I could still be of use to you.” Now she was dumbfounded.

“You... would not need to be a mercenary to do that.” She leaned her head against her shoulder with a simple laugh. It was just like Byleth to think this way... “You just have to be you.”

Byleth’s blue eyes danced like ocean waves.

“I’d _want_ to be of use to you.”

“Use is not the word Byleth.” She smiled into the soft material of her jacket. “I’ve told you I don’t want you as a weapon… I meant that. It’s just you... I’d just want you.” More words they’d exchanged in a far more compromising place.

“Any time you wish to come to Enbarr you’ll be welcomed with open arms… at my side.” The unknown feeling floating between them was slowly disappearing. Unspoken words being spoken. She felt Byleth pull back slightly to look her in the eyes and reached up a hand cautiously... and a fat raindrop landed on her nose, startling both of them. They shared entertained expressions as the skies above started pelting them with cold droplets and Byleth instinctually rose, pulling Edelgard to her feet, and tearing off her coat to wrap around her as they started running back toward the gates, giggling the whole way as the skies opened up and cascaded down on them.

They made it to Byleth’s room still laughing, and she dragged her in from the rain without a second thought. She thought of Rhea’s warnings in the back of her mind, but Byleth dissuaded them immediately.

“Let me at least get you a towel, the stairs are on the opposite side of campus.” She relented, without needing much convincing, and stood over the threshold dripping a small puddle.

Edelgard found herself watching her teacher’s every movement. Watching as she pushed back her wet bangs, as she quickly lit a candle in the space, as she scurried around digging for an extra blanket… it all felt special.

Byleth looked back and noticed Edelgard’s gaze for the first time… and she studied Edelgard in turn.

She moved forward slowly and draped the recovered blanket around Edelgard’s dripping shoulders. Edelgard reached up gently, thumbing a line between the gap in her shoulder armor, feeling a soft patch of damp, yet warm skin. Byleth smiled at the touch and looked Edelgard in her half-lidded eyes. The air around them was comfortable, innocent, as if all the bad things that had happened to them couldn’t enter this sacred space. Byleth reached up with her free hand and gently ran her fingers through Edelgard’s wet hair, curling the ends between her fingers. The act felt so casual… so intimate...

By definition stolen times like these weren’t meant to last, but they felt more valuable than gold to two worn souls who had far too few of them. Byleth pulled the blanket over her head, covering her completely. She proceeded to dry her head softly back and forth, which pulled a laugh from Edelgard with the sheer silliness of it, and Byleth pulled it back down around her shoulders, leaning closer into her space. She crooked her head to the side, and Edelgard felt her smile grow deeper. She’d always found that tick to be unbearably endearing.

She leaned closer, crossing the line. She’d meant to let Byleth take the lead on their relationship, or whatever this was, but she thought if she didn’t kiss her in this candlelit moment she’d never forgive herself. She gently reached a hand up to Byleth’s jaw and tilted her head ever so slowly down. Byleth’s smile stayed. It stayed as she leaned in and stayed as their lips finally met. It felt different than any kiss they shared during their imprisonment. This moment felt like possibility. The kiss was gentle but unyielding as they felt each others soft exhales against the tips of their nose. As the kiss finally resulted in their lips parting and a soft inhale of cold air between her lungs Edelgard opened her eyes to see the cobalt gaze millimeters from her own and their smiles seemed unbreakable. There was nowhere else as special as this, and as they denied the circumstance and distractions that would claim their focus in the coming hours, they treasured this moment of truth.

The storm slowed enough for Byleth to walk her back to her room. She still had the towel and her jacket wrapped around her shoulders as she arrived at the second floor, and Byleth walked dripping next to her. They both still smiled with their smitten grins, glancing at each other every few steps, turning away the second they were caught. They arrived at Edelgard’s room too soon.

“Goodnight, Edelgard.” She finally said, as they stood staring at her door for too long. Her little smile was still there, and part of her looked like she didn’t ever want to leave her side, but she respected her teacher and herself too much to ask her to stay.

“Sleep well Byleth…” Their eyes locked once more, making her resolution threaten to crumble.

“Make sure to change into something dry.” Always the voice of reason. Edelgard finally took the handle to her door and pecked her cheek once more before drawing the moment to an end.

**********************************************

Byleth returned to her room. She was feeling hazy, her body tingling. She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the ground, one leg bouncing up and down. She was antsy. She hadn’t wanted to let her out of her room… nor to walk away from her in that hall. This would be the last night she’d be within 500 feet of her for some time… and she was instead sitting alone in damp clothes in a dark room.

Her foot continued to bounce. She sighed deeply.

“To hell with it.” She muttered to no one in particular and turned through the door, letting instinct guide her to where she craved to be.

**********************************************

There was a knock at the door that surprised her. She hadn’t even changed out of her soaked uniform yet, but moved back to the door tentatively. Her curiosity vanished upon opening to greet the familiar indigo hair and dark uniform of her teacher, and before she could offer any form of greeting Byleth had leaned across the threshold, encased her arms around her waist and shoulders, and pulled her into a deep kiss. Her surprise was only matched by the enthusiasm with which she returned the act. She hadn’t felt her lips like this in sometime. This was kissing with your whole body. With intensity... desire. Edelgard wrapped her arms around Byleth’s neck, holding her in place to exchange another kiss, equally as lustrous. And a third. A fourth. She was sighing into her lips with yearning and affection. That familiar burning in her throat was taking over her senses. She pulled her into the room, finally having enough brain power to think past the sensation that was Byleth, and the professor pushed the door shut behind her before being pressed back against it by the Emperor. Their eyes met… sparks. Nothing but sparks.

“Byleth…”

“I just wanted to see you… and then when I saw you… I wanted to kiss you.” Her words carried a candidness that was almost unbearable to ears that had always listened for lies. She’d never found one here, and it was tantalizing to be around her for that reason alone.

“I’m glad you did.” Her hands slid down to grasp against Byleth’s still soaked shirt. Byleth hooked an arm around her waist, holding her where she was and the other moved to her cheek.

“I was happy going slow… but…I am going to miss you.” Her eyes were still burning in sparks meant for her. "And... the world moves too fast for us to go slow.” She pressed their foreheads together and Edelgard was almost too happy to lean into their familiar space.

“I should have come to you sooner…” Byleth continued. "I should have spent every day with you… every night holding you… I know what I want, and what I’ve wanted, and I denied it. Wanting to do things right. Wanting to be sure it was what you wanted too…”

“It is.” She responded without thought. She didn’t need thought to know this. “I knew too.” Her breathing sped, and all she could think was how she wanted to taste her lips again. Claim them as her own. Though she may start a war, the only thing she wished to conquer was her.

The way Byleth excited her was like forgetting she ever had ever known hurt. Byleth ran a thumb across her bottom lip and a pleasant chill spread down her back to the heels of her feet.

Their eyes spoke the way they tended to.

_’And what is it you want tonight my teacher?’_

_‘Between nothing... and everything.’_

_‘So something?’_

She arched an eyebrow playfully and moved her lips closer to hers so they ghosted and she caught a slight taste of her. Cherries and leather and salty air.

Byleth pressed herself further into her space. She felt droplets that still littered her skin crossing onto hers. She took the initiative and brought their lips back together with a sigh of satisfaction. There truly was nothing like it.

The world’s worries were vast. Her own ambitions a large chunk of them. But it felt like something she could surrender for the night. There was nothing she could progress. No battle she could win or prepare, no allies to appease, no concerns to be fought. There was her. For this night, she could have her all to herself, and she would. Byleth was right, the world moved fast. But when they were together it slowed enough to remind them to enjoy it.

Sometime later she laid in bed, pressed against Byleth with her arms wrapped around her waist.

They had stripped away their soaked clothes, slowly, intimately, no rush in sight. She remembered the look in Byleth’s eyes as they pulled her shirt over her head and the moment of pause where Edelgard had had to inspect her. Had held her at bay with a finger on her shoulder as she drew lines over her with her eyes. She looked so damn… good. In the heat of the moment their first time she feared she’d missed really seeing her. Her form was tone, her skin calloused in thousands of war stories, her posture so confident and commanding. She leaned in and planted a kiss on the juncture of her neck and collarbone, before returning their lips to each other, slowly discovering what they’d missed in their hunger. They became greatly reacquainted, meeting in different angles, pressures, lengths. Every move felt sacred, and they were both all too happy to go at their pace. Since the last time her body felt healthier. Skin less elastic, muscles more defined, no longer covered in bandages, (besides the one on her thigh.)

She allowed Edelgard to strip her of her pants and bindings next, not minding being exposed, and waited for Edelgard to guide her hands to her own outfit before starting to disrobe her in turn. Byleth somehow gave off an air of complicity, but it only served to put her endless control on full display. Edelgard felt respected with her. She felt she could be exposed, because it wasn’t really like being exposed. It was like being recognized properly. When they’d both been reduced to their undergarments Byleth parted their lips long enough to step back, hand still around the back of her neck, other pressed into her hip and looked her up and down as thoroughly as she had. There was no judgement in those eyes. There was only… praise. Again.

“Beautiful.” She whispered to herself more than anything, and then she stepped forward and scooped her up in her strong arms, pulling a sharp laugh from Edelgard before they tumbled into the small bed. Byleth laughed and held up a finger to her lips, trying to shush them both, lest they be found out.

They’d bundled under the blankets to dry and now here they lay, bodies and breast and skin pressed together, arms holding onto the one thing they had in this world that felt real.

They’d gone as far as they would tonight, that she was certain, and it made it all the more special. They’d gone all the way when they felt their hand was forced, and she’d never regretted something less. But now, going at their own pace was nice. Endless time to fill in all the steps they’d skipped.

Byleth ran a hand through her hair absently, and Edelgard found she quite enjoyed the sensation.

“You know… that’s not my natural color.” She said quietly. She wasn’t sure what possessed her to say that.

“Really? What is?” Byleth asked with gentle curiosity.

“A light brown. Almost like the bark on maple trees.” Byleth hummed in response.

“I bet you look really cute with brown hair.” She kissed her forehead and Edelgard smiled softly.

“I almost forget what it looked like before. It’s been this way for so long.”

“Did it happen…after…?”

“Yes.” She answered the unfinished question. “But I don’t hate it. Not anymore.” Byleth hmm’d again and resumed stroking her silver locks.

“I think it makes you look powerful. Bearing what’s been done… Embracing it…” She shook her head slightly. “Always impressed.” Edelgard smiled at the praise. It had never seemed special to her. Perhaps she’d underestimated her own strength. Or perhaps Byleth was her source.

“I would go with you tomorrow…” She whispered. Edelgard hadn’t asked. That would be incredibly unfair, especially knowing what she wanted.

“I know…” She traced the two scars on her cheek slowly with her thumb. Byleth looked pensively at nowhere in particular.

“I need to see this through… for them. They did so much for me. I don’t want Bernadetta going back to her father. I don’t want Dorothea going back to the streets. I don’t want Caspar getting himself killed. I just… I need to help see them off, make sure they’re taken care of.” Her voice had been resolute, and spoke with the fondness she’d come to expect of her teacher.

“If not, I’ll bring them with me… when I come to Enbarr.”

An intimate smile parting her lips.

“And I do mean when… I don’t intend to leave you in that castle all alone.” Edelgard didn’t realize how much she needed to hear that. She felt her breath catch in her throat and leaned in, the blues almost unbearably sweet and buried back into the crook of Byleth’s neck, pulling her impossibly closer.

“Do you ever… think about if you hadn’t picked me?” Edelgard asked softly. The question was one she was constantly torturing herself with. Worrying that Byleth made a mistake somewhere down the line and wasn’t meant for her.

“All the time.” She answered. “And it’s terrifying… If I had chose something different… or let others choose for me… I wouldn’t be here.” She felt her arms readjust to hold her better and a hand press to the small of her back. That was unfair, she knew that was her sensitive spot. “I chose to lead the Black Eagles, I chose to forgive you, and I chose to come and see you tonight… It’s scary to think how different things would be if I didn’t…” It was indeed.

There were many things in life that had been dealt to them. Things they’d had no say in. But this… each other… that was one of the few they had picked for themselves. And that was why it was so special.

“If you were to sum up what you feel for me… in one word... what would it be?” Edelgard asked.

Byleth smiled.

“Close.”

Edelgard felt her lips settle into an unfiltered grin, the kind only Byleth could seem to give her.

“And… you?”

“Hmm?”

“What word would _you_ … give me?” Byleth asked, teasingly. It didn’t take her long to find it.

“Enamored.” Byleth blushed. She felt it without looking up. “I’d never dreamed it possible to meet someone like you... and now that I have I’m forever changed. For the better...”

**********************************************

It was morning. THE morning. Edelgard was leaving, and now Byleth found herself at the gate with the rest of the Eagles, Seteth, and the Archbishop herself. They acted perfectly formal, allowing her students to fawn over their departing ally. Dorothea and Petra hugged her so tight she thought they’d re-injure her ribs. Linhardt gave her a book of his own on white magic for her to study. Ferdinand made some grand gesture before Caspar elbowed him in the shoulder and he embarrassedly cleared his throat, instead offering a warm clasp of her hand. Caspar smiled and commented he’d probably see her soon when he came home to enlist in the knights, and Bernadetta had come from her room long enough to say goodbye. She impressed even Byleth by stepping forward into a small hug around Edelgard’s waist and leaning her head on her shoulder. El smiled at her friends fondly, as her battalion emerged from around the stables.

“Sorry we’re late. The ride in last night took longer than anticipated. Horses were grumpy this morning.”

Shamir stood at the head of the battalion, armor braced and pack slung over shoulder. She and Byleth make eye-contact and there was an immediate air of respect.

Byleth offered her hand and Shamir clasped her forearm. The two former mercenaries had always gotten along. They worked great on missions together and were often the only two to appreciate the sharp contrast their current life was to their former.

“Professor. Glad you’re back.” She nodded in thanks.

“Glad to be back. Heard you were on assignment?”

“Yup. And onto the next one.” She said plainly.

“Yes, we’re unfortunately rather short on knights.” Rhea flashed her a strange smile.

“Which is why we’re on a tight turnaround time. Rhea. Professor.” She nodded curtly.

“Take care of yourself.” Byleth added and Shamir patted her shoulder.

“You too.” She turned and started down the stairs. Edelgard raised her pack in hand and followed with a wave to her classmates.

She and Byleth had said their goodbyes that morning. They’d agreed that being too familiar in front of present company was a bad idea.

But as she watched them head through the small corridor of merchants setting wears and weapons she felt a sudden loss. It was sharp and familiar, and it hit her how stupid it was that she was letting someone else have a choice in this. The choice was theres. So Byleth decided to be bold.

“Edelgard.”

She called out to her and took the stairs two at a time, jogging to catch up. The Adrestian Emperor looked startled, but her escort merely smirked. She was sure she was onto them. Everyone apparently was.

“I’ll get the horses ready.” Shamir carried on through the gate, taking Edelgard’s pack and giving the two a moment. When Byleth came to stop in front of her she gave a curious smile, and Byleth followed through by pulling her in and resting their foreheads together.

“Be safe.”

“I will my teacher.” She smiled. “But isn’t this... inappropriate for someone here?”

Byleth could already imagine the Archbishop’s expression of disdain from behind her, but she decided she didn’t care. She was going to get one last scent of lilac. One last anchor to hold onto when the past came to haunt. One last moment with the person who had taught her she had a heart by stealing it.

She decided to be one step bolder.

“If it isn’t, this will be.” She pulled back and put her thumb and forefinger to her chin, and gently tilted her lips up to plant a quick kiss. Edelgard’s cheeks burned bright pink, but the smile never left her face. Byleth could feel the eyes of her Eagles on her. Caspar and Linhardt whistled. Petra giggled and pumped her fists. Bernadetta evidently hid behind Ferdinand as she started stammering. Dorothea merely hid her smile with her knuckles and shook her head. She’d been onto them from the beginning.

“I’ll see you in Enbarr?” She asked softly. Byleth nodded with their secret smile.

“See you in Enbarr.”

She watched her cheeks dust pink once more, and she saw that lilac gaze soften in their special way. She watched every step she took down the dirt path, every time she looked over her shoulder at her, before finally joining Shamir and the small battalion. There was a soreness in her chest, similar to the first time she’d woken in the infirmary without her. She missed her. And was going to. But they’d see each other soon enough, of that she was certain.

She turned back and nodded in the direction of her former students. Dorothea shooing them all away with an understanding wave. She nodded to the Archbishop as well. Her way of making her point. She was surprised to see her nod back, and Byleth took it as an understanding that there was nothing Rhea could do so she may as well be on board. She decided she wasn’t interested in anything else right now. She’d rather go sit with this feeling, so she put her hands in her pockets and cut around the vendor stands to find a quiet place.

She found herself in the Goddess Tower and sat at the top, overlooking the grounds as the sun rose over them. She enjoyed the seclusion and the memory with a certain former student of hers in this place.

_“Such a pout, honestly.”_

Byleth jerked at the startling sound, but smiled almost as quickly at the return of her friend.

Sothis. The Goddess in her head, in her very soul. A voice that she knew that she knew… though she could only remember one specific time they’d talked. Memories of her seemed tied to their connection, and the longer she sat there feeling as if she sat by her side, the stronger their bond reformed. Familiarness seeping in.

_“Already missing your Emperor I see.”_

Byleth chuckled.

“No use denying it. I can’t hide anything from you.”

_“Not when we share a mind.”_

Byleth hummed in agreement and leaned back on her palms, content as she felt the slight breeze slipping through the early morning air.

A thought came to her.

“Sothis…?”

_“You wanted to ask about our past lives?”_

She nodded.

_“There is much to know, but I apologize… my memories of them are strained. How curious.”_

“Can you tell me one thing?”

_“I can certainly try.”_

“How many times?” The last occasion she’d been on the edge of eternity, gambling between life and death, Sothis had mentioned that this was not their first pass through. She had no idea how that could be, but also no reason not to believe her.

_“I can remember… three. Three other lives. This is the fourth.”_

Three lives. That was a lot. As she pondered the implications a thought sprung in her head, and formed a lump in her throat. It felt like choking, and she needed to know…

“Can I ask one more question? In our past lives… did I still choose her?” She thought of the choices she’d made to get here, and none seemed more important than that. If she chose the Blue Lions, or the Golden Deer… or even the church… they could have been enemies. That idea was paralyzing.

_“Yes. You can relax. No matter the life we’re in… you’re always drawn to her.”_

And like that, the nightmare was gone. She could breathe again.

“Really?”

_“Of course silly. Circumstance may change, but YOU stay predictably the same. And you love her regardless._

_…_

_…_

_…_

_Love?_

She could practically feel Sothis rolling her eyes at her expense.

_“Yes Byleth, LOVE. But don’t worry too much, the good news is… she always falls for you too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BAM. 12k words. Do go eat a snack or see the sun again, it’s been awhile!  
> Nah for real, this chapter was a lot a lot of fun.  
> I don’t know what part I was most excited about. I think I really like, since we’re way off canon anyway, pairing up people who don’t normally go together in game. Like Linhardt and Claude, they would be a diabolical duo when it comes to information that the church wouldn’t want them to have. How fun was that? And I liked giving Dimitri a scene with Edelgard before- well just before 🤭  
> Also Shamir going on the journey with Edelgard was an idea that came out of left-field and I instantly got excited about. They wouldn’t just be sending the freaking Emperor on a single horse un-supervised. So I gave her a knight, and I’m excited for the dynamic it opens for them.  
> And Sothis is back! For good, we’ll start hearing from her more and more.  
> I really enjoyed the last scene being cute and referencing the previous lives, of which I have prequels planned for that you may start seeing sooner than you expect ;)  
> If you noticed as well, each of the last chapters ended with Byleth in distress over the specter. I’ll give you a multiple choice as to why we changed that to a cutesie moment instead:  
> A) To show her finally healing  
> B) I couldn’t think of anything better  
> C) It’s the last time we get to be cute for awhile
> 
> Place your bets ;)  
> Anyway all, be well! Talk to you soon.  
> Thanks again for reading, really. Means a lot!


	5. Unexpected Connections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard journeys home  
> Byleth attempts to settle in  
> Neither goes to plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really interesting to write, because I knew exactly where I wanted it to end, but the in between of getting there got to be a little more fluid and experimental.
> 
> I also realized this was the first time I wrote them on their own. Even in the previous arc all of their interactions and dialogue were about each other if not directed at each other. This story is going to see our girls branch out into their independent goals, and that was very intentional. They’re obviously important to each other, but the idea is do the things they want line up? For us to know, they have to figure out what they want.
> 
> But you all have been so patiently waiting for the angst to start in earnest ;) Fret not, the wait is over! Here we go!

**Part 5 - After Stockholm**

Edelgard felt rather reflective on the journey back to Enbarr, the open road providing time to let her mind wander to trivial things. One such one was that Shamir, another former mercenary, shared many tics with Byleth. The way she slept upright with her back pressed against something. The way her eyes were always scanning an area. The way she’d keep her hand near her weapon at all times. These instincts, she reasoned, were things mercenaries developed by surviving, and that these two had survived much.

She constantly thought of Byleth. There still wasn’t a word for what she was to her, but she wished she had one. Teacher was not enough, friend wasn’t even close, lover was… rather tasteless. But what she really was to her… was important. _There must be a better way to express that._ She mused.

The night they’d spent before she left had been wonderful, and was imprinted on her very being. It replayed over and over as she could still feel the weight of her all encompassing embrace. Like a blanket or a shield able to keep the world at bay. She wished she’d gotten to speak with of deeper matters. Rhea’s potential plans, this ‘Progenitor God’ title, the phantoms she was still seeing, her and Dimitri’s troubled past. All important… but she wouldn’t have traded the time they did share for anything.

As they drew closer to their destination her mind turned from her light daydreams to… business matters.

They were only about a days ride from the capital city, Enbarr, and getting there meant finally taking up the crown she’d been avoiding. She'd never wanted the damn thing. Nor should she have been the one to inherit it. The guilt more than anything was what kept her so averse. She had been ninth in line. Ninth in line should never inherit anything, unless there had been a great and terrible tragedy… and there had.

She thought bitterly of the way her siblings had suffered, only to have no one remember their names or know they were gone. They were wiped from history overnight… She would change that. If things like this were forgotten, they cold be repeated. So she would _never_ let them forget.

Another set of hooves fell in rhythm nearby, pulling her from her inner thoughts. Shamir rode up beside her. The slightest furrow to her brow.

“Your majesty, I’m going to tell you something, but you need to look ahead and show no reaction. Understood?” Her tone was deadly serious. Even more so than usual.

“I understand.” She responded, keeping her own temperament level.

“We’re being followed.”

**********************************************

Walking the monastery grounds with Sothis in her head was a new experience, mostly in the way that every few steps Sothis would hum thoughtfully as if deciphering a puzzle. Whenever Byleth inquired she’d respond that it was nothing. Until 5 feet later when she’d hum again and the cycle continued.

“Sothis... are you alright?”

 _“Familiar. Everything is so familiar…”_ She seemed to be thinking out loud (in her head?) more than speaking to her.

“Guess that makes sense. If we’ve lived through three lives, you’ve probably been here a lot.”

That thought was almost cripplingly intriguing. Sothis hummed again.

“What’s catching your eye?” She asked, partially amused.

_“It feels like… as I see each of these spaces I’m seeing memories.”_

“What do you see?”

 _“They are fragmented… but… over there,”_ Byleth felt her eyes drawn to an area in the open courtyard. _”You practiced for the White Heron cup with your nominee.”_ Byleth stared at the spot.

“Well yes, I remember that too.”

 _“Who do you remember nominating?”_ She asked, a tinge of slyness trickling off her words.

“Dorothea. She was very impressive.”

_“I remember two different nominees. Once you nominated Ashe, and once Edelgard.”_

Byleth cracked a confused smile.

“Really?” She couldn’t remember a time when Ashe had been her student.

_“Yes. Funny how simple things can change so drastically.”_

“Were the past lives… very different than this one?”

 _“Hmmm….”_ Sothis seemed to ponder. _“Yes, but it’s hard for me to remember everything. And it seems I can’t choose what memories come, they just arrive on their own… or don’t.”_

She sounded frustrated. Byleth couldn’t fathom how disorienting this must be for the Goddess.

_“I’m sorry Byleth. I wish I could do more.”_

She shook her head. Part of her wanted to know every detail of her pasts, and part of her was dreading knowing why she’d been sent back.

“Don’t worry. I’m curious, but there’s nothing to be done. I’m here in this life and I can’t change what’s happened.”

 _“How very you to say.”_ Sothis chuckled in her head.

“Profes- I mean, Lady Eisner.” She looked over her shoulder and saw, of course, Seteth. “The Archbishop would like to invite you to tea.”

An invite instead of an order. Interesting. Maybe she was moving up.

“Of course Seteth. Lead the way.” She had the sense she should try to stay on Rhea’s good side after publicly declaring her affections for El. Tea might be a good start. Or perhaps she was a lamb being lead to the slaughter.

Rhea greeted her pleasantly as she arrived at the third floor garden.

“I thought we’d try a new tea today. I heard you were working your way through just about every flavor in the pantry.” She smiled warmly and Byleth nodded.

“I am. What are we having?”

“Seiros Blend. A favorite of the commoners after sermons.”

Byleth accepted her cup and took her sip. It was somehow bitter and sweet. Like... watered down cocoa. Incredibly watered down. She couldn’t say she cared to ever drink it again, but she internally committed to finishing her cup as a sign of good faith.

She went to take another sip as she turned to Rhea and sputtered, coughing and thumping her chest.

Floating in the space behind her… levitating as if a ghostly entity… was Sothis. The girl she remembered from the throne room. She hadn’t expected to _see_ her.

“Are you alright my child?” Rhea asked, concerned at her outburst. “Is the tea not to your standard? I suppose it is more of a winter blend.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I mean it’s not, but it’s nothing.” Byleth coughed again, still trying to regain her composure. She took a deep breath and cleared her throat. She locked her eyes past Rhea’s shoulder where Sothis still floated, intently studying the Archbishop. She seemed to notice Byleth’s gaze and looked to where Sothis was, but said nothing.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Nothing’s bothering you?” Curiosity coating her voice. _She couldn’t see her?_

“Yeah, sorry. Think my eyes are playing tricks on me.” She continued, trying to return to her tea as if the Goddess herself wasn’t floating in the space directly behind the religious leader.

“Oh, you don’t have to drink that if you don’t like it.” She added and Byleth caught herself with her cup and quirked a small laugh, setting the cup back down.

“Thanks. I mean I’ve had worse. Don’t let Claude pick the flavor.”

“I’ll remember that.” She laughed lightly into the back of her hand. “Professor- oh there I go.” She shook her head with a sad smile. "I apologize, calling you that has become a habit.”

“I don’t mind.” She replied softly. Being the Professor had been something she was proud of.

“Well as long as that’s the case, I’ll continue. I wanted to ask if you would like to be sent on a mission.”

 _Mission…_ That was loaded word, equal parts exciting and alarming.

“What kind of mission? I haven’t been training much since…” She thought to when she’d froze facing Caspar. When she’d seen the specter and felt her control slip.

“No no, not that sort of task, I assure you. Only the knights engage in combat missions, and you’ve already expressed your interest in staying away from that. We are, however, sending a relief assignment to Remire village with the Golden Deer. Manuela has her hands full at current time with Alois in the infirmary. His last mission was rather perilous. She had asked if you could lead the class in her stead.”

Hmm.. that was an interesting proposition. If Manuela had suggested it, it was probably a good thing. And she did like the idea of getting some semblance of normalcy.

“Sure. I’ll go. Thank you, Rhea.” She smiled genuinely back at her.

“Such a kind soul… just like Sitri.” She beamed. It sent that same leaking feeling in her chest.

“What… was my mother like?” Byleth asked, following that feeling.

“She was sincere… quiet… she loved flowers. Your father would bring her new ones every time he returned from outside the monastery, and tell her stories of the places they’d grown.” Rhea had that far away look again. Memories that clearly meant something to her. It gave her a gnawing feeling of guilt. She wished she’d gotten to know her. But this was the next best thing.

“I apologize… it is… painful, even now, for me to speak of her. She meant a great deal to me. But I believe you are owed these stories.” Rhea continued. "Your mother wasn’t overly… emotive, but when she and Jeralt were together her face would just light up.” Byleth liked that idea. “Similar, I’d say, to how you and Edelgard looked at each other.” She added on a slightly sharper note, and Byleth would have sputtered her tea a second time had she still been drinking it.

Her cheeks turned fiercely pink. There was a slight challenge to Rhea’s eyes, but Byleth had nothing to say, neither in defense nor denial. As far as she was concerned, she’d said the final word on the subject.

“Professor... I know you think my worrying is unfounded, but I do ask that you be careful.” She said, her tone changing all together.

“Careful?” She said blankly, willing away her combative instincts.

“Falling in love with an Emperor is a dangerous affair...” There it was again, _love._ “One I’m not sure you want to get yourself into."

They stayed in the awkwardly charged air a moment longer before Seteth entered, and Byleth was, for once, _thankful_ for his interruption.

“Lady Rhea- oh, pardon me.”

“That is quite alright Seteth, I’ve been dodging the days work long enough.” She flashed her shimmering smile. The one she always seemed to wear, as if their previous conversation hadn’t happened. " You’ll leave at first light with the Alliance house, yes?” Byleth nodded and rose. “Wonderful, I will inform Manuela. May the Goddess watch over you, Professor.”

 _Oh if only she knew how closely_ , She thought as Sothis finally peeled her eyes away from Rhea and floated down the hall with her.

When they were alone in the stairwell Byleth finally glanced over her shoulder to the green haired girl.

“So I can see you now?”

_“It would seem so.”_

“Great, one more hallucination.” She muttered.

 _“NOT a hallucination.”_ She added.

“What was that about? Why were you looking at her like that?”

_“I’m… not sure. I felt a very conflicting bond to her.”_

“Well it makes sense, that’s what I feel. And you’re stuck with my feelings.”

_“It went deeper than that. She and the man that came to get you as well… they were important to me. Before…”_

Sothis looked extremely focused but ultimately aggravated.

_“Oh, it’s no use! Nothing’s coming.”_

“Give it time. We’ll be seeing a lot of them.” Given how they kept such a tight watch on her, she’d be given plenty of chances.

_“One things for sure… she is hiding something from you. None of what she told you was lies, but she holds many secrets close to her. And pain. She holds so much pain…”_

“What makes you say that?” Byleth asked, intrigued by her analysis.

_“You can always tell when people are hurting. But it’s dangerous. Hurt people… tend to hurt people.”_

**********************************************

 _Followed._ Shamir said they were being followed.

Her body coiled for a fight, though on the surface she looked as calm as a waveless day at the ford. She strained her ears to hear anything at all. A crunching of leaves, an uneven pitter patter. Nothing stuck out.

“They’ve been on us all day. Not sure how many yet.” Shamir spoke quietly. No alarm to her tone.

“What do we think they’re waiting for?”

“Location, maybe. A specific spot to box us in. Or nightfall. Easier to attack. We’ll keep an eye on it… just be ready whenever I give the signal.”

Edelgard nodded… but at that moment… it seemed the enemy decided to give their own.

Three blasts, like canons, shot off around them, cratering the earth with leaves and dirt blasting everywhere. Some of the men were thrown from their horses and cried out. The mares themselves whinnied in protest. Arrows rained down, one wizzing into Shamir’s leg.

“Shit!”

Two more went into their nearby allies. Her horse neighed and bucked at the oncoming assailants, but she managed to stay atop it. Enemies came racing out of the woodworks that surrounded them. Their whole force was maybe nine people, but they were outnumbered two to one by the attackers, and exposed on the open road. Shamir pulled her bow and let loose three rapid fire arrows, dodging another while still sitting atop her steed. A swordsman drew his blade along side her and she countered with the steel of her bow, locked in a stand off, pressing back with grit teeth.

“Get to safety!” Shamir called over her shoulder to Edelgard. Another assailant dove from a treetop and took her to the ground. She landed with a grunt, but managed to hold her bow up to block his next swing and kick his legs out from under him. She planted a swift cross to his head, ricocheting his skull against the ground. Lights out.

“GO!” She repeated to Edelgard as the swordsman reared on her again. She pulled a dagger and countered him masterfully, flipping his weight and slitting his throat as he landed.

A mercenary like her… like Byleth… would be thrown away casually, without a second glance. And that idea was... wrong. And infuriating. Enough so it caused her blood to boil. If she wanted to end that cycle, it started with her. Edelgard drew her axe.

What a hilarious conundrum. An Emperor who would start a war… but wouldn’t waste a soldier. She was quite the paradox of a person.

She hopped down to her feet and joined the fray, swinging at the progressing foes before they could near the downed archer. Shamir looked annoyed or shocked, but didn’t falter for a second in her continued hail-fire.

“I told you- to run.” Her words were punctuated by the sound of the bow string snapping back, and the arrows splitting the air. Edelgard deflected another incoming swordsmen and planted a swift boot before jabbing the end of her axe into his foot. He cried out as he stumbled back and was trampled by a loose horse.

“I heard you.” She retaliated, offering a hand and pulling her back to her feet. She favored her non-impaled leg, the wooden handle of it still sticking out, blood spurting and clotting around the stake. _That wound looked deep._

As she calculated their next move she saw Shamir’s eyes widen before she was being pushed away, the ground where they’d stood exploding into another blast of leaves and dirt. Edelgard saw Shamir sent flying, heard her body rejoin the earth in a heavy thud. She covered her head from the storm of mud and carnage raining down. More blasts sounded off around her. Her ears were ringing. The sounds of crackling trees punctuated the air as they split and collapsed.

She opened her eyes and saw smoke covering the area. She heard people still fighting. Voices calling out, metal colliding. The air smelled like blood. She got to to her feet, stumbling through the path. The way back was clouded and cut off with a large fallen tree. She had no information on her enemy, couldn’t reach her allies... all that she could do was vanish.

As her head cleared from the pain she noticed the midnight hair and evergreen coat poking out from under the collapsed tree. Shamir was pinned. She wasn’t moving. Edelgard crouched and quickly moved to her side, where she checked and found a pulse. Well that settled that, she had to get her out. And fast. She looped her arms under her shoulders and braced her feet as she heard the voices nearing in. She locked her knees, and pushed against the soft dirt, freeing her little by little. Hoping the entire time that the chaos would be enough to camouflage them.

She gave one last pull and felt the tree sink down lower as she was finally out from under the trunk. Edelgard wasted no time slinging her unconscious arms over her shoulders, resting the bulk of her body on her back and hurrying off path as the voices yelled after them. She wound their way through branches and mud, trying to disappear. Similar to another recent memory with another wounded mercenary. This was becoming a pattern for her.

**********************************************

Byleth found her way to the training grounds. This use to be the place that felt the most familiar... and now it felt the most foreign. She walked by the wall of training weapons and ran her hand across the wooden handles.

A voice roused her from her thoughts.

“Getting reacquainted, Professor?”

The door opened with a creak and Catherine came closer, wrapping gauze on her knuckles.

“Something like that.” Byleth responded. “Sorry, am I in your way?”

“Nah, not at all. In fact, I could use a partner. Wanted to work on my hand to hand. You in?” She asked as she retrieved some gauntlets and started securing them over her wrists.

Byleth hadn’t dueled anyone since the last time she’d seen the specter. The idea made her… uncomfortable.

“I’m afraid I might hurt you.” She said with a furrowed brow. Catherine laughed heartily with her hands over her stomach.

“I’m not so fragile, it takes a lot to hurt me.” Arguably she was right. This wasn’t one of her students, this was a full-fledged knight. Pretty strong one at that. She mulled it over.

“Alright. I’ll try. Got to shake off the rust at some point.” Catherine tossed her a set of gauntlets.

“That’s the spirit.” She sounded excited and took her starting stance. “And at any point, we can stop. No need to overdo it, alright?"

Byleth nodded as she finished securing the straps and took her position.

“Alright.” Catherine said, eager as always.

The knight made the first move, swinging an obvious and wide jab, giving Byleth an easy window to lean out of the way. She threw another punch with the opposite arm. Same speed and same outcome. Byleth returned the motion, giving Catherine a chance to execute the same dodge and they both eased into the motions.

She saw the playful light in Catherine’s eyes as she took a step further into Byleth's space, swinging a bit faster. Byleth blocked and swept her shin at Catherine’s front leg, knocking her back, though she quickly recovered. Catherine nodded with a smile. Their motions picked up in speed and intensity. They started throwing combos, aiming for weak spots, aiming to land their hits. They used elbows, angles, footwork, and slowly the atmosphere felt… relaxed. Sporting.

She’d expended so much energy at that place... fighting to survive, fighting against the odds, fighting with every ounce of her… she’d forgotten how to fight with _less_. That was the thing that felt difficult. The control of it.

Catherine caught her shoulder on a cross. She recovered the momentum into a wide round house that Catherine absorbed against her side, clamping her arm over the ankle and pinning it. She smirked at her advantage, but Byleth returned the smirk and hopped off her remaining foot, planting it into her chest with a swift kick and knocking them both to the ground. Byleth got to her feet first and Catherine laughed with a shake of her head.

“Not bad.” Catherine doubled her efforts, and Byleth felt the adrenaline course as she blocked, bobbed, jabbed, blocked again, on and on. She felt the sweat beading and matting through her shirt. Felt the thrill of it, the joy of fighting to fight, not to kill. She caught Catherine with a fist in the ribs, and the knight retaliated by swatting at her hand.

Her left hand. Her bad hand.

Pain- _pain_ shot through her fingers like a bolt of lightning. The fingers that had been sawed would probably always be a sore spot, but the reaction they pulled from her was violent and sudden. And entirely unexpected.

She cried out in pain or fury as her instincts filled her right hand with crest energy, wailing with all her might into the side of the enemy- of **Catherine’s** head.

The knight only had a second to look startled before she went soaring across the room and colliding against a stone pillar with a sickening crack before sliding to the ground.

She didn’t get up. She twitched and gurgled from the ground, her body at an awful angle.

Byleth only barely registered that her knuckles were bleeding as her gauntlets had exploded upon impact. She was struggling to take in the sight of the crimson pooling from the blonde head of hair onto the stone beneath.

Her body shook. Her breath caught in her chest and imploded.

_No… No.. No no no no…._

She tried to move… tried to run to her… merely managing to bring her hands up to her head in a weakness as the dread consumed her.

_What did I do… What the FUCK DID I DO?!_

_“Quickly! Reach for time!”_ Sothis yelled in her head.

“What?!” Byleth didn’t understand.

_“Reach for TIME. The strings of time. Focus and PULL.”_

_“DO IT.”_ She added when she sensed Byleth’s hesitance.

So she did. She tried to find something to grab… wrapped her fingers around an invisible handhold… and pulled. There was a faint coldness at the base of her spine that quickly spread. The world around her changed colors. Purple and black orbs floating through her vision. _What the hell is this?_ It felt like everything around her moved and she was stuck as a statue. As the chill continued to spread she felt a pressure building up in her body that finally burst as she returned to her feet, her stance with one arm extended and a figure, standing face to face- _Catherine!_

Her windup died mid swing, suspended in air. Remembering what she’d just seen...

The crest energy sizzled away and she stared with her fist half extended, her other hand tightly clutched against her chest. Eyes wild. Catherine looked at Byleth with concern.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She was sweating for a totally different reason now. Her eyes kept darting back to where she’d just seen her cracked skull bleeding out... her body thrashing as her nerves and mind were severed... because of her... because she’d lost control…

But she was ok. It hadn’t happened... _it hadn’t happened to her…_

But it had to Byleth…

She took a step back and unwrapped her gauntlets, still cradling her left hand to her chest and rubbing the fingers.

“Think I’m done for the day.” She muttered as she walked to the door.

On the other side of the large wooden panel she took a few shaky steps toward the wall and collapsed against it. Still trying to ease her breathing.

 _“You ok?”_ Came the voice that knew she wasn’t.

She didn’t know which part was upsetting her the most, or what to address first.

“How’d you do that?” She finally asked.

_“I didn’t. You did.”_

Well that didn’t make sense. She’d never had the power to turn back time. And if she could’ve, she would’ve many times before now...

_“As long as we’re connected... you have access to the flow of time. You can use the power of the divine that courses through me... courses through you, to grab onto these moments.”_

“And pull...” She said.

_“Yes, though there are limits to how far back it will go... and there are things even my power can not undo...”_

Byleth had questions. So many questions. And she still felt sick. And she still couldn’t get her breathing in check. Sothis could sense it. The young girl appeared in front of Byleth and squatted so they were eye level instead of floating. She rested a hand on her knee and there was a strange sensation where she touched. A soothing vibration.

_“Calm yourself Byleth... it’s ok... you didn’t harm that woman. You never intended to, and to her knowledge, you never did.”_

“I never intended a lot of things...” Byleth whispered. Her conscience couldn’t calm down. Her hands were shaking. It’d been easier, she hated to admit, to heal in that place. To only focus on survival... as she always had. As weapons did. Now, trying to focus on _living_... was a completely different fight. It was something she’d never had to do.

And it terrified her.

 _“I know it does…”_ Sothis responded to her thoughts. _“But I am here with you now. I will help you through this as best I can.”_

Byleth nodded. Slowly coming back to grips.

_“And there are others who care for you. You will not have to deal with this alone, if you can remember to let them in.”_

“Professor!” Ferdinand’s voice rang out with its usual bravado as he crossed to her from the courtyard.

 _“Perfect example.”_ Sothis smiled and faded from Byleth’s sight.

He noticed her distress as he came closer.

“Are you alright?”

“Rough day.” She responded.

“Did you re-injure yourself?” He asked with sudden concern.

“Something like that, but it’s just old wounds. Old memories. Not important.” She knew it was a weak excuse. But he seemed to understand and nodded instead.

“Shall I fetch Manuela?”

“No, that won’t be necessary. It’s just... up here.” She tapped a finger against the side of her head and stared off. She sighed again and he took the seat next to her against the wall.

“That place... was really something awful wasn’t it?” His voice was serious and slightly awed. She didn’t want to scare her student, nor did she plan on giving details.

“It was and we need not speak of it... it’s just...” She squinted across the fading light of the monastery, trying to make sense for herself of what this feeling was.

“My body still feels like every fight is life or death. It’s... hard to control that part of me.” The words felt choppy. They didn’t flow as easily as when she talked to Edelgard... but to Ferdinand’s credit he absorbed them and looked thoughtful. "Makes sparring difficult when you’re scared you’ll accident kill your opponent.”

“Well, we’ll just have to keep you from sparring for awhile. Why don’t we, instead, go enjoy a cup of tea?” Byleth couldn’t help but smirk. Ferdinand’s solutions to most things seemed to revolve around tea. He had explained that it could help with ailments, restlessness, focus, energy, disagreements. She had in turn tried to explain to him that it was still just leaves. But tea sounded like a good distraction. She accepted and he seemed positively jubilant, rising up and offering her a hand to pull her to her feet.

“Excellent! We will convene in the garden! I will grab my personal collection of blends. Oh, this will be grand. Is it true you’re still looking for a favorite flavor? This too shall be something I can help with, proving my prowess to Edelgard once more!” Byleth couldn’t help but chuckle at his enthusiasm.

“Lead the way.”

Now here she sat, the sun having set over the horizon but leaving the sky painted between receding orange and incoming cerulean. She felt positively sick from the amount of tea she’d consumed. Apparently Ferdinand's tactic was to make practically every flavor in the box and have her compare them one after the other. Dorothea and Petra had joined for the impromptu tea party, but wisely stuck to nursing a single cup each.

“Ferdinand at this point it all just tastes like tea.” Byleth said, laying down her recently emptied glass. She’d drank Rose Petal, Ginger, Albinean Berry, Four Spice, Sweet-Apple, and many many more. Ferdinand had given the history and cultural significance of each. The meals they suited, the regions they grew in. He clearly had much love of the topic. But Byleth couldn’t have told you one from the other.

“You really are making this difficult. Think of the aroma, the flavor, the nodes.” He tried.

“Tea. The aroma is tea. The flavor is tea. The nodes are tea.” She pushed the cup away earning a giggle from Petra.

“You wound me. However we must not give up! I’m sure we can find you a favorite flavor!” Ferdinand’s enthusiasm was not to be swayed.

“Careful Ferdie, you may push her to swear off tea all together.” Dorothea teased. Byleth nodded. Very possible at this point. He rubbed his chin as if he hadn’t heard her and was still focused on the task at hand.

“You haven’t cared for anything on the floral palette, nor the more earthy flavors.” He dug through his small tea box before pulling out a new bag of leaves. He wiped Byleth’s cup with a silk handkerchief before pouring the hot water and resting the leaves to steep.

“Perhaps you will like something more of the spiced variety.”

“I am being with the professor on this. Having too much of a thing, even if it is a good thing, will make the good thing less good.” Petra laughed. Byleth nodded again. She fought off a burp.

“Well as a noble it is my duty to help in situations where my expertise is best suited.” Byleth found herself chuckling at that. It had been a nice change for the afternoon. As full as she was, this was wildly preferable to sitting in a heap and replaying her memory of almost killing Catherine. Her students had come through for her in a time she had greatly needed them… so she managed a smile as he placed the fresh steaming cup in front of her.

She raised the glass and blew the steam, playing up smelling the aroma for Ferdinands sake, before finally taking a sip.

“Well, how is it?” Dorothea asked with a smile.

“It’s… good. Really good.” She said, surprising even herself. She took another sip. Yeah, she liked this one. It was kind of like Bergamont, kind of like cinnamon, kind of like the Angelic blend. She took another sip and nodded.

“I think… this is the one.” Ferdinand looked so giddy she thought his head may pop off his body.

“Really??” He asked in a higher register than usual. She nodded.

“I’ve had a lot of tea today. This is the only one I’d want to drink again.”

“This is to be congratulated! You have done it Professor!” Petra pumped her fist. Dorothea reached across the table and pulled the tea bag to read the ingredients. She squinted at the small print in the mostly dark space and an unmistakeable smile broke out.

“Well how bout that. Would you like to know what your favorite flavor is?” She asked. Byleth nodded, and Dorothea offered her the bag. Byleth looked at the letters printed on the side.

_Hrsvelg Blend_

A goofy little smile spread on her lips.

“Guess you’ve developed a taste for _that_ flavor.” Dorothea winked. Ferdinand excitedly launched into his tea time trivia, thankfully eclipsing the blush on Byleth’s cheeks.

“Ahh the Hrsvelg Blend! Mixed for the royal family originally. The ingredients used to be far more expensive and sought after, but slowly became beloved by many of the Empire inhabitants. It is often drunk on special occasions like the start of a new moon or offered to foreign officials as a sign of peace.”

He continued talking but all Byleth could think was of the smile under those lilac eyes. And sharing this cup with someone who’s proximity would make it taste even better.

**********************************************

Edelgard had trekked for miles with Shamir on her back. She kept her breathing focused and did her best not to jostle the archer, aggravating any substantial injury. It had been hours since the attack, and she had kept them off the main path to avoid any other potential traps. _The hell had that been?_ Was it merely bandits? An unlucky encounter? Or something more? Luckily after their initial escape she hadn’t heard a single footstep or snapping twig or leaf out of place. Now, as nightfall was descending she thought to finally allow herself to rest. Going on foot instead of horseback would delay them a day at least from the capital, they’d need to make camp. And she needed to check the extent of Shamir’s injuries.

She propped the knight down against a tree and counted her lucky stars that Manuela had taught her a scarce amount of healing magic, though she hadn’t anticipated needing it so soon. The archer’s breathing was soft and steady, her leg still had half an arrow sticking out of it. That would need to be removed. Her shoulder looked out of place. Probably damaged on the landing. She reached out tentatively toward her collarbone, and a hand quickly shot up to grab her wrist on reflex.

“The hell…” Shamir had startled herself awake, her eyes flickering into focus.

“You’re ok. It’s just me, Edelgard.” She spoke slowly, calmly, holding up her other hand to show she wasn’t an enemy.

“Shit…” She said, releasing her wrist and grimacing at her shoulder, cupping her hand gingerly around the joint. “You- how did we get here?”

“I carried you.”

“You carried me all the way out here?”

“Yes, we were cut off from the rest of your unit. A tree collapsed-“

“YOU. The Emperor, carried _me_ through the entire afternoon.” She said it as a statement, but there was such confusion in her eyes.

“Yes, why are you people always surprised by this?”

“You people?” Shamir raised an eyebrow, but seemed to understand almost immediately. “You mean Eisner.” Edelgard blushed slightly. She did.

“Why is it expected that I abandon my allies at the first sign of trouble?” She was slightly flustered, mostly frustrated, thinking about the societal implications to her question.

“Because.” Shamir almost laughed, but merely shook her head. They sat in silence a moment until Shamir spoke again.

“I told you to run. Why didn’t you?”

“If you’re asking why didn’t I leave you for dead… the answer is because that would be cruel. You are my ally, I could help, I did.” She said, a frown forming on her regal features.

“It wouldn’t be cruel, it would be business…” She said straightforwardly. Still eyeing Edelgard with curiousity. The Emperor herself sighed at the comment.

“Business shouldn’t be conducted like that. I know it is but… It shouldn’t.”

Shamir looked at her with a slight smirk, assessing the young Emperor before her.

“Eisner sure knows how to pick em.”

**********************************************

The morning came quick and Byleth found herself marching out with the Golden Deer and a cart of supplies toward Remire. The students were energetic, if not a bit of a handful. She had had countless interactions with them over the school year, but this was the first time out in the field with with them. She was entertained, but not surprised by her findings.

Claude and Hilda, being the loudest personalities were happy to lead the charge from the front, taking bets on who at the monastery would win ridiculous superlatives like “most likely to fall asleep on a horse” (which was highly contested but ultimately agreed upon as Ingrid) or “able to shatter a glass with their voice” (which ended up being a tie between Caspar and Dorothea.) Marianne stared at her feet for majority of the trip with her hands clasped together until Hilda took one and skipped with her, causing Marianne to blush. It brought a smile to Byleth’s face. _Of course…_ She should have seen it before. They made a good couple.

Leonie and Raphael were running ridiculous competitions the whole walk. Who could hit more beehives with rocks, who could dig the deepest hole before the convoy was out of sight, who could throw Claude further. Byleth had to break up some of the more physical and ridiculous ones. Lorenz would butt in with his opinions on nobility whenever he deemed necessary. Ignatz stared at the sky with a gentle smile, occasionally moving his finger across a patch as if drawing it in his memory. Lysithea kept up with the group, but kept her nose buried in a tome for the most part. Rolling her eyes occasionally at some of their antics, though there was clear fondness for her friends. Byleth had almost lost her a few times, being a good head shorter than the rest, but luckily her white hair reflected the sun as a clear landmark. In an almost familiar way that made her think of-

…

…

wait…

…

no…

no it couldn’t be…

Her eyes went wide and she found herself turning to look at the mage constantly the rest of the trip. The question blooming in her chest and at the tip of her tongue frightened her.

After they’d arrived in the village distributing the supplies didn’t take long. The group was efficient and the villagers endlessly grateful. When they’d finished Raphael and Leonie had decided to put Lorenz and Ignatz in the empty boxes and carry them in a race through the town square. Claude played ringmaster and entertained the crowds, weaving a tale of the fictional stakes attached to the impromptu display. Hilda had sat with Marianne in the corner rolling her eyes and gossiping about something else, while filing her nails. Byleth let the students put on their little show as she finally found Lysithea at the edge of the crowd, still reading. Her eyes scanning the page, lips subtly mouthing the words as she went.

She had known little of the young girl besides her fear of ghosts, her love of sweets, and her incredible knack for magic. It was clearly something she had worked on diligently. But right now… she felt her left hand shake, felt the saw in her leg... Right now she needed to know why her hair was white.

“Lysithea...” She approached the girl, who held up a finger as she finished her page before marking the number and closing the book.

“Yes professor? Did you need something?” She turned her eyes to her and Byleth noticed for the first time how strong they looked. Seasoned. Sothis had been right… you could always tell when people were hurting.

“Could you come with me?” Byleth asked. Lysithea gave her a look, letting her know the questions was strange, but she nodded and accepted. Byleth walked them a little further from the square, out of sight of the group but not far off.

“Lysithea… is that your natural hair color?” She asked with none of the poise or tact she’d meant to. And as she watched her relaxed expression evolved into something guarded and confused… she got her answer. The fear of a foreign memory sunk into her eyes and she placed walls immediately to keep them at bay.

“I’m… I don’t… why would you…” She took a step back as if she would run from the conversation. Byleth knew she was pushing her, but she had to know.

“It’s ok. Can you tell me… if you recognize this symbol?” She bent on a knee and traced several lines in the dirt. A spiraled star… the sign of the Agarthians. The very emblem they had tried to brand her with, and that El had endured and carried since youth.

The pain that creeped over Lysithea’s face as she finished the drawing... the way her lips parted to speak or scream or cry but to no avail. And the way… the way she reached up and laid her hand over her shoulder… the same shoulder where Edelgard bore the symbol…

It was all too much, and without thinking Byleth reached forward and embraced the young girl. She received her back, tightly. Her breathing becoming shaky. Byleth hadn’t expected there to be others. But of course, she should have.

“You… you know about them?” She finally asked, her tone still airy.

“I do. They’re the ones that took me... they’re gone now... most of them.” She offered slowly.

“Do you… bear the mark now too?” She asked softer. Byleth shook her head.

“No. I was lucky. Edelgard saved me.”

“Edelgard was there too…” She heard Lysithea gasp and pull back. Realization dawning. “Edelgard… is she… like me?”

“HEY! You two! Over there!” Claude yelled to them through cupped hands and pointing at the opposite end of the village. Byleth released her shoulders and gave her a consoling nod, letting her know they had more to discuss, before running to where Claude stood. She looked where he gestured and saw a small group of soldiers stumbling toward the town. They were half leaning on each other, limping, and with blood staining their armor. Byleth recognized them immediately. Nerves struck. Even from a distance she knew… those were the guards that had been sent with El.

**********************************************

Shamir had reluctantly agreed to let Edelgard heal her injuries, though insisting that it wasn’t necessary. Edelgard had dismissed her protests and focused on the task. Removing the arrow had not been fun. Shamir took it with silence as it was removed, though the amount of blood that came after reminded how serious an injury it was. Her shoulder had luckily been dislocated not destroyed, and Edelgard had been sparring long enough to know how to pop it back in place. Though the swelling and stress of it would make it hard for her to wield a bow for the short term.

Now here they were the next day, sun high in the sky and baking on their backs as they trudged off path toward the capital. She offered Shamir breaks every few hours when she’d notice her limp becoming exaggerated, though she promptly refused each time. Edelgard would then instead insist she was tired and needed a break to spare the mercenaries pride. By the third or fourth time she was sure Shamir was onto her.

“Tell me something your Majesty…” She said as they were paused for one of these breaks. “What is your relationship with Eisner?"

Edelgard's eyes widened, and she looked away. Shamir breathed a laugh as she leaned against a tree in the shade.

“It’s nothing."

“ _Nothing_ doesn’t make her grin ear to ear like a dumbass. In fact, before whatever this is with you, don’t think she grinned much at all.” Shamir said casually. She was right. It had been so easy to forget that Byleth used to be distant and unexpressive. She’d always seemed the opposite of that to Edelgard. She may have been vague and subdued... but now... She’d been... affectionate... enthusiastic... open... there was so much to her. So much more than others got to see... and part of her was glad it was only meant for her.

She realized she had been staring during all of this time, and a blush crept to her cheeks as Shamir breathed another laugh, shaking her head.

“Apparently this ‘nothing' makes you grin as well.” She looked thoughtful, and something a little more sincere came over her. “I’m glad for her. Glad for you both. For as long as it lasts.” Well that last part felt cryptic.

“Whatever do you mean by that?” She asked, testing the waters. Shamir squinted with a sigh.

“Not what you’re thinking I mean. It’s not about position, or rank... though you surely didn’t make it easy. I just... don’t ever expect anything good to last... not anymore.” Her voice was reflective. The next question on Edelgard’s mind felt personal... but the whole conversation had crossed that boundary from the start.

“Did you... lose someone... that made you grin?” Edelgard asked, and Shamir’s eyes betrayed her initial surprise and sadness before returning to practiced neutral. A silence passed between them, and Edelgard thought she’d pushed too far.

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to-"

“It was during the war.” She answered. "War takes many things from many people.” Her tone was casual, but Edelgard could sense how hard this was for her. “And it took him.” Shamir finished, staring deeply at a patch of grass.

“I’m sorry.” She let the words sit between them before continuing. “I... almost lost her before I got to see her grin... and before I knew how much she could make me in turn. I don’t know what this is yet... but I hope it lasts.” She thought Shamir’s vulnerability deserved some in turn.

“Does that answer your question?” She finished.

“Yes your Majesty.” As expressionless as ever, but her tone had lightened… ever so slightly.

“Edelgard.” She corrected. “Edelgard will be fine.”

“Very well. Edelgard.”

The rest of the trip had a different air about it. Shamir wasn’t exactly chatty, but she had opened up, by her standards. She mentioned the unusual training regiment she kept with throwing knives and bugs, as well as other missions and Adrestian nobles she’d come into contact with in her previous line of work. She even relented to asking for a break the next time her leg bothered her. Edelgard was pleased to get to see the person behind the bow.

They finally arrived at the gate to the city long after the sun had set. Seeing the lights dotting the skyline, the silhouette of the buildings that had been her home, was all very rewarding given their long day. She sighed, contentedly as they neared the patrolmen.

“Thank you for escorting me Shamir. I hope you can afford to stay a few days and recover properly?”

“Afraid not. This mission has already set me back. I’ll have to take off as soon as I can.” Edelgard understood but didn’t like the idea of her ally running off ragged.

“You should at least stay the night. We’ll have a warm meal prepared and a room, and perhaps a healer can take a look at your leg.” Shamir smirked at the offer.

“You’re really going out of your way for me.”

“I hardly think so…” Her voice trailed off as the patrol guards came into focus. Their armor… the markings on their chest plates… her apprehension spiked. _No… This shouldn’t be possible…_

Shamir walked another few steps before sensing her discomfort and turning back to her.

“Everything alright?”

“No… I don’t think it is.”

The guards drew their swords and pointed toward them.

“The hell?!” Shamir called out, grabbing for her dagger.

“Wouldn’t do that if I were you…” One of the guards called out, muffled and metallic as his voice echoed from behind the dark helmet. He pointed to the top of the patrol tower lining the outside of the city and there were half a dozen bows trained on them. Edelgard nodded toward Shamir. _If they wanted them dead they’d already be dead._ She slowly moved her hand away from the dagger, understanding the situation.

Edelgard took a tentative step forward. She stood as straight as she could, but her insides were shaking. In the dim light she’d almost missed the terribly familiar patterns… the ones that had taken her siblings… and tired to take Byleth.

“I presume you were expecting us.” Edelgard said, keeping her voice cold and calm. The same masked guard lowered his weapon and nodded.

“Indeed. The lady would like a word with you.”

**********************************************

“Byleth, I appreciate your concern-“

“I don’t think you do!” Byleth yelled back at the Archbishop. As soon as they’d returned from the mission she had left the soldiers with the students and sprinted to the audience chamber to tell her the news. But Rhea had not shared her sense of urgency.

“The Emperor was attacked, is missing, and may be dead."

“As I have told you, only Knights may depart on combat missions.” Her voice was stern. Dismissing. Irrevocable. “Bandit attacks qualify as combat. I’m sorry, I know what she means to you, but I will not authorize you to go after her. We still don’t know for certain what’s become of her or Shamir, and you are in no condition to undertake something like this.”

“Fine, don’t send me, but send someone! Send Catherine! Send Gilbert!” Byleth tried, her emotions weren’t usually this out of check, but she was feeling irrational. She should have gone with her. _Foolish. So foolish to let her go..._

“Gilbert has left for Arianhood to investigate personal matters, and Catherine is the only knight I currently have not injured, or on another assignment. I can not spare anyone, Byleth. We will wait for Shamir’s report. That is final.”

Byleth balled her hands into fists that could do nothing but shake. She let herself out. Anger bubbled through her like a pot of water overflowing and burning everything around her. But anger at herself mostly. She needed to calm down. But she didn’t want to. She wanted to know that Edelgard was safe.

She paced around the second floor, letting her feet carry her anywhere to avoid her thoughts. They threatened to suffocate her the second she stopped moving. She arrived at the far side of the hall toward the unused council room and turned back, weighing her options. When Rhea had denied Edelgard permission to seek her out, she did anyway. Now that the tables were turned the choice seemed obvious.

The sound of cracking glass drew her attention. She looked up at the far window and came to a stop. A fist came through the fractured pane and the glass skittered and spread across the floor. Someone- _no_ not someone, her **specter** was crawling in through the opening. _The hell… It was breaking windows now?_

Her body stalled as she stared, foreboding energy consuming her previous thoughts. It was… different… again, like the time she’d seen it in her room. Writhing unnaturally… its skin looking like corded bands of muscles. The armor it wore was torn and holed like a poor replica… She felt her forearm burn where it had cut her.

 _“Stay away from that thing…”_ Sothis’ concerned voice rang in her head.

“What is it?” She asked, voice breaking as she watched it plant its feet on the cobblestone ground. She saw right away.

It... cast… a… shadow.

Cold beads of sweat slid down her back.

“Professor! There you are!“ Dorothea and Caspar came running down the adjacent hall toward her.

“We’ve been looking for you, we heard abou- _huh!_ ” They came to a stop with a gasp at her side, fixedly staring down the hall toward her specter.

 _“What is that?”_ The fear in her voice was immediate.

Dread. Pure dread took over Byleth as she kept her eyes trained on it.

“You see it too?”

“Yeah… but what… what are we seeing?” Caspar asked, his usual confidence nowhere to be found.

The phantom soldier stood with her head hung at an awkward angle, the blue eyes practically growling. They were bright… but… empty. Like an agitated animal, ready to hunt.

From behind it… a second gray hand grabbed onto the brick and started crawling through the window. Another ashen Byleth... same eyes. Same empty glare.

“Run.” Byleth said to her students, backing up slowly and holding up an arm in front of them. The first soldier unsheathed a dagger and an inhuman hiss spilled out in their direction.

“RUN.” She repeated, and they turned on their heels and sprinted down the hall as the hissing grew and echoed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... so... shit.
> 
> Love to hear what you think is happening, who’s the lady, the fuck is Byleth seeing?  
> WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT???
> 
> Remains to be seen!  
> Also if you’re still reading this story, thanks for that! The deeper I get into this the further I see how different it is from Stockholm, but it feels like a natural evolution so we went this way. Hope you still find it enjoyable :)


	6. Everything is Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth faces her phantoms  
> Edelgard faces her usurpers  
> Shit goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, guys, guys, this chapter is crazy. This is my battle of winterfell. This is gonna be nuts. Get. Ready. To. Worry.

**Part 6 - After Stockholm**

Edelgard and Shamir were escorted by a small convoy of armored guards down the lavish halls of the Enbarr palace.

Her palace.

The home she’d spent her childhood in… and now being paraded through as a prisoner. On the outside she was expressionless. Resolute, and the slightest shade of disapproving. But internally she was seething. _How could this have happened? How did she not see it coming?_ It all made sense. Her father’s passing… her supposed funeral… Hubert’s letters that never came…

A quick glance at her companion showed Shamir had the slightest limp in her gait, though her face was impassive as ever. Their eyes met briefly and she caught the mercenary furrowing her brow. She wasn’t an idiot, she knew the stakes. This was bad, and they’d have to play their cards perfectly to live through it. Especially if _she_ was here.

They entered into the throne room, the last place she’d seen her father alive. She remembered still the look in his eyes when he had passed on the crown. There had been sadness... surely this was a memory and a burden he wished not to pass... but the obvious pride... the relief of having a capable child to relieve him of it had been painted all over his emaciated face. She stifled that memory as the large mahogany doors swung open, rippling with an echo that sounded to her tense ears like a firing squad.

“Well well, I wondered when you would finally arrive.” The lady herself spoke from her seat at the ornate throne of the Emperor. Edelgard locked eyes with all the scathing energy she could muster.

_Cornelia_. The Lady of Arianhood. Her salmon pink hair cascaded around her exposed neck line. The gold crown of Adrestia atop it. Her smile… so superior… so smug.

She had a battalion of knights around the room in the same dark armor Edelgard had come to despise.

“Yes, we’d have been here sooner but we ran into trouble along the way… I believe we have you to thank for that?” Edelgard bit back, masking it behind a tone of formality.

The woman smiled with a sparkle of madness. She was well known in the lands as the gifted healer who had saved Fhirdiad from a plague of sickness decades ago. And she was rewarded with the authority to rule over the Silver Maiden itself, the Kingdom’s fortress city. What was less known was that her ilk were the very ones that unleashed the plague, setting the stage for her grand arrival.

“Harmless enough fun. Just needed to thin your numbers.” She turned her attention ever so slightly to Shamir. “Couldn’t have you storming in here with a full battalion and misplaced confidence.”

“Though I suppose if I had perished it would have been just as beneficial. You’ve, apparently, already buried me.” Now her tone challenged, and the mad smile returned, showing the glint of teeth.

“Well we couldn’t be sure…” She carried a taunt of innocence, as if speaking to a child. Edelgard was used to nobles looking down on her in this way, they just weren’t usually sitting in her damn throne when they did it. Not that she wanted the mantle, but this was far from the out she’d been looking for. This was treacherous.

“And I believe you know that if we wanted you dead… you’d have already shared the same fate as Thales.” Cornelia practically purred.

_So she knows about Thales…_

“Speaking of…” Her mad smile changed into one that was knowingly plotting trap falls. “Whatever did happen to our dear friend in that damnable dungeon? I hear that wretched Fell Star gutted the poor fool.”

Ohh she was treading into dangerous waters. She’d have to watch her footing.

“Something like that. He was overconfident… arrogant… and let his guard down around the wrong pawn.” All facts. Cornelia leaned forward in her seat, hand under her chin.

“I see… only… you and I both know that’s not the whole story, don’t we?” All the performance had left her voice. She spoke as sharp as the dagger Edelgard had run her uncle through with.

“What more matters?” She rebutted flatly.

“How about your attachment to the test subject?” Perhaps they already knew… And if they did it mattered not how carefully she tread, she would be trapped.

“Attachment?” She responded unconvincingly. Cornelia tisked her tongue and shook her head.

“It’s rather obvious dear… Solon’s reports on your behavior, his sudden death, her escape. All of that paints a rather incriminating image…”

She rose from her throne and came down the few stairs to stand before Edelgard. She reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind Edelgard’s ear. An act of dominance. She turned away, brushing off the contact.

“The cherry on top was our spies at Garreg Mach telling me of the little stunt pulled at the gate. A kiss goodbye…” Her eyes danced with that madness, parading it as victory. “How quaint.”

And so the act was up. Cornelia shook her head, mockingly disapproving, and stepped away toward the throne.

“None of that has anything to do with why you are seated on my throne.” Edelgard tried to divert. It was clear she had already been sussed out, she needed information. This earned a laugh from Cornelia as she settled back into the red cushions and peered down at her yet again.

“Opportunity.” She responded. “We are planning a war after all, and with our Flame Emperor disappearing…” Shamir’s eyes raised. “And with her loyalty being called into question we had to make arrangements.”

“Loyalty…” Edelgard smirked and shook her head. “Is that what you’d call our dynamic?”

“Why but of course. What other word would you use? You’ve done as instructed while working toward our shared ideals. At least, until this distraction showed up.” _Distraction._ She narrowed her eyes at the phrase. They meant Byleth.

“How about subjugated? You know full well our alliance was always temporary… I could never stand your kind.” They had already decided her fate, the noose was around her neck, why not speak her mind?

“Ouch.” She said with a faux pout. “And here I thought we were like family.”

She sat a moment assessing Edelgard before smiling once more, dastardly.

“You’re right of course. You’re a traitorous rat, and should die as one. However… you may still be of use.” That mad smile… all teeth. All triumphant ill-intent, no longer masked along her smooth features. “The few soldiers let go at the end of your road skirmish should have alerted the Fell Star that something was wrong by now. I wonder what she would do, _what she would give_ , in return for your safety.”

Edelgard felt her pulse quicken. She was to be… bait.

“That is of course, presuming she passes her own test.”

Her stomach churned.

“She will see our true capabilities... and how senseless resisting us is.”

_What?_ Had they attacked the Monastery? Had they attacked her?

Her mind raced to all the worst case scenarios. But, she breathed deep and composed herself against all her intuitions. This was their plan. Get her off guard. Get in her head. She wouldn’t play. She stood straight as she addressed them.

“Then you are fools to think such inept tactics would work on her.” Edelgard responded. “She’s not the type to run from a challenge.”

**********************************************

Byleth was running down the hall with her students in step as the ominous hissing echoed behind her. She chanced a look over her shoulder and saw the phantoms- _no_ they were more than phantoms now. They were real. They were her. And they were… many. She counted at least six filing down the corridor after them. Their motions were jerky, unnatural, their bodies stooped as if they couldn’t support their own forms. And their jaws hung open, screeching out their inhuman wails.

“Professor, wha-“

“Just keep going!” She called out, cutting off Caspar’s question. They passed the audience chambers toward the second floor dorms and the window in their path shattered, a gray fist punching through. They skid to a halt, and as the face of the Ashen in the window turned to hiss at them Byleth blasted a ball of fire from her palms. The Ashen merely flinched at the impact… the flames having no effect.

_You can’t burn ashes._

She didn’t know why she knew that, but these things (whatever they were) being fireproof didn’t surprise her. Byleth did the next best thing and punched it in the neck, sending it flying back through the window. She shook the residual flames off her hand.

“GO!” She commanded, and they pushed past the scattered glass toward the second floor dorms. She looked over her shoulder and saw the mass that had pursued them closing in around the corner.

Caspar grabbed the door first and threw it open- and was met with another group of Ashen, hissing and winding up their daggers. He gasped, startled, and Byleth moved quick to grab the back of his coat and pull him back from the outstretched slash, before kicking the door into the enemies form. It shrieked out at the impact and she put her shoulder into the slab of wood, closing off the frame and pressing her back against it to hold it closed. _This would only hold momentarily_ , she thought as the thumps rang out on the other side. Her eyes were wild. Her mind scrambling. _What the fuck… what the fuck… what do we do?_ Her students looked as scared as she felt. Behind them she saw the incoming Ashen flooding the hall.

Fists punched through the wood. Daggers caught her sides. She grimaced. These things hurt.

“Don’t let them close to you.” She barked out. Dorothea nodded bravely, and turned with a Thoron spell sizzling on her fingertips. Caspar leaned his weight on the door with Byleth and Dorothea shot off spell after spell, falling the Ashen. As the spell collided with them, they’d cry out in a high frequency, like an eagle on the hunt, dissolving into ashes floating about the air. The former opera singer focused in, continuing her onslaught through the dizzying state of events. They came closer, faster. She didn’t miss a step, but she’d be overrun on her own.

“Caspar hold the door.” Byleth commanded and he nodded, puffing out his chest. She pulled forward and fired off a wind spell she’d recently learned with Annette. It knocked the closest enemies away and she rushed forward and kicked off those that had gotten too close to the student. A dagger came at her and she caught it in her forearm with a grunt and kicked the wielder back, pulling the blade from her bleeding arm. It burned where it had cut. These daggers were something awful. She saw a lightning spell pulsate through the foe to her front and Dorothea reached for her wrist.

“You ok?” She was not. Her senses were fried. Overstimulated. Unfocused. Her hand still clutched the dagger and her fingers shook around the hilt.

“We can get through this.” Dorothea said resolutely, not taking her eyes off the Ashen foe.

Byleth snapped to and saw Caspar holding the door, grunting as arms trying to clutch at him through the splintered holes. She blasted another gale spell down the hall, putting more distance between Dorothea and her foes, suffering a quick slash to her own arm in the backfire of the wind. _Not perfected that one yet._

“Buy me a minute.” She told her, releasing her hand and running toward the door. She sliced the arms that tugged at Caspar with the stolen dagger. The cries of the Ashen rung out like high pitched whines, and once she freed him she shoved the dagger into the door frame to block the pathway.

“You ok?” Caspar’s eyes were blown wide, his frame shaking slightly, but he nodded. His cheek had been scratched, a few red lines, but he had survived the worst of it. The door still thudded and creaked. They were inching closer to breaking through. She saw the hinges creak under the continued assault.

More were coming toward Dorothea, who was tiring. And there were still so _fucking_ many of them.

It was endless… but all the same Byleth tried to ready for another bout-

And then a light tore through the hall, enveloping all of the beasts. She rapidly wrapped an arm around Dorothea, pulling her and Caspar to the ground and throwing her body over them. The blast continued through the door and eviscerating the Ashen on the other side. When she looked up she saw ashes cascading down, floating through the space, and Rhea’s hardened expression from the door to the audience chamber.

“Professor, are you alright?” She asked, her voice rigid. Focused. Like a general on a warfront. A way that Byleth had never seen her. She nodded and rose gingerly off her students, pulling them back up their feet. Her arm still burned from where she’d been stabbed. Like liquid magma in her veins. She assessed the two students quickly and saw they were physically unharmed, but the way they looked at her let them know the deeper damage had been done. The question in their eyes that they couldn’t ask… burning worse than her cut. While they wondered why the hell gray versions of their teacher were trying to stab them, she found herself contemplating the same thing. Rhea mercifully brought them back to the greater task at hand.

“Hurry. We must keep moving. There are more of them.”

**********************************************

There was no victory to be had in telling off Cornelia, only a feeble attempt at maintaining some kind of control. Something Edelgard was loathe to ever release. Though a moment later she was reminded how little she had when the Faux Emperor turned her attention to Shamir.

Two guards grabbed her by either shoulder and forced the archer to her knees, a lance against her neck.

“Stop this Cornelia. Killing her gains you nothing.” Edelgard protested.

“You certainly are developing a type, aren’t you Flame Emperor?” Her eyes cackled at her. “You’re quite right, I don’t _need_ to kill her... and if you promise to be a good girl, I may even allow you to keep your little friend. Can you do that for me? Can you be a good girl?” Her voice felt like nails running down a chalkboard. She nodded blankly, but Cornelia shook her head.

“That wont do darling, I’d like to hear you.” She held up a hand to her ear and leaned in, further ridiculing her and the lack of power she held in the moment. Her and her uncle really were two of a kind. She grit her teeth behind her veil of compliance.

“I can be a good girl. Please don’t hurt her.” She said dispassionately. It was her finest performance. Her pride could be set aside for their safety... for the time being. Cornelia smiled at her submission and gave the order. The guards pulled Shamir back to her feet.

“Well I’m simply famished. Shall we adjourn to dinner?”

They were shown to the dining room and the grand table with two people Edelgard instantly despised already seated and awaiting them. Marquess Vestra and Duke Aegir. The Duke smiled rather smugly upon her arrival, his incarceration apparently lifted, while his companion kept his typical stoicism. Hubert could rarely be called warm, but his father was 10 steps colder.

Of course these two would have helped her rise to power in Enbarr, just as they had helped her kind in the past.

She was sat next to Cornelia, who took the head of the table (her fathers spot) while Shamir was taken toward the far end of the table, and sat with her hands on the table and two guards with blades at her back. She looked almost disinterested in the current circumstance.

Edelgard turned to face the former court of Adrestia, and her fathers perpetrators. These two had had a direct hand in many of her families tragedies, from stripping the Emperor’s power, to handing her siblings over to her uncle for what would be fatal experiments…

“I presume your son will not be joining us?” She spited toward Marquess Vestra, who merely scoffed and shook his head. It almost amazed her how allies as loyal as Ferdinand and Hubert could have come from kin such as this. The literal scum of the earth, in her eyes.

“I’m afraid he is a bit ‘indisposed’ at the moment.” Cornelia offered with her frustratingly knowing expression. But, she hadn’t said dead…

“Perhaps you’ll see him later, when _you’re_ locked up for a change.” The Duke sneered, enjoying the change in their situations since the last time they’d seen each other. Cornelia shot him a warning glance.

“For a change…” Edelgard merely derided. “So quick to forget ones crimes.” She said, pointedly in his direction, and he shifted almost uncomfortably in his seat, clearing his throat. She was having to swallow a lot of pills right now… but this portly bastard’s gloating would not be one of them.

A group of housemaids appeared moments later from the kitchen to serve dinner. They sat in a tense silence as the bowls of salad were set, and glasses of wine were poured. Shamir was not served. Edelgard noticed the servants hands shaking, and sadly wondered what the working class had been treated like during this mutiny. She could imagine anyone who spoke up was dealt with… in an unsavory manner. Cornelia picked up her wine glass and circled the red liquid slowly, eyeing Edelgard while she did.

“Now… Flame Emperor, you’ve seen our subject in action. Surely there must be some useful information you can offer.”

Edelgard stared back, sharp and indignant. They were asking her to betray Byleth. _As if_.

“I doubt anything you and your spy network don’t already know.” She said cooly. Cornelia tisked her tongue and looked down the table at the guards who nodded and dragged Shamir backward off her chair, crashing her into the hard floor and planting a lance against her chest. She stared back at the executioner with a defiant frown and cold set of eyes. Edelgard felt a knot in her stomach.

“Perhaps… you can rack your brain for _something_. We knew more before Solon’s notes went up in flames. There are some blanks you could fill in.” Cornelia was practically rolling her sentence, enjoying this far too much. Shamir turned to Edelgard, her gaze practically forbidding her from speaking on her account. Mercenaries, she was coming to find, valued loyalty above all else. If she spoke she’d be hurting Byleth… if she remained silent she’d allow Shamir to be hurt. She needed to find a third option. _Third option. Third option. Create a scene._

She stood up abruptly, causing a loud sound as the chair skid backwards, drawing all eyes to her for a second, and that was all the archer needed. She smirked, as she kicked out the knight’s ankle standing above her and rolled to the side, his ally thrusting his lance downward and coming up empty. Edelgard knew they had seconds, Cornelia already raising her hand to signal the troops, so she thought quick, channeled her crest to her fist (hoping she remembered how to do that) and smashed the table, cracking the wood and sending the glasses and plates up in a flurry. Wine and romaine flying though the air. The Duke was knocked back out of his chair, the room set in confusion.

Enough for Shamir to get to her feet, overpower one knight, take his lance, and stab into the foot of his comrade. With a slight head start she bee-lined toward the far hallway.

The former Emperor was still protected. Still needed. She was not, and the longer they were kept together the more threats that would befall her. This was the best way forward. So she ran, disappearing around the corner with the recovered troops giving chase, the metal clank of their armor resonating down the corridor.

Cornelia exhaled sharply, wiping a piece of lettuce from her collar, and turned with the first crack in her presumed supremacy toward Edelgard.

“You are playing with fire little girl, and it is time you remember what it feels like to be _burned.”_ She rose to her feet and gestured to the remaining soldiers to grab her wrists and pin them behind her. She winced at the force.

“Scramble the rest of the guards. Find the archer. _Kill_ her. Bring me her head. I fear we’ve been too hospitable, and I intend to remedy that.” Her voice was menacing, the appearance of a glamorous leader she liked to hold, all but gone. Her madness on display. She walked up to Edelgard and forcefully took her cheeks between her thumb and fingers.

“We merely need you alive, not all in one piece. Take her away. I will join you shortly.”

**********************************************

As soon as they’d descended the stairs to the courtyard they’d split from the Archbishop. She’d darted off to gather the knights and made some statement about protecting the mausoleum. Byleth’s priority was the students. But she needed a weapon. She needed a plan. She needed a damn clue. Her fists were balled and shaking. If anyone was killed by these things… their blood would be on her hands. Literally.

“You two, go by the dorms. Make sure Bernadetta’s ok. Arm yourselves and hole up in a room together.” She commanded the two still at her side. An immediate protest formed.

“And leave you with these things?”

“Yeah we can help! We can fight!”

“Please just do this for me. You’ve endured enough today.” She said pleadingly. Her usually impassive eyes must have conveyed her the franticness she was feeling… for they did not retort, instead nodding and taking off along the raised platform toward the commoner dorms. Dorothea quickly gasped and launched a blast toward a small group of beasts attacking a fallen student- _Ashe_. Shit.

Byleth sprinted toward them. Dorothea’s blast had taken out two of the three, and the boy managed to kick the third back from his place on the ground, briefly putting some distance between them and clutching his other leg close to his chest. A nasty trail of blood poured out from where he’d taken injury. Caspar converged immediately and tackled the stumbling Ashen to the floor, grabbing a rock and smashing it into the side of its head. It gurgled out as its skull rebounded off the pavement and withered away to a gray pile. Byleth would have to pat him on the back later. She grabbed Ashe’s arm and pulled him up to a standing position. He tried to stifle a cry of pain. Caspar was at his other side a moment later and supporting the bulk of his weight with his arm over his shoulder.

“P-Professor,” He groaned as his leg shook under him. “What’s happening?”

“Don’t know. But Caspar and Dorothea are going to get you to safety, ok?” She nodded at Caspar and he understood. Ashe was in too much pain to protest. The two started hobbling toward the dorms, the Blue Lions archer groaning under each step. His injury was bad. She felt her own still burning, and was glad Dorothea was going with them. The songstress blasted away another Ashen in their path before supporting Ashe’s other side, and they were off.

What to do next? Too many possibilities. Too many factors to consider. Too many of these _things_. She looked around and saw some students retreating toward the cafeteria, hordes close on their tail. Annette stumbled and one of the things was almost on her, but Felix parried quick and savagely, impaling it on the end of his blade before kicking it free and snowballing it down the stairs, collapsing more of them. Dimitri appeared next to him with his lance and an almost… crazed look on his face. That group could manage together, they had the high ground.

Her mind raced to the rest of her Eagles. Petra, Linhardt, and Ferdinand were still unaccounted for. She sprinted toward the training grounds. That seemed as likely a place as any. She looked ahead and saw a kid crying out as it sat still on the ground, holding its hands up at the incoming assailant. Her nerves fired off and she dove, catching the kid in her arm and rolling under the blade, then turning and firing a blast of wind at the Ashen attacker. It went flying through the air and collapsed in a broken heap, but snapped the attention of others who started moving in. The crying child gripped her shirt tighter than a vise. She felt the magic swirl on the end of the fingers as her defensive compulsions took hold… Then saw arrow after arrow launch into the oncomers.

The projectiles caught them in the legs, the necks, the arms. They wailed out in shrill pain and crumbled to cinders, and she caught sight of Leonie and Petra 50 yards from her, firing line after line.

“Professor! Please to be hurrying toward us!” Petra called out.

She held the child closer and ran in their direction as they covered her. She spotted an Ashen appearing behind them.

“DUCK.” She commanded and they both obeyed as she launched a rapid wind spell, sending the assailant flying back. Petra was quick on the fire and turned to plant an arrow in its chest before it could even hit the ground.

“You two need to get-“

“Please don’t try the get to safety speech. We’re not going anywhere.” Leonie said confidently, lacing another arrow and splitting an Ashen in two.

“This is what you have been making us the prepared for, Professor.” Petra added, pulling a dagger from her boot and throwing it at an Ashen pursuing a group of younger students down the adjacent path.

_This is NOTHING like what I’ve prepared you for_ , she was tempted to say. But they were holding their own… she just didn’t like leaving things to chance. Another series of arrows rained down from above and she looked to see Claude on his Wyvern, still smiling as he came to a landing. She could trust the three of them together. For now at least…

“Professor, good to see you. The ‘you’ you, not whatever the hell these are.” He said, semi-serious, semi-lighthearted but she saw his demeanor change when he noticed how tense she was.

“Don’t worry, we’ve got this. I’ll take the little one.” He added, gesturing at the kid in her hands. She nodded and the child moved to Claude’s outstretched arms.

“Let’s go get you to safety, huh?” She nodded into his shoulder and held on tight as they took off.

She noticed that the students quivers were running low.

“Have you seen Ferdinand or Linhardt?”

“Lin was being in the library. Ferdinand was near the classrooms with the other students.”

She nodded. Linhardt was probably fine, he’d have smartly hidden or barricaded himself in. Ferdinand had backup. She still needed a weapon. She decided to remedy that first.

“I’ll get you more arrows. Move toward the classrooms, we’ll meet up there.” They nodded.

“Any clue what’s going on?” Leonie called out, glancing at her sideways. She knew there were questions. This wasn’t a good look, and worse yet was probably somehow her fault.

“No. Move quick. Stay safe.” Petra nodded and Leonie accepted for the time. They broke off in their respective directions.

Byleth slammed the training doors open with force and urgency as she ran to the back wall where they kept the tools. She threw a quiver over either shoulder and took a training lance in hand. She thought the weapon that could keep the most distance would be of benefit. All of her nerves were still sizzling. Everything was pushing her toward the edge… but it felt as if she’d forgotten how to jump. She needed to get back to her students.

She turned back to the door and paused when a flash of purple smoke swirled from across the space. A warp spell. She held her tool in a death-like grip. Shit… was _he_ really behind this? A drove of Ashen stumbled through, easily twenty or so. This was how they’d gotten in…

At the end of the mass… a mage and a mercenary. She recognized the mage. He still had a slight limp to his gait, and Byleth took a moment of pride in knowing El’s wound had carried long-term damage. Then the moment was gone and she felt fear… beading down her back in cold drops. The Ashen moved toward her, their eyes looking emptier and emptier, their actions jerky and unnatural. Their daggers all pointed her direction.

“Well well well…” Myson spoke out, a crooked, confident smile on his face. “What do you think, Fell Star? Like what you see?” He held his arms out to gesture to the small force that continued swarming unevenly.

“Solon was busy these last few months. Nice to know his time wasn’t completely wasted… all that blood of yours went to good use.” Chills didn’t begin to explain the coldness she felt. Goosebumps pricked her skin. Her hands shook. That fuck had made these things out of _her._ They’d found a way to use her against her allies. She wanted to be angry… but… felt gripped instead by dismay. _Why was she so scared?_

Was this what she was? How others saw her? Her true nature?

“It’s amazing what a bit of dark magic can do, isn’t it?” Came a new voice from beside Myson. An assassin, based on his armor. It was decked in Imperial colors. She wondered if this was another strained ally of Edelgards. He looked positively jubilant with his crazed expression and brown choppy hair. “I can’t wait to feast.” He rubbed his hands together and pulled out twin daggers from his belt, tensing his shoulders in anticipation.

“Calm yourself Metodey. There’s no need to rush.”

“I’m not rushing, I’m _playing_. She’s right here after all… you would not deny me this, would you mage?” His daggers reflected his animosity as he licked his lips. Myson smirked a chuckle, and turned to push the large doors shut. He slid the wooden mechanism across the handles to bar it from the inside.

“Very well… she’s all yours. Wouldn’t want your fun interrupted.” He patted the wooden door once more, then summoning another purple swish of energy behind him. “But do not forget your true objective. And… try not to get yourself killed.” Myson added humorously to Metodey, before stepping through his warp portal and vanishing. _Coward_. She thought ruefully. He was the kind to start a fight… not finish it. Though right now… she worried she wouldn’t be able to either. She watched the assassin take his mark. Watched the Ashen hunch their forms. And they all pushed off toward her at once.

**********************************************

Edelgard walked with her prison escort, bringing her down a long pathway to some new form of intimidation meant to break her. For all their posturing, she knew their real goal was to get her to align with them once more. Her power, tact, and connections were one thing, but her true value lay as a scapegoat. Her partnership would allow them to get to the other side of the war maintaining their anonymity.

That didn’t mean they couldn’t do awful things to her along the way… but it did mean she would risk it to save her ally from something she knew would be far worse.

As she walked she held her head up, unwilling to show any fear. Not to these people. Not again.

A creak rang out, she looked up in time to see the line on the chandelier in the cross section cut, and it collapse a few steps in front of her, crushing two of the guards and throwing the rest into a panic. A blur of evergreen came running through the adjacent hall, and knocked one of the soldiers over the head with what looked like a book before throwing it at another and shouting out to Edelgard.

“Come on!”

_Shamir_. It was Shamir. As she ran one of the soldier she passed slashed out and caught her shoulder, but Edelgard kicked his leg out from behind and sprinted after Shamir, falling instep with her while the remaining soldiers lumbered around the wreckage in their armor.

She obscured the furniture behind her, strewing suits of armor, bookshelves, things off the wall. Anything to slow them in their pursuit. As they rounded a corner Shamir pulled her into a small door that lead to a pantry closet and closed it behind them.

She felt her heart racing in her chest, thudding like crazy either from the burst of adrenaline or cardio… or both.

Shamir stabbed a small dagger into the door frame below the handle, barring it from the inside. She held a hand up behind her against Edelgard’s chest, eyes still trained on the door. A silent sign to remain still. Footsteps approached in metallic thuds and she heard voices argue about which way to go. They were getting closer. Louder. They were right outside. Someone tried to push the handle open and Edelgard felt her breath halt. The door thudded against the dagger immediately that Shamir had left in the frame, and they grumbled something about it being locked before continuing on, hearing the metal thuds get quieter and quieter before disappearing all together.

Only at that point did Shamir sigh in relief, and relax her posture against what looked like a spice rack. In the unlit room it was hard to tell the extent of it, but Edelgard saw her injuries… she had some dark bruises forming along the side of her face and bottom of her jaw, and more concerning, a long slash across the front of her coat, drawing deepest near her hip. The archer pressed her palm over her fresh wound on her shoulder and pulled back to look at the stain already forming on her skin.

“You’re hurt.” Edelgard said, finding her voice.

“Which way is out?” She asked, ignoring the statement. Edelgard tried to remember the layout in her head.

“Right, though we’ll need to rejoin the main hallway at some point. We’re still several stories up. And we probably can’t take the most direct route, we’ll need to mislead them.” She glanced back at Shamir’s wounds and thought of her earlier distraction. “Though I suppose you’ve already been doing that.” Shamir half laughed, still leaning back and savoring the moment of rest.

“Is it true?” She asked, tone becoming serious. “Are you the Flame Emperor?”

“I was. I’m not anymore.” Edelgard answered without hesitation. The odds were still stacked against them, and she’d face the consequences later. They needed to trust each other. “There was a time I let these people hold power over me, and that became the identity I operated as.” They quieted a moment as they heard another sound in the hall. They strained to hear before ultimately dismissing it as nothing.

“And Eisner knows?” Shamir asked, breaking the silence again. Edelgard nodded.

“She’s the one who helped me break away.” The archer gave her a curious look and seemed to decide something in that moment.

“I’m going to double back as a distraction. Get yourself out of here.” She leaned forward and cracked her neck before pulling the dagger back from the door frame. She crouched by the handle and gripped the wrought iron, listening for bodies.

“That’s suicide. We stand a better chance together.” Edelgard responded, not accepting this strategy.

“You know that’s a lie.” Shamir almost laughed, she held out the handle of the dagger toward Edelgard, offering the tool. She shook her head.

“I’ll take the chance, don’t do this. You don’t have to protect me.” Shamir shook her head again.

“You still think I’m doing this because you’re a noble?” That surprised her, and it must have shown. She could see Shamir’s smirk through the non-light. “I owe you a debt. And I always pay my debts. Plus…” She sighed and reached back to take Edelgard’s wrist, placing that dagger handle into her palm, and closing her fingers around the hilt with her other.

“Say hi to Eisner for me.” She gave one last half-smirk then was gone... throwing the door open and sprinting back toward the hall they came down. There were yells and footsteps, and Edelgard stayed huddled in the shadowed closet until she heard nothing again. Her breathing caught in her throat, but she closed her eyes and calmed the waves of panic. She saw blood drops dotting the area Shamir had stood and the direction she’d gone. She gripped the dagger tighter. _They’ll kill her if they catch her..._ Edelgard hoped she’d stay a step ahead of them. But wouldn’t let her sacrifice go to waste.

**********************************************

Byleth was bleeding. A lot. Every knick and scratch from these things was like a flame spell tearing through her very being, and the battle had been unkind. Metodey was quick. If it had been one on one she could handle him easily, but he was tactically aiming his onslaught to force her back toward the Ashen that had broken off and were slowly surrounding her.

She was deflecting more than inflicting… and she couldn’t understand why… why was she so… damn… _AFRAID?_ Why couldn’t she fight back? But she saw Catherine’s skull fractured on the floor… saw Caspar gutted… saw herself biting a mans ear from his head… collapsing an entire room into the flames… and a slew of other atrocities she’d committed. Could she be that person again? Did she want to be? When she was fighting secluded like this… it made it harder to find that fire… she had become a better shield than sword. She _needed_ to be a sword. Why couldn’t she be a damn sword?

She felt another slice along her ribs and it burned deep. She grunted in dismay, and quickly turned with a wind spell, blowing back the beast, before rolling out of the way of another. She clutched against her bleeding insides, all her cells frying from the attack. She fought the fogginess coming from the pain… why couldn’t she push?

Another slice almost ended her, but she ducked back before summoning a flame spell and smashing her fist against the ground. The fire spurt out around her, knocking away all her foes from the mere shockwave of it. She knew the Ashen were fireproof, but Metodey wasn’t. Perhaps she could keep him at least at bay. Sure enough, the Ashen continued trudging toward her through the flames. She breathed heavy, leaned on one knee, tried to find her strength.

She looked up to take in the situation, to count the Ashen… and time seemed to stop… One of them looked different… _her specter_.

It was the one she’d seen on her date with Edelgard, at the base of the stairs, in the infirmary. Not like the cloud of monsters that writhed around her with predatory smiles.

The specter looked at her from across the room, head tilted, expression blank. The Ashen looked like darkness incarnate, masquerading in her flesh. The specter… looked like who she had been. She walked straight up to Byleth, kneeling in front of her with the same blank slate. Her clothes were not tarnished, her eyes not hostile, she was… tame compared to the beasts.

And she remembered… _she remembered_. This had been her past…

Edelgard’s words rang out to her.

_‘If it wants to hurt you, I will hurt it.’_

_‘It’s ok if it comes back.’_

_‘It’s ok to have different sides to yourself Byleth.’_

_’Does it cast a shadow?’_

She opened her eyes wider and looked at the specter and saw that indeed… there was no shadow… it wasn’t real… it couldn’t hurt her like the others. And she knew it wouldn’t.

It extended a hand to her… and she understood.

She had run from this part of her. Been scared of the possibilities that she’d hurt Edelgard, her students, anyone after she’d been pushed to her barest survival instincts. She had tried to be free… and maybe one day she could, truly, be done with this chapter of her life.

But not today.

_What do I want from you?_

She wanted her strength. No, needed it. She wanted to be able to protect. To protect she had to be in control. So today… she would be a weapon. But that didn’t mean that was all she would be.

Edelgard was right. She could have layers. Could have different sides… she could have a favorite tea flavor.

She reached out and took the offered hand that pulled her to her feet, looked the specter in its eyes, and felt her grip tighten on the lance. She took a deep breath and the specter was no longer in front of her. It was her. And she it.

She looked at the Ashen as time sped up. They came barreling through the flames, and she felt her instinctual wrath spread through her body. Felt her resolution strengthen to steel. She slid her right foot back and began.

_“We can do this Byleth.”_ She heard Sothis and she nodded. The time had come.

They were no match for her at her top form. She spun the lance about, creating distance, skewered a powerful thrust through one, two, three Ashen that cried out and became piles of burnt embers in the remaining flames. She bashed away the incoming attacks, not sparing a second glance. She felt her senses on full alert and in a familiar pattern of parry, attack, dodge, slash. She felt… strong. And maybe that was ok.

As the opponent around her withered and diminished Metodey came close again, his speed on display. Now he wanted to hurt. He left deep gashes in her wooden tool, but she was able to dodge. She was able to fight. She was able to throw him off balance and follow up with a roundhouse. When he pinned her leg against his side and pointed his sword she smirked... She jumped off her other foot and catapulted it into his chest, knocking him to the residual flames.

He clamored out of the heat, swatting at the burning embers on his skin and armor, and stumbled toward the wall. The remaining Ashen moved in but were no match, she skewered one then a second, grabbed the wrist as one tried to land an over head strike and snapped where the bones should be (not sure these things had bones) It screeched out before she kicked it across the room. Metodey sneered from the door. _His speed could be used to retreat as well._

“Well Fell Star… this has been fun, but I’ve got to go assess your handiwork.” He threw the door open and fled. _Another coward._ She thought as she gave chase. He wasn’t getting away.

As she burst through the door she saw that all the Ashen in the area were diverging in one direction, almost like a hive, while Metodey ran the other way. She knew he was trying to distract her, and with her leg already bleeding from earlier attacks, she knew she couldn’t catch him. She looked the other way and her heart sank.

Lysithea was kneeling over a hunched Raphael with both palms out and shaking. The Ashen swarmed toward her and Byleth… couldn’t get there in time. She ran and called out. Lysithea blasted spell after spell but one locked an elbow around her neck from behind. She cried out. Daggers rose all around her. Students fighting nearby cried out to her. Byleth felt numb… She saw the first dagger break skin, then another, then another, saw her blood spill forth… heard her screams of pain. NO.

Her mind shattered. Not her. She couldn’t fail _her._

And she reached for something she couldn’t see.

Felt it wind around her fingers all the same, and pulled.

The coldness seeped through her body, the world spun at a sickening pace and she found herself bursting through the door, again. A second chance.

Instead of watching Metodey she sprinted the other direction immediately, elbowing away Ashen that were in her path. She saw Lysithea shooting off several miasmas, weary and war-torn. She heard her classmates calling out to her. She looked at Raphael, who was grimacing on the floor. Several obvious wounds slashed across his frame. Then she saw the one from behind sneaking up and Byleth yelled out for the student to get down.

She did, lying over Raphael, and Byleth threw her shoddy weapon like a javelin, crest energy coursing through it. It lasered through every Ashen in the way and skewered the last deviant into a mist before colliding with the opposite wall and cratering the bricks. She followed it up by blasting a savage wind spell clearing the area, sending the gray demons flailing in all directions. Her body felt drained of energy, her vision fogging slightly. Pulling time had worn her more than she knew, and the blood loss was starting to get to her. She pushed on, until she was at Lysithea’s side

“Are you injured?” She asked, rushed, as she pulled the girl to her feet. She shook her head, tears forming in the corners of her heavy eyes.

“No, but Raph protected me. He’s hurt… I couldn’t just… leave him.” Byleth took her shoulder firmly.

“You did everything right. You have been so brave.” Lysithea nodded. It was easy to forget this girl was only 15. Byleth looked over her shoulder and saw the group of students backed into the Black Eagles classroom. Ferdinand and Sylvain stood at the door with lances, fending off the closest foes. Their expressions grit. Ferdie had a nasty gash across his forehead.

Leonie stood between them with few arrows left, and she saw behind them Ignatz sitting on the floor gripping his blood-soaked sleeve while Mercedes attempted to heal it.

“Can you clear a path?” She asked seriously and Lysithea wiped her face on her sleeve and nodded. The Ashen around her had started recovering to their feet, moving in, and she watched the young white haired mage rise, focus her energy, and unleash a ridiculously powerful Banshee spell, sending them back to the hell they came from. Byleth was impressed. She hadn’t even learned that spell yet. Though she saw the instant toll it took on the students body as she fell to a knee, panting, and Byleth caught her with a hand at her back. She charged a wind spell on her palm and burst it against the student, shooting her through the gap with a yelp of surprise. Leonie noticed her incoming and dropped her bow, receiving her fellow classmate in her arms. It knocked her off her feet but they both were safe. Byleth threw Raphael’s unconscious body over her shoulder with a groan and chugged toward the classroom. The Ashen that noticed started coming after the exposed target.

Petra picked up Leonie’s bow from behind the boys and laid cover fire. She heard them falling around her, heard their wails dangerously close, but couldn’t look up. Needed to concentrate on every step. Her knees shook.

She made it. She crossed through the door and Petra helped her ease the boy down on the floor. Ferdinand turned with a sigh of relief, but one of the beasts lunged at him. Byleth shot forward and intercepted the blade with her hand…

Her left hand…

The dagger sliced across her palms and two of her fingers. She felt the blood spurt and coat her hand, felt the blade hit the bone, felt red in her eyes as she cried out and grabbed the beast pulling them into a head butt that split her own forehead, but burst the beast into a flurry of dark remnants. She shook with agony, and Sylvain tried to pull her back into the room. Her whole body was tense and she seethed in pain… in sounds only akin to an animal. It took him and Ferdinand to move her and Petra closed the doors swiftly behind them, locking out the approaching Ashen. Lorenz, limping slightly, appeared and slid the board into place behind the handles, enforcing it and locking out the world. Byleth tried to get a grip, but couldn’t stop her labored breathing.

“Professor, you’re safe now.” Ferdinand offered. He sounded like he was underwater. Or she was. She couldn’t feel anything but the pain… Everything else was far away. Petra came forward and put her hands on both shoulders.

“Professor… Byleth… it is being the alright.”

She felt the saw severing the last of her ligaments.

“You are not at that place anymore.”

Smelled the damp cell.

“You are here.”

Heard the rats in the walls.

“You escaped. You and Edelgard.” _Edelgard._ The name was like a lighthouse in the dark sea. She felt the clouds break over her head. Felt the red dissipate. She was here in this room. With her students. Mercedes was at her side and gently placed both hands over hers that still bled and twitched.

“Is fine.” She managed. “Help him.” She nodded toward where Lorenz and Sylvain were propping Raphael up against a table. But Mercedes simply smiled and shook her head.

“There will be time for that professor, let me just get you patched up first.” Her voice was a soothing as the faith magic that folded through her hands. Byleth’s breathing slowed. Petra squeezed her shoulders with a proud smile. Byleth felt her knees shake, the weariness of the day catching up. Petra noticed and her and Lysithea helped her to the ground. The mage appeared next to her looking worried. She tried to smile at her.

“Has anyone seen Dedue… or Marianne?” Ignatz asked shakily. Sylvain spoke up.

“Saw Dedue with Dimitri’s group near the cafeteria. Think Claude met up with them and they barricaded the doors with most of the soldiers and civilians inside. Marianne and Hilda were in the dorms when this started, and Ingrid locked them all in a room together. They should be ok. I don’t know about Ashe...”  
“He’s safe with the rest of the Eagles.” Byleth said, her voice returning to her. She looked at her hand and saw the skin had reformed. The bleeding stopped. She sighed and smiled shakily at Mercedes. The priestess smiled back. She couldn’t imagine how much energy she’d had to expend already.

“Are there any other wounds bothering you professor?” She asked looking her over, but she shook her head.

“No, thank you Mercy. Please save your strength for them.”

“The hell are these things anyway?” Sylvain asked, mostly to himself, then realized the implication of it and looked back at Byleth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-“ Byleth shook her head and pushed back to her feet with a slight groan.

“It’s ok. They… made them from me. My blood.” Everyones eyes widened, but she ignored it, taking the quivers off from her shoulders, and handing them to Petra. They were unfortunately half emptied after all her running around but it was something.

“These are for you. Barricade the door after I leave.”

“After you _leave?_ Where the hell are you going?” Leonie asked, awed, and a little incredulous.

“Out. Have to make sure these things don’t hurt anyone else.”

“Professor you’re in _no_ condition to keep fighting! Leave it to the knights!” Lysithea fretted from her side. She merely shook her head.

“The knights are just Catherine right now. They’re stretched thin. And it’s _my_ blood. If these things hurt anyone else… I will carry that with me.” She glanced about the room sensing they weren’t thrilled by the response but were also unable to find fault.

“Let us be joining you!” Petra called out and she quickly dismissed it.

“Please, use your strength to protect your classmates. The only way I can walk away right now, is knowing you all have each other to rely on.” Petra slouched a little and Byleth patted her shoulder in a knowing way. She nodded. Lorenz offered his lance, but she shook her head.

“I wont take weapons from you, I need you guys to keep every advantage you have. Watch each others backs, stay steady, this will be over soon.” She assured, and looked about the room once more.

“I am so proud of every one of you.” She squeezed Lysithea’s shoulder gently, before moving toward the door. She took a breath… hand on the door… and saw red again.

The Ashen Demon was ready to hunt.

**********************************************

Edelgard moved through the castle with one part stealth, one part muscle memory, and a majority of dumb luck and aimless prayers to stay ahead of her foes. There were definitely less now that Shamir had drawn them on a mad chase, but every time she heard footsteps where she needed to go she’d duck into an alcove, or behind a curtained windowsill. She kicked off her shoes and left them in a potted plant so her feet wouldn’t make a sound as she ran down the carpeted hallways, and thought of her years of hide and seek with her siblings… who’d have known it would give her the needed advantage to stay a step ahead.

As she rounded a corner toward the stairs a mean right hook encased in brass met her in the side of the face, sending her stumbling. She felt the bruise form immediately around her eye, and turned to see a brawler who looked far too confident as he rolled his shoulders out. She’d make him regret that. Her stature had always made her an easy target to underestimate. But one on one there were very few people that could take her.

Edelgard moved toward the wall in a flash, taking a step off the stone surface as he swung, missing wildly, and pushed off toward him, slicing down. She dug her borrowed dagger into his collarbone and he cried out, grasping at the wound. She savagely ripped it out as he fell and took off running with his cries alerting his friends to her location.

She got down a flight before she heard bodies coming up to meet her. She ducked off into the stairwell exit and ran on the new floor until she found a door and slipped into the room, pressing her back against the old wood as she tried to catch her breath. When she looked up she found herself face to face with a young maid and a child peeling potatoes by a fire place. They looked equally surprised to see her, and a bit scared. The young girl gripped the boys hand tighter and he looked at her with that childlike curiosity. He must’ve been three at oldest. The girl perhaps the same age as Petra.

Edelgard held a finger to her lips, pleadingly, asking for help. She must look a mess, black eye forming and blood covering the dagger still gripped in her white gloves. But she saw the look in the maiden’s eyes. Understanding. She nodded through her nerves and motioned her toward the table. Edelgard could hear footsteps coming down the hall and quickly moved to duck under the modest wooden structure, and the girl was quick to rise and throw a long table cloth over it, shrouding her with only the slightest gap of light let in that allowed Edelgard to catch an inch of the world. The boy and girl returned quickly to kneeling over the pot, the little boy still looking curiously at the table. The girl turned his head to look back at the potatoes and the door was thrown open a moment later. A set of armored grieves stood in the doorframe and huffed as he looked around. She saw him take a quick step in, crane around the small space.

“Nothing in here!” The voice yelled, and the grieves retreated, slamming the door closed behind him. Edelgard sighed and she sank against the floor, allowing herself to feel her nerves from the day. She looked up at the sound of the sheet shuffling and saw the little boy had stuck his head under the table cloth to give her a curious look. She smiled at him, and eased herself out from under the table.

“Thank you both.” She whispered to them. The girl nodded, and the boy reached up toward her. She crouched so he could put his tiny hand against her bruised cheek. He looked concerned.

“It’s ok.” She assured him with a smile and he nodded, then slid his small hand to her shoulder and his eyes grew wide as he gripped the corner of the red cape from her students uniform. She looked at their clothes, brown and white fabrics mended many times. They spoke of that of servants. The boy had probably never seen fabric of this quality and he examined it with that same childlike wonder. It brought a smile to Edelgard’s lip.

“You like it?” She asked him and he nodded. She reached up and released the clasp attached to her uniform, then eased the fabric off and draped it over the boys shoulders. He looked absolutely awed, and the light that danced in his eyes reminded Edelgard… this was why she’d start a war. Not for revenge, or power, but for moments like this. Helping people rise… to equality. It lit a fire in her chest. She rose to her feet and turned to the door. Giving them a final grateful nod before departing. For her to achieve that, she needed to escape first.

She moved back toward the stairs, and instantly saw a horde of enemy soldiers. They saw her too.

“Hey!” One of them cried out, and she turned on her heel and backtracked, but saw them coming from the other direction. She had one more crazy idea and took it. The hall to her left was a dead end… but it had a window.

Glass shattered around her. Rain pelted her immediately as she flew through the frame. She felt a small piece cut her cheek, a few shards tear at her uniform, and worst yet the landing as she thudded on the roof and slid down the sloped tiles of the palace until she collided with the parapet. _Smooth._ She thought begrudgingly as she pulled herself up, groaning as she felt the glass underneath her bare feet.

She looked back to see the knights at the window yelling after her through the onslaught of rain. She looked down and saw one more crazy option available. The royal fountain. She breathed deep, leaned off the parapet and jumped toward the water. She put her arms up to protect her face as she broke the plane of the water, and it knocked the air from her lungs on impact. She looked about in the dark of night and could still make out the streaks of red from her feet and arms wisping around her in the pool. She felt panic hit her immediately as the water felt like it was closing in on her. She thrashed beneath the surface until she could find footing and her lungs relished in the air they reclaimed as she surfaced. She thanked her lucky stars it was deep enough to catch her, but shallow enough to stand. She moved as quick as she could through the water and back to dry land, her breath still shaking and feeling the pads of her feet aching from the inflicted wounds.

Yells echoed out in the dark and she knew they’d be on her soon. She spotted a small passage between where two guard walls nearly overlapped that she knew lead to outside. It was narrow, too narrow for most people, but she was desperate, and prayed her delicate stature may finally be of use.

There weren’t other options as the groundsmen neared in. She ran toward it and pressed her back against the wall, and her hands in front of her on the opposite wall as she sidestepped as best she could, feeling the pressure against her legs and back with every move. The voices grew louder.

“She’s over here!” One guard yelled, and tried to go in after her. He started squeezing himself in between the structures and she quickened her pace. He called out to her threats and grumbles and she drowned him out, moving as best she could through the small space. She saw the fraction of light from the moon illuminating the end. She was close. Almost there. She grit her teeth, willing her bleeding feet to move her faster. The last part of the passage practically closed in and she felt her body stick. She grit her teeth as she willed herself to escape. One foot was out, one foot on the dewy grass. One hand slid past and grasped the bricked and pulled. Her nose brushed against the opposite wall. One hip slid out, one shoulder, she tensed in exertion against the impassible path. Then she felt her waist clear it, felt her second foot hit the grass and exhaled in relief as she turned to run- and felt a hand grip around her hair, pulling her back.

“You’re not getting away ya bitch!” The guard yelled. His hold was tight and she grunted as she thrashed against him. “I got her!” He yelled back, and she reacted off instinct. She couldn't reach him with his position in the passage, couldn’t break free, so she pulled the dagger Shamir had given her, reached back... and sliced the blade at where he held.

Her locks cut free above the shoulder. She turned and stabbed the dagger into his wrist as the final piece. The man cried out in pain. She ran as best she could, trying to keep pressure off the worst of the cuts, and absently running a hand through the new choppy length of her hair. She may have to run for now… but this was not a retreat. This was war. And it was only just starting.

**********************************************

Byleth followed the Ashen on their rampage. They had stopped fighting altogether in favor of swarming some target in the direction of the Cathedral. They were spanning the long bridge, rushing toward- Rhea.

The archbishop stood strong at the front of the church, unleashing wave after wave of powerful light energy, disintegrating the attackers. Catherine, her loyal knight, stood with four remaining soldiers on the bridge fighting off the horde. There was red dancing across her silver armor, already sustained wounds, but she fought on. She pulled an ally out of harms way and tossed them toward Rheas feet behind her, while another was stabbed and went under. She parried three at once, holding them back as best she could. She didn’t have Thunderbrand… there probably hadn’t been time to retrieve it. She kicked them back with force… and saw Byleth across the bridge. Relief showed on her face, for a moment. A flash of a moment… then she was overrun.

The things came at her from every angle… a blade was rammed into her ribs and pushed her toward the side of the bridge. Rhea blasted toward the attackers, emotion spilling from her features as Catherine was compromised. But the swarm overran the Archbishop, knocking her to the ground, and continuing past her toward the mausoleum. She cried out and eviscerated them with powerful energy.

Byleth tried to hurry, but more and more of the Ashen converged on the proud knight. She heard several other knives clank against the metal, meeting their targets… and saw the horde of them, still rushing mindlessly, go toppling over the edge of the bridge, Catherine free falling amongst them toward the mist below.

Byleth’s eyes went wide, her mind stopped, and she reached for time- but couldn’t grab it.

There was no handhold… was she too weak to pull again? Was this her limit? _Where was Sothis?_

Regardless of reason…she could do nothing but watch… watch as the blonde knight that had been a friend… disappeared from sight. She only caught a portion of her expression at the end… surprised. Wounded, overwhelmed, and falling to her death... because of her…

Byleth saw red. She _felt_ red.

The Ashen had seemed to finally notice her but it was too late for them. She knocked one back, channeled her crest into her foot, hurdled and launched herself off the crouched form and soared across the bridge. She felt her crest channel into her fist, looked down at the stairs she would land, just feet from Rhea, and brought her fist against the stone. The impact shook the ground, sent the Ashen reeling, flinging them in all directions, and collapsed the bridge in its entirety.

She watched the phantoms parading as her slowly disappear in the rubble, watched the structure give way bit by bit. She felt her footing slide out beneath her and she began to fall as well- and an arm looped under her shoulder and across her chest. She grabbed back and looked to see the Archbishop staring at her, awed, and pulling her to safety. She heard a cacophony of stone grinding, high-pitched hisses, cracking and breaking. It was all she could experience… and then it faded away into a slight rumble.

They found themselves sitting side by side, looking out at the wreckage. Their only path back to the monastery was destroyed, so they’d wait. She looked back at the two soldiers who had survived, shaking and sitting with their backs against the chapel wall. She could hear them crying. She felt Rhea’s hand on her forearm and a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you for coming my child…” Rhea said, her voice emotional. She had tears dotting the corners of her eyes. She’d never seen Rhea cry.

Byleth turned back toward where the bridge had been. Where Catherine had been… and the guilt sat between her ribs like a thousand spikes.

Byleth sat much later in the same spot, holding her knees against her chest. Rhea had risen to speak with the soldiers that survived and double check the gates to the mausoleum were still secure. Byleth couldn’t care about much right now. With their path back cutoff they were force to wait until someone came to retrieve them. She looked at the hand she’d collapsed the bridge with. It was battered and fractured. The knuckles all bleeding. Bones broken. Manuela would pitch a fit. She almost laughed at that… but couldn’t.

Just like she couldn’t save Catherine...

The sound of wings flapping drew her attention and she saw Seteth’s wyvern pass by overhead and circle in for a landing. He descended in a mad dash, a few scrapes on his cheek and tunic but mostly unscathed.

“Rhea!” He ran to the woman and clasped his hands on her forearms. “Are you harmed?” He asked, tremors breaking through his words.

“We’re alright. Thank you for coming. How are the students?” She asked, her own worry evident.

“All accounted for. Some injuries, but no fatalities.”

Byleth felt a weight lift that had been crushing her chest. One of many… but certainly the largest one.

“What has happened here?” Seteth asked next, looking at the destroyed bridge.

“The enemy targeted the mausoleum. We defended it, but… Catherine has perished...” Her emotion slipping forward again. Seteth closed his eyes at the loss and felt the sting.

“Then we are truly at a disadvantage. We’ve lost so much as of late. Shamir is still missing, the Kingdom knights have retreated... we’ve lost Jeralt... and now... Catherine.” He looked forlorn.

Rhea turned her eyes to Byleth and she could sense the coming question.

“My child... you know what I will ask of you... as I have asked it before... but please, _please_ reconsider. The people of Fódlan _need_ someone to guide them. Your students _need_ someone to show them how to rise. We are vulnerable. Too vulnerable to defend ourselves... without you.”

Byleth looked to her hands. The dried blood. The split knuckles. Could she be a beacon… after this? After what they’d seen…

Then she reminded herself… the blood on her hands was her own.

These things didn’t bleed... that was the difference. She was different. They needed her as a weapon, but not an animal. She could be the weapon again... and whether it was what she wanted... it’s what she felt was needed.

She still desperately wanted to go after El... but she was needed here too. Maybe this route could lead her to both goals, unexpected as it was.

“... I’ll do it.”

Rhea’s eyes gushed with relief.

“I will become your knight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... man... the... feels...  
> I’m exhausted personally guys, but so so happy I got to release this chapter FINALLY.
> 
> Let’s talk Edelgard’s half first. Many of you picked up on it, Cornelia. She’s the one Slither we haven't dealt with yet, and she’s opportunistic. I also kinda decided to make her more... awful and play off the idea that her and Thales were really the ones in charge, so now it falls to her.  
> I wanted to really rough Edelgard up in this one. Like physically. And so she did the classic anime thing where she cut her hair! Gasp! And she’s got a black eye and no shoes and no red cape, our girl is transforming. While simultaneously losing everything that made her Emperor von Hresvelg. Everything besides her fire...
> 
> Ok ok, Byleth. Having a terrible time, right? Agreeing to be a knight?? GAH.  
> Was the specter in her head or real? It was both motherf***ers! BAM. At different times (ya’ll are brilliant by the way, many of you were onto this reveal earlier, but I hope I still surprised you with the scale of it) We’ll dive into that more in the coming chapters, AND If you didn’t see, I also released a bonus chapter on Stockholm Syndrome that gives a little more backstory for this and Myson’s involvement. (plus some cool cover art I did. Shameless plug)  
> Also dropped the first chapter of the first prequel for this series called The First Time Through. That story can be enjoyed even without prior knowledge of the series, and is far tamer than this and closer to original Crimson Flowers route, so if you need something light, may be a great read to unwind with.
> 
> What I learned during these last two weeks is working on three chapters for different stories at once is a nightmare that I couldn’t wake up from and would be perfect happy never doing again. But I wanted to spoil you guys.  
> Til next time, *hugs* hang in there 👍🏻


	7. Nothing Is Right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth becomes a knight  
> Edelgard reconnects with old allies  
> They both consider what they stand for

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O M Goodness guys, apologies for the longer than average break. There are many reasons this took so long. Working on other AU’s and the Prequel (whoops, was worried about that) Real world life being weird and work starting on unnatural schedules, and perhaps the biggest reason, Knight Byleth was kinda hard to write. Like what moments and interactions were crucial for her to have, versus fun, and what’s the blend? So I came up with a theme throughout that I think saved it big time, and got to let her have an interesting arc.  
> We also get to continue building out this world! Seeing some characters we haven’t yet, (missing Eagle anyone?) and checking in with others we haven’t seen in awhile. Should be fun, so enjoy the LENGTHY update (14k words 😭) see what you think, and we’ll talk at the end :)

Part 7 - After Stockholm

Hours after she’d seen her father’s throne desecrated, after she’d seen Shamir trailed by a mass of guards, and after she’d dove through a window in a last ditch escape, Edelgard managed to find a place to disappear. In an alley, behind piles of trash.

The last time she’d been in the streets of Enbarr there had been vendors selling their stock, lanterns lighting the city, and a calm energy between the bustling crowd of citizens. Now… the windows were dark, the streets filthy, and every block militarized. She curled further against the wall, surrounded by the reek of rotting, and watched as patrols passed in a constant tandem of creaking armor and splashing puddles. Edelgard wondered how things had gotten so bad... _how long had it been like this?_

A puddle splashed closer. She turned to narrow in on the source, finding it immediately in the dark silhouette and spikes. His weapon already drawn.

“It’s you.” She said, meeting the glowing red eyes. Ones she knew well.

Death knight stood at the end of the alley. His massive scythe was tightly in hand, and under his other arm was tucked a book-sized wooden crate that he set down.

“My blade craves flesh... they did not tell me it would be yours.” The metallic voice echoed.

Edelgard rose from the piles of rubbish and carefully walked out to stand before him, keeping her eyes locked on his. She saw how his shoulders rose and fell unevenly. Could hear his labored breathing. He was brimming with tension. He was twitching. He’d been in his persona too long.

“Emile... when’s the last time you’ve taken off your armor?” She spoke as level as she could manage.

“Don’t.... call me that. I am merely death.” His metallic voice filled with growing wrath.

“No, that is _your_ name. Your real name.” She countered.  “You are a man. A man with a sister...”

He growled, tightening his grip, and for a moment Edelgard thought she’d broken through to him... then saw the swift wind up, and reckless swing of his scythe. She dove out of the way with a grimace as his blade cratering the ground beneath where she’d just been standing.

“Emile,” She tried as his metallic groans filled the air. He swung again, aggravation and panic tearing through his movements. She managed to stay off the end of his hooked blade, but he was relentless, and gave her no room for rest between the continued assault.

_“Emile.”_ She tried again.

“NO. HE IS NO MORE.” He swung again, this one almost catching her as she rolled out of the way.

“Her name is Mercedes.” Edelgard said loudly.

“AGHHHH.” He screamed and threw the blade at her, she ducked under it, her cheek pressed against the alley floor, and heard it skewer into the wall behind her. He fell to his knees and grabbed at his helmet. 

Edelgard rolled back to standing, and felt the cuts on the bottom of her feet protest. She pushed through and eased closer to him.

“Her name is Mercedes, and she looks for you.” She continued.

“NO.” The metallic voice echoed in the alley, and Edelgard winced. He was going to attract attention. She needed to calm him, and fast. She grasped his shoulder.

“She is safe.”

He sprung on her like a coiled snake, raising a dagger from his belt and lashing viciously. She reacted quick, still barely having time to catch the side of his wrist, and straining to keep the blade from piercing her flesh. This wasn’t good, he’d never attacked her point blank before. He was slipping far.

She kept both her arms locked against his to hold his strike at bay, his labored breathing getting louder, his red eyes glowing maliciously. His power, she couldn’t match, and as he pushed against her the blade closed in on her shoulder, breaking skin and drawing blood through her uniform. She winced, and reached for her last course of action left.

“There is... a candle... in the hall.” She grunted the words. “It flickers... as I near.”

He pressed on harder, the blade grazing her collarbone. She ignored the pain.

“No one knows.... who struck the match. No one else... is here.” She never broke her gaze. Death Knight only responded to strength.

“There is a candle burning bright.” She tightened her grip on his hands. “The wax drips to the... floor.” He launched his other hand at her throat, knocking her back to the ground, and glowered over her... hand shaking, breath seething. Fingers wrapped around her throat in a crushing embrace. She pressed on, through strained breaths. “A gust… of wind... will snuff it out.” His eyes seemed to widen behind the mask. “Tell me the rest Emile…”

“…Til it’s dark once more.” His voice lost all malice... his grip around her neck loosened and he slouched back until he was kneeling before her, hands in front of him limply. She coughed out a fit once he’d released her, rubbing her freed neck before quickly returning to her feet and wasting no time in ridding him of the imposing headgear. 

With it tossed to the side the man beneath was revealed and blinked as if trying to adjust his eyes to the outside world. She didn’t like using this technique on him, it always seemed a rather jarring return to his self, and would typically leave him immobile for hours.

“Hello again Emile.” She tried.

His eyes looked back at her blankly for sometime before he found his words.

“Your Majesty...” He asked. “Has your hair… always been like that?” She ran her hand through the new choppy length with a small smirk.

“No, that is a new development. One of many.”

She looked over the blonde man. His skin was pale. There were dark rings under his eyes. She wondered how he’d been treated in her absence. How many terrible things he’d done in the interim of dissension between mind and body.

“Do you know where you are?” She asked.

“Enbarr...” His words were balmy.

“Do you know why?”

“…Arundel… requested my services... you agreed.”

“I did... And I am sorry. That arrangement was meant as temporary. I shouldn’t have been away this long. Do you know what month it is?”

“....No.”

_ Not a great sign. _

“Do you know why you were sent to me tonight?”

“…to deliver a message.” His answers were flat... as if he was reading them back to her.

She noticed footsteps mounting nearby. Voices from far off coming closer. _Shit, they weren’t safe here._

“We need to move.” She said, moving to pull him to his feet.

“The package.”

“What?”

“It is there...” Jeritza pointed to the wooden box he’d carried into the alley. “The package is the message.” 

She’d nearly forgotten of it, but a renewed sense of dread settled in between her lungs. Whatever was in there was something Cornelia wanted her to see… something that sent a message.

She took the dagger from him, still fresh with her blood, and grabbed the box, wiggling the tool between the boards and loosening the lid. Each nail that came up spiked her pulse, and when it finally came free she stared… and stared…  and stared.

Bile curled in her stomach.

It was an arm… a human arm… laying on a bed of hay. There were patches of red where blood had sopped into strands. Flies already converging on the flesh.

The limb had been severed between the elbow and shoulder. The end of it looked rough... as if it had not been a clean break. Muscle and sinew clung in patches around the bone along the edges. The fingers, still wearing their signature dark gloves, were stiff and folded around a singular arrow. And wrapped around the forearm was a strip of torn evergreen fabric. 

It was Shamir’s arm...

They’d caught her.

**********************************************

“I’ll do it… I’ll become your knight.”

The words had felt strange as they left Byleth’s mouth. As if she wasn’t the one speaking it. It didn’t feel like what she wanted... but how was she supposed to know? She wanted to keep the students safe... and seeing today’s events reminded her how bad the need for it was. That need filled her lungs and spilled out into an acceptance that she hadn’t expected from herself... but one she thought she could handle. If the church shared that goal... then perhaps they could find common ground... and she could be their ally for a time. Even if it was an alliance she feared would hurt someone she cared for...

Her entire self was numb from the days events, the aftermath hanging all around her in the air as ashes still fell and floated. Her blood had been turned to ghouls… the ghouls turned to an army… the army killing whatever’s lay in its path… and Catherine amongst that list. 

How many more? How many more soldiers… how many more civilians… but the students... she’d been told the students had been spared. She needed to see them and prove it to herself.

She sat behind Seteth on his Wyvern, only thinking of them, as they soared over the expanse that the long bridge once occupied. She wondered if they could look at her the same after what had transpired… after what these mirror versions of herself had done.

As they neared in for a landing, she got her answer… her students were there waiting for her. Standing around anxiously at the edge of where the bridge had once been.

Ferdinand and Caspar waved enthusiastically upon sighting her. Petra wiped away a stray tear from the corner of Dorothea’s eye as they both laughed in relief. Linhardt smiled into a sigh and Bernie was wiping away sobs with her wrist, her bow still strung over her shoulder. To her side, a head of white hair doing the same. Lysithea.

In the same second her feet were on the ground, they were upon her. Their affections were almost suffocating in the best way. In the way Byleth needed.

Dorothea threw her arms around her neck and pulled her close. _She was strong_ , Byleth thought as the air was crushed from her.

“We were so worried!” She said as Petra matched her friend, joining in the embrace and planting two quick kisses to Byleth’s cheeks.

“Thank the spirits for keeping you safe Professor.” Petra said sincerely. Caspar was next to hop in, and suddenly all of them were circled around her. She didn’t have enough arms to hold them all back.

Certainly, this was nothing the Ashen Demon would’ve ever had… this was something that was Byleth’s. She looked up and saw Lysithea on the outskirt, watching. Byleth smiled and nodded in her direction. Petra noticed and parted, waving her forward. The girl came quietly to rest her head against Byleth’s stomach and cried softly.

“I’m really glad you’re ok.” She mumbled against her shirt. The group returned to a tight embrace with it’s new member, and Byleth felt alive... she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt so whole.

The next day Byleth sat in a counsel room with Seteth and Rhea, going over the ins and outs of the attack, reliving each bit in painstaking detail. She explained briefly what she understood them to be, and mentioned the one that had attacked her prior in her dorm. Seteth had been unable to hide his concern.

“And you didn’t tell us this?” His voice tore through her memories of that morning. Of Edelgard with her hand on her cheek in her room, healing the slash across her forearm.

“I… didn’t know what to make of it at the time. Now, knowing what I know, I believe it was a test. They warped one in to see if they could… then warped it out to hide their tracks.”

“What did you think was happening at the time?” Seteth asked, still an air of irk to his tone.

“I was... seeing things... after my imprisonment.” She stared at her wrapped left hand and flexed the fingers. Remembering the phantoms. Remembering the saw… the rats… the damp… then exhaling deeply and clenching her fist. Rhea seemed to notice, and gestured toward Seteth to silence his next question. “I was trying to heal… to deal with it on my own.” Rhea watched her intently.

“You know… sometimes I see phantoms too.” The archbishop spoke quietly, and Byleth’s eyes widened. She almost thought she’d misheard, and Seteth continued as if nothing was said.

“So, these things were made from the blood they harvested from you, some dark magic, and what, ashes?” Byleth nodded. He had his arms crossed as if he was searching for the lie.

“You of all people should understand. You’ve seen what they do for someones blood.” Byleth said, exhausted. Tired of opening up for him to rip her down. He noticeably paled at that, and she felt almost dirty for bringing up his daughters capture. Flayn had been taken months ago by the Death Knight, and though kept unconscious for most of that month, she knew the girl had scars to hide now. They hadn’t seen much of her since her recovery. She had offered her a position in the Black Eagles, but Seteth had vehemently dissuaded it. She imagined his already protective nature was spiked even crazier than before.

“What can you tell us of the weapons they used?” Rhea asked, breaking the tension of the two. Byleth could still feel where they’d cut her. Felt the wounds vibrating. Felt whenever the air caught them. They’d burn randomly and inconsistently, subtly making it impossible to forget about them.

“They are advanced. I think they’re the same style used to kill my father.” Rhea’s eyes stared off somewhere and had lost their usual warmth, reminding her of that General she had seen during the battle. Calculating. Analyzing. She sighed, breaking that intense gaze.

“I think that’s enough for today professor. On to happier matters…” She smiled again, replacing that slate look from before.

“I will escort you to the armory if you’re ready?” Byleth nodded, ready to be done with this conversation.

As she walked with Lady Rhea there was a silence and Byleth was content not to break it. She had enough wars in her mind.

“I’m sure they’re still out there you know…” Rhea said, surprisingly kind, as if she was reading her thoughts. Byleth had been telling herself something similar. Shamir was one of the sharpest shots she knew with two arms. She could see everything for miles and was as dedicated to her allies survival as she was her own. Bandits killing her seemed incredibly unlikely. 

Edelgard… was another thing all together. She was resilient, strong, incredibly driven. There was no way they would’ve bested her. Deeper yet… if she was gone... she thinks she would have felt it. Their bond had been so strong… if it were to be severed… it would shake her to her core. She was sure of that. Because the truth was… the alternative was too scary.   
  


She stepped out of the armory in her new wares. A few days had passed, of recruiting, counseling, training, rebuilding. And today Byleth was to officially become a Knight of Seiros. Being a knight so far hadn’t been that different than mercenary work, save the amount of respect that was shown to her. She found it strange how many people were quick to shake her hand or clasp her arm or offer her thanks at every pass. She wasn’t sure she liked the attention.

Rhea had made an announcement immediately after the siege, and moved the preparations along at lightning speed. She imagined it was mostly due to upholding their reputation. The Knights of Seiros were well known across the land, word getting out that they were scattered or... deceased... would hurt their image of power.

Now Byleth had donned the metal and leather that would serve as her ensemble. She’d noticed that the knights all seemed to have a unique style, and had appreciated getting to play a part in picking her own.

They’d customize a breastplate to fit her, going from the curve of her collarbones and scooping down at her shoulder joints. Leather straps attached Over her arms to the back plate. The Crest of Seiros had been emblazoned over the front, which she didn’t particularly care about, but understood.

She wore her archery compression shirt underneath, the charcoal color poking through and contrasting behind the light silver metal.

The left sleeve went down to her wrist and had several metal vambraces and gauntlets built around her forearm and bicep. They were simple and similar to that of the assassin class. She wanted mobility, and had emphasized light armor.

The right arm had no sleeve and no armor, save a band of fabric above her elbow for her to wipe sweat on and a fingerless glove. Her left hand contrarily had a charcoal grey gauntlet with metal plates to reinforce. That had been one of her requests. She may not be able to shake the scars... but she could reinforce where she felt weakest.

She wore a strapped silver shoulder guard across her left side, with the leather belt going across her chest and under her right arm, with another belt interlocking down her side to her hip. The belt around her waist had perfect slots for throwing knives.

Preferring to keep her legs uninhibited she settled on dark slacks of a durable material that fit her well without being tight enough to restrict motion, and greaves that stopped below the knee, matching the simple diagonal pattern of her arm braces.

Her boots were brown leather to match the straps on her armor, and looking at herself in the mirror as she’d left she felt… as knightly as she could.

The light of the morning shown through the trees and reflected off the metallic plates. Seteth was waiting to greet her.

“I trust it is to your liking?” She nodded in response. “Then, let’s not keep them waiting.”

They mounted his Wyvern and flew back across the non existent bridge to the cathedral.

“It goes without saying, but I feel I should anyway.” Seteth broke their silence. “We are indebted to you for this action you take. Rising when the church needed you most is truly admirable.”

“I didn’t do it for the church.” She said blankly. She meant no ill-will by it, but it was fact. He merely cleared his throat in thought before adding.

“Yes, I suppose we knew that.”

When she entered into the holy space she saw Lady Rhea beaming from the head of the room. Byleth assumed this must be rather nostalgic for her, seeing the child of two people she had known so well following in their footsteps. As she approached she saw the heads of house standing as representatives, Claude and Dimitri giving her courteous nods. And Ferdinand (the chosen alternate) and Petra (having ferried Ferdinand on the Wyvern) doing the same. As she passed them she couldn’t help but think of Edelgard, which was something she’d been trying to not do all damn day. She just wondered... what would she think? Would she understand? Would she feel betrayed? Would she... be hurt? 

Those thoughts only served to sting her eyes, so she chose to bury them instead.

Now she stood at the end of the staircase and Rhea gestured for her to take a knee. The ceremony began.

It was longer than Byleth cared for, she nodded when told to and rose and knelt when asked. Rhea said some form of prayer to the Goddess and Byleth was given a chalice of wine to sip from in some kind of pact. Finally, Rhea unsheathed a fascinating sword, one the likes of which Byleth had never seen. She placed the flat end on her right shoulder than left.

“In the name of the Goddess, I dub thee, Lady Eisner, Knight of Seiros. Rise and receive your blessing.” She swore she heard Sothis chuckle in her head as she stood. Rhea held the sword out to her, flat across both her palms. Byleth mirrored her position and accepted the weapon. 

“I present her in front of Sothis herself, and in front of you who have convened for this occasion. Do you accept this woman and her service?”

“Aye.” The group responded in unison.

Rhea smiled and the two exchanged a bow.

“Then the ceremony is complete. Go forth, Lady Eisner and defend her holy name.”

There was a small smattering of applause from the students and Seteth, and Byleth turned to return the blade to Rhea. She kindly shook her head.

“The Sword of Serios belongs with you, my Knight of Seiros. May it serve you well.” Byleth blinked. She hadn’t expected the church to trust her with another important weapon… not after the last one. She still remembered chucking the Sword of the Creator at a metal door in a desperate attempt to buy her and Edelgard time for an escape. Watching it release a large blast of energy on impact. She still wondered how she’d done that. But she nodded with a small smile and clipped it to her belt. It would come in handy.

She mingled with the students as they offered congratulations, accepting Dimitri’s kind hand shake (had he always looked that tired?) and Ferdinands bow. Petra didn’t bother containing herself and instead offered a tight hug. Claude shook her hand with a wink.

“Way to go teach, the church doesn’t deserve you.” He said it with his typical joking manner, but she felt a deeper meaning to his words. Part of her agreed. “Hey...” He dropped his voice. “You up for a study session later? Found an interesting lesson could use another set of eyes on.” She cocked an eyebrow, but felt the urgency to his question. She nodded, curious what the notorious schemer had learned. Maybe more info related to the thing in her chest... she reached for it absently as Rhea approached. She seemingly noticed, squinting at where her hand lay.

“Professor, walk with me a moment?” She asked and Byleth nodded coming out of her stupor. Seteth escorted the students out and she waved to them over her shoulder as she fell in step with the Archbishop.

“How’re you feeling my child?” She asked as they walked. Byleth nodded.

“Fine.”

“Fine? Is that all?” She chuckled. Byleth assumed that she was expecting some grander emotions tied to what was a presumed honor. Maybe fine wasn’t enough.

“Tense... I guess? There’s much to do.” She said in return, hoping it was a satisfying answer. Rhea hummed as if it was.

“I merely wished to check in, and let you know that if we find the assassin or the mage that you spoke of we will be expecting to send you after them.” She nodded and noticed for the first time the spectral image of Sothis floating along with them, studying Rhea with a finger to her chin.

_“Byleth... will you ask her something for me?”_ She came to a stop by the back hallway where she remembered the Holy Mausoleum to be.

_ “What’s in there? What were the Ashen after?” _

“Lady Rhea... do you know what the enemy was hoping to gain? They seemed like they we’re targeting that door.” She parroted for Sothis. Admittedly she was curious. Rhea tensed... only for a fraction... but noticeably so.

“Yes... the Holy Mausoleum is a sacred place. It does not surprise me that they would target a location such as that.”

“But... what would be their goal? Is there something of value... or power to be gained down there?” She tried again. Rhea blinked, trying to hide behind her typical smile but there was a crack in her composure.

“My my, so many questions today.”

“I suppose… If I’m going to be a knight of the church… I wished to know more of it.” She tried, hoping it sounded convincing. In truth... the questions started whirling her mind, one after the other, as if letting one out had opened Pandora’s box, reminding her how many she truly had for this woman.

“Hmm… I can appreciate that Lady Eisner. They’ll have to wait, I’m afraid I have much to attend to today. But perhaps soon…”

Byleth stared, curious why she would deflect about this, but bowed her head instead.

“Of course Lady Rhea.” She bowed in return and carried on down the hall.

_“She keeps herself very guarded…”_ Sothis mused, watching her go. Still scrutinizing her. Byleth nodded.

 _Hard to work with someone like that._ Byleth thought back to the floating spirit. She clutched at her chest again, feeling her non-heartbeat stronger as she thought on it all. She hoped they really did share the same goal... she hoped she could be trusted.

She hoped she made the right decision.

**********************************************

Death Knight wasn’t someone who could just blend in, and in his current state she didn’t like keeping him in the armor. She helped rid him of it and shed to his commoner clothes underneath, hiding the bulky pieces in the littered alley, then hastily took Emile by the hand further into the underbelly of Enbarr. Away from the patrols and voices rising behind them. She lead them around corners, ducking out of notice as much as possible. His grip was loose. There was no color behind his eyes, he may as well have been unconscious.

It pained her to see him this way, but there wasn’t much to be done until they could get somewhere safe. She heard footsteps pursuing... distinctly on their tail and she cursed in her head. She was getting tired of running. It didn’t help that she was leaving bloody footprints behind with each step. Or that she had a box with a human limb under one arm.

With her other arm she pulled the man formally known as Jeritza, who’s brain was more mush than matter currently, she made her own inner promise. She wouldn’t leave him, she’d protect them both. Her fight or flight instinct was always geared heavily toward fight. And even though it seemed futile at this moment, she found herself relying on her old habits. 

Footsteps were definitely closing in, and she hurriedly sat Emile in a short alley between two buildings, handing him the box and pulling the dagger from his belt. He moved like a rag doll, no protest, practically no bones.

She stood in the crossway. Whatever and whoever was coming behind her she would deal with it. She thought of Byleth wistfully for a moment. She had always managed to defy the odds, and right now with them stacked so clearly against her... rain soaked clothes, bleeding at the shoulder, and one good eye... Edelgard would channel that strength.

She slid into her readied stance and saw the lone knight approaching in the path, steeling herself. When he neared and their eyes met, he looked equally surprised to see her and her shoulders sagged almost immediately. Relief washed over her.

“Lady Edelgard...”

“Randolph.”

They ducked out of the rain and into some small house where no one was home. The day had been long. Draining, physically and emotionally. And she felt numb down to her bones now that she’d allowed herself to stop. The implications and aggravation of the day started to spike through her body... But an Emperor could never rest. Never falter. Not when she already had to such an extent that had lead to their current predicament. She barely registered the blanket that Randolph wrapped around her wet shoulders as those thoughts clouded her head.

“Who’s house is this?” She asked absently.

“Someone who’s not using it anymore.” Randolph offered, a solemn suggestion hanging in the air. She looked over her ally.

“I’m glad your safe Randolph.” He smiled dismally in return.

“Yes, I was one of the lucky ones. Ladislava too. They knew of our alignment, so she was granted a troop of knights, and I stay on the palace patrol.” He stared at her a moment and his smile became more genuine.

“I can’t believe you’re actually back.” She tightened her grip on the blanket over her shoulders and looked away.

“I would have come sooner had I known. And came prepared, rather than walking into a trap.” She felt the bitterness sweep through her. Not at anyone in this room other than herself. She should have been prepared for anything. She wasn’t.  This was why Hubert hadn’t been responding…

“I know there is much to catch me up on… but can you tell me what’s become of Lord Vestra?” She continued. Of the many questions that needed answering, that was the one with the strongest grip on her soul.

“He is alive.” He was quick to reassure. “He has been helping us… but things got worse. They keep him around for appearances, but they are holding him... in the dungeons.”

_Oh._

The Dungeons.  _Those Dungeons._

A mountain fresh cold seeped through her veins. The place that held the hellish trauma of her past... the air that held her screams... was now holding her most trusted advisor... and dearest friend. There was no thought to be had, other than to get him out.

“Randolph, we need to free him.” He rubbed the back of his neck in response, looking the mirror image of his nephew Caspar.

“That’s easier said than done my lady.”

“I am aware. Believe me, getting out was no easy feat. And going back in is not something I’m looking forward to. But… Hubert will be crucial to our success.”  And she’d be damned if she let him rot in that place. It wouldn’t take anyone else from her. 

Randolph sighed. 

“I suppose you’re right. Perhaps we can come up with a plan... maybe in the next week...” Edelgard shook her head.

“No, we need to get in immediately.”

“My lady, I understand your eagerness but-“

“It’s not eagerness Randolph... it’s that.” She pointed to the box over her shoulder where Emile still sat holding it. Randolph grimaced.

“If we wait... there will be more pieces. Until there is nothing left of her.” She remembered the last look as Shamir had run off... confident, no regrets, an easy smile. It was frustratingly similar to someone else... maybe that was so scary about the idea of losing her. But if there was a chance to save her, that window was closing.

Randolph sighed and rubbed his face.

“Well I suppose if we strike now we’ll at least have the element of surprise. How did you manage to get out?”

She thought of trying to explain the crazy string of events that lead to her escape, but then a damn near suicidal, utterly foolish idea launched in her head.

_That’s the best kind_. She could practically hear Byleth from their last kiss with death. Her memory was like a flame... spreading a warmth that she carried like fuel.

“Actually the way I got out… might hold the key to getting in.” The confusion on Randolphs face couldn’t deter her. Her mind started concocting solutions. “I need you to do me a favor. Can you retrieve his armor?” She nodded toward Emile.

“I... can. He doesn’t look all that ready to wear it again.”

She looked at him closer, still sitting in the same position they’d sat him in initially, clutching the wooden box as if it were a lifeline. The poem often left him practically catatonic. She wouldn’t ask anything of him for awhile.

“It’s not for him, just... I think I have a plan.”

It was the early hours of the morning, the dark of night beginning to surrender to the navy of pre-light. Edelgard found herself crouched next to Randolph at the base of the hill, looking up at the castle gate. They had succeeded in all of their planning, even the more ludicrous pieces coming together. Now it was time to initiate. And through she wasn’t a believer... she thought she might try praying.

“I can’t say I’ve broken into many castles, but this is the most farfetched way I’ve tried.” Randolph said from her side. She smiled wryly.

“If it wasn’t, I’d be concerned.” Edelgard pulled the cloak she’d been given tighter around her shoulders. “You’re ready for your part?” He nodded and handed her a skeleton key for the castle. 

“I am... but I still think I should be the one going in”

“We’ve been over this-“

“You’re the Emperor! The true one, and if those beasts get you...”

“Randolph,” She placed a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve gone over this and it has to be me. I can’t risk losing anyone else in there. Allies to Adrestia are hard to come by right now...” She gave a small, sad grin and he nodded.

“Yes, well... just make sure you come back out of that place. You know your route?” She nodded. She knew  exactly where Hubert would be... “I’m sorry I don’t know where they’ll be keeping the archer.”

“I do. She wants me to come to her... she’ll keep her close.” Edelgard responded. Randolph looked tense, but Edelgard felt resolute. She was ready. As ready as she would be for something so cockamamie. 

As if on cue, they heard the rhythm of hooves clopping up the path from the distance. The dark armor of Death Knight could be spotted atop his signature black mare, and moving toward the heavily guarded entrance. Upon closer inspection you’d be able to see that the head hung limp, that the form within could no longer hold itself up, and that the binds at the feet and was it were the only thing keeping it on the horse as it returned on habit to its stable.

From town Edelgard could just barely see smoke breaking across the sky. The safe house they’d been in earlier, set to flames for the second part of their distraction. _Two distractions, twice as less guards_. The sentries watched curiously as the knight decoy arrived toward the gate. Next came Randolph.

“Best of luck your Majesty, see you on the other side.” He rose from his spot next to her, flashing her a smart smile (again, very Caspar) and ran toward the other men, just in time, as the sentinels began to poke at the form and pull against the ropes. The corpse inside would not respond. Edelgard could just make out Randolph’s words as he approached them.

“A fire’s breaking out in town at one of the marked locations… We need to get down there now.” He sounded very convincing, she thought.

“What do we do about-?” One of them pointed at ‘Death knight.’ Randolph waived him off.

“Have the perimeter guards deal with it, gate guards with me.” Edelgard watched as the groups broke off into different directions, Randolph leading his on a wild goose chase toward a fire Emile had lit before the two of them would reconvene. She trusted him to take care of the troubled man. She trusted she’d see them again.

After the footsteps quieted to almost nothing, she sprinted toward the far side of the castle. The horse whinnied and bucked while they attempted to corral it, throwing the corpse tied to it in unnatural ways. She heard the guards struggling to reign it in, and breathed a small laugh. Their little ploy should buy some time and thin the guards… enough for her to get in.

Getting out was still a bit of a long shot.

**********************************************

Byleth followed Claude’s request, arriving at the library. The man himself was sitting with his legs hanging off a desk in the back, Linhardt again at his side, and stacks of books around the table, creating a small alcove for their deviousness to develop.

His eyes lit up when he saw her, something curious, like a burning question. He nudged Linhardt who looked up from what they were pouring over and quickly waved her over.

What she really hadn’t been expecting were the two people sitting beside to them.

“Flayn?” She barely had time to utter the name before the green-haired girl had flown across the room to wrap her in an embrace. She was quick to return it.

“Professor! I’m so relieved you are back!” Byleth smiled fondly at her. The young girl pulled back to look at her, and her eyes showed a particular pain behind the smile. One that reminded her of Lysithea. “I heard we almost lost you...” She said quietly.

“ _Almosts_ come with the territory, don’t worry too much. I’m glad to see you too.”

“I... heard it was the same people...” She didn’t finish the thought. Didn’t need to. Byleth saw her grasp her forearm nervously and worried that she had developed some scars of her own... Byleth pulled her back into a side hug that broke her from her thoughts. _Edelgard, Lysithea, and now Flayn..._ They were racking up a list. And hurting the _wrong_ people.

“We’re both survivors now.” She said back softly, pulling her into a side hug. The young girl beamed and leaned into her as she turned to address the other unexpected guest.

“Ashe, how’s the leg?” The young archer had his thigh and calf wrapped from hip down in a cocoon of gauze, the clear impression of a splint sticking out along the side.

“Not too shabby. Just needed a few stitches and Manuela’s got me right as rain.” He responded with his natural cheer.

“68 stitches is more than a few. And it clipped a serious artery.” Linhardt added, without looking up from his papers. “He was lucky he had Dorothea there to patch him up, else he’d have bled out in the streets.” Linhardt rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, and Ashe tried to awkwardly wave it away.

“Well now that just sounds morbid. It’s really not a big deal.” Byleth placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed assuringly.

“What happened was scary. It could’ve been a lot worse. You're very brave to have endured what you did.” She gave him a nod. And he nodded back with a slight flush to his cheeks. “So how did you get roped into whatever this is?”

Byleth glanced at the documents they were looking at. Ashe scratched the back of his head and stammered a moment.

“Uhm, t-to tell you the truth… I overheard them saying they needed a lock picked, and I mentioned I could.” Claude leaned over to give him a proud slap on the back.

“Hear that teach, he volunteered. No corruption needed. He also thinks there’s something fishy going on.” He lowered his voice at the last sentence.

“Something fishy?” Byleth asked.

Ashe stared at his cast.

“Based on what I saw after Lonato… the documents I read… I think… I just wonder... if my family got wrapped up in something more… more than what they’re accused of.” Byleth nodded remembering the mission. It had felt off to her from the start.  _Gods that had been so long ago now._

“And why do the rest of you think there is something fishy?” She asked lowering her voice as well. She looked at Claude first.

“Well, I’ve been onto them for awhile, over literally almost everything. Lying about Seteth and Flayn’s relationship, sending us to clean up their messes, but mostly over the censored information the church gives out. Histories they share that I  _know_ are false.” He nodded toward the green-haired scholar. “That was why I came to Lin here in the first place.”

Made sense. She had questions about that as well. She turned her eyes to Flayn though, the biggest uncertainty of all.

“To tell you the truth… father’s been acting strange lately. I was worried it had something to do with the attacks on the campus, but it sounded like he was upset about something Rhea  did. And I thought… it _sounded_ like... something she did to  you.” She fiddled with the hem of her uniform in a nervous pattern.

“She confronted me going in Rhea’s office, but ended up being my lookout.” Ashe offered.

“I wanted to know why they were fighting… and… what she did.” Flayn added. “I don’t think they’d have hurt you! But… but I owe you my life. And if they did…” Her eyes welled up and the tone of the room shifted. Byleth buried her own rising revelations to console her with a calm nod and squeeze of the shoulder.

“Professor, before I ask you this, why did you agree to be a knight?” Linhardt interrupted with his usual inquisitiveness masking something serious.

“To protect the students.” She answered immediately. Linhardt nodded.

“I figured you’d say as much. And… you do not fully trust the church?” She shook her head.

“No. Any organization as large as this works in their own interest first and foremost.”

He looked her in the eye and lowered his voice.

“Have you ever heard the term, Progenitor God?”

She felt something curl in her… she hadn’t, had she? She shook her head and came closer to look over the documents, Linhardt sliding one closer to her. 

There were symptoms scribbled. _Fragile skin and bones... stilted emotions... shortened life span... sickness..._ and a list of 12 names.

Stacks and stacks of notes she saw around the desk matching the names on the list. They looked like logs, cataloging some kind of trials and developed conditions.

Her mind wandered to what had been done to Edelgard, and she instantly felt a fury and a disgust boiling in her chest.  _What kind of experiments were these? What had the church been after?_

Linhardt laid his finger next to the name at the bottom of the list, drawing her attention.

_ Sitri Eisner… _

...

...

...

The dried ink felt like it was unwriting her history. The feeble past she knew _anything_ about was impaled by those quill strokes, as the blood in her veins forgot how to circulate. _Her mother..._

“Professor!” Before she could get lost completely, Dimitri was in the door, donning his armor, an anxious look on his face. “They found him. They found the assassin.” 

**********************************************

Edelgard followed the same narrow passage she’d managed to squeeze through last time, and where they had recovered the body currently inside the Death Knight armor. The man she’d stabbed in the wrist had been right where she’d last scene him… abandoned to bleed out between two walls. That was something she found she hated more and more about these ‘allies’ of hers. They were so quick to throw away their own. Something she never wanted to allow again... something she couldn’t. This crazed plan was part of her proving how different they were. She wouldn’t cut and run from those she stood with. She wouldn’t leave someone in a wall. He made a good decoy though. 

She sucked in as she pressed through the too-tight passage, one foot (thankfully with shoes now), then knee, then shoulder. Once her ribs crossed she found the rest of her easier to fit in, and slowly maneuvered through.  _Take your time_ , she thought. Avoid scraping yourself. Her inner thoughts were her way to combat the arrhythmic drumming oh her heart in her ears. She made it to the end. 

Glancing around the courtyard she saw no guards, and exited the small passage, running under the cover of night toward the complex. Edelgard didn’t look back to see if any eyes were on her. She figured if they were, they’d make themselves known, and as her hand hit the door she almost couldn’t believe she’d made it. The key fit into the lock perfectly, turning the cog and gaining entrance. She was in. _So far so good._

No one was looking for her this time, and the guard patrols were far lighter, unsuspecting and distracted. As she edged along, she pictured the door. The door that she’d seen in her dreams most every night. Every step that drew her closer felt like lead piling on her knees. Heavy. Her survival instincts screamed for her to turn around, her scars slithering through her skin as if re-tearing, but she wouldn’t give them the time of day. She was Emperor Edelgard with or without the crown. She would not admit defeat.

She pushed past it. She could push. 

She could push.

_ She could push. _

She was at the door.

It was unassuming enough. Plain wooden paneling in row with the other doors that lead to pantries and rooms. But she knew it was the one.  She could practically hear her siblings voices. Their screams. Their cries. Their groans of pain. Her palm shook as she extended toward the handle.

Just touch the door. _Touch the door._

She was a fingers length from the handle… _she could hear their voices so clearly._ Their optimistic words at the start.  _We’ll be ok. We’ve got each other…_

_She saw their eyes as they lost the light…_ She still hadn’t touched the damn door.

She wished Byleth was here. She remembered how it felt to be wrapped in her arms… Remembered how strong she felt in that cobalt gaze. Like she could take on the world. Surely this door was no match for her... She took a breath, shut her eyes, and took the handle.

It was cold.

But she’d done it. She touched it. She heard the drills as she did... felt them shake through her ribs as they pierced bone and flesh. She tried to raise the key... but her hand shook and missed the lock time and again. She heard the drills getting louder... heard her siblings screams mix with the whirls. The sound grew... and she felt it in her feet... in her hips... in her shoulders... her hands... and she still couldn’t steady her hand enough to fit the damn lock. Something akin to rage burst in her, and she channeled her crest, punching through the handle. It splintered apart. Her glove tore on contact. She winced as she felt the skin break.

The door didn’t shatter completely but it bent on impact, folding in on itself. A hole where the handle and lock used to be. She pushed it open enough to squeeze in before she could second guess, before any more phantoms caught up to her. It didn’t quite sit back in its frame afterwards, and she took it as a strange, small victory. _She’d always hated that door._

If the door had been the starting point, the stairs down into the dark space were… worse. So much worse. She moved almost mechanically downward. The mugginess stale and awful. Like 10 little sets of hands reaching for her. It felt like the air was littered with their breath, even still, years later…

She felt goosebumps across her skin, but kept moving. She wasn’t here for them… she carried them in her own way... the way she always had and always would… but this was different. She was here for Hubert. Hubert, who was still alive. She carried on for the living… she could do this.

Her scars writhed the further she descended. She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, subconsciously seeking comfort.

She reached the last stair.

The silence was deafening. It buzzed into her core and she closed her eyes once more…she couldnt lose herself now. Not now. Later. Later. Feel this later. Deal with this later. Focus. Focus. Eagle. Her Eagles. Her teacher. Her friends. Her war. There was so much more outside. She was not confined… she was liberating someone who was. She was freeing yet another person she cared for from these shackles… she could do this. She breathed deep once more, and continued into the belly of the beast.

She passed many rooms with many different sets of tools... for different trials she could remember. She didn’t dare look into any of them, part of her sure she’d still dried Hresvelg blood around much of it. Hubert would be at the back in the cells.  She could make it.

The telltale signs of rats crawling and squeaking echoed through the walls. A choked sob escaped her, and it made her stumble a step. She told herself it was her imagination.

_ She remembered the knives in her skin _

She kept walking.

_ The poison being poured into her veins. _

She was stronger than this...

_ The shackles that she thrashed against. _

She breathed in an attempt to calm herself, holding it in.

_ The chill she could never quite shake. _

Count down from 10.

_ Her skin, still freshly cut, being cut into again. _

10…9…

_ Grasping her sisters hand. As she sobbed against the venom in her veins for the last time. _

8…7…

_ The day she woke to find her hair white. _

6…5…

_ Byleth’s fingers in her hair… _

4…3…

_ Byleth holding her hand… _

2… 1…

_Byleth’s fingers tracing her scars with featherlight touch… Byleth… _

She honed onto her like a light in the dark, and the easy energy and confidence it brought her was like a shield to the world around. She breathed a large sigh feeling some of her anxiety lessening. She took in another breath and counted again, thinking of her mercenary at every count.  She could do this.

_10...9...8...7..._ again. _8...7...6...5..._ again. _6...5...4...3_ again. _4...3...2..._ and she was at the cells. She grasped the bars in front of her to steady her shaking legs. Her eyes locked on the lone cell inhabitant.

“Hubert…” Her voice cracked softly as she found the huddled figure sitting against the back of the cell in a dark heap.

“Your Majesty…?”

**********************************************

The Blue Lions were deployed almost immediately, being the group with the least collective injuries, and Byleth was sent as their shepherd to hunt the wanted assassin. Ashe stayed behind with his wounded leg, making them an even 8 for the journey. As they marched Byleth noted that the energy was essentially the polar opposite to that of the Golden Deer. Whereas that trek had been lighthearted and semi-chaotic, the Kingdom youth carried on with an almost institutional air, two by two, one row in front of the other. She’d heard that Faerghus had struggled in the last few years, and got the impression that this generation carried a lot of that burden on their shoulders. Even Sylvain, who walked in step with her at the back of the group. His arms were behind his head in a forced, relaxed posture, but his mind was somewhere else.

In front of her were Mercedes and Annette, and they seemed content, chatting lightly as they walked. Annette looked back at Byleth.

“How was Ashe when you saw him Professor?”

“In good spirit. Legs gonna take awhile.”

She nodded.

“Usually he walks in your spot ya know.”

“Makes sense for an archer. Prime spot to keep eyes on everything.” Which was essentially what she was doing.  “Sylvain why do you walk back here?” She asked casually.

“Oh that’s easy, to look up Mercedes skirt.” He smiled a shit eating grin. “Now professor, before you try and hit me-“

He didn’t finish his sentence, she kicked out his legs from under him and left him on his ass as they kept walking. Annette and Mercedes both laughed. 

“That was cold!” Sylvain yelled from his spot on the floor.

“Hurry up, you’re gonna get left behind.” Byleth called back over her shoulder.

Felix and Ingrid were in front of the two girls, both steely grips on their weapons and eyes staring 1000 yards away. If Dedue and Dimitri stopped in their tracks she was almost certain they wouldn’t notice until they’d bumped into them. Battles were important to the two of them, and the precipice of another was daunting for them. She knew from the way they trained… and what they’d lost in the past.

The prince himself walked at the front, and she found herself concerned for him the most. He’d seemed wound tight since the battle at the Monastery. On edge, ready to lash out. And pale like he hadn’t had a wink of sleep. She knew the feeling... but he didn’t seem to be coping with the strain very well. Dedue loyally tracked alongside, glancing almost unnoticed at his liege every few minutes. She knew he worried, which made her worry more. 

Byleth suddenly smelled something in the air that pulled her from her thoughts.

_ “ Halt _ _.”_ She whispered assertively, moving to the front of the group. The path they were on overlooked a small valley beyond the trees, and at the edge of those woods she saw a village… and there was the unmistakeable scent of sulfur in the air. The kind that was left from burned oil… and bodies.

She motioned to the students, and noticed their eyes honing in. They smelt it too. Something bad was happening down there.

They slid down the small hill as quietly as they could and approached the towns outskirts. She motioned for them to split off into groups. Mercedes, Ingrid, Dedue, and Felix went around the far side, leaving her with Dimitri, Sylvain, and Annette. It was a ghost town as they moved through. The windows shattered… doors broken... the whole city desecrated.

She heard something and signaled her group to be on guard. As they crept closer the voice became clearer. That sick, pointed voice that belonged to the assassin, ringing out in the square.

When they were close enough, she saw all the townspeople gathered… and four posts belonging to a central bell tower constructed of wood. Tied to each beam was a group of people. Citizens of various ages, status, and tears at the moment. Amongst the strange scene... holding a torch in one hand and a sword he was shaking blood off of in the other, the assassin, _Metodey_ , paced back and forth. Bodies littered around his feet.

“AS I WAS SAYING!!” He sounded frantic. “Yet again, you have forced me to prove that fighting me is feeble. There is no need for those that have died to have, and no one else need join them. But look around and see the reminders, that I am not to be toyed with!” He gestured passionately at the forms at his feet. Byleth felt the air around Dimitri change and she grabbed this shoulder on instinct, holding him in place.

“I require the supplies I asked for, and I will not be leaving until I have them. I have half a mind to kill off every last one of you and let your blood spill through the cracks in the pavement!” There were concerned murmurs. A child crying. Byleth knew what he was doing. He was bluffing. He gestured around with his torch and pointed it at the different poles of prisoners, which Byleth noted were doused in oil. Voices gasped as their presumed loved ones were tied in the line of fire.

“And I will start with this lot here unless you can bring me what I seek!”

_“ Brother!_ _”_ A young boy broke away from the group, running toward one of the poles, but the assassin was too fast. He appeared in a flash, wrapping his elbow under his neck, and heaving him up off the ground. Panicked cries broke out across the ensemble, and Byleth understood how he’d lasted this long. Every time someone’s nerves broke, he punished them... hence the bodies. And every time someone was punished the guilt... would keep the others from acting. The fear of what he  could  do. 

“WHAT did I say? It’s like you people aren’t even listening!” He yelled out annoyed while the boy thrashed against him.

Byleth scanned the crowd, noticing few young, able bodied men or women. _Where was the guard? Where were the fighters? The hunters?_ Sure he was fast, but a few well placed swords and lances would have overwhelmed him. 

Dimitri brushed off her grasp on his shoulder and tried to lunge, only for Sylvain to wrap an arm around his chest and hold him at bay. He struggled against him with ragged breathes, but no words. His eyes were locked on the man in the middle of the chaos. Across the way Byleth quickly spotted Dedue in a similar predicament with Felix. The two of them were ready to charge the square. She knew that would lead to countless casualties. Metodey may be desperate, but he’d been smart. And now he had a shield. If they rushed in there would be lives lost.

Next to Dedue, Ingrid was giving Mercedes a boost up to a vantage point atop a roof and she signaled to Byleth as she drew her bow from far off. It would be a tough shot from her distance, and with the nervous man prowling in circles. Byleth needed to distract him. Line him up in the crosshairs.

Before she could decide Dimitri broke free of Sylvain with an elbow to the gut and booked it. She followed hastily. _Dammit. Time to improvise._

He pressed through the crowd until he was practically at the center and yelled out.

“YOU SHALL KNOW JUSTICE!” The assassin turned, startled and when they broke into the circle Byleth was able to grab the boy and put herself ahead of him, between the enemy and the student, one hand on the hilt of her weapon, one behind her keeping him at bay.

“Metodey.” She said calmly as his crazed eyes locked in on her.

“Well look who it is... the Ashen Demon herself.” There were mumbles from the crowd that she ignored. He had stopped pacing. “If you’re looking for blood, I’m afraid I don’t wish to share.” He said sinisterly, trying to rile her up. Dimitri still pushed from behind her, and she firmly grasped the collar of his breastplate, holding him in place. She slowly moved her other away from the hilt of her sword and lifted it to show her compliance. 

“Put the boy down.” She said simply. She didn’t look to where she knew Mercedes was... didn’t give away her ace.

“You’re in no place to be giving orders cretin.” He spat… trying to sound confident. His voice betrayed him, he was at his ropes end. He extended his arm with the torch, and she saw it shake. “I have a new requirement, tear that woman apart! Or I will burn this place to the ground with all of you trapped in it!” He shouted, trying to heard the mob. A few gave concerned glances toward her, looking unsure.  This could get bad. She needed to stall.

“Don’t worry… he’s all talk.” She said to the villagers.

“OH? You dare doubt me?” He tried to make a show, but now it was as if he was battling for attention rather than a victory. Byleth wasn’t as talented at these measures… so she tried to think of what Edelgard would do. She would keep him talking… keep her words open ended… make them reveal.  _Stall._

“Your kind don’t normally go this far out of their way Metodey… what could you possibly be searching for?” That seemed to strike a nerve.

“My  kind. HA! They left me.” His words trembled. “Those bastards… I gave them  everything and they warped out leaving me like a shit in the sun. Can you imagine?!” He looked sweaty... and wild... and his shoulders shook now too as he grit his teeth. “Well screw em. You want names? You want plans?! You want to know about the Flame Emperor?! I’ll tell-” A sharp whistle through the air, a moment where he turned as if understanding, and then an arrow lodged into the side of his head, above his ear. He collapsed, dead before he hit the ground, and Byleth rushed forward to catch the corpse and free the boy. The child cried as she pulled him away, holding him closely as he coughed and sputtered against her armor.

“You’re ok.” She told him as she snuffed out the torch under her boot. The rest of the Lions came forward quickly, surprising the villagers, and released the ropes, freeing the people. A man ran toward Byleth in tears, and she set the boy down to reunite with his family. Dimitri knelt over the dead mans body.

“He knew about the Flame Emperor...” He muttered under his breath and pushed the tip of his boot against his head, watching his glossed over, unresponsive eyes.

“Kinda a quick mission wouldn’t ya say teach?” Sylvain offered. The villagers had broken out into cries of celebration, coming forward to reunite with loved ones and greet their saviors. Through the crowds she could still see the lasting damage. The injuries. The need.

“Were not done quite yet.”

**********************************************

Hubert looked pale. So pale. He had lost weight, his clothes were dirty, and his arm was bound tightly against his chest in a sling. When his eyes met hers they looked so… hurt. So mournful. But not at his own pain, but rather at her bruised eye, her cut hair. The scrapes from the glass on her once pristine face, scarring already to match the rest of her.

“You’re here…” He was stunned as he took her in, silence stretching before them.

“I’m here Hubert.” She suddenly felt guilt. So much guilt. While she’d been in bed with Byleth, he had been here. Suffering for their people. For her. “Forgive me, I should not have been away this long.”

He shook his head immediately before scrunching his features and hanging his face in shadows.

“Please, refrain. You owe me no apologies. It is I who have failed you... Yet again...” Hubert looked far more emotional than she’d ever seen. She crouched to be at eye-level with her friend.

“This is not your failure to bear alone Hubert. We were blindsided. We shouldn’t have been.”

“I shouldn’t have let you go after her...” He said finally and that brought a chill to her. One she couldn’t consider right now.

“Regardless, we should have expected them to break their deals. We had never equated for Cornelia to become involved. That proved to be a fatal error.” Hubert nodded and met her eyes once more. “However we arrived here, we’re here now. And I need you by my side as always. It is the only chance we stand at victory.”

He sighed deeply, and she saw the face of the person she had always relied on, breaking through the gloom of the moment.

“Of course your majesty. There will be time later to ruminate in our misery, I suppose. For now…” A small smile broke his lips, one she thought Hubert only ever allowed himself to wear around her. “I am relieved to see you’ve returned, and our reunion will be sweeter in some less harrowing location.” She grinned.

“There’s the Hubert I know. I have missed him.” She said honestly and a smile passed between them. He even chuckled and shook his head.

“You flatter me, though I’m sure it’s been rather dry without my marvelous wit.” He spoke so dry she almost returned his laugh, the ominous air surrounding them slipping away. She was coming to find the strength she’d always prided herself on… grew and flourished when she had others to help carry it.

“Tell me of your arm.” Her formal air returned to her as she started to think on their escape plan.

“They wished to keep me from warping out... so they break this wrist every few days to immobilize me.” Edelgard winced at the thought.

“They couldn’t use shackles?”

“Well you see, I’ve learned a way to warp around those... the other thing I learned... is how to cast warp with my left hand.” Hubert looked rather pleased with himself and Edelgard felt a beam on her face. He was always improving. Always striving to be of further use. She couldn’t imagine taking on their current circumstance without him at her side. But an idea came with it.

“If that were the case, why do you remain here? Can you not leave?”

“It is not as... powerful. I would need my right arm to jump further than the castle itself, and until you arrived... it was useful to have an ear on the inside.” Just like Hubert to use his position as a prisoner to spy. Always turning obstacles into options.

“I’m sure you have learned much.”

“But of course.”

“Can you tell me where Shamir is?”

Huberts eyes trained on her, assessing what answer he should give.

“I can... but you’re not thinking of going after her, are you?”

“I am.”

Hubert stared very intently at her.

“Far be it from me to question your tastes, but I don’t think-“

“No no, nothing of the sort Hubert!” She blushed slightly and shook her hand.

“She has proven a very loyal ally in a very short time and I...” She tried to find a way to explain it. “I do not wish to be like them.” She said finally, thinking how quick they were to dispose of ally, friend, or foe indiscriminately. “I refuse to throw anyone away when I stand a chance at saving them.” 

She’d known him long enough to know what his disapproving gaze was asking.  _We’re going to risk everything to save a knight of Seiros?_ And sure, on paper (and probably in practice) it was foolish. And she knew when her war would start she wouldn’t be able to save everyone... but something in her gut told her not to walk away.

“Do you think there is a reasonable way to do that?” Hubert asked.

She nodded. She’d thought on this for awhile, and Hubert being able to cast warp from both arms certainly boosted their odds from dismal to slim.

“I do... I think I have an appropriate distraction planned... and it benefits in us retrieving something else from that snake of a woman.” Hubert smirked as if catching onto her idea and shook his head.

“Was there anything I could’ve said that would have dissuaded you from following after her?” He asked, trace humor in his tone.

She returned a small deprecating smile, thinking of when she’d left in the Flame Emperor mask.

“No.”

“Then I suppose this will be much the same, and I have no choice but to go along with it.” She nodded.

“I’ll fill you in on the details, but first things first, let me take a look at your wrist.”

Hubert quirked an eyebrow, and she offered a proud smile.

“You’re not the only one who picked up new tricks.”

**********************************************

Byleth brushed the sweat away from her face. The sun was starting to come back down from its highest point in the sky. They’d made good progress. She looked around at the Lions as they worked, and saw some of their militarized approach softening. Doing deeds for others was cleary doing well to alleviate some of their own stress. They’d helped bring in crops, repaired structural damage, and dug graves. Though she wouldn’t have them handle the bodies, that was a task she could spare them from today. She took charge in wrapping and lowering the deceased into place, along with the families and townsfolk. She finished filling in the last of the graves, and noticed Dedue following after Annette, holding flowers they’d picked and placing them at the heads of each tomb. Across the way she saw Mercedes knelt with a family grieving, leading them in some kind of prayer. She could see the calm energy Mercedes always had carrying easing into the mourners around her. She moved closer.

“There is a candle burning bright, the wax drips to the floor. A gust of wind will snuff it out, til it’s dark once more.”

She looked up to Byleth with a smile as she heard her approach.

“Oh hello Professor, would you care to join us?”

She nodded to the small gathered family, and took an open place around the mound, matching her hands to that of Mercedes.

“Though the candle is unlit, its embers still have burned… and as the smoke is carried off, we think of all its learned.” Mercedes finished the prayer with a serene smile. _This suited her._ The family rose and shook hands, offering many thanks before returning to the village.

“Where’d you learn that?” Byleth asked Mercedes.

“Oh, it was a poem my younger brother and I made together. He would get so anxious around our father, and those words often soothed him. I have to say... now I find them rather soothing myself.”

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Byleth thought aloud. She nodded.

“Yes, a half-brother. Emile. I haven’t seen him in some time.”

Byleth sensed the pain of the topic. She knew the young priestess’ past hadn’t been easy. A less prying question struck her as she watched her gather her bow.

“Why did you choose Archery and Faith magic as your focuses?” She asked. Mercedes gave her a small curious smile. “There’s no class that supports those two skill sets… and they are both distance based attacks. It seems a strange combination.”

“While I suppose that is true... those are the two things I wished to excel in. And I use them for very different reasons.” Byleth found she admired the girl for her answer. “And if there is no class for them yet... then perhaps they’ll just have to make one for me.” She giggled into the back of her knuckles.  _She had conviction._

As they finished what they could do for the day Byleth stood with the students at the outskirts of town, shaking hands with the small group that came to see them out.

“Thank you for coming to our aide. You are truly a blessing.” Spoke a kind elder woman. She leaned heavily on a cane and Byleth crouched to receive her at eye level.

“Of course, we’re happy to do it. But I was curious… why is it you have no guard?” The question had been bothering her since she’d arrived.

The woman looked surprised.

“Well, because of the church of course. They came through and recruited for their ranks. It’s a very high honor to fight for the church.” The answer made Byleth feel sick.

“Right, but shouldn’t some have stayed behind to protect the village?”

“Well the church had made it sound rather urgent. We sent everyone we could spare. We… never expected something like this…” A sadness passed through her eyes and she shook her head of it. “But, we were rewarded with your kindness in turn. So perhaps it was as it was meant to be.” The elder tried a smile again, but Byleth couldn’t share it. She nodded instead and accepted her thanks. As she walked away she thought to tell Rhea that they should send some troops back. This couldn’t be the only village this had happened to... and a weak village could be exploited. She saw Sothis float alongside her.

_“You think Rhea will really send anyone back with the Church in its current state?”_ Sothis asked thoughtfully. Byleth shrugged, trying to avoid attention.

 _“I’d say the church is rather focused with protecting itself first and foremost.”_ Sothis answered her own question.

 _To what end?_ Byleth wondered in response.

The idea bothered her as they walked back, and she tried to think of ways she could approach the topic with the Archbishop.

The group had lost its strict formation, and instead carried a lighter air and looser structure as they journeyed home. Dimitri was stewing close by, staring into the dirt as if it held all the answers. She fell into stride alongside him.

“You holding up alright?” She asked, breaking him from his otherworldly stare.

“Oh, yes… I am… I am fine. Thank you.” She didn’t believe it but didn’t want to push too much. She saw Felix with a similar demeanor after what they’d seen. When that child had yelled for his brother…

“Profess-“ Dimitri caught himself and cleared his throat. “Pardon me. Lady Eisner is the appropriate title now, isn’t it?” She wove her hand of it.

“Professor is fine. Byleth is fine. Lady Eisner is a bit much.” He nodded.

“Professor then. I… thank you for your help today. It was… very valuable to remember the toll that is left after a battle is over…” His eyes zeroed in on something over the horizon. An echo of far way pain traced across his expression.

“We could help, so we did. Doing the best you can with what you have is all anyone can do.” She summarized.

“Is that why you became a knight?” Dimitri sounded genuinely curious.

“Something like that.”

“I was… a little surprised honestly, after everything I heard about you and El I thought you’d want to follow her to the Empire.”  _Did he just call her... El?_ That almost stopped her in her tracks.

“I… still intend to go. How long have you known El?”

“Hmm? Oh, well since we were young. She’s my step sister.”

“She is?” That was… alarming. Dimitri carried on as if it were common knowledge. Maybe it was.

“Yes, her birth mother left the Empire and married my father. When we were children she spent a few years in the Kingdom and I got to know her as a friend. That was before…” His voice trailed off, but he swallowed the dark thought before speaking it. “Then I didn’t see her again until we enrolled here. Though I like to think we were close.”

_ Must’ve been if she asked you to call her El... _

That thought tasted weird. Was this…  _ jealously?_

“I’ll admit, after what I heard Rhea speak… I was concerned. But it must’ve been unfounded if you still chose to trust in her.”

“What did Rhea say?” Byleth asked, not following the conversation.

“She mentioned wanting to keep you close... she called you a... what was it… Progenitor God I think was the title.”

And like a cannon in her chest, all the pieces she’d been missing burst like a powdered keg. Some miracle of force, maybe Sothis herself, kept her from collapsing on the spot. Her heartbeat... the missing stone... the scar... the Immaculate One... the reason Rhea wanted her to be a knight...

_ Had she… been a plaything all this time? _

_ What was Rhea after? _

_ What the hell was she? _

She reached absently at her chest where she knew the scar lay. Dimitri may have continued speaking, she wasn’t sure, she couldn’t hear him if he did. She glanced up and saw Sothis floating by, sharing her expression of skull splitting confusion.

Byleth had questions. So many, that stained her soul like the stained glass windows of the cathedral. But if you shined a light through, she wasn’t sure you’d like the image created. Only the Archbishop would know… and it was time to answer some of the dark mysteries that plagued her. She wouldn’t let her avoid it this time. She was getting answers.

**********************************************

Edelgard and Hubert appeared in the upper hall amidst a portal of purple and black mist. She felt the world spin for a few seconds before shaking her head of it.  _Still nauseating, but a convenient way to get around_. Hubert massaged his newly repaired wrist. It wasn’t perfect, she hadn’t worked on bones before, but it had been enough for Hubert to cast his warp successfully.

“You never cease to impress me Lady Edelgard...” He smirked in genuine praise, and Edelgard recalled Byleth saying something similar to her once upon a time. “We should move quickly. She’ll be this way.” He nodded in the direction, and they made their way through the mostly empty halls. Guards would be lighter this high up.

They pressed up against a wall as a patrol made their rounds, and for the first time, Edelgard felt the fatigue gnawing at the back of her being. It’d been barely 12 hours since she’d arrived, and she’d already broken out and back in. It was taking a toll. She steadied her breathing and counted from ten once more. All the worries... all the pain… all the ‘what comes nexts’… could wait. If she could leave with her two allies and heirloom in tow... she’d consider it a victory. And she could already tell they’d need to savor every small victory.

She glanced at her accomplice. They still had much to discuss, much to catch each other up on, but she realized in their brief reunion how much she had missed him. The common quip in the capital had referred to Hubert as her shadow, ever since youth, but it was in essence, true. And she had gone all this time without a shadow… without something so fundamental.

“Should I ask if the hair is for fashion or function?” He said simply as they maneuvered through the corridors. Edelgard smirked.

“More of a recent development. Not planned, but I think I pull it off rather well.”

“That you do. I’m sure the Professor will find it satisfactory.”

“Hubert.” She said in a warning tone.

“Apologies Your Majesty, entertainment was… lacking in the basement.” He really had quite a way with words.  “This should be the one.” He stopped and studied a door before nodding confidently. She recovered the skeleton key and unlocked the handle, quickly shuffling inside with Hubert close behind.

The room was mostly for storage, but against the far wall resided a single shadowed figure, bound and slumped in an uneven pile on the ground. A chain around her neck, shackles hanging off her legs and arms... a single free cuff with no wrist to latch onto.

Shamir looked like hell. Edelgard was at her side immediately and eased her into as comfortable a position as she could. She was limp, like a rag doll, moving with no resistance. Her clothes were torn in places, her skin cold, and the bruising on her jaw already purpling around the edges. The most obvious affliction through, the bloody stump where her left arm once was... now only a jagged surface of dried blood. A bird who’s wing was clipped. An archer who had lost their bow...

It was upsetting, even before she saw the the skin clotting and clumping around the marred flesh. It made a certain sickness churn in her stomach, thinking of the agony endured on a wound of that kind. Her unconscious expression was twisted in one of pain.

Edelgard nodded to Hubert and he took one of the chains in hand, directing a miasma spell into the metal. A purple aura dotted the surface in random blots until the chains snapped and decayed.  _Perfect._ They could get her out.

Phase one was done. Now for phase two.

“Is it still where we left it?” She asked. He nodded in response, not breaking his focus from his task. “And she’ll be...”

“Emperor’s chambers, opposite end of the hall.” Hubert muttered. Edelgard made for the exit.

“Bar the door as we discussed... meet me as soon as you can. Don’t dilly dally.” 

“When have I ever?” He asked with his usual dryness. She shared a smirk with him as she left. One more task... and they’d be gone. Spending any more time here was a risk, but she hoped to reclaim at least one thing that was truly hers.

As she entered the room that had belonged to Ionius, she felt the memories rising... moments with her father. It had been years since she’d come to see him here. He had been sickly... weak... emaciated, and he spent much of his time at the end with maids and nurses. She regretted not being at his side in his last days... Immediately Byleth’s words rang through her head.  _No use hanging onto regrets._ The indigo haired woman was working into more and more of her mind lately. She wondered if her father would have liked her. Her last memory of him was at her coronation... the smile he’d given her had been the warmest thing that passed between them in almost a decade...

She let her fleeting nostalgia drift away and returned to her task, counting the seconds in her head it would take Hubert to enact their plan. When she crouched by the bedside she found the weapon box, and slid out the massive case. Running a gloved hand along the top and flipping up both latches, she lifted the lid to find...  nothing.  It was empty.

“Looking for something?” Asked a voice that was familiarly bubbly and brazen. She turned to see Cornelia in the doorway with a horde of soldiers, her arms playfully on her hips with a look of smug celebration.

“You can’t think I would just leave something like that lying around?”

Edelgard said nothing, rising slowly with her fists balled and her stance defiant.

“Ooh, love the hair.” She said with a wink, before shifting her weight to her opposite hip. “Funny, I was sure you’d go to save your little friend, with all your big morals speeches over the years, but in the end, it was the power, wasn’t it?"

Edelgard remained silent, letting her fill her own monologue... and unknowingly buy her time.

"You like to think you’re so different from us... but were all the same. And you know what? We’re better for it. That’s why you  belong with us. _That’s_ why you couldn’t stay away. We, who do what must be done, we know the proverbial burden that comes with such power. It must be _soooo_ taxing to carry it alone.”

She kept looked between the soldiers and Cornelia... stretching... delaying. Counting down. She smirked as she felt their timer running out.

“Then it would seem you’ve underestimated me yet again,” Edelgard said slowly taking a step back. “For you see... I’m not alone.”

With near theatric timing a purple hum apparated into the space and swirled, revealing Hubert, Shamir supported under his right arm, Aymr clutched in the other. He’d found it after all. Their plan had worked perfectly. He threw the axe to her as she hurried the few steps to him, and cast another warp with his opposite arm. She smiled as she pressed against his shoulder and they vanished through. She enjoyed the sight of Cornelia’s presumed victory leaving her eyes, replaced by a sudden shock, and then a deep-seated scowl as they disappeared from sight. _Suck on that._

They landed on hard ground, Hubert barely able to support himself and Shamir, while Edelgard discarded her crest weapon without a second look to steady them. She saw his legs shake, and could only image the strain of so many warps. They eased down to their knees, and laid Shamir across the ground, watching her chest rise and fall, and Edelgard found herself finally able to breathe fully. They’d done it... _they’d_ _ really done it._

She sat there while, letting the exhaustion begin to catch her, and appreciating their success in silence before giving thought to where they were. A quick look around revealed a bunker of some sort? A fortress? When she caught the flags on the wall she realized it was Fort Merceus, a proud battle camp that resided in House Bergliez’s territory, and was notoriously strongheld. Edelgard wondered why Hubert would bring them here, but then heard noise in the courtyard below. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she sacrificed the little energy she had to get back to her feet and approach the banister, looking down from the second floor... and what she saw below... were people. From all walks of life. She saw nobles, alongside commoners, alongside knights and mercenaries. Hundreds of them stretched over the expansive courtyard, coming and going. Sharing meals, or wares, or just each others company. They were all equals... and for the first time that day… she felt resolute hope.  This was her path. She would fight for this.

Hubert appeared next to her, quickly filing back into his usual post at her side, and met her blissful confusion with a soft knowing.

“Welcome to the resistance Your Majesty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I wanted to say a lot of things, but what I’m going to say first is thank you. Thanks for reading this, thanks for letting me write this, thanks for being as incredibly welcoming and supportive as you have been of the story. The world is in a new kind of chaos seemingly every day, and I’m really... really thankful to have this. To have this story to tell, this community to come to, this tangible thing I can do and world I can build where things aren’t complete shit. (or maybe they are, this is rather angsty) It’s nice. And you all taking the time to read it, join in, and hopefully finding something that can give you joy or companionship in a time where there can always be more... it means a great deal to me, and I’m just thankful.
> 
> Now that being said, I hope you enjoyed this extra delayed, extra lengthy chapter. Lots to unpack (you would think in 14k words there’d be.)  
> Were you more excited to see Hubert or less excited to see Shamir’s arm in a box? Dark question, huh?  
> We’re moving closer and closer to third arc, and it felt like setting up all the horses for the big race, and that we’re about to wave the flag and unleash the gates. Until next time!  
> Be well everyone! Be safe! Be kind to one another!


	8. Reconstruction of Self

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth demands answers and gets something else  
> Edelgard catches her breath and gathers her allies  
> The two’s perpetual paths are getting closer and closer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GIYS. GIYS. GIYS.  
> Hello there :)
> 
> Most of my notes at the start are just laughing about how long the word count is, apologizing for it being so long since our last update, and telling you how much fun it was to write this one.  
> This one wasn’t fun for a long time. It made me really reorganize and evaluate, and I sat on it for too long and started second guessing every scene in it.  
> Now that its done there are so many lines I love. So many snippets I think came together beautifully. And I’m truly pleased with it. Hope you will be too :)

**Part 8 - After Stockholm**

Byleth threw open the door to the Audience Chamber with an echoed thud. It hung in the air between them like suspended spiders. Eerie and spiraled.

Rhea looked up, concerned, from where she stood in conference with Seteth.

“We need to talk.” Byleth spoke with a barely restrained storm at the end of her words. The thunder was rumbling, the mist from the surge already settled.

The march back with the Lions had only given her anger time to grow. Partly at the world, partly at herself for letting this go on this long, and partly at the woman before her who held the key, and had left her locked out all this time.

And… she had let her. She had resigned herself, allowing the excuses and the deflections.

No more.

“Seteth, would you give us a few minutes?” The eyes of that General returned. Assessing the damage.

“Of course... Lady Rhea.” Though his body language was torn between wanting to fight or flee. He stepped cautiously past Byleth, who kept her lips grit for as long as she could. She was afraid once she opened the proverbial damn, she wouldn’t be able to stop the flood beneath.

“My child... what ails you?” Rhea asked, coming to stand before her.

“You...” Byleth whispered.

Rheas eyes widened.

“You have been lying to me... and I need to know why.” The overwhelming feeling in her chest tapped against her composure, over and over, slowly cracking through the last defense.

“What ever do you mean my child?” She tried, soothing her voice just so. But no... she was not to be tried. Not now.

“What... is a Progenitor God... and why was my mother one?” She looked deep into the other woman’s eyes, her own cold and hardened beyond steel. Beyond silver. Beyond the tundras of Faerghus in late winter.

All she saw behind the jade green was surprise.

“I...why do you ask of this?”

“The real question is why you haven’t told me.” Byleth said, the fury in her bubbling under her skin, a kettle about to steam.

“Professor... there are... many things you can not hope to understand-”

“Bullshit.” Byleth grit, and the water boiled over. Rhea looked as if she’d spit in her face. “That’s all bullshit. You know what I am asking. Why can I wield the Sword of the Creator? Why don’t I have a heartbeat? Why did my father have to fake my death to get away from you? _What am I?_ ”

“Please... calm yourself.” Rhea tried, raising the authority in her voice. Trying to regain control of the situation. She reached for Byleth’s shoulder and the mercenary intercepted her, snatching her wrist from the air and holding it at bay. Rhea gasped at the action, or the audacity, or both and they held each others eyes in a standstill. The Archbishop did not struggle, and she did not squeeze, only applying enough pressure to match the intensity of their gazes.

“How…” Byleth’s voice trembled with emotion. “Did the crest of flames end up in my chest?” Rheas lips parted in surprise.

“You… how do you…?”

Byleth grit her teeth and threw her hand away from her, stepping back from the liar of a leader.

“At that place... they wanted something from me. Something I couldn’t give them. Something I didn’t know of. But they found it. And whatever was put in me... I deserve to know why!” Tears stained her cheeks. She couldn’t remember when they’d sprung, or a time when she was this angry. It felt like being back at that place… helpless in a new way. She wished she had something to break.

Rhea looked to fight an inner war as she watched Byleth.

“You do... you do deserve to know. But not now.” She whispered.

“Thats not for you to decide!” Byleth retaliated. “Whatever you did to me... It took away my choice. Took away my humanity. What right did you have to do either!?” She challenged, all but screaming.

“You know not what you speak of.” Rhea said back, finding her own bite behind her words.

“That’s my point!” She cracked the side of her fist against the nearest pole, fracturing a large chunk of porcelain and sending it across the room. She hadn’t meant to channel her crest. She panted with exertion, and tried to slow her breathing. “Keeping me in the dark… is a poor way to instill confidence... and I’ve given you enough time to come to me. I don’t need partial truths anymore, I need it all.”

She turned her eyes and her challenge to Rhea who gazed far off… her composure cracked.

“Would you…” The Archbishop paused as if carefully considering her next words. “Would you like to go to the Mausoleum? There is something that may hold your answers.”

**********************************************

Edelgard sighed heavily pushing her hands up from against the stone floor. She’d been there for hours, expanding every last ounce of energy she had after the many harrowing events of recent days. She felt light headed and winded, her hands prickling with pins and needles. She’d overexerted herself. Spots dotting her vision as she rose to her feet, and she was tempted to let gravity pull her back down.

Red stained across her palms, dried and dyed and leaving its mark. No matter how much she wiped them on her shorts, the color remained. Just some of the blood that would fall on her hands… But this blood symbolized an attempt to sustain someone that had lost so much. It was hope.

She donned her previously discarded gloves. No longer white… but still a way to hide the past from sight, and took a deep breath as she steadied herself against the doorframe.

She cast one last look over her shoulder at Shamir’s sleeping form. The archer hadn’t regained consciousness for more than to grumble of air, or to slightly shift... but she was breathing and she was alive… that would have to be enough. Though her future and recovery were still shrouded and unclear. A fact Hubert had reminded her of when he'd carried her into the room.

“Your Majesty… I must insist-“

“Do we have any other healers?” She asked, already weary.

“….. No. Our enemies were smart. They’ve targeted our mages. Recruiting or removing them”

Edelgard nodded.

“Then it has to be me.”

“I understand your attachment to the subject, however-“

“Hubert, I have to try.”

“I implore you to save your strength. We don’t even know if it’s possible.”

“That’s never stopped me before.” She smirked softly at her friend and he paused with his mouth open and sighed away his next response.

“I hope you are successful in your endeavor… for your sake as well as hers.”

And he had hit the nail on the head. She needed this to work… to know she hadn’t cost someone like her… someone like Byleth… so much. She nodded in response.

“Thank you Hubert. You should get some rest.”

He scoffed a laugh.

“As if I would leave your side again.”

As she opened the door and saw the late afternoon sun, almost blinding in comparison to the dim light she’d been inhabiting, she found he was right where she’d left him. Standing to the side of the door, slumped against the wall, arms crossed and peering far in the distance.

“You look tired.” She said with a meek smile. He flicked his eyes in her direction.

“As do you. How did it go?”

Edelgard shrugged.

“As well as it could’ve.”

Truthfully…Edelgard had no idea how to gauge something like this in terms of success. Reattaching veins, limbs, and nerves wasn’t something she had done… much less to this degree.

But she recalled watching Byleth teach a spur of the moment lesson on a march. She waved their convoy to a stop, crouching to scoop up an injured bird in hand that feebly chirped with its crippled wing.

“Healing magic is all about imagining what you can’t see.” She had a way of speaking so softly about things not related to battle. Her cobalt eyes relaxed and cool. “They’re things that the body will attempt to heal on its own, but something significant can be almost impossible… without a little help.”

The bird pecked weakly in her palm, and she ran a thumb across the feathers in a soothing gesture.

“Nerves are the biggest parts of that. You see them in your mind like threads…. weaving and forming bonds and connections.”

She rested her hands over the injured creature, and a glowing light incased it. The chirping intensified, the bird shaking out its newly repaired wing as it was set back down, and flapped off into the day. Byleth watched it go with an almost wistful smile, as if she envied its path to the sky.

“How do you know if it works?” Dorothea had asked.

Byleth gave a small smile, which even then had tugged at Edeglard’s heart.

“They call it faith magic for a reason.”

She felt a ping of hope at the memory. Having no experience with something of this scale was daunting. But she… and the irony was not lost on her in the moment… would have to have faith. Faith that the archer would live to string another bow… or at the very least… live.

She noticed for the first time, that over Huberts shoulder were two kindly women with a stack of towels and a dish of water.

“I called for them while you were working. They’ll get her to a bed and clean her up best they can.”

She smiled in thanks. He may not always understand completely why she stuck her claims where she did. He may even challenge her on it. But he would _always_ support her. And that... she knew was so rare to find in an ally. In a friend.

“Thank you Hubert... I have missed you.”

“Sentiment has never been my forte.” He looked away with a small curve of a lip. “But I missed you as well, your majesty.”

“I fear there is much for you to catch me up on.” She sighed, stepping aside for the helpers to pass through.

“Indeed. But I believe it can wait. You should try and get some rest.”

True. It had been at least 48 hours awake… longer since she’d had a bed. She thought of the times Byleth had had them camp out during expeditions. She imagined curling up next to her now… feeling her arm around her waist and the warmth of someone so treasured against her. She closed her eyes and sighed away her longing.

“Both of us should.” She said to her tired compatriot. He hummed something like an agreement. “But tell me what you can as we walk to our rooms.”

He nodded with a sharp smile, he’d already relented to her plan. They started walking in their familiar stride.

“How did this place come to be?” She asked.

“When Cornelia arrived I knew something must have gone wrong, and they quickly imposed their own agenda and their own people. Any who were loyal to you or offered opposition to them were in danger… so I contacted Randolph.”

They passed by the atrium again, and could see the people below as they went about their day. So many different people… different lives… co-existing.

“I knew Bergliez territory could offer us somewhere secure, far enough from the capital, unexpected as a military base that needs no reinforcing. So Randolph and I have been directing people here that the Slitherers would rather _disappear_. It was going well, until they realized what I was indeed up to. So I was thrown into the dungeons, while he managed to avoid detection and continue the work of protecting the people.”

She looked down across the sea of faces, of refugees who dared to dream of a better future, or had no choice. There were families, washing and hanging clothes. A group in armor helping a group of merchants carry in carts of supplies. There was an old noblemen across the way reading a book of tales to a group of children. Edelgard stopped in her tracks. Among them... were a boy and girl sitting side by side. The boy looked to be around three... the girl about fifteen... They sat with a piece of red fabric draped over both of their shoulders... her cape.

The children from the castle... were here.

The girl looked off in her direction and her eyes stopped when she saw her. She nudged the little boy, who’s eyes widened, and he waved happily with the uncoordinated enthusiasm of a toddler.

“Friends of yours?” Hubert asked with a glimmer of a smile, never missing a detail.

She returned the wave, watching the boy stand up to wave with both of his hands, and suddenly all the children were waving at her. There was something like victory in the air… from that small action alone. It would have to be the first of many small victories for the Rebellion. But all victories had to start somewhere.

**********************************************

The Archbishop’s footsteps echoed through the empty cathedral. Byleth had never understood the need of a building this grand for worship, and when no one was here it seemed extra superfluous. Like a fortress meant to intimidate.

She walked a few steps behind the golden crown, watching intently. The pressure she was feeling in her chest was still crushing, and had done little to alleviate during their journey here. Her hands still balled at her side, and a desperate need… to stop feeling this way.

She wasn’t sure if knowing the secrets would make her feel better or worse… but the indecision of it was absolutely crippling.

Rhea stopped at the door at the back of the hall. The one where guards had been stationed and secrets buried along with her dead. She took a deep sigh, then finally turned to her, with an expression that lay between ailed and exhausted. No longer authoritative, but searching in her mind for... something.

“Professor… you have asked many questions. Questions that have no simple answers… but I will try. If you please.”

She gestured to the entryway and Byleth relented, standing at her side as they each pushed open one of the massive doors. They creaked softly under the weight of the carved oak, and the two women fell in step as they descended. No more hesitation.

As they journeyed down, Rhea took another breath and held it, before letting it pass through whatever pain she’d been holding... and beginnig her tale.

“Once… long ago… the Goddess walked amongst us. It was said that she was the Blue Sea Star itself… incarnate. Fell from the heavens above, to our lands below.”

 _Fell star…_ called out in the back of Byleth’s mind… the hairs on her neck pricked upright.

“She used her power to create a race in her image, gifted her light to a people all her own. And history has called them... Nabeteans.”

Her words echoed inside the passage… but they seem to rebound off something deeper inside Byleth… as if she’d heard all this before. As if… it were a history she had a part in.

“She… was the first Progenitor God.”

They reached the end of the stairs, and entered into a massive room… and Byleth felt the air change. She’d been around enough dead bodies to know the way their presence felt. The tomb was filled with them.

“The _first_ Progenitor God?” Byleth spoke, remembering what Dimitri had called her... what the documents had classified her mother as.

Rhea hung her head a moment, composing her thoughts.

“There have been... attempts. Those thought destined to follow in her footsteps... but never succeeding.” She saw the reflection of a carried failure on her chest and in the tension of her shoulders. “We’ve had... many who were thought the rebirth of our Goddess. Who would restore the balance that was thought lost when she was taken from us...”

_Taken...?_

Rhea looked back up with a determination settling in, focusing her eyes on something on the opposite side of the room. Byleth followed the line and saw....

“Sothis’ throne.” She murmured.

Rheas eyes shot up at her words.

“Professor... do you recognize this place?” The question drenched in hope.

“No... not exactly but...” She kept her eyes trained on the throne and began walking toward in, compelled by some foreign volition.

“I recognize that...”

She stepped passed the casks and carvings, the remains of a culture, hardly paying them any mind.

Suddenly all she could wonder... was why the seat she had first met the young, glowing green girl atop was here... under the place she lived in. The last time she’d seen it was when she had almost crossed to the plane of the afterlife... the last time... was when she’d spoken to her father...

She stopped directly in front of it and felt a humming through her chest. A deep-seated vibration.

“Professor... please... sit on the throne.” Rhea stood at her side, transfixed. Eyes hinging on some great desire. Once again... that look as if she were peering through her.

“But... it’s not my throne.” Byleth said. Something felt off.

“Professor…” Rhea stared intently now at the stone seat. “This place is sacred, it is where Lady Seiros herself once received a vision from the Goddess. The truths you seek… if they lie anywhere… it is here.”

Again… that pulling sensation. That vibration in her chest that set off all her other instincts, pitting them at war with themselves. This place… this throne… her past…

She rested her gloved hand on the arm rest, and felt the cool through the touch of leather. She trailed her fingers along the length of stone.

_Sothis… maybe your memories will tie to mine._

She breathed in deep and gave a nod, feeling the eyes of the Archbishop widen next to her in anticipation.

“Thank you my starling… what you do… you do for all of us.”

She could barely hear her words, as the vibration in her chest was now resounding… off her insides, around her spine, into her ears and behind her eyes. She took her seat, feeling the whispers inside becoming louder. She closed her eyes, attempting to focus on the moment, and then…

Everything was silent.

She opened her eyes. ****

**********************************************

The morning light filtered in through the boards of the door. Uneven lines seeping passed cracks in no real pattern, stretching the span of the room and across Edelgard’s cheeks. She let her blurry vision bring the world into focus at its own pace, taking in the moment. Everything was different, nothing was as planned, and she was here now… having to deal with the knew circumstance.

But she felt somehow… calm. The feelings of failure, of loss and agony, of insurmountable challenges piling up in front of her as she now faced down two terribly powerful enemies at once. It was all there at the back of her mind… but she had survived worse, she told herself. _Twice._

This would be different, she knew. She was playing with other peoples lives now. With the continent’s future. Not just her own. But being the underdog, whether because of her size or circumstance, was something she was becoming accustomed to. She could weather this too.

 _Especially_ , she thought, _with her by my side._

There was a knock at the door, and the sound of it was so familiar she knew it was Hubert before the telltale second knock.

“Come in.” She smiled, in spite of her inner worries, pushing herself up to a seated position. Her shadowed friend entered carrying a tray with a pot of tea and slice of toast, smeared with some flavor of fruit preserves.

“Your Majesty.” He greeted.

“Hubert.” She greeted in turn.

He set the tray at the foot of the bed in the quaint room they’d managed to devise for her on short notice, then stood back about a foot, arms behind his back. _Typical._ She thought. It was easy falling back into routines, and truthfully it helped. At least some things were still the same.

But she knew her friend well enough to see that something was on his mind. She took the toast and had a hearty bite, recognizing how long it had been since she’d eaten anything.

“Apologies, it was all I could manage. The staff is short on supplies.”

“This is perfectly suitable Hubert. I need nothing more.” She said.

“There are washing chambers when you are ready, and I have managed to locate a suitable change of clothes.”

“But there is something more than logistics you wish to discuss with me.” She said knowingly.

“Yes… there is.” He said looking to the floor then taking a breath and meeting her eye.

“It’s about what I’ve heard occurred at the monastery gate.”

Edelgard’s ears turned pink at the tips. _How many people had heard of that?_

“Yes. I presumed we’d have this talk at some point.” She set the toast back down.

“I… trust you understand my thoughts on the matter without me having to voice them?” Hubert asked, maintaining his aloof stoicism.

“You may as well, anyway.” She said, seeing his slight fidget.

“It is a bold thing you do… risking much and… unfortunately in this case… losing.”

She nodded. He was right. She had gambled on Flame Emperors influence to free Byleth, and been wrong. Very wrong. In the process she’d lost the mask… lost her connection to her dark allies… lost valuable time… still almost lost her in the process…

But came out the other side gaining something unexpected. An understanding of the lines she would and wouldn’t cross. And an ally… that was so, so much more.

“But a public display like that…” Hubert shook his head slightly, expelling some deeper thought on the matter. “It is bordering the point where I feel I must ask for an understanding of yours and her relationship.”

Edelgard exhaled. She still hadn’t found the word for what she was. _How did one just ‘do’ that?_

“She… is very dear to me Hubert.” The words weren’t enough, but she was… scared. To define it further. To acknowledge…

“Permission to speak freely?” The mage asked.

“Granted.”

“Do you love her?” His eyes were fierce.

“I…” _Love…_ It was something too big… too concrete… too unfiltered to consider. And so she hadn’t considered it. But did she? Was it love… to miss someone by your side? To want to see their blue smile and golden eyes, and hands they’d redden for _you_ …

“I do not know if I have an answer for you.” She finally responded.

Hubert peered knowingly, his methodical eyes flickering to those of her best friend.

“The answer is not for me.” ****

**********************************************

A strange feeling consumed Byleth. Reminiscent of the times she’d pulled through the flow of space. As if the world around her was moving, but she was stuck in place. When she opened her eyes she saw… nothing.

It wasn’t as if there was darkness, so much as there was the clear absence of _anything_.

The air was cold… but she didn’t feel the tell tale signs of goosebumps pricking her skin. As if she were incapable of reacting to the chill, but ever aware it was there.

She still sat atop the throne, felt the stone support her, and as she glanced down she couldn’t decide if there would be a ground to catch her should she step off. She extended one foot cautiously and saw a small ripple as if she was stepping on an inch of water. _Curious._

She planted her weight on her first foot, and extended her other to join it, looking at the dark barely visible ripples that trickled away from her footprints. She let some sense carry her into the dark and away from the throne.

There was… a sound.

It paused her in step, watching the slight silvering on the edge of the waves. The sound… was like an echo calling out to her. Something so familiar. As if she was being called… by herself.

She moved toward it… though there were no markers. She felt the echo getting louder. And the echo told a story… one she could only catch parts of… but it told the tale of a girl. A mercenary… a daughter… a friend… a fighter… a mentor…

It told the story of her. She kept walking.

The echo told of times… an apple shared, a flower given, a scrape bandaged, a kiss on the cheek.

She heard the echo louder… louder… _louder_ yet until it was practically humming around her… filling her with these stories. A warm cup of tea shared with someone warmer… a dance… a promise… a lake… a ring. Now the echo told of others.

Others that came into the life of the girl… that painted her gray world in color…

She closed her eyes, feeling an elation… a sense of whimsy. A tear trickled down her cheek as the sound entered her… it felt like… wholeness. Felt complete. What she was meant to be. Her past… her present… her future… her true self… whispering tales of adventure, of deeds done, lives protected, moments stolen, hands held, meals shared.

And then… the sound was gone.

When she opened her eyes again….

“Sothis…” The girl was floating before her, glowing in gold, resting with a hand against her cheek. She woke with a start at the sound and locked eyes with Byleth.

_“Byleth… how did you get here?”_

Byleth opened her mouth to try to explain, but she wasn’t sure herself… _How did she get here?_

_Why couldn’t she remember?_

“Where is here?” Byleth asked.

_“Somewhere not meant for mortals…”_

“An echo… there was an echo.” She spoke, realizing that it had disappeared, and straining to find it again. “It was… it felt…“ She placed a hand over her chest where her heart supposedly laid.

“Right.”

Sothis put a finger to her chin.

_“Often the good from our past finds us first… but then…”_

A sudden chill tore down Byleth’s spine, like a bolt of lightning made of ice. It caused her to grind her teeth, and felt like the incarnate of dread… the creation of awful.

“What is that?” She asked, turning to the direction of this new… entity. She turned again. It felt like a hum right outside her vision… like it was coming from every direction.

_“Byleth… run.”_

She didn’t question, she turned and sprinted.

The light from Sothis was extinguished, and she felt the darkness swirl around here. The entity was closing in.

An arrow shot out from her side. She couldn’t see it, but she heard the whistle in the wind. The air splitting, and the distant snap of a bowstring. Another tore by closer, and then a third imbedded in her leg. She cried out and fell forward onto a knee trying to grab at it… but there was nothing to grab. Nothing there. She could still feel it as if it was speared right through her flesh. Could feel the blood pooling around it… but there was nothing beside the phantom pain…

She stumbled back to her feet and kept going, a slight limp in her leg. There was something in front of her… a body… a-

“Dad?” She stopped at his side and fell forward…

He was lying on his chest… curved dagger in his back…

She shakily reached a hand toward him… but he was never there.

A sharp knife slashed across her spine and impaled through her chest. The blade felt cursed and she cried out as it invaded.

It pierced a lung… drawing blood down her back in a steady stream… burning her insides.

She looked down where it surely was… but it wasn’t… just the afterimage… _what…_

Flames licked at her skin as she rose to her feet. They scorched her. She could feel her skin bubbling, her nerves fraying.

 _“Professor!”_ A voice cried out, and she turned sensing the panic…

_Was she… here?_

A dark spell scorched across her face, pain and irritation spreading down the arms and neck… it felt… personal. Like betrayal and failure and a bitter note she couldn’t swallow.

Then she felt fists everywhere. As if being beaten down on all sides. Knocked to the ground. Kicked. Berated. Yet there weren’t even shadows there for her to see… only her body whiplashing to unavailable assailants.

She yelled out and pushed back and when they were gone she pushed herself up with the ripples carrying on beneath her and caught sight of her hands… her fingers… they were changing.

Mutating… turning black and gnarled… stretching… into claws.

She panicked and shook her palm as if that action would wipe away the spread. It didn’t.

Her arm turned black… the skin tore… and carried up to her neck, her back, her muscles expanding inside her in a demonic way.

She grabbed at her head and screamed…. a pain… a loss. Another…. but she knew it to be a great one. She wrapped her arms around herself in a pale hug, trying to hold on… to not loose the fight. To stay… _Byleth._

A deep grow ruptured in the air, and a deep slash across her chest that caused her to cry out… so deep it sent pieces of her scattered in all directions. Skin and residue and blood and bone, hailing down in a rainstorm. Bouncing off the ripples below.

She reached shakily toward the point of impact… to find nothing, but the pain… It brought tears that weren’t hers… but a sorrow she shared with someone.

And then pictures. Images. Flashes of screams and laughs and blood and spit and lips and eyes and friends and foes. Everything around her… she was being torn apart.

“SOTHIS” She cried out, tears streaming down her cheeks.

And a light burst through the area surrounding. A gold tunnel, fighting off the darkness overwhelming her until there was a hand on her shoulder that felt like light itself.

 _“Byleth.”_ Her expression was more serious than she’d ever seen. _“She should never have brought you here. We need to get you out.”_

Byleth nodded in a stupor… The arrow that wasn’t was still aching, her wounds hindering her even while hidden. She rose on shaky legs that felt broken and shattered. Her skin felt lacerated across every inch. Needles in her hands and skull. Her eyes. She focused on her friends hand on her shoulder… but that was… fading.

She looked into the green-eyes and saw her hand flaking into bulbs of gold and light.

“Sothis… what…”

The goddess grit her teeth and looked deep into her eyes.

_“Byleth I’m going to get us out of here. But I need you to do exactly what I say, ok?”_

The dark echo rung out around them. It was closing in again. Sothis couldn’t keep it at bay.

 _“Byleth.”_

She tried to focus on the voice.

_“It’s going to be ok.”_

Her friend smiled at her, her whole self glowed gold.

_“Get to the throne.”_

“Where…” Is all she managed as her sense was blinded.

Sothis clasped her hands around one of Byleth’s, lifting it to point in the direction. Her touch was familiar. Like a self one held deep down… an inner child.

 _“There.”_ And she felt a beacon of light incase their hands. They blasted in the direction, separating the dark matter around them, tearing a path.

_“Now… go.”_

“Sothis…” Byleth felt something happening. Felt the hands on hers lessening… She looked to see her friend fading away into light… only a smile left.

_“Try listening to me for once… listen to your heart… and get to the throne. I’ll be with you.”_

Byleth nodded, feeling a thump in between her ribs that was heavy… that was alive. She didn’t question… she ran.

Keeping her feet under her took all her strength. Every step made her groan. She could feel her body fighting her… feel the past pulling at her, but she ran with the remnants of the light. She saw the shape of the throne closing in.

She could hear Sothis in her head.

_Run…_

_to your heart…_

_…to the throne…_

_I’ll be with you._

Her hand hit the stone. And she opened her eyes.

**********************************************

Planning a rebellion wasn’t that different than planning a war, but the scale and enemy had changed completely. Starting a war for all of Fodlan’s freedom had left her knowing her legacy would fall one of two ways, depending on if she won or lost. The visionary, or the villain.

But now her legacy threatened to be the fool, as the Emperor that had allowed a society of shadows to creep in and overthrow her power.

So she prepared. Because she was going to give _everything_ in her to not let that happen. She walked the grounds, meeting with the people. Assessing her fighters and teams. Their supply chain. Their resources. Their fail safe. Catching up on everything she had missed in her time away.

_Time she should have been here._

The thought played most unwelcome in her mind, but it was true. She had shirked her duties… trying to be Edelgard… _to be El…_ when she needed to be Emperor Von Hresvelg.

Now she was to be Marauder Von Hresvelg. And she would give it the same effort and focus. The stakes were far too great otherwise.

As her patrol carried her to another part of the facility she found an ally out that she hadn’t thought she'd see yet. Her back was to her, but she could see the sling tied around her neck, holding up her dead limb that was no longer the same color as the rest of her flesh. She sat on a ledge, overlooking the land below, resting her back against the beam behind. Her posture read contemplative more than tense. They’d managed to secure her some new clothes to make up for the stained and bloodied shreds she’d been left with. A white button up and a tan vest, along with dark slacks. It was strange seeing outside of her signature evergreen.

Edelgard walked up wordlessly and took a seat beside her. Shamir took a long breath and tilted her head back.

“Your majesty.” She greeted.

“We talked about this. Edelgard is fine.” She said with a light jab. “Now more than ever…”

They sat in silence a moment, both weighing their own and each others loss. A crown and an arm. A mantle and a skillset.

“Guess… we’re both gonna have to look for new career fields.” Shamir finally said, much to Edelgard’s amusement. She snorted softly at the unexpected remark.

“I suppose we might.“ She turned to her new ally with a small smile, that fell when she got a better look at the way she favored the arm. “I am truly-“

“Don’t start with the apologies. None of this is your fault.” She said in a completely serious tone. “You… did far more for me… than anyone ever has.” She finally turned to look at her fully. “Why is that?”

Edelgard tensed her fingers into a small fist, and thought on her answer. She knew Shamir would see through a half truth, though the full one didn’t make complete sense to her.

“You and I… share something I don’t yet know of. A feeling I get… the more we are around each other.” She furrowed her brow trying to find the right phrase for it, but sighed ultimately giving up on it. “Beyond that… allies are hard to come by at present. And in less than a week you’ve proven your skill, tact, and loyalty on multiple occasions.”

Shamir hmm’d something like an agreement… before adding.

“You feel that too huh?”

Edelgard’s eyes shot up.

“Yes… what is that?”

Shamir studied her.

“I think I know. I’ve only felt it around a few others… but it would imply a past far crueler than I’d imagine for the daughter of an Imperial Princess.”

Edelgard stared down at one of her gloved hands… would… _should_ she really let another in past her defenses?

...

She… wouldn’t let her in all the way. But maybe… maybe one more person knowing the first piece wouldn’t be so bad. She took a deep breath and reached for her glove, slowly peeling back the finger and resting her bare hand on the stone between them. She glared at the scars for a moment… the reminder of the allies she thought she’d use… but that ultimately used her. They had forced her hands as well as marring it.

Her eyes flicked up to see Shamir staring down at her hand pensively.

“We’re both survivors. That’s what it is, isn’t it?” Shamir said finally. And that clicked it. That’s exactly what it was.

“So you… were the only one left too?” Her voice sounded far feebler than she meant… but it was something not even Byleth shared with her. The feeling of being the only one of many to walk away.

Shamir broke her gaze from her hand and met Edelgard’s eyes, an understanding passing between them.

“It was when I lost him. I lost others too.” She paused, clearly reaching for a memory she didn’t often visit. “During the war… we were hired by the enemy. Dagda wasn’t doing well, so rather than fight and die on the front lines we were offered a position from a noble family as security. Protection. They were geographically compromised… and… they were kind.” Her voice softened the longer she spoke her story, pulling up something real and vulnerable.

“Anyway… you can fill in the blanks. It didn’t go well. I lost him, and them… and walked away from the fires as the only one. That’s why… I can’t go back to Dagda.”

Edelgard gulped down the feelings that rose in her chest, and replaced her glove.

“Thank you for telling me.”

“I won’t ask you your tale Princess.” Shamir said staring off again. “But I get it.”

“Thank you for that as well.” She said, clearing her throat as the scars resumed their place behind her stained silk. “And I won’t ask you to fight… there’s nothing-“

“Your Majesty, are you-“ Edelgard turned to see a face she hadn’t seen yet. But what surprised her wasn’t seeing her, but seeing the way she looked at her companion was.

“Shammy?”

“Ladi? What-?!” Shamir looked like she’d seen a ghost. A ghost that made her blush. But in fact she was looking at the form of one of the proudest generals Edelgard had ever seen follow through the academy. Ladislava. Who was currently blushing back.

“What’re you doing here…? I thought-”

 _“Shit,_ what happened to you?” Ladislava cut her off and came closer to inspect her sling and exposed fading bruises. She squinted in a protective manner as she tilted Shamir’s neck, initiating contact in a way that spoke of a shared past. Edelgard was putting together pieces to something very personal going on here.

“Eh, nothing too bad. I’ve had worse.” Shamir said, rubbing the back of her head.

Ladislava scoffed.

“Yeah, _that_ I know. Always so reckless.” Her voice was fond, and Shamir… smiled in a way that Edelgard knew meant something. She gently excused herself, sure neither of them would notice.

They clearly had some catching up to do.

**********************************************

Byleth snapped awake. Visions danced along the back of her eyelids. Battles she didn’t remember… Alois on the end of her blade. Catherine running her through with Thunderbrand. A crest that was not hers… flowing through her bloodstream. She felt dizzy, and lightheaded, and like there wasn’t enough air in the world to calm her burning lungs. She reached up to her head, to try and contain her ear splitting thoughts, and felt resistance on her wrists stop her. She blinked in confusion, finally taking in where she was…

She was still in the mausoleum. She was laying on a slab of marble or slate. And her arms were… _chained._

Panic spiked through her system. She could practically hear the rats crawling closer… she felt the saws in her leg. She fought to suppress those memories, and even as she did, others washed over her. It felt like hands pouring water, drowning her in visions, while others held her down. She couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t rise to the surface.

“Are you awake mother?” A voice. Byleth opened her eyes, trying to hone in.

Rhea… it was Rhea, who stood at the foot of the table, coming closer, looking pensive.

And then she remembered everything. Her being lead to the throne. Rhea watching with baited breath. The pain that seized her out of the darkness. The glow of Sothis…. _Sothis._

She felt immeasurably empty. A piece of her that was gone… and she couldn’t find. Locked away… out of sight. Whatever had happened, she knew it was at the cost of her friend.

“What… did you do to me?” She asked. Confusion, anger, and fear mixing inside her in equal parts. Her battered psyche now felt truly unhinged, as she felt shadows of doubt and illusion creep along her sightlines. Every time she blinked… it felt like disappearing. She trained onto the those jade green irises, looking for answers… for help… for anything…

“You… you aren’t my mother are you? The ceremony didn’t work…” Rhea spoke as if to herself, as if Byleth wasn’t even there.

“Ceremony…?”

A vision broke across her eyes. Sothis melting into a light of gold and engulfing her. Feeling the gold everywhere. Feeling it take hold, and then feeling the voice disappear.

“All this time… it seemed you were finally going to be the one…” She looked saddened and stared through her. She was getting tired of that…

“It wasn’t my throne…” Byleth said weakly. Remembering the events.

“But it _could_ be.” Rhea said in an intense whisper.

They locked eyes. And that was the moment Byleth knew… Knew she’d been wrong to ever trust her. Their goals had never aligned.

“Release me.” She said, feeling the chill of the metal writhe up her wrists, up her veins and to her shoulders.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that my child.” Rhea’s gaze softened, incredibly forlorn. There was pain there, but a gaze that would not be swayed. “There is still too much to learn from you… and I wish I could believe you would stay by my side, I really do my little starling… but I fear you have been stolen from me. Your heart swayed by that dreaded girl… Your loyalties lie elsewhere…”

_Edelgard._

“But… we will figure this out… together.” Rhea squeezed her hand with a strange kindly smile, then pulled away to leave.

Byleth tugged against her shackles. The metal on her wrists felt like someone breaking her bones. Felt like a saw in her leg. Smelled like damp, underground air, and heated knives pulling through her torso. Like lightning in her veins. _And she was leaving her down here._ Her breaths became shaky. She flexed her fingers into fists, and looked down - to see her gloves had been removed.

“Wait…” She said feebly, calling out. Her eyes traced the scars on her fingers obsessively. Rhea looked back over her shoulder.

“Can you… put my gloves back on…?” She felt so weak in the moment, her scars wailing behind the shackles… it was too much. Everything felt like too much. Static screaming in between her ears. She could barely stay conscious with the swarm of feeling and fears gripping at her neck. Choking her.

Rhea considered and walked closer. She pulled out a glove from her pocket and slid it over Byleth’s left hand. As soon as she did Byleth let her head fall back against the slab, and let the breath go she’d been holding.

“We’ll get through this together.” Rhea said, running a hand along her cheek, and brushing back the hair from her eyes. Then she stepped away… and was gone. Leaving Byleth with the infinite darkness and the echo of her heels in the supposedly holy place.

  
She turned her head to get a better look at the bindings. What she saw instead… turned her chest to sand sifting through a grate… until all sense and emotion seemed to strain through what had once been her. She caught sight of her hair… and it was different.

No longer her streaks of indigo. Instead… a familiar shade that didn’t belong to her. An invader of pigment in the color of the goddess… of the saints of Seiros… of Rhea… of Edelgard’s enemies.

Her hair was green. ****

**********************************************

“So that’s the situation.” Randolph said finally finishing his detailed breakdown. “We think we’ll be safe here a little longer, but we are severely short on man power. The majority of the population here is civilian based, and we don’t have a great amount of resources, weapons, or funds.”

Edelgard sighed and rested her chin in her palm.

“Makes sense, they are clever.” She tapped her finger to her cheek in thought, gauging their next move. “We will need to reach out for support. We have more allies in other places.”

“I suppose I know whom you are thinking of.” Hubert had been leaning against the back wall nearby, listening as well. She still felt an oddness between them. She’d dodged his question earlier, and their bond was strong enough to weather it. But she owed her friend answers. They’d have to find time.

“I suppose you do. I suspect you have no objections?” She offered with a slight smile, knowing he too had grown fond of their classmates.

“None, other than logistically how we propose to send a message and get them here.”

She looked at his crossed arms.

“Well Hubert, could you…”

“I’m sorry your Majesty, but I can not.”

She frowned.

“You don't even know-“

“You would ask me to warp across Fodlan to recruit them…” _To recruit her._ He doesn’t say it but she knows he implies it. “But I can not.”

“Hubert, they would be a great gain for our cause. There is no group more capable.”

“I am not leaving your side again, Your Majesty. Every time I do-!” He pulled himself back with a shake of the head and an inhale. “Every time I do… something truly awful happens.”

She felt his sadness, saw her friend as the child that was still holding onto something she had never placed blame on him for. She’d told him this often, but knew it fell on deaf ears… The loss of her siblings… the gain of a second crest… he would potentially always harbor guilt for it, though misplaced.

Still, she could understand not wanting to be apart. Admittedly, even for what could be a day, she wasn’t sure she liked the idea of his departure.

But they needed their allies. _She needed Byleth…_ Her mind betrayed her true desire, but the idea of those cobalt eyes gazing upon her now… burying her face into those indigo locks… of something _familiar_ in all this unknown chaos. It was too tempting to resist.

“I could go.” Jeritza appeared from around the corner, surprising them all.

“Emile…” He paused midstep and tweaked his neck. Some days he didn’t like the use of that name. She tried again. “Jeritza, are you sure that is wise?” She decidedly wasn’t, give the extent of time he’d spent under their thumb, and under his double identity.

“Yes. It is the only logical choice.” He spoke plainly in his deep drawl. “Randolph is in charge of day to day, Hubert refuses to leave your side, Shamir has lost an appendage, and you are leading a rebellion. Anyone the Professor is not familiar with will take longer to convince.” _Did everyone know about the kiss at the gate?_ “And I know the area.”

They exchanged a rather perplexed look. They could find no fault with his plan.

“If you’re sure, then we will send you at once.” Edelgard summarized. He nodded in response. “Hubert… could you get him there?”

The mage adjusted his gloves with a nod.

“You’d need to get yourself home. Can you do that?” Hubert asked him. The man nodded with his vacant stare carrying a slight bit more light.

“If you could send me with my mare, we’d stand a better chance.”

“Oh! Yes, we did recover his horse on the last excursion to the castle.” Randolph added proudly.

Hubert nodded.

“Very well. Prepare your things and your steed. And _don’t_ over commit. If you can not do the task don’t volunteer for it. We can’t afford to lose anyone right now.”

The man nodded and departed from the room. Edelgard quirked an eyebrow toward him.

“That could almost be considered charitable advice from you.”

He breathed out a signature Hubert smirk.

“I don’t need the fool getting himself killed. That would be a grave annoyance I do not have the time for.” He crossed his arms, but she could see the slight color in his face. He cared. “I do ask that before they return, you consider to what ends she will be involved in this.” He said with a more serious note.

“She is loyal to us Hubert, of that I have no doubt.” Edelgard spoke with confidence.

He hummed thoughtfully.

“Many are until the chips fall where they do. But we will see…” The oddity fell back between them. The silence of questions he wouldn’t ask, and answers she wished not to give. Of what had truly transpired in their time in captivity.

“It is alright you know.” He spoke softly, surprising her from her thoughts.

“What is that?”

“If you loved her.” His tone was one only shared between the two of them.

“It doesn’t matter, because my duty comes first.” She spoke the words she’d always hidden behind, always rallied herself with… only this was the first time she could remember not meaning them.

“Well, you know what they say. It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, or some such sentiment.”

Edelgard creased her brow.

“I think the people who say that haven’t lost enough.”

**********************************************

“Nnnnnrgk!” Byleth tensed her muscles for what must’ve been the hundreth time, and pulled all her might against the chains that bound her wrists. The metal creaked and the chains scraped against each other like coming rain. They dug further into her skin, tearing around the rough binds. The echo it made throughout the abandoned space only served to make her actions feel more hopeless.

“kkkaaaHHH” She relented as something in her shoulder tore, and fell back against the stone slab, panting. Coated in sweat. Her whole body was sore, as if she’d been bulldozed by a building. Whatever experiment had lead to her cosmetic change had taken everything from her… as if her form was no longer _hers…_ as if her control had been cleared out. She couldn’t get her bearings, couldn’t stop the phantom pains that ached through her entire being.

She was simply left in this tomb, surrounded by remains and ghosts of some life she couldn’t place and operating at only half strength… she knew her attempts was futile. She didn’t have the pull behind her push… but she had to keep trying… because the alternative… was every time she stopped moving… the voices were there again.

_professorhelp…motherashendemonbylethprofessor…willyouchoosemeagain…fathersavecouldntsave... idontwanttoloseyouCANTtrustyouwherewereyouallthistimeImissedyoucomebacktomecantpromisethat…_

“KKKKAHHH.” She pulled again, with everything in her body, anything to make the sound in between her ears STOP… anything to get out of these chains.

The metal was ice cold… the way it squeaked against itself every time she moved was infuriating, only adding to the cascade she was feeling. She grit her teeth as she felt her arms begin to shake, unable to press any more air out of her lungs, any more effort behind her actions.

“FUCK!” She yelled collapsing, breathing heavy, hearing her expletive reverberate off the walls around the air, melding with her hurried breaths.

Nothing could be done… she was caught… a fallen star… beneath the sky.

The voices took her sense again… and she let them carry her off to the dark. But it wasn’t dark…

Images crashed over her… pictures of her students.. of herself... battlefields... bodies. Mixed and swirled in ways she couldnt understand.

Ways that hurt.

The images weren’t connected… and she’d be ripped from one scene of stringing a bow with students, to another with the teeth of a beast imbedded in her flesh to a moment at a lake… with Edelgard.

_Edelgard…_

_…_

_…_

_…_

She focused on her… felt her essence inside the swirl of energies and images. She was a constant. She was maybe the only constant…

And she was there in almost every image… every scene that played out in its incoherent order… that same thread tied through…

And she held to it like a lifeline.

Whatever these places were… these alternate timelines Sothis had told her of… her feelings for her seemed to be the only stability.

So she let it be the bind as her mind struggled to maintain the pressure and storm of lances tearing her flesh, poisons seeping in her mind, allies becoming enemies, those lilac eyes…

They always came to find her…

_My teacher…_

_The Rogue…_

_By…_

_Professor…_

Professor…

Professor!

“Professor!”

Byleth’s eyes shot open.

There were hands on her shoulders… real ones. She looked up to see-

“Petra…” Her voice was cracked and weak. She barely could tell if this was yet another image or reality. But her pained and worried expression felt clearer than any of the double images she’d been being dance along her eyelids.

“What has been done to you?” Her student asked with concern and awe.

“Don’t know… bad.” Is all Byleth managed. She looked to her side and saw some familiar but unexpected faces. Lysithea and Claude came around the slab, matching Petra’s expressions.

“Teach…” Is all the words the usually talkative Claude can find.

Lysithea doesn’t speak, instead she comes around and takes Byleth’s hand in hers. She sees her staring at the shackles with incredible disdain. There are tears shining on her wide eyes, and Byleth suddenly remembers how young she is. How young all of them are… and already accustomed to the harshness of the world.

“You’re not staying in these.” Lysithea whispered. Byleth _felt_ the determination in her words. A pain the two of them shared and had attempted to hide… now dragged out and presented before them.

Lysithea released Byleth’s hand only to place them both on the shackles with an almost frightful expression. As if the metal was hurting her as much as Byleth. Maybe it was.

She saw the glow of purple and her grit expression and the shackles disintegrated in her hand before a clatter rolled out of the remaining piece hitting the floor.

Byleth sprung up almost immediately, awkwardly with so much of her still restrained, and Claude and Petra stepped forward to support her, a hand on her shoulder, and Petra slinging one around her waist to keep her steady. She breathed heavy and sharp, willing her lungs to calm down.

“We got ya Teach.” Claude spoke, calm and cool. But honest.

Lysithea had moved down to her feet and place a hand on both of the cuffs, recreating the enchantment. When she freed her last cuff there were angry tears on her cheeks.

“How could she do this?” She whispered.

Instead of answering Byleth reached forward and embraced the young mage.

“It will never be you.” There was an audible gasp from the silver haired teen, who held her back all the tighter.

“I will never let her do this to you… I promise.” She hadn’t made many promises outside of her devotions to Edelgard, but this was one she meant to keep. For as long as she was breathing.

She pulled back slightly and saw the girl wipe her tears on her sleeve, and for a second, she saw the exposed line of her wrist… with the deep divots like hers. Caused by _years_ of chaffing from binds that didn’t belong on any of her students.

“Come on… we’re not staying here.” Claude spoke up. She could tell the master tactician had a plan from his tone, and was thankful he did. Her energy was spent, her mind still compromised, but her students had come through for her... Again.

They lead her by the arm to her feet. The pain from earlier was there, but waning. Mostly she was tired. So tired. Lysithea refused to released her hand as they ascended up the stairs, Petra running ahead to scout and Claude walking behind, incase she should need the support.

As they ascended out of the dark and into the cathedral, she felt an incredible relief that sprung silent tears. Returning to shackles underground had been a trial she never wished to repeat.

“I’ll get our ride ready. The rest should be waiting for us by now.” Claude said with a wink and a genuinely warm smile, perhaps the first she could recall from him, and ran off toward the door to follow Petra to where she presumed their Wyverns were stationed. Her and Lysithea moved a bit slower along the wall and she paused as she passed a mirror, curious to see the extent of her change. Willing it to be a mistake of the low light. But as she passed her reflection… she didn’t recognize the foreigner looking back at her.

Her hair was a splendid spearmint, no trace of the midnight teal that always been hers. But that wasn’t the detail that got to her… it was her eyes.

Her eyes were a shade of jade she’d never seen… and it made her truly feel the spiral. That lack of self… The Ashen’s eyes had never looked like that… nor had the daughter of the Blade-Breaker, nor the Professor of the Black Eagles… they felt like someone else looking back at her... and she despised it. She lifted her fist on instinct and smashed the mirror, shattering it into a web of shards.

_El… I’m so sorry…_

_I wanted to trust her…_

_And it’s cost me… something…_

_…_

_But I won’t let it cost me you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW. Guys thanks for waiting, hope you liked it! Hope this excited you as much as me! Hope you were pumped to see an update and not just go “seriously, this chicks back now??” but im so so happy to be back. To hit that post button. To finish what we started. To get us closer to these funky angsty lesbians being funky.  
> Definitely sat on this chapter for far too long to the point I was over editing, and second guessing, and there’s reasons why, but I really really hope you enjoyed where we’re going!  
> Let's talk, I missed you guys! Who were you more excited to see Edelgard interact with? What did you think of Rheas plan? Or Byleth’s hair change? What do you think comes next? 😁 (hint, its gonna be crazy)
> 
> Now! Last thing, there’s a reason why this has been so delayed and I gotta plug it. I’ve joined with some truly amazing writers and even more amazing people that I am so proud to collaborate with and we are making this crazy large project, coming soon. Follow us on twitter if you want, get excited for that, but that has been really taking most of my time, and instead of trying to divide my attention, I'm gonna be focusing on that for awhile.  
> @Fodlan_Olympics
> 
> So I won’t say this is going on hiatus, cause its not, but I'm def going to take a little time to build the next four chaps and the rest of the story, AND the stories after. And Im going to be primarily focusing on the team project for the next month or so.
> 
> I’ve also been jiving with my new writer friends and making a bunch of scenes and one shots with our chaotic energy, so you may start seeing some of those released. Just so you know I’m still out here 😘
> 
> Anyway long note over! Missed you all, hope you’re well, talk to you soon. *hugs*


	9. Do We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth has to leave.  
> Edelgard has to fight.  
> They have to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiiiiii..... so it’s been awhile 😂
> 
> But I’m here now, so let’s give you all this chap and hope it reads well and we’ll talk later.  
> Welcome backkkkk.

Edelgard found herself running toward the entry gate with Hubert keeping stride. Randolph and a small troop of knights only a few steps behind in the wake of the alert. When she arrived there was a scout team waiting for her, looking half out of breath themselves.

“Your majesty…” One of them started, clutching their side. “We have a report.”

“Yes, so I’ve heard. What is it?”

“A beast… a wandering beast… coming this way.” They panted. The small scout party of four all looked fearful at the admission. One holding themself up on their knees, another leaning an arm against the wall while trying to slow their breathing.

“A crest beast? Out here?” Hubert asked, sounding skeptical.

“Yes, only the one.” The scout reported.

“Strange that it’d be alone.” Edelgard thought, furrowing her brow. The wild ones typically wandered in groups, and the ones they… _created_ wouldn’t typically be without guards or escorts.

“It was heading this way.” Spoke another of the scouts, the one leaning against the wall. “We tracked it for half a day and it wasn't moving quick… but it was certainly moving toward something.”

“I see…” Edelgard spoke, trying to connect the meaning. Hubert, always on the same page, turned to her so only she could hear.

“Strange… that it seems to know which way to go, but they didn’t send it closer. Or with a larger army.”

“Very.” She agreed. “We’ll have to stay on guard… but I’m afraid we can’t just leave it out there.”

They bolted to the weapons locker next, and outfitted with what they could. Edelgard used the key Randolph had given her to pull out the specially crafted axe that had been made for her. Aymr.

Its blade was massive, but years of training and the power of her two crest made wielding it second nature to her. She hadn’t planned to wield it like this. It was meant to herald a new Emperor and help her wage a war on the unjust, but now it belonged to an usurped child with the hopes of the new world dangling behind her. She took a deep breath as she gripped the handle, and felt a gloved palm on her shoulder.

“Are you sure this is wise?” Hubert asked.

She nodded.

“We don’t want to fight them here, there are too many civilians.”

“You are correct of course your majesty, but this is one of the most heavily fortified compounds in the Empire. Perhaps it is safer than attacking out in the open. Or might I suggest a strategic retreat?"

“Ordinarily I would agree with you… however…” The image of the children listening to the book being read… the image of her cape over their shoulders. “If they knew where we were… wouldn’t they just warp the enemies here? If we intercept them we may be able to hideout here a little longer. Moving this many people will be difficult. Perhaps we can buy time until our sent for allies can return.”

He breathed out a slight response, and she knew the levels of Hubert’s sighs by this point to know it was as close to a resounding agreement as she could expect.

“We’ll take a small unit with, but not too many in case it’s a diversion. Randolph, ready the troops we leave behind. Hopefully it won’t come to that… but you can never be too certain.”

They gathered what they had and made for the gate. She felt him stirring next to her and knew he had been putting off asking an important question.

“Hubert, speak freely.” She said, knowing they needed to go into a battle without whatever this was hanging over them.

“Was there anything I could’ve done back then…” He said immediately. “To convince you not to go?”

He meant when she went after Byleth. Went to that prison. Almost didn’t come out.

“No.” Her response was immediate. Without knowing what it would cost, she would’ve followed after Byleth every time.

“Then I hope she comes through for us…” _For you_. The sentiment went unsaid but was there all the same.

The scouts met them before they could depart. 

“There’s something else sire… it’s your father.” One of the scouts looked uncomfortably at the floor, focused but disturbed.

“What of him?” Hubert asked.

“No sire… the beast. It… it bears the sigil of house Vestra… we believe… that it’s your father.”

Hubert hummed a breath. One that was reproachful yet accepting.

“He will be dealt with.”

As the scouts departed she made sure to catch the corner of his eye.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” She asked. They’d talked about his possibility before, but now staring down patricide felt more daunting.

“It is kind of you to fret Your Majesty, but worry not for me. It will be a fitting final tribute.” His far off gaze turned disapproving. “He shall perish how he lived. As a monster.”

**********************************************

Byleth looked back at the cathedral as it became smaller and smaller before floating out of sight. She felt like she couldn’t get far enough away. Her skin was still crawling, reliving the events of what had happened beneath those elegant spires.

What she had taken as a symbol of peace and prosperity she now saw as a prison… and she was fucking done with prisons.

The memories and pains edged at her conscious, begging to take control and leave her further battered and grasping. She focused instead on the head of dark magenta hair before her, the wind in her face, and the feeling of the scales under her hands of Sigurd the Wyvern. Every small sensation she could pick onto kept her from falling away completely.

Petra piloted their wyvern down to a nearby clearing, where once more she saw familiar faces. And as she dismounted onto shaky feet they were at her side. Concern abundantly evident.

“Professor?” Dorothea was the first voice she heard, her beautiful brow furrowed and placing a gentle hand at her back. She stumbled to her knees almost instantly as she tried to catch herself. Dorothea and Ferdinand crouched immediately, both taking an arm to hold her from crumbling all together.

“Hey hey, we’ve got you.” Dorothea assured.

“What has happened?” Ferdinand asked, turning to Petra.

“Rhea did something to her.” Lysithea called out as the second wyvern landed beside them. “She had her down there against her will… Claude’s hunch was right.”

“And I’ve never hated being this right.” Claude added somberly, hoping off his steed and coming around to crouch in front of Byleth. “Not sure the extent of what’s been done… but Rhea had her chained to a table.”

There were gasps from the gathered Eagles. Dorothea put a hand on her trembling forearm. Her mind was still swimming. Everything felt like it was happening to someone else and she was merely watching. She felt blank.

One moment she blinked and saw a white-scaled dragon. Then she was back. Then she’d blink again and see a battlefield. Bodies. Wars. Blood. _So much blood…_

She stared deeply into the evergreens in the distance as if they would hold the answers… barely hearing the voices around her… making plans asking for her input.

It was easier... so easy to just collapse... to withdraw and vanish from herself.

She might have too, if it weren’t for Bernadetta silently pushing through the crowd to wrap her in a tight embrace, her head buried in Byleth’s chest.

“You’re st-still in there professor.” She said softly. “I k-know… it seems e-easier… to leave.”

Her words felt like a knife in Byleth’s neck. A necessary knife. Cutting through the haze.

She gulped down the feeling that followed. It tasted like sour milk.

“But you can’t… you can’t right now…” There were tears building at the corners of her eyes. “There’s too much to do.”

Byleth pulled her arms free to wrap them around her. She was right.

The pain was still there in the back of her mind, but… Byleth was at the front. It took a lot of effort to be there… to be present. But she could do it for them.

She looked between her students. Caspar, Linhardt, Dorothea, Petra, Ferdinand, Bernadetta, Claude and Lysithea all present.

She could do this. She could hold it together for now.

And break apart later… 

When they were safe.

“So… what do we do now?” Caspar asked nervously.

“We leave.” Byleth said. Sure of that, if nothing else.

“Yeah, she can’t stay here.” Claude said, arms crossed as she saw his wheels turning. “None of you can… if you stay you’ll be the first under fire when her disappearance is discovered.”

“You say that like you’re not coming.” Linhardt queried.

“I can’t. I have to take care of my Deer.” 

"Claude...” Lysithea said sternly, concern and worry painting a serious look in her eye.

“Lys, it’s gonna be ok. I won’t be a suspect.” He tried to reassure.

“You and your dumb big brain don’t know that!” She protested, balling her arms at her side.

“Hey, easy on my big brain. It’s doing its best.” He said, mockingly wounded, before pulling her into a side hug. “And you _know_ I can’t go. It’d be like walking away from the Alliance.”

He had a point… and there was something final in the air. A true end to her time at the Monastery.

Byleth couldn’t go back after this. Anyone who came with her couldn’t either.

“I don’t like it.” Lysithea pouted, hanging her head in defeat.

“I don’t either. But think of it like having a man on the inside.” He said, softening the blow. “I’ll take care of things here.”

“In that case, I also volunteer to stay.” Linhardt said thoughtfully, going to stand by his side.

“Lin…?” Caspar looked like he’d been blindsided by a horse carriage.

“They’re keeping secrets. Secrets I think would benefit us.” The healer said matter-of-fact.

“Seriously, Lin, you- you, you’re-” Caspar stammered with a frown on his face. “You’re going to get yourself killed for some secrets?!”

“Ideally no. I’d still like to live.” He countered.

“There aren’t any secrets worth dying for!” Caspar yelled.

“Maybe there are. We can’t say for certain.” Linhardt curled a finger to his chin in thought. “But there’s much to learn… and if I leave it to this one he’ll muck it up.”

Honestly, Byleth hated the idea of leaving any of her flock behind. It hurt like losing a finger. (A pain she was plenty familiar with)

She looked to Claude, a determined question in her eye that he seemed to understand.

“I’ll take care of him.” He nodded. “He’ll stay hidden.”

The ex-professor stepped forward and grasped Linhardt’s shoulder. 

“This is not goodbye.” She said with such purpose that even the traditionally impassive scholar looked moved.

“Likewise Professor... and if you could... keep Caspar safe from the spiders?” He turned to his childhood friend, who looked sadder than she could ever remember from the typically boisterous boy.

“You’re such an ass...” Caspar mumbled, hugging Linhardt tight enough that Byleth thought she heard ribs popping. “You better find something good.” He said, brushing his sleeve to the corners of his eyes.

“And you’d better stop picking fights with taller fighters without my strategic mind there to aid.”

“Not a chance.” He laughed back. Lin smiled, shaking his head.

“Hopeless.”

“W-where to?” Bernadetta asked, holding her hands to her chest.

“I know where I need to be.” Byleth said immediately. No hesitation to her train of thought. There was only one light on the horizon… one thing that in the dark abyss was clear. And she was waiting in Enbarr.

“You’re going to Edie.” Dorothea said knowingly.

“I am.” Byleth nodded. The idea of seeing her… _like this_ … was terrifying. But there was nowhere else she’d go. Nowhere else she’d want to be. She couldn’t begin to fathom her reaction… but she’d run toward her… not away. And deal with whatever outcome it produced.

_No point in tormenting herself with the what-if’s._

Dorothea nodded.

“I guess a gal like me could make it in a place like that.” She said with a slightly playful tone.

Petra nodded as well.

“I also wish to be helping you and Edelgard. I will be going to Enbarr.”

Ferdinand brushed his bangs back.

“A noble such as myself belongs in the capital with our new, young Emperor.”

Caspar simply gave her a nod, still looking rather solemn. She nodded back.

Bernadetta looked tightly at the ground, wringing her hands in the front of her shirt.

“As long… _asIdon’thavetogohome_ …” She murmured. Dorothea and Petra each reached out, taking one of her hands and gently peeling back her fingers that were engrained in the fabric.

“You don’t have to go anywhere you don’t want. _Ever._ ” Dorothea insisted.

Bernie held onto them as tightly as she had the front of her uniform and took a deep breath before nodding.

Byleth’s vision suddenly flashed. She saw… _a past_ , and turned away, her legs shaking and clutched at her forehead as the memory played out like an arrow to the head. Commanding her attention.

She saw Bernadetta with a bruised and broken nose, dark rings around her eyes… and so… full of fear. She hated the memory the instant she saw it, and felt a wave of remorse like a halberd splitting her in two. It felt like failure… it felt like a past that could be relived. She silently swore to herself it wouldn’t as the afterimage slowly melted away.

Lysithea noticed her struggle and took her arm gently, coming to her side with her perceptive and pondering eyes.

“I’m fine.” Byleth croaked, banishing the impact of the image. Not now… _not now. Later. Break later._

Lysithea looked unconvinced, but relented as she straightened back to her feet.

“I’m coming with, if that wasn’t clear.”

Her conviction was clear, and honestly… it was a relief to have someone close who could tell when she was slipping. Especially as often as it was happening.

She looked back once at the shape of the buildings in the light night mist.

The place that had once felt like home only felt like a buzzing in her ears. And the people that made it home… they were around her… or at the end of a trip to Enbarr.

_Now to get there…_

As she was pondering their best route, over the hill came racing a lone dark rider on a black mare. And… _shit_ … was her only thought.

“Professor…” The figure said as it came to a stop before her.

“Jeritza.”

**********************************************

The ride was not far to where the beast was, nor was it difficult to track the creature. It left a rather obvious trail in its wake.

They managed to take pace alongside it, hiding in the foliage without drawing its attention, and what Edelgard noticed first was how... sloppy it seemed. Its movements were disoriented, its sounds more sad than intimidating.

It was similar to the creatures of ripcord veins with long tails and claws she and Byleth had faced under Solon’s thumb, but its head appeared more like cracked ivory carved in a semblance of Count Vestra, the jaw still the same material of gray with teeth poking uncomfortably in every direction.

They took up position, dismounting from their steeds and arming their weapons.

“Ready?” She asked, catching Hubert staring at the beast with dark eyes.

“My father’s been dead to me since he failed the Hresvelg family… this will change nothing.”

She understood, pressing the issue no further.

They signaled their allies to spread out. Circling the enemy.

Waiting for their window... clutching Aymr closer, listening to the sounds of the beats breathing and then gripping a hand in the dirt from her knelt position...

Hold...

Hold...

Hold...

_Now._

She gave the signal and they sprung. Her foot soldiers landed consecutive attacks on a single side, reeling the beast back with a scream that could tear through leather.

Hubert followed it up with a massive miasma that nearly cracked the plaster head in two, knocking it back further so it was unable to retaliate.

Edelgard charged in next, launching herself and slashing a massive hit across its under belly.

They moved in a pattern like this, targeting quickly, miasma blast, frontal assault.

Its counters were clumsy at best. Weak. Easily parried or sidestepped. It was almost... _too_ easy. Any move it did land was minor at best, only leaving scrapes or bruises as opposed to the significant damage they were causing in turn.

Its tail lashed out in a desperate move and managed to knock a few of her troops off balance, sprawling them against trees and skidding their steel armor across the dirt. But she was quick to draw a savage slice, feeling the hum of her second crest in her arms as she swung Aymr, splitting scale and skin deep. Penetrating bones and cracking through the armor plates.

The last breath it cried out was choked and warbled, and when it fell the earth shook beneath its awkward frame. Not to rise again.

She caught her breath, leaning against the handle of her axe, Aymr’s massive head planted in the soil. One of the orchestrators of her family's usurpation and siblings torments… was now in a heap on his side.

This was his punishment… she realized. For failing them. This is what they did with their allies that had lost their use. It made her sick, and she found herself physically shaking with anger at the idea they’d throw people away like this.

She couldn’t believe she’d ever worked with people like that.

Hubert appeared at her side as always, and she felt both of them wondering how this… played into their larger picture.

 _Why send him out here?_

To send a message? To sacrifice a pawn? They could’ve saved him for something else. Something of a larger scale, not just sending him to his death. She saw all the questions mirrored on Hubert’s face. If they were trying to kill them they’d have sent more. If they knew where the hideout was why not send him closer? Why here? Why so obvious? It’d be pointless, unless…

Unless… _it was to fish them out._

She heard a sound she could only explain as a gurgling from deep inside its throat Her eyes darted back to the fallen form, thinking the beast might still be alive, but… its eyes were already glassed over and half lidded. The sound coming from it wasn’t… conscious… and… when she looked at it… it appeared as if something was… _moving._

The grey rippled skin quivered as something pressed beneath it, spreading in all different directions. Trying to break out… to break free… First subtle but gaining momentum. Forcing itself.

“Hubert…” She said, an unsettling feeling consuming her. “What is that?”

“Something terrible I’m sure…” He said, holding out an arm toward her as they both slowly moved away from the mass.

The body thrashed now, the jaw spilling open as it jerked uncontrollably, and out of it came pouring… an ooze of grey… ashes?

Edelgard, furrowed her brow. Confused, concerned or completely disgusted… she wasn’t sure.

The ooze took shape as it spilled forth… arms… and limbs forming and pulling their way out.

Bile rose in her throat as she watched the horrid things reconstructing, and taking shape as they surged forward into something… almost human at first glance but were clearly anything but.

As they turned solid, she saw their hair… their armor… their appearance and all the details looked eerily like…

“ _Byleth?_ ”

Hubert clenched his teeth and took his stance.

“It’s a trap!”

**********************************************

The Death Knight was before her. Once the vassal of the Flame Emperor, now his masks and armor were shed for the man that was beneath. The equally unstable man.

“Nobody make a move.” She said through grit teeth to the students beside her.

When she met his eyes another wave of visions hit her. Fragments and blasts. Him… as Death Knight capturing Flayn… Sharing a sandwich with him on a bloodied battlefield… Running him through with a sword... a smirk of contentment as his eyes went blank...

She hissed, and grabbed her head as the memories forced their way through her mind. Dorothea and Lysithea were quick to support her, Petra and Ferdinand drawing weapons and standing to her side. Determined looks set Jeritza’s way.

His jaw twitched at the sight.

“Please... I do not come to fight.” He said with great effort.

Byleth broke from her reprieve and stepped forward, putting a hand on both of their weapons to halt them. This wasn’t a fight worth having, and he was easily triggered.

The phantom of a memory hung on the edge of her vision… an important one…

Byleth took another step toward him, testing his reaction. He gripped his scythe.

_There can only be one of us._

A declaration he’d made to her.

_If there is someone stronger than me and I can not kill them... my only wish is to be ended on their blade._

She saw it then… tears. Someone crying for him... who was it?

He opened his eyes as she took another step forward, and she saw the adrenaline coursing in his dilated pupils. Color gone. Jeritza stifled to his alter ego.

_Who was crying?_

“Mercedes...” Byleth said. Suddenly seeing through the fogged memory. 

_She had been crying…_ for what she lost _... what she lost..._ was a brother.

He lifted the scythe in a flash and swung at her.

She dove back on reflex.

Her students sprung, weapons drawn and battle cries at the ready.

“NO.” She commanded them, turning back with driven eyes. She dodged again, thanking her years of training that moved her without thought away from the blades end.

“There is a candle!” Byleth said, finding words. The attack paused immediately. Color returned to his cheeks.

“There is a candle…” She said again, quieter. She saw the image of Mercedes fallen to her knees and crying over his body.

 _It was a poem my younger brother and I made together._ _The words soothed him._

“Burning bright… the wax drips to the floor…” 

“A gust of wind will snuff it out, til it’s dark once more.” Jeritza repeated, and the color found his eyes again. He lowered his weapon completely until the tip laid in the sand below. He sighed and took a breath, attempting to compose himself.

“Forgive me. I… can not always do as I wish.”

Byleth nodded, understanding better than ever as pieces that didn’t feel like her were robbing her of her present moment by moment.

She looked back and saw her students still with weapons drawn and untrusting eyes and motioned for them to sheath them.

“Professor… I bear a message… For all of you.” He looked between them briefly before turning his gaze to Byleth.

“It’s Edelgard.”

Byleth’s blood chilled like a fjord.

“She needs you Professor.”

Byleth took off sprinting, barley registering the branches pulling at her or the sound of footsteps being her. She saw the nearby village in the distance and was praying there’d be horses there. Mules maybe. Anything that could get her across the content with haste. Edelgard needed her, and she was cursing herself every minute she wasn’t there. She’d beg, borrow or steal to get to her.

“Professor, wait, what’s the plan?!” Ferdinand yelled, trying to keep pace.

Byleth couldn’t answer. She felt like she was being choked.

“Teach! Wait up” Caspar called out.

“I don’t know! I just need… SOMETHING.” Byleth blurted.

There was a lone merchant cart on the outskirts of the town at the late hour, and the tender poked her head out at the sound of the incoming footsteps.

“Hey there! What are you in the market for?” The sweet voice asked, and Byleth skid to a halt. She turned to the red hair and red eyes of the merchant.

A merchant who had been so much more to her…

She stared for a moment as the images came, no longer crippling her but overriding her senses all the same.

Shards more than stories.

“Pirating’s not for you.” Byleth said, awed. The words sticking to her from some reincarnation she hadn’t recalled. The merchant’s formal smile changed as she blinked in her direction, then quirked a curious look.

“That’s the first time you’ve remembered…”

“Anna.” Byleth walked up to her and embraced the merchant, finding her reciprocating with equal force.

“The Professor.” She said back with a fond tone in her voice.

“Not really much of a professor anymore.” Byleth mumbled.

“Nonsense, you’re always the Professor. Regardless of the title the monastery gives you, it’s who you are silly.” She pulled back and took hold of both of Byleth’s shoulders. “What brings our path’s back together this time old friend?”

“Edelgard…”

“Not surprising.” She giggled.

“She needs- _help._ ”

“She needs you.” Anna corrected gently. “Where is she?”

“Far.” Byleth said, unsure the actual distance.

“Hmm…” Anna pondered. She turned and leaned into her merchant’s cart, almost disappearing into it, before leaning back out with a small spherical bottle in her hand.

“My magic doesn’t operate on the same principles of this world… nor does the magic in this vile. But, it should work for this. The spell in here takes you where you need to go. It’s _powerful_ Byleth. You understand?” She said cautiously as she handed it to her.

Byleth nodded, taking the vile and stared at what appeared to be a swirling light inside a dark purple sand. It was warm.

“You mean it could take me other places?” Byleth said.

“That’s one way of putting it. So you need to know where you’re meant to be.” Anna warned again. “But you’ve always seemed to… it just takes you longer to get there some lives than others.”

It was getting a little old how many people had that reaction to her and Edelgard’s relationship, but she’d worry about that later.

“Something’s different this time. Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” Anna asked, with sincerity. “My offer still stands.” She smiled.

Offer? Offer… offer… And Byleth remembered, the conversation returning from their first life. Another pang in her head. Like pins and needles prodding, clamping down on her membrane.

“I had something to fight for then… I still do.” She said with certainty.

“Should have expected nothing less.” She shook her head good-naturedly.

“You could come too…” Byleth said.

“I could… but I have to stick to my rules.”

“The golden rule.” Byleth mumbled. Not remembering the exact rule itself, only the implications that kept someone like Anna safe all this time.

“The golden rule.” Anna nodded. “But… I wish us both luck Professor.”

“As do I… _Professor_.” Byleth weakly smirked. That got a laugh out of the red-head.

“That was one time. And honestly, I should’ve known better.” She shook her head.

“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” Caspar whispered to Lysithea.

“How would I? I'm new here.” She whispered back.

Byleth turned back to her students with their confused expressions, feeling slightly lighter with the reaffirmation of her friend that had crossed lives with her.

“This will take us to Edelgard. And if you still wish to come-“

“Save it Professor, we’re coming.” Dorothea said swiftly for the group, all of them moving closer with a nod to her.

“Yeah! Just uncork that bottle already, and… drink it?” Caspar said curiously.

“I wouldn’t recommend that.” Anna added quickly. “Just feel where you need to be in your heart, and smash the vile at your feet.”

In my heart… she thought bitterly for a moment. Hoping the spell would work for someone that didn’t have one. Then she wound up above her head and smashed it down.

A mist of purple and black splattered out from where it impacted, shrouding them all in dark before fading away to a white powder mist. She saw them instinctually cover their eyes from the smokey silhouettes coming toward them, the white mist blew bright, so bright she had to close her eyes, and when the blinding light faded they were somewhere else… the mist still filtering around her.

She stood in the center of a grass field, her students and Jeritza around her with similar perplexed looks. 

“D-Did it work?” Bernadetta asked.

Before she could respond she heard it… a hissing sound… a familiar one that spiked her survival instincts to 11.

She ran in the direction of it, the expressions on her students faces hardening and matching hers as they took up pace alongside her. They ended up at the cusp of a hill and looked down to see...

“There’s more.” She said, feeling beyond numb as she saw the Ashen Army beneath her. Attacking soldiers wearing red and silver armor, fighting their best but sorely outnumbered. Her hand shook and it was easier… easier to grip the end of the accursed sword and run than to think about the implications.

So she did.

She sprinted down the hillside, feeling her shaky muscles and psyche honing into a familiar form. Fighting. Killing. Surviving.

It almost felt like losing herself, but somehow finding as well.

The weapon was almost too eager to comply, feeling a warmth in her hand that craved contact.

She didn’t see more than colors as she moved across the battlefield, weaving, sliding, striking. Hearing more than seeing as the grey ashes combusted around her on the end of her supposedly sacred weapon.

She thought it was a bit of a contradictory term.

Perhaps she was too.

She felt one blade graze the side of her neck and turned seething toward the attacker, grabbing their wrist and prying it up before slamming her blade through them, pulling the hilt back to smash in the head of another launcher. She was coated in the ashes. She felt them falling around her. Felt them sticking to the fresh blood. She could barely focus.

Barely find herself.

She was a killer. _A goddess._ A fighter. _A teacher._ A beast in sheep’s clothing. A weapon… that others had always brandished.

The colors were gone and everything was grey.

Grey ash. Grey sky. Grey weapons with grey stains.

She heard rats. She felt needles. She smelled death. She was angry and scared and spiraling and drowning and worried and broken. Everything was too much. Every sensation overwhelmed.

And then she heard her.

“Byleth...?”

The colors returned.

Slowly the shapes turned red and white and... lilac... and then then she saw _her._

But…

How she was looking at her... broke what remained of her non-existent heart.

She looked stunned... confused... a myriad of conflicting things... but above all...

Afraid...

So afraid...

Then everything went black.

**********************************************

These _things_ that seemed plucked straight from her nightmares, and Edelgard kept telling herself… this isn’t Byleth. You’ll never have to fight Byleth like this… _she promised…_

She dodged another one that lunged at her and saw the glint of madness in its eyes, which was something Byleth had never carried. These things weren’t just empty, they were… ruthless.

She swung Aymr out in a wide arc, spattering a mass of them in a wave of ashes and grey limbs. Out of the corner of her eye she watched another group swarm a soldier, his screams cut short by their daggers. She recognized the markings on the handles as matching the one Kronya once weld. These things were _their_ doing.

That idea made her livid. What the hell had they done?

She’d think on it later. Right now she needed to survive. So she could enact vengeance on them later. Hubert retreated back in a side to side pattern, drawing their attention while keeping enough distance to fire off spells. Clever.

She parried another blow from a front attack, before one of the daggers caught the back of her calf. She cried out falling to her knee and swinging the axe wildly behind her, separating the head from the imposter… and though she knew it wasn’t Byleth… it was still an unsettling sight.

Edelgard grit her teeth to rise and continue as she felt the blood curdling and pooling. A leader could not be fallen so easily.

She’d survived worse. She could survive this too.

A group of the ash soldiers turned to her, tilting their heads and letting out a sinister hiss that she hated. She felt it vibrate down her spine, as they reeled back on their heels-

But the attack never came. Thwarted by an incoming blast of lightning, several arrows whizzing past, and the familiar battle cry from a blue-haired boy bearing gauntlets.

She smiled despite the chaos, looking over her shoulder to see the familiar fighters… _her friends._

Bernadetta laced arrow after arrow with a set expression. Caspar brawling and battling with Ferdinand keeping foes at bay with his lance. Petra swiftly flying from one end of the battlefield to the other, obliterating with every swipe of the steel edge. Jeritza rode down to her on her horse and paused.

“Your Majesty, I have returned.” He said calmly, as he swung his scythe into the enemies before him. When they burst into ashes his eyes grew wide. “Such strange trickery.”

“Jeritza, cover the ground troops and be careful not to let them hit you.” She commanded, and he shook his head as if snapping from his thoughts.

“As you wish.” He kicked his heels into the side of his mare and ran off toward another batch of the beasts, seemingly enjoying this.

With a moment to breathe her eyes scanned quickly for the person she prayed lead them, and she saw her. A blur across the battlefield. 

Her heart soared for a moment… Byleth… the real Byleth… 

But she saw the way she moved, slaughtering her doppelgängers. Mercilessly.

She’d only seen her fight like this once before, and her heart sank back down below the surface, knowing she’d gone too far. It was like the day she’d almost died… fighting to every last ounce of blood in her body.

She had to get to her. Had to reach out… Try to pull her back.

She ran as best she could with blood still seeping out the back of her calf.

And as she neared, her breath came in sharp, and felt like a slice across her throat.

That wasn’t Byleth’s armor…

Those were surely pieces from the Knights of the church, even bearing the accursed coat of arms on front.

That wasn’t Byleth’s weapon…

She held the curved sword of Seiros… belonging to the leader of the Children of the Goddess…

That wasn’t Byleth’s hair…

Her throat constricted.

Her indigo locks as deep as the night sky were tarnished and bleached to a sickeningly bright shade…

Of green…

Like theirs…

Like _hers_ …

Edelgard’s knees shook beneath her as she moved, threatening to give out again. But she had to know.

When she was close enough to see her eyes… those blue pools she’d all but lost herself in before… she saw how they were spearmint now… and hollow…

“ _Byleth?_ ” She gasped. Feeling like she was being held under water.

Those hollow eyes blinked and the light returned, and turned to her with such need… and froze on hers.

They couldn’t seem to break from this moment… this crossroads… even while the battle raged on around them.

Ashes coated the air as the tides turned. Magic and steel and yells echoes throughout the space, but it was deafened by the sound of her own heart hammering in her ears.

She couldn’t begin to sort her emotions. What to say… what to do… All she could think about was how sad those eyes looked upon her own. 

And then a ball of black magic came hurling at her head and knocked her forward onto the ground in a heap.

“Hubert!” Edelgard yelled when she saw her advisor coming forward, a look of shock and purpose in his eyes and trembling lip.

He moved forward swiftly, flicking his arm to cast a warp spell and a small portal opened up behind him. He hauled her form up by the chest plate and disappeared through without another word.

Edelgard broke from her stupor to follow after him, taking as many shaky steps as she could before diving through the portal and appearing back outside Fort Merceus, covered in the dark of the early night.

“Hubert, no!” She yelled as she saw him toss Byleth on her back against the edge of the walls

He put a boot onto her chest and pulled his arm back, loading a ball of swirling black energy on his fingers.

“I ask that you look away Your Majesty.” He said blankly but there was fury in his eyes.

“Hubert, stop this!” She said attempting to rush him on her injured calf. She grabbed his arm, and he grit his teeth, not relenting, but she wasn’t either. She tightened her hold and watched his eyes fill with surprise as she threw him back onto his ass in the dirt. Her years of weapons training paying off.

She posted herself between him and her fallen professor as he pushed back to his feet off the soggy grass. She held Aymr to her side to make her point.

“Your Majesty! Be reasonable! She is clearly a traitor!” He bellowed, looking stunned that he should have to explain this to her.

“There is nothing clear about this situation.” Edelgard said back, a chill to her words even she felt.

“If we wait for her to make the first move we risk everything.” He said back, trying to keep his growing emotion out of his tone. And failing. 

But she wasn’t budging. He saw it in her eyes and bit his lip as he could see his points fell on deaf ears.

“I suggest we at least restrain h-“

“Absolutely not.” Edelgard said, cutting him off. Her own emotions beginning to show through.

“Then you will doom us all for her!” He yelled. “AGAIN.” 

And there it was… the root of the pain.

“Hubert…” She tried lowering her voice, knowing he didn’t understand the full picture. Knowing the full picture was not a pleasant one.

“You can not deny it.” He squeezed his eyes shut with the words. Words he didn’t wish to say.

“No… I can not. I know your pain… I feel it too.” She said grimly. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to go… but killing her solves nothing.”

“It keeps us from letting her ruin anything else!” He said with a dramatic wave of his arm.

“I slept with her.” Edelgard blurted. “We… slept together.” She spoke slowly, punctuating her sentences. His eyebrows raised, and mouth hung open with his next rebuttal fizzling away. 

“I.. hardly think that information is pertinent-“

“NO. Listen to me.” She said clearly. Feeling the depth of her devotion.

“She touched me, Hubert. She _saw_ my scars… and she kissed them.” She remembered the feel of her lips. Feather light.

“She _knows_ how I was cut apart… and she would put me back together.” The hands that healed her while they bled out themselves.

“She saw behind my mask… and she _still_ chose me…” She paused letting the words hang in the charged air between them.

“No one… has ever chosen to walk this path with me… besides you.” She turned to him, seeing his hatred and anger dissolving ever so slightly.

“That’s why… why I couldn’t lose her Hubert. _Can’t_ lose her.” She looked down at her now, even with her new cosmetic appearances, she was still the same woman who had risked it all for her… multiple times…

“Lady Edelgard…” He clutched his hand to his chest. Starting and stopping his next sentence before finally gritting his teeth to get it out. “We always said… we would do anything to achieve your vision. And I stand by that… I still will.”

This was something she didn’t expect to see from him… vulnerability.

“I have stained my soul in black for the world you would create… and I’d do it again.” His voice trembled.

“I don’t want you to!” She yelled back, her composure breaking past its last restraint. “I am willing… to do a lot of things Hubert. To traverse paths that would make me a villain… to give my mind, body, and soul… my very being to this cause. But… there has to be a limit.” She felt tears threaten to break, and her words turned to a sharp whisper “There has to… Or else we are just like them.”

And she saw what they’d done to his father… to Hubert… to her… to countless others. They’d throw people away without thought… she almost had too.

She remembered their plans to turn on the church… to turn on their classmates… to turn on her.

She lowered her weapon and looked her oldest friend in the eyes, a silent plead that she knew he saw. His eyes softened, and they were nearing an understanding, though she knew they were far from the point they’d once been. He’d been far too patient with everything she’d put him through already. 

“I’m sorry Hubert.” She said genuinely, and feeling so tired. “I’m sorry for so many things. But not her…” She looked over her shoulder back toward the woman she could still not define, and feared the lengths she would go to for her.

The lengths she had already gone to.

“I hope you never come to regret her…” He said finally. As close to formal as he could be.

“As do I.”

**********************************************

_‘You said you wouldn’t… You broke your promise.’_

Byleth shot out of bed, the image still painted in her mind of how Edelgard had looked at her. The accusation there in those lilac eyes… _violet, lavender, amethyst_

The voices of the past gnawed on the end of her thoughts, but were practically drowned out by the weight of the present.

She clutched at her head, a slight pain there from whatever had knocked her out. Nothing compared to the one she’d been feeling for hours as her past tried to force its way out of her.

“So… you’re awake.” Hubert was leaning against the closed door of the small room, arms folded across his chest, and staring _very_ intently at the floor. She looked up at him from the small cot of her room. There was some basic furniture, a pitcher of water. A window. It was nice for a cell.

Her first thought was that she hadn’t seen Hubert in a long time, and was happy for a moment… despite it all to see him again. He looked weary. She could guess the months hadn’t been good to him in the wake of whatever turmoil had occurred.

He had always been challenging toward her. She understood it as protectiveness, but right now there was a somberness… and an air of hostility mixed in one breath. She wasn’t sure if he would cry or cut her open. She wasn’t sure what she would do either.

Finally, the mage looked up from the ground at her.

“You’ve never been much of a conversationalist, so I figure I will save us the time and simply explain the situation at hand.”

An energy of anger that he seemed unable to act upon, though he desperately wanted to. She could guess why.

“Against all sense of judgement you’ve been granted access to our ranks. So I will ask the questions and you will answer them. If you do not, I can not speak to the extent of what will be done to you… but it will not be good.”

She nodded simply. It was easiest to go along. Though she had no clue how to begin to find the right words for the can of worms they were about to open.

“Are you with the Knights of Seiros?” He asked. She shook her head no.

“But you wear their symbol?” He challenged. She looked down at her chest plate.

The symbol of the church… the crest of the Emperor… the flag that the knights rally behind… it was a convoluted combination of circles and lines that now suddenly meant far too much.

“Edelgard bears their crest, yet still opposes them.” She said back as if that was answer enough. And in her mind… no matter where this ended she was opposing them. She’d never fully trusted the church. After seeing how Jeralt was always looking over his shoulder she knew she should be wary. But now… it was far greater than a suspicion. 

“The weapon you brought.” He nodded to the corner where she saw it resting. She felt physically ill at seeing it. It had been easy to wield… even coursed with power that resonated with hers as she used it. But it was theirs… and therefore not to be trusted. She never wished to wield it again.

“Keep it.” She said dismissively.

“How did you obtain it?” He asked more seriously.

“Given. All I had when we escaped.”

He studied her, and she felt like a steak being sized for the grill. He took a few steps closer, arms still crossed. She could see the bags under his eyes. She felt his stiffness and distrust.

“You know what has happened in your wake?” He asked, spite bleeding through his tone.

“Some of it.” She said, feeling the guilt at what her enslavement had resulted in. “Do you blame us?” She asked seriously, turning toward him.

“I do not blame her… but I do blame you.” Hubert said remorsefully. “If I had managed to stop her…”

“It’s hard to stop her… when she puts her mind to something.” Byleth said with a light smile, thinking of the woman she’d followed across the continent.

Hubert fell silent, pondering what card to play next.

“What are your intentions for Lady Edelgard.” He said, burrowing his gaze on her.

Intentions… that implied she’d be allowed to stay…

“Where is she?” She asked softly, a dread and desire to see her again mixing. _That look in her eye._

“Answer the question…” He said coming closer.

“To help her.” She said, her voice breaking slightly.

“You’ve done a fine job of that.” He said quietly, words like fire. She couldn’t refute him.

“I didn’t…” She frowned, staring at the covers on the bed she sat. “I blame myself too.” She finally said.

He suddenly reached out and grabbed the front of her armor, trying to appear menacing.

“Don’t dare think that is enough.” He said with strained breath. “You have cost her a great deal. Her allies, her assets, her throne… and if it wasn’t her express orders to not end you-“ He cut himself off with a sigh and broke his gaze. She could feel his hand tremble against the leather straps of her armor. He was fighting his instincts.

She’d seen this out of him before… in shaky voices of the past. There had been lives where they were allies, friends, enemies… And even once where he…

Byleth blinked tears as she saw the one life where she’d truly failed him.

“She looks so sad when you kill me.” Byleth said thoughtlessly, turning to look up at the ceiling... She took a deep breath, but it came through broken. She wished these memories would stop. The past where Hubert had put a dagger through her chest… the look in Edelgard’s eye... it was enough to break her heart.

When she met his eye again he merely blinked, releasing her as if her armor was suddenly burning him. This wasn’t what he’d expected. He was recalculating.

“But… I don’t have a good answer for you Hubert. If I hadn’t been captured… perhaps she wouldn’t have followed… perhaps she’d still have her family's mantle… perhaps she’d still be the Flame Emperor… but…” She furrowed her brow, thinking of how to express all she felt. “She seemed to really hate it behind that mask…”

They sat in silence after that, Hubert unable to find the correct words to properly express his wrath and confusion.

The door opened, breaking them from the onerous air they’d been left in.

“Eisner.” Shamir stood in the entryway. “Heard you’d finally arrived.” She said coming closer, pushing past Hubert and leaning forward to put a hand (her good hand, Byleth noticed) on her shoulder. She hummed.

“You look like shit, let’s get you some fresh air.” She looped an arm around her back, not waiting for a response, and helping her up.

“That’s not-“ Hubert tried before Shamir pushed past him yet again.

“Hey Hubert, fuck off. She’s not a prisoner.” She said over her shoulder, and she swore he was about to curse them both. But he instead balled his fists and hung his head as they left.

 _I’m not a prisoner…_ Byleth thought with some hope.

**********************************************

Edelgard leaned a hand against the wall as she walked. The bottoms of her feet were still sore from her window sill escape. The cut to the back of her calf, while not incredibly deep was proving to be more troublesome than she’d hoped. It felt like the cut was vibrating…. like the cells were struggling to heal themselves. Their technology was advanced. She wondered what else they could make. The images of the ashen Byleth’s still haunted her.

She had known Hubert would have a hard time with her and Byleth’s history. And the talk had been a long time coming. They’d have much more to discuss in the future, but she’d made her stance very clear to him… _you hurt her, you hurt me…_

She trusted him not to hurt her.

But now she had responsibilities as a leader. She had to attend to matters. She had found Ladislava and asked her to take a unit with medical supplies to recover the soldiers that may still be returning from their expedition. And the Eagles…. and Jeritza… that she’d unintentionally left behind on that hill as she’d followed after Hubert.

_She makes you distracted._

Words she’d used as Flame Emperor crept back into her mind. Now they were turned on her.

She’d checked in with patrols, and the cooks to make sure there were rations set aside for those that would be coming. Deposited the bulk of her armor. And put Aymr back in the weapons locker. Now she was on her way to the gates to check in with Randolph. She focused on the tasks. Tasks. They were simple. They were necessary. They were _not_ … Byleth.

The thing she couldn’t figure out how to deal with.

Her instant thought was… that she’d been betrayed.

She knew that she hadn’t. Byleth still came for her. _She still came for me._

And she kept replaying that moment their eyes had met. There was such pain… such loss… such misery shrouded in the ionic green pools.

That look kept that feeling of betrayal at bay… even if only a little. There was a story there… and she had always _always_ given Edelgard the chance to explain herself. She deserved the same courtesy.

She just wasn’t sure she was going to like the story.

As she made it around the hall toward the open courtyard by the entrance she heard some familiar voices.

“Bernie, I promise we’re not going to Varley territory.”

“Ar-are you sure? It’s right… right next to Bergliez…”

She paused hearing her friends, and felt an instant warmth… they were here too.

“I’m sure that if you don’t want to go, then we’re not going there. I swear, ok B?” Dorothea said kindly to the nervous girl.

“W-when we were going to Enb-barr it seemed really far away… b-but now…”

“Bernadetta.” Edelgard said as she came closer, drawing both their eyes. “We’re not going to Varley territory. You have my word.” She spoke in her calm and definitive way, she knew the way that got through best to her young squirrelly friend. Dorothea crossed the space between them in a flash, swifter than her Thoron spell, and pulled her into a crushing hug. Bernie hovered behind them.

 _“Edie.”_ She sighed against her. “Love what you’ve done with your hair. Short is in.” She said lightly into her shoulder where she held her.

She instinctually returned the gesture, a sad laugh on her lips. Thankful for her presence and equally guilty at what she’d dragged her into.

“I didn’t expect to see you both here.” It was true. She’d hoped for Byleth, but gotten her Eagles as well… it felt too good to be true.

“After what happened to the Professor… I don’t think any of us wanted to stay.” Dorothea said somberly.

“The others…” She said, her voice cracking softly.

“Caspar and Petra took her Wyvern to the stables with Randolph. Think Caspar was excited to meet this extended family. And then Ferdinand took Lysithea to get some food. The girls got an appetite.”

“And… t-the professor?” Bernadetta asked. “How is she?”

“Sleeping.” Edeglard returned, pulling back slightly from her friend who still clasped onto her forearms.

“That’s a relief, the rest will probably do her some good. She’s been through a lot…” Her and Bernie shared a look that Edelgard attempted to decipher.

“What exactly… happened to her?” She tried, cautiously.

“It’s… hard to say.” Dorothea bit her lip in thought. “I don’t think any of us understand the extent… only that it’s bad. And not what she wanted.”

“I think they hurt her...” Bernadetta said softly, staring at the ground and clutching both hands in the front of her hoodie. “She seems h-hurt.”

“And it’s hard to hurt her…” Dorothea added.

Edelgard felt that misery she’d seen in her gaze again. She shifted her weight and grimaced, her calf still bleeding. Dorothea noticed and gasped.

“Edie! Why didn’t you get that looked at?” She exclaimed.

“Not many healers here…” She said dismissively, but Dorothea was having none of it, nodding toward Bernadetta who helped seat her on the ground as Dorothea extended her leg gingerly, studying the wound.

“Those things again.” Dorothea said, squinting at the slash.

“You’ve seen them before?” Edelgard asked surprised.

“Unfortunately. Seems there’s a lot for us to catch up on.” Dorothea said with a soft smile as she channeled her white magic, the soft glow of her hand inching the skin back together.

“Seems that way indeed.” She said. Knowing they had just followed their beloved professor into something of a much larger scale than they realized. She could deal with that later though.

The bleeding stopped and she had one deep spongy line of scar tissue left. She sighed in relief.

“Thank you Dorothea.” She said genuinely, smiling at the songstress.

“Of course Edie. Are you hurt anywhere else?”

Her instinct was to say no and rise, continue on her rounds. But she’d changed the wrappings on her feet thrice that day alone. Perhaps… she could let herself rely on her friend. Just this once…

She sighed.

“Well since you’re offering, I could actually use your help.” She nodded towards her boots and Dorothea understood, helping her slide them off and wincing when she saw the blood stained bandages.

“Umm… Edelgard…” Bernadetta spoke from beside her looking thoughtfully at the ground again. “I don’t think you sh-should be mad at the Professor.”

“Why do you think I’d be mad?” Edelgard asked, slightly curious.

“I d-don’t know. She seemed to think you w-would be. But she cares about you a lot.” Bernadetta rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

Edelgard gulped down her words, knowing they were true. Byleth cared about her. They cared for _each other._ Even with whatever this was…

“Thank you for saying that Bernie.”

She couldn’t keep avoiding it, she needed to find Byleth. They were both going through things, clearly. Dealing with battles and challenges neither could’ve predicted. They both needed to heal. Needed someone to lean on. They’d been that for each other before. Maybe they could again.

They were stronger together than apart.

**********************************************

Shamir and Byleth came to sit at the top of the complex, along the wall looking down at the area outside the fortress walls. In the light of the moon she could just barely make out some of the surrounding geography.

They sat there awhile in silence and Byleth was infinitely grateful for someone like her right now. A friend. A person with a shared past who had ghosts too. Maybe none like hers, she wasn’t sure anyone had ghosts like hers, but close.

“So… you wanna talk about it?” Shamir finally asked.

Byleth shook her head. The archer nodded.

“Figured. That’s probably for the better.”

Byleth glanced at the sling. She couldn’t quite see the extent of the damage on her arm, but she could imagine how it was acquired.

“You wanna talk about that?” She asked softly.

“Absolutely not.” Shamir said back blankly. Byleth nodded.

“Thank you.” She said softly, already anticipating her response.

“You don’t need to thank me. It was my mission. So I did it.” She said with a shrug.

“No it wasn’t.” Byleth said, staring ahead. Not fooled by her act. When a mission went wrong the protocol in mercenary days was to bail. Live to fight another day. Not allow yourself to be pointlessly deceived or killed.

Shamir hummed in response.

“Guess not.”

“You kept her safe.” Byleth said in response. _When I couldn’t. When I should’ve_. “For that… I’m thankful.”

“Acknowledged, ok you big baby?” Shamir fired back and Byleth couldn’t help but smirk. “She really turned you soft huh?”

Byleth shrugged. Maybe she did. But being soft had been nice… versus whatever calamity she was now. Shamir was watching her face.

“She’s not lost yet Eisner.” And Byleth couldn’t help but feel like she was. Far beyond her grasp, when Byleth didn’t even know what direction was up. She gripped her fingers into her thighs.

“Maybe not… but I think I might be…”

A hum from the archer.

“Then I hope you find your way back. Cause she’s crazy about you.”

The silence returned for a while. Frogs joining the chorus of the night. A slight rumble in the distance.

“Who’s Ladi?” Byleth asked seeing the name that signed the inside strap of her sling, and she didn’t miss the slight start it gave Shamir by asking.

“Reconnected acquaintance.” She said, in a tone that said that was the end of the conversation. Byleth had to fight her smirk, turning her face away slightly. “You one of us now?” She added, nodding toward her armor and Byleth’s expression fell.

“No… definitely not… not after…” She shook her head, and realized she had to tell her something else that had occurred while she was gone. Turning to meet the archer’s eye once more. “Catherine’s dead.”

Shamir’s eyes widened a fraction.

“I’m sorry… I know you two were close… I couldn’t…” She slumped her shoulders.

“It wasn’t your job to protect her. It was your job to protect the students.” She said firmly, giving her a reassuring look. “She… was always too eager to fight. _Especially_ for Rhea.”

Shamir sighed and looked up to the night sky again.

“Hard to get close to someone when you’ll always be number two.” She commented. “Can’t walk the same path when they refuse to see the thorns…”

Byleth nodded, understanding. She thought about El. She had a clear path. A line she must walk… and long ago Byleth had decided it was the one she too would walk… _could she still…_

She looked down at where her gloves sat over her reconnected fingers.

“Hard to know what path to take.”

“Only if you make it hard. The answer’s usually right there… it’s just easy to pretend it’s not when you don’t want to see it.” Shamir said, a slight edge. “That fool might’ve noticed if she ever let herself break away. There are many reasons to follow a person… but at a certain point… blind devotion is just that. Blind.”

Byleth felt that deeply. Catherine had always been loyal to Rhea more than the church. Byleth thought about her own choices… she’d always picked Edelgard… picked El… because it seemed right… it seemed like the only truth… and now… seeing who the enemies were… it seemed like the only light she could find. The world was colorless… dark… drab… she was fire and warmth and the only choice she wanted to make.

She hoped that was enough… the world shouldn’t be grey. It should be bright.

Like her.

**********************************************

Edelgard climbed the last floor of stairs to the roof after passing Shamir in the hall.

“You should go talk to her.” The archer had mentioned.

Edelgard’s heart started beating faster as she got closer. The back of her neck was warm and she felt such a tightness… but she wasn’t the type to run away. She’d face this head on. It was the only way to solve this new situation they were in… the only problem was she wasn’t even sure what would _be_ an ideal outcome…

When she crossed the last stair and flipped open the door to the roof she saw her… Byleth. Sitting there, legs crossed in front of her with her knees pressed against her chest and arms around them. Something about the pose looked so fragile and genuine, and she was reminded of Bernadetta’s words.

_I think they hurt her._

She looked hurt… not physically but something was afflicting her greater than she was letting on.

That bothered her more than anything else in the moment and she went to sit at her side, slowly, setting the tone.

She saw Byleth turn to her in her peripherals and look at a loss for what to say before turning forward once more.

“Your hair is short.” Byleth said gently, breaking the silence.

“Yours is green.” 

Byleth hummed into her knees and tilted her forehead against them.

“It’s not my natural color…” She said softly. An attempted joke, perhaps? She remembered saying that to her back at the monastery when she let herself be vulnerable. When they’d laid wrapped in each other's arms, and oh how she wished it were simple enough for that now.

“A lot has changed…” Edelgard said to the night.

The coming autumn night blew the leaves together in a soft sway.

“I was surprised… when I didn’t wake up in chains…” Byleth murmured.

“Hubert suggested something along those lines.” Edelgard said honestly. Sure he hadn’t been the most welcoming wake up party.

“Why didn’t you let him?” She asked, turning her eyes to her.

“I would never… let anyone put you in chains again.” It was almost painful to admit the power she had over her. But it was the truth. The idea of anyone doing that to her… Hubert… Cornelia…

“Rhea did.” Byleth whispered.

And Edelgard saw red.

“She- she _what?_ ” She couldn’t keep the anger out of her voice. Byleth nodded sheepishly.

“When she did this…” Byleth ran a hand through her hair and Edelgard felt she finally understood, at least a glimpse of the larger picture. It would be hard to get the whole story out of Byleth when she was hurting like this. When they were both hurting.

“I made the wrong choice. I thought we shared the same goal… but they want to protect their image… not people.” She said gently. Her voice was so weak… she could only remember her looking like this when she’d been so battered, arm broken in a million places in that cell.

Edelgard took a deep breath… trying to think where they could go from here. Though their situations were different… they were also the same. They were both losing the identities they’d always hid behind. They were healing. Hurting. Lost in a large world, and yet they had each other sitting right here. Someone they knew could understand… if only they could breach that monumental gap that sat just 3 feet between them.

She had to be the one to do it. To pull them back together… even if it couldn’t last.

They both needed it.

“Byleth… do you remember the first time we were… together?” Edelgard asked slowly, thinking back to the dingy bed in that hellish place where they had found their refuge in each other.

It was hard to know if it had been the right thing… or if there was such a thing. It hadn’t been the smart thing. The advised thing. The convenient thing. But it was the only thing she didn’t regret looking back.

_Well… that and stabbing Thales._

Byleth nodded.

“I… was terrified.” She said, not liking the way the admission tasted on her tongue. She preferred to be private. To guard. But Byleth… was the exception. _And this was still Byleth._

“I was scared to bare myself. My skin… and scars… and past. But I was more afraid for you to know the sides of me… that I didn’t like. Sides I had no say in…”

She thought of the crescent scar on her chest and presumed it was in some way a part of this. All those times at that place that Byleth had looked at her with that unbridled care, even when she’d felt undeserving. And the nauseous feeling that would twist in her gut when she did.

“When you held me… as I tried to tell you the truth… you told me you didn’t expect me to be perfect.” Edelgard’s voice shook slightly at the weight of the words. “That we all had our shortcomings… so I ask you now… why wouldn't you allow yourself the same forgiveness?”

Byleth’s expression had shifted to such a subtle version of complete pain that it was almost unbearable. The crease in her brow, her eyes wide and glossy, her lips curled into an awed frown.

“Because I didn’t think _you_ would…” Byleth croaked.

It felt like a splash of ice water down her back.

“I didn’t either…” She said, her eyes sliding down to the ground below.

She thought of her earlier conversation with Hubert. Saw how he intended to deal with this. _Would she have stopped him?_

“I can’t say that this doesn’t change anything…” She felt the hurt in her throat still… that feeling the moment she had seen green locks across the battlefield and thought she’d lost her to the church. But that feeling was magnified in Byleth’s eyes… those spearmint rims that had endured this. As they had many other terrible things. She was a victim… and Edelgard wouldn’t punish her further. Especially… given that she was still punishing herself.

“But it doesn’t change the important things.” She affirmed, reaching a hand out gently, palm facing up. An invitation… an olive branch. A way to cross the gap. Her hairs stood on end as she awaited her response.

But it was quick.

Byleth reached for her and when her fingers folded around Edelgard’s, she let out a sigh that exhaled her deepest fears. Tears pricking at the edge of her eyes, and she pressed them closed in repose. And for a moment… Edelgard was reminded how beautiful she was. 

_“Thank you.”_ She breathed.

They sat in this new moment… something familiar and new. Something that was forgiving and foretelling. A storm cloud rumbled overhead.

“We should probably head back inside…” Edelgard said softly.

“That’s ok…. I think I want to stay. Wait for the rain.” Byleth looked up at the sky as the first drops broke free, falling on her cheeks.

And something about the sight of it… was so purely Byleth… that Edelgard couldn’t help but smile.

“You always did like the rain.” She said.

“Yeah… still do.” She smiled for the first time since she’d returned, something so unfiltered and innocent. Edelgard tightened her hand in hers and let the drops fall around them. She barely felt them.

She focused on her palm. The warmth there that she’d missed. The familiarness of it… and for now it was enough. She could almost forget she was sitting with a Knight of Seiros.

She looked at the emblem on her chest plate and saw Byleth’s eyes follow hers there. She turned with grieved eyes to Edelgard and released her hand. Before Edelgard could respond she watched her lift the chest plates from over her head, and toss it carelessly from the roof to the ground below.

Edelgard blinked in response, almost not comprehending.

“Byleth, what’re you-“

She tore the cuffs from her arms next, the vambrace, everything but the glove… and when she got down to that she ripped it off as well, discarding every fabric and piece of steel down to the depths below as the rain plastered her grey compression shirt to her body. She saw new scars healing on her exposed skin. Saw goosebumps rise slightly on her arms and neck from the cool drops.

“I’m not theirs.” She said simply, and turned with those eyes… those ones that saw right through her… “I think you’re the only path I can take… the only one that makes sense…”

She shyly reached out her hand again… revealing the circles scars on her hand that she’d guarded so tightly, and Edelgard took it once more, and let herself smile as the rain came down on them.

_Always surprising her._

_Also a very Byleth thing to do._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn guys, what a chap. Now this does string together some of the prequels obviously, and gets our girls FINALLY back together. And the main thing I found myself not wanting to do after all this time was the classic miscommunication leads to destroying everything we built up til now. Like that would drive me crazy. So there’s a pain. Theres hurt. There’s questioning and discomfort and an uncertain future and work to be done, but they are important to each other. And we go from there.
> 
> Anywho, we’re also building out some bigger things. Insert Anna which I've been super excited about! Insert Byleth’s identity crisis and her being unable to catch a freaking break. And then honestly this chapter was missing some fun, so hence the throwing armor over the wall.
> 
> Umm... yeah, i wrote like 2000 words today, imma tired y’all. But I’m happy it’s done and I hope hope hope you’re excited cause next chapter... hoboi... We set the groundwork just to rip it all up!
> 
> AND gotta give a big thanks to my friend from Olympics Project, @ashley_avaryss for offering to beta for me this chap. I got a lot of other projects unfortunately going on, so it really really helped having someone to get another set of eyes on it! ❤️
> 
> THANK YOU ALL FOR READING.


	10. Can We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth tries to find her direction.  
> Edelgard deals with the truths and trials she thinks she must.  
> Can they move forward together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all. So we’re back :D
> 
> Happy to be here. This was definitely the toughest chapter to write up til now, and I think a lot of it was life stuff. We had a death in the family, holidays were busy for work and pandemic and life and just icky things. And this chapter was heavy. So it was just tough to willingly bring myself back down to this point and connect my thoughts. BUT. We took ourselves a little less seriously and we worked it out and I’m really pleased with where we landed. And excited for the last two chapters this is setting up.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with it, or for joining in whenever you did. Glad to be back :)

**Part 10 - After Stockholm**

The rain had long since drenched Byleth. Her clothes stuck to her skin and her hair hung matted and damp around her eyes. Droplets like crystals and tears ran down the strands, falling back to the earth after their brief interruption.

It was comforting in its own way. The chill she felt encompassing her skin. The pitter patter of water trickling down in its random pattern. The humidity in the air.

All these little sensations were familiar… even with everything else feeling alien. Even with the thoughts that weren’t hers barraging into her mind, she could instead hold on desperately to the things that felt like truth.

Like the hand she held in hers.

Byleth watched her companion quietly out of the corner of her eye. Her hair had been cut unevenly short along the back. The skin around her eye looked recently bruised. She was tired. She always looked tired. But the biggest change… was in her shoulders. They’d always looked proud. Strong. Carrying a massive weight, but readily.

Now they stooped ever so slightly, as if the mountain had begun to crumble. And the sight broke her unknown heart. Edelgard Von Hresvelg was not one to accept defeat. But in the moment… it seemed she had been dealt no alternative. Like she was slipping... and Byleth couldn’t catch her this time...

Not when she’d already fallen so far.

Byleth clasped her hand tighter, afraid of what would happen if she released it... how much further would she fall?

But those soft lilac eyes turned to her... taking her fully into her gaze. Those pools that always held her so tight… showing a vulnerability she couldn’t hide...

And she was hit with a blast like a cannon. Scraps too chaotic and complicated to process. Lips and skin and blood and soot. All their pasts… woven intricately and chaotically through pains and trials, losses and triumphs. Whatever her previous lives had been... they had been enveloped in Edelgard.

And she wondered if it wouldn’t be better to let herself fall away.

If she held tight she would surely drag her down too…

Her gaze darted to a flash of movement, and settled just past her silvery locks where she saw-

_Her._

It was getting rather tiresome, seeing hallucinations in the form of herself. But this one was new. Not the Ashen Past, with grey cindered skin and piercing eyes. Nor the beasts with their unnatural gait and menacing aura.

This was… Byleth. As she’d once been... ever so briefly. She wore simple attire... no armor in sight... and her hair was it’s rightful shade of Indigo. _Like her moms..._

But what really caught her was her expression, ever so… gentle. Humane. _Human._

The phantom stood off to the side, walking right up to the drop off and bracing one leg to peer down. She rolled her shoulders back and looked at peace, before sighing out a long exhale, and when she finally turned to meet Byleth’s eye there was her once cobalt hues looking back at her. The ones that had looked over cups of tea and stray cats and books on white magic. Not the ones that had endured battles, losses, bloodshed.

“My teacher…”

The voice snapped her back from her stupor and she turned to Edelgard, who had always seen right through her. Byleth wondered what she saw now... surely not what they had hoped to. Mercifully, she didn’t pry.

“Let’s head in…” Edelgard said.

When Byleth turned back to the phantom it was gone. _Typical_.

They rose from the ground and their hands finally released each other. Byleth missed the contact instantly.

The imprint of her hand in hers pushed back her millions of concerns and fragmented thoughts that hovered in her psyche. It spawned an idea brighter than the rest…

And it was the only thought that made sense...

In a world that was cold… Edelgard was warm.

**********************************************

Edelgard was freezing as the two of them walked down the hall. Her arms wrapped around her shoulders to lock in heat and she mentally counted the footsteps behind her of her former teacher, trying to think what was next… wondering what she was thinking... wondering if she’d suddenly disappear...

She had no clue how to move passed the new dynamic they’d found themselves in. But she couldn’t imagine losing her now... or hurting her further.

Distracted by her musings, she found they had arrived at her makeshift room rather suddenly.

She turned to see Byleth standing a respectful distance away, staring off and contemplating something sullen. Drops of rain still trickled down her cheeks and neck.

For all the sides of Byleth she’d seen between her academy days and their shared imprisonment... this was her least favorite look. _Lost._

“Byleth...” She said gently, watching the way her eyes snapped to her. When they’d first met her gaze had made her almost uncomfortable for everything it perceived and saw through. She’d been afraid to be one of those things... now she found it liberating how genuinely they assessed her. How comforting it was to be in the weight of her view. “Come inside...” She said, feeling caution slipping away. “Let’s get you some dry clothes.” Byleth nodded, looking slightly absent and before Edelgard could talk herself out of it she let them both in and closed the door.

Once inside she turned toward the few spare outfits that Hubert had found her. Similar to what she wore now. White button up shirt. Khaki slacks. She handed one stack to Byleth.

“Thank you...” She said, sounding so meek.

“You’re welcome.”

Edelgard turned to face the wall and took a breath as she started disrobing. She saw Byleth turn her head, a slight flush on her cheeks, and the sight made her smile... if only a little.

“My teacher... you’ve seen all of me.” She thought of lighter times... “I said before I would never hide from you again.”

She trusted her intentions had not changed even if her appearance had.

Byleth nodded, as she continued to peel away the white button up and felt a fresh chill on her skin. Her professor eventually reached for her own shirt and pried away the skin tight compression material, looking at the floor as she did, and Edelgard caught a glimpse of new scars along her ribs... gnarled and red.

“What’s happened?” She asked, concerned.

Byleth saw where her gaze had fallen and her jaw tensed.

“Those things... the ones that look like me... left me with a few new ones.”

Edelgard winced. She knew the pain those blades could cause. The two lines on Byleth’s face had been made by the same accursed things.

“So those things…”

“Ashen.” Byleth said. Giving them a name.

“Ashen. You’ve seen them before?” She asked curiously. “Dorothea mentioned something about them.”

“They made them from me… from my blood.”

Edelgard felt her body stiffen, and saw the way Byleth stared into the ground. Anger bubbling through all her passiveness.

“When they attacked the monastery… They took Catherine. Almost took more. And when… _she_ asked me to step in... all I could think about was stopping them.”

“That’s why…” The revelation was forming. _Why she became a knight._

“That’s why.” Byleth said back.

Byleth _hadn’t_ chosen the church… her promise wasn’t broken.

“May I?” She asked, holding up her hand and summoning white magic on her fingertips.

Byleth nodded and she crossed the last few steps to stand before, ghosting her fingers across the damaged skin. It reformed slowly... unlike any wound she’d worked on. There was something dastardly in these weapons.

As she watched it heal her eyes studied the rest of her scars. Seeing the faded lines of the many she had endured during their time imprisoned. When they’d taken her blood… _for this…_ She should have expected them to try something so vile.

The main offender on her rib cage was closed, at least as much as it could be, and as she studied the others she lost herself in her form. Her eyes drew pictures across the tales of peril, and ended over the entry point from the Thoron spell that nearly claimed her.

_From when I almost lost her..._

Her throat went dry, and she resting her hand over the wound before any thought or reason could convince her otherwise. The skin that had healed over was still black and webbed, with lines of gray and white running through. She’d never seen a scar like it before.

_Deadly wounds don’t normally heal._

But she had healed.

She was here.

She had come for her.

She’d kept her promise.

Edelgard breathed in under all these revelations and stepped forward, letting the weight carry her.

She gently wrapped her arms around Byleth and felt her hold her back instantly. Their cool skin, catching warmth between them. She sighed into the contact. Letting herself be vulnerable was hard... but Byleth had seen her heart before, and not run. Most of all, she’d reminded her she had one.

“I was so scared I’d lost you...” She said, the tension between them leaving little by little. “That you were _theirs_...”

“I was scared too...”

“But you’re here...”

“I’m here...”

Edelgard pressed closer, feeling herself melt into the contact. She’d forgotten how damn good it was to be held by her. And she knew Hubert would tell her to be careful… to resist and put up walls and be weary but… her instincts told her to fall… and that she’d catch her.

As she always had...

So she permitted this moment. They both needed it.

She wasn’t sure how long they stood, half soaked, no longer cold in that spot in her room. But long enough for her to accept that Byleth had returned to her.

And... to understand what truly came next. Though the revelation was sour to the taste... it was what _had_ to come next.

She hadn’t chosen the church... but she had chosen her students. She always would.

And they couldn’t stay.

Edelgard exhaled and broke the sacred contact between them.

Byleth’s jade eyes were so soft in that moment, like silk. She was so tempted to keep them here. Preserve this innocence and that look in her eyes. But they didn’t have the luxury.

“You have to lead them.” She said finally. A curious tilt of the head in response, and gods that little tick still hit her as disarmingly charming.

“I’m in far deeper than you could have possibly known when you brought them here. They can’t stay.”

Byleth’s lips parted as if to protest and she quickly placed a finger over them. Only slightly distracted by the warmth of her skin.

“Don’t refute this my teacher.” She continued, understanding the implications. They’d have to leave... and when they did...

“They chose to come.” Byleth said, the single finger slightly muffling her voice. “They would choose you again.”

Edelgard smiled wryly.

“You think they would follow the Flame Emperor, who empowered shadowed forces that stole her nation out from under her?” She shook her head. “No. And even if you were to choose me… you would lose them. They don’t know what has happened… what I’ve been through.” She felt a burning sadness at her words. Her chosen path would cost her everything after all.

She felt Byleth reach out, with a sudden urgency and grasp her arms, looking her dead in the eye with an apparent realization.

“One of them does.”

**********************************************

Byleth wandered the halls feeling… untethered. As if she would float away at the slightest breeze.

When she’d held Edelgard in her room she felt buried under a sea of emotions that no longer had names. She wanted to break through. To take her in her arms and dispel all the evil of the world and create a place for only the two of them...

But she didn’t know… _she didn’t know_ about Lysithea.

And she needed to.

Byleth practically dragged a confused El behind her, both of them still in half soaked clothes, before finding the mage. Sitting outside with a book in her hand, as she always was. But when her eyes fell on Edelgard the book fell to her side, discarded in thought as her whole body tensed. She’d been anticipating this meeting… or dreading it… or both. Her hand clutched the front of her cloak as she rose to her feet, eyes shimmering with something that felt monumental to Byleth. Some kind of unknown yearning and void and curiosity wrapped in one.

Lysithea pressed her hand over where her brand lay, that dastardly mark etched against her skin, and Edeglard’s eyes widened in a stupor.

Byleth watched them walk to each other, recognizing the questions and desperation mirrored back at them.

“I had no idea their reach was as far as the Alliance...” Edelgard said, finally finding her voice.

Lysithea seemed unable to find hers. She fidgeted on her feet, shifting her weight.

“Do you... carry their burden too?” Edelgard asked, her voice cracking the slightest bit. She nodded.

“Minor crest of Charon... and Major crest of Gloucester. I... was the only one left.” She said, soft sobs breaking her voice.

“As was I...” She whispered back, before reaching out and wrapping her arms around her. Lysithea sunk into the contact, and seeing the two of them... found souls... Byleth felt like she was intruding. They needed this moment. Whether now was the right time, it was the time they had. So she’d let herself slip away, and now found herself... wandering.

This was what she’d always done... drift without plan or purpose. Let others decide for her... her time as a mercenary... becoming a professor... and if Rhea had succeeded… she’d have become the empty vessel for Sothis.

That idea pricked al the nerves down her back and made her shiver. She’d almost been lost... no, not lost. _Sacrificed_.

But Edelgard... had been the first person to offer her a choice.

As she walked she felt like there was something drifting just around the corners. Just out of eye-sight... right beyond her reach. So she followed it through the halls, letting these glimpses lead her.

She continued on and caught more and more of this specters afterimage… though she supposed she already knew what it was. Soon enough, there was another presence, like a cloak.

“Hello Hubert.” She said.

He offered no greeting, simply falling in step beside her from whatever shadow he’d come from. She half-expected a knife to her ribs, and wasn’t in the state of mind to defend herself.

But it didn’t come.

“Edelgard is with-“

“I know where she is.” He cut her off. _Of course he did._

Byleth fell quiet as they walked. She had no energy for the games. If he needed something... he could ask.

They walked several more corridors in silence as a result.

“Where are you going?” He asked, apparently confused as to the nonsensical path they were taking.

“Nowhere.” She said blankly. “Just... following someone.”

“Who?” He said, now suspicious.

“A ghost I suppose.”

She now could catch the blues of the phantoms hair as it rounded corners. Surely she was closing in...

“And... how long have you been seeing this… apparition?” His tone was curious but certainly disapproving. She shrugged.

“This one, only today.”

“There have been others?”

“Yes. Since... _that_ place.”

A pause in his questioning and he cleared his throat. He didn’t sound surprised anymore.

“I see.”

Byleth turned to him finally, facing him properly but still keeping her gait.

“The students talked to you?” She realized the reason for his less than hostile nature.

“Yes.” He admitted, looking peeved at whatever their result had been.

“Which?”

“All of them.”

That made her smile slightly.

“And... they have filled in many blanks for me. Now having a better understanding of what has transpired...” He looked pained at whatever his next words would be. “I believe I may have acted in haste before in relation to how I treated you.” His tension and usually stoic exterior softened for just a moment... looking genuine.

“Thank you for saying that Hubert...” She felt sentimental speaking to him. She’d been happy to see him, and hoped some of the distrust between them could be fixed.

“You must understand… the last time I let her fall into their hands…” He bit his lip and looked a suppressed form of devastated as he visited whatever painful time he was conjuring.

“I understand Hubert. I do.” She said, as assuredly as she could.

They fell back into silence, acknowledging the others precarious emotions by not addressing them, and instead allowing them to hang in the air between them.

“Why do you follow the vision?” Hubert asked after they began another loop.

She shrugged, knowing it wasn’t an answer.

“I feel like… I’m wandering.” She said, shifting through the words. “Aimless.”

Another pause as Hubert assessed her.

“If the spirit has a direction… I’d like to know what it is.” She caught sight of the back of her leg up ahead her, as she turned.

“Because you lack it?” Hubert summarized.

_Well… yes._

She nodded.

“Well instead of following blindly... where do you _want_ her to lead you to?” Hubert asked, his tone falling back to intellectual neutral.

 _“To El.”_ Byleth’s answer fell out of her as a whisper.

They turned another hall and she caught the ghost stopped, looking back at her. Standing placidly at the center of the hall. Her blue hair and blue eyes and Byleth as just noticing now... no scars littering her skin.

“But you are afraid.” Hubert solved his own riddle as they came to a stop. Byleth leaned a hand on the wall. Her senses felt fried now that she was faced with answers.

“You were right.” Byleth said, suddenly feeling her mind dipping again. Feeling seas crashing on the ends of her present, wanting to drag her to pasts and futures unwelcome. “I’ve hurt her. She’s hurt me too.” Her left hand buzzed around the scars in her fingers and palm. “I’ve cost her so much. I want to give myself to her... but I am damaged.” That felt like the understatement of the century.

“We are all damaged.” He said softly, subconsciously rolling out his right shoulder from a memorable injury. “But we’ve not been broken yet.”

_Not broken yet…_

Byleth had been absolutely shattered, time and time again.

“Damaged does not mean worthless… And I believe…” He sighed. “I’m _certain_ … Her Majesty sees great worth in you.”

Byleth felt a glimmer at that. Something hopeful. She turned away from her deadlock with the ghost to face Hubert.

“I will follow her down any rabbit hole.” The mage continued. "As I’ve proven. But what she _needs_... what I am unable to be... is someone to pull her out…”

Seeing Hubert admit something he couldn’t do for Edelgard was like seeing a man with six arms. But she knew he said everything with purpose. “She needs someone… to help her find paths she wouldn’t normally consider... and the fact that she almost threw away her entire entity… leads me to believe that it has to be you.”

He looked her in the eye, and there was such energy there. Such promise and poise.

“It could only be you.”

Byleth felt her heart lift in its confines... before she remembered their prior conversation.

“She told me to leave.”

“Would you?” Hubert asked.

“I...” She looked up again and the ghost was now standing directly before her. An arms reach at best. Placated eyes that told her what she already knew. “If it were up to me… I would never be without her again.”

“Then don’t leave.” Hubert said plainly.

So simple... and yet-

A sudden blast shook the square, followed by a wave of screams. The ghost was gone and Byleth’s jaw tensed as her instincts kicked in and overrode any insecurities. She sprinted toward the sound. Hubert was a step behind her, equally alert. She cleared to the overhead and came sliding to a stop, bracing both arms on the banister as she looked down to the scene below.

A shadowed figure stood the center of the crowd, smoke settling around him from a warp spell he’d arrived in. He tilted his head up to meet Byleth’s eye. His own gaze emptier than the void.

Her arms trembled at the sight. His skin was charcoal... his hair a shorted bob, equally messy as hers... his armor a shade darker than his skin and bearing her crest... the Crest of Flames.

And in his hand... a sword. A blade of legend, humming and red. He lifted his weapon, _her weapon..._ and she watched the notches of the sword separate as he slashed it directly toward her.

**********************************************

Standing there with Lysithea had set off so many alarms and emotions Edeglard hadn’t realized she’d been suppressing. Seeing someone else who had come out the other end… It almost felt like she’d reclaimed one of the lost. And for that brief moment when she’d reached for her, she let herself be selfish, and imagine she had.

Lysithea had cried. Edelgard couldn’t. But she held to her tight all the same and let the bond she didn’t know they shared cement itself.

They stood there a long while, and she knew there would be questions and conversations and stories they could divulge in each other. Things only she, and to her knowledge, Byleth had endured that now a third had. But right now they were content to hold onto each other, and feel a little less alone.

When the moment passed, and Lysithea pulled back enough to wipe her tears away she looked up to Edelgard. She’d always thought of the student as proud. Precise. Observant.

Right now she was reminded how young she really was. No more than 15. _How old the youngest would have been… if…_

“Are… are you living on borrowed time too?” The mage finally asked, and it sent a chill through the summer night air.

Edelgard didn’t have an answer. Every breath she’d had since age 9 felt like borrowed time.

“Are you?” She asked, curious what the girls story was…

“There you two are!” Sported a familiar, though at the moment, unwelcome voice.

She turned to see Ferdinand waving as he entered into the courtyard, the rest of the Eagles with him, minus one. Dorothea, Bernadetta, Petra, and Caspar. Linhardt, she noted, had missed the campaign.

As they drew closer they saw what they had missed in the low light on their expressions. The worry, and tear lines.

“Is everything alright?” He asked now, sensing the intensity of the moment.

And the simple answer was no. Nothing was alright. But nothing was simple either. She sighed heavily. Knowing what had to be done. And had been put off long enough. She took in their faces remembering them while she still could as friends, before they were doomed to become distant.

“I have some things to tell you all. And… having us all here now, seems as good a time as any.” She saw the range from curiosity to anxiousness, and support she felt she didn’t deserve. Especially knowing she was about to lose.

“First of all… I appreciate greatly what you have all done. Showing up and defending my people in a time of need… words can never express enough thanks.” She started.

“Hey, no sweat. It’s what the Eagles do.” Caspar said with his usual enthusiasm. “Someone needed saving and someone needed punching.”

“And we all know how much Caspar enjoys punching.” Dorothea chided lightly.

Edelgard could almost smile at the memory of fighting beside him, and all her other allies. _Former allies…_ that nasty voice in her head reminded her.

“But I must tell you all the truth of the situation at hand…” Every eye turned to her with rapt attention. “Things are far more dire than they seem.”

“Edelgard, surely this is no way for the Emperor to carry themself.” Ferdinand said lightly. As a joke perhaps. “So we’ve lost Enbarr. Surely-“

“We didn’t just lose Enbarr.” She said. Her voice turning colder. To that of the leader she had prepared to be for much of her life. “We lost Adrestia.”

She saw their eyes furrow and stir, but she carried on before they could protest. Needing to get it all out.

“We lost Adrestia a long time ago. But until now… we kept the facade of power, and those that were stealing it hid in the shadows. When I went after the Professor… they decided to stop hiding.” She cleared her throat. “Because I gave them the opportunity.”

She was met with silence, as expected, but she hadn’t expected the determined look in their eyes.

“Are you the regretting over it?” Petra asked.

“Do I regret empowering them as long as I did and leaving them to run a third of the country? Yes. Do I regret going after the Professor…?” _How could she ever?_ “No… I do not. I know what they had in store for her…” She curled her fingers into a fist.

“As do I.” Lysithea added curling her fingers into her sleeves.

“Back up… when you say you lost Adrestia a long time ago… what are we talking about?” Ferdinand asked, looking anxious.

“My father… was overthrown when I was very young. By members of his cabinet.” She stared at the young Von Aegir and saw the realization hit him.

“No…” He said softly, shaking his head. “Not…”

“Yes Ferdinand. The Prime Minister and Marquis Vestra… assisted my Uncle Arundel in his coup.”

His mouth hung at the revelation, and she couldn’t remember seeing the proud noble ever look so lost for words.

“A-are… these the people that t-took Flayn too?” Bernadetta asked, putting together pieces. Edelgard nodded. Loathe of the misdeeds they’d caused right around her. _Flayn. Jeralt. Almost Byleth…_

“Yeah, that rotten Flame Emperor! Was he part of this?” Caspar asked, and she bit her lip as she considered her next words.

She took a single breath, letting the lie she’d kept the longest go.

“The Flame Emperor… was me.” She said. Byleth had freed her of the mask, but the shadow of it still clung to her like a weighted vest.

Their faces showed her the true surprise and horror she’d expected.

“That- you’re joking.” Dorothea said. Though her tone told her she already knew it was no ruse.

“I’m afraid not.” Edelgard breathed. She wouldn’t hang her head. Her path had been twisted and dark, narrow and gnarled. But she would stand by her sins. “Those shadowed forces… Those Who Slither In The Dark… did many terrible things. One of them was capturing the children of the Royal Family.”

Lysithea exhaled in a shaky understanding.

“There was once 11 of the Hresvelg children… but after what they did there was only one.” Her voice quivered, entirely without permission. “And I was now their creation. The Flame Emperor.”

A breeze blew through the courtyard, stirring fallen leaves, and only adding to the tension she was feeling, until-

“Bullshit!” Caspar yelled, an utter surprise on his face. “You’re telling me they just _got away_ with something like that?!”

“I always wondered… what had happened…” Ferdinand said softly, covering his mouth. Still looking shook to his core. “My father told me it was a terrible scandal and never to mention it. And I… I just…”

“It’s amazing what you can erase with the right resources and connections… and how quickly people will accept it when it protects the status quo.” Edelgard's words turned bitter as she remembered her reason… her fight. The fuel that had lead her to the verge of war with the central hierarchy that controlled the country so blindly.

“So, what, they took the Royal Family… and… killed them?” Caspar asked, looking aghast. He looked distraught. She knew the justice he had fought to uphold was crumbling before him.

“They did much worse than that…” She grit. “But none of that matters right now. What matters is that we are going to war.” She said seriously.

“So… you’re t-the Flame Emperor?” Bernadetta said, looking utterly terrified, and it broke Edelgard’s heart to see her timid friend look so scared of her.

“Edie…” Dorothea looked shocked, emotional…

“You were… fighting us?” Petra asked, looking pained at her understanding. “I can not be understanding this correctly."

And she could sense them recoiling from her. She was losing them. As she had always expected to.

“You have _no_ right.” Lysithea seethed, and she turned surprised to see her looking back at the Eagles with her fierce gaze. “None. To judge her actions when you don’t know what it’s _like... what they do.”_

She was surprised to have anyone defend her, and felt indebted to the young girl. But it didn’t change the truth.

“No, they’re right. I allowed myself to be their pawn, thinking I would turn the tables on them. It… was a mistake.” She had foiled her own plan when she went after Byleth.

“Does the Professor know?” Dorothea asked, still looking sickly, but digging for something.

“The Professor… is the one who saved me from them.” The irony wasn’t lost on her that she gone to them to save Byleth, but Byleth had in turn saved her. “Without her… I may still be under their thumb. My punishment was this.” She gestured to herself self-deprecatingly. “I have been stripped of my power. I am no longer their pawn, but I am also no longer on the board.”

Ferdinand was still staring off, processing. Petra looked fiercely determined, as if about to spring. Caspar’s shoulders shook. Dorothea had perhaps the saddest gaze, and Bernadetta was shielding herself behind the former singer. The reactions she’d expected... and dreaded. But it could not be helped.

“I am telling you _all of this_ because I know you can not stay. I do not expect you to come to the aide of the Flame Emperor. I am in a bind of my own creation.”

She saw Lysithea open her mouth to protest, but kept on.

“My own allowance if nothing else. I always planned to fight them one day… but that day has come sooner than expected.”

And a sudden rumble shook the ground beneath her. She saw them each stumble to catch their balance, and swap surprised glances. She looked toward the square where the sounds of screams were drifting from, and felt the panic begin to prick her skin.

“Much sooner.”

**********************************************

Byleth had found in battle that life and death were usually separated by a hair, some luck, and some bullshit. Whichever of those three guided her in that moment to grab Hubert and dive back out of the path of the relic she’d be grateful for.

She found herself on the cold ground, arm over Huberts chest as the banister they’d been leaning against splintered and shattered around them.

Her instincts kicked in yet again as she dragged him up by his robes and pressed against the back wall, sensing the air vibrating as the sword changed direction and cut back toward them.

She’d never been on the attacking end of the Sword of the Creator, but she knew it’s patterns. She heard it scrape the ground against where they’d been laying, before recoiling like a serpent.

Hubert was paler than usual. His methodical brain spinning into excess to keep up with the situation at hand. But she was already there. This was something she knew. They had seconds to react, and blood would be spilled every moment they hesitated. As she heard him wind up and unleash on the camp beneath. Screams rang out and chaos ensued.

“Hubert. Get the people out.” She said before rising and grabbing a chunk of splintered wood. One of dads many wisdoms. _Don’t go in without a weapon whenever possible._ She’d seen him battle soldiers with spoons before. This would do… though she knew this was a slightly bigger ask.

“I’ll stall.” She said gripping the rough and uneven club, and running for the edge.

_This was something she knew. She could fight. She was a weapon._

She dove off the ledge to the lower level as she watched the sudden foe winding up toward a wall of refugees, already scrambling and screaming as they tried to outrun the incoming death. She saw their fear… and lifted her club in the air, channeling her crest, finding that familiarly invasive feeling where it used to be.

She launched the splintered shard like a javelin toward his chest through the air, and the edge of his eye caught her movement. His blade (her blade) changed course to deflect and crash into the wooden spear with force, leaving a sawdust cloud that blinded his eyeline, long enough for her to land, barefoot and rolling into cover. She could buy them time. Protect the Emperor’s people as she would.

She leaned against a wooden cart that was tipped over and fractured. Catching her breath, and pushing her wet hair out of her eyes. She had to be quick. She couldn’t hide, she needed to be the mouse. Giving the predator something to chase. She just wasn’t used to being prey.

He turned vacantly in the cloud, this Ashen Look-a-Like, and summoned his sword, lashing the spiny blade toward her spot. She dove to the side and rolled up to her feet. Wincing again as she landed on sharp rubble, feeling it pierce her skin.

_Cover your feet kid. It’s the most important armor you have._

She was hearing more and more of her father’s words as she scrambled to stay alive. She hoped she wasn’t about to see him again.

In the moment, Byleth would’ve taken any armor. She had a dry shirt and wet pants and the instincts ingrained in her since youth. That’d have to be enough. She found another chunk of debris and grabbed it as she ran around the flank. The familiar hum ripped through the air and she dove forward on instinct as the cover around her was shattered and destroyed. Rocks fell down upon her and she felt one bruise her calf, while another broke the skin above her eye, wincing slightly, before pushing back up and running again.

Chunks of wall were being blown out, pillars scraped. The destruction was spreading.

She chucked the skewer toward Look-a-Likes feet, feeling a crazy idea span in her head. _That’s the best kind._ She’d remembered telling El.

He shifted back to avoid the incoming projectile as she hoped, and now he was off balance. She pressed down her crest energy and channeled it into her foot, launching herself as the projectile toward him, fist winding up in fury. She saw his eyes briefly widen as she neared and planted into the side of his head, knocking him back across the space and crashing into a wall.

She panted as she landed in a heap, catching herself on her good hand. Her foot had split again and she winced, remembering Manuela and those fucking boots she’d made her wear. _She’d get an earful if she got out of this._

If…

She heard the blade wind up and fell to her side as it split the ground she’d been standing. Briefly she saw the Ashen Look-a-Like staring back... his neck hung at an awkward, sickeningly angle, and was slowly shifting back to right. The sight was unsettling. Reminded her of Catherine... _no._ She summoned a wind spell on her hand and slammed it into the earth where she laid, kicking up the rubble to cast the area in dust, knocking out the vision, hopefully, of her perpetrator.

She could still hear people nearby and she prayed the survivors were escaping. All she could do was give the foe something to focus on. There were a few bodies already littered in the plaza. This was the reality of war… and they were at war…

The blade came ripping out again, but was now swinging wildly. No aim just destruction. And she pushed off on her knees and palms, staying low and making herself a minimal target. She managed to get to a beam and put her back to it to catch her breath. She brushed away the blood from above her eye and dusted some of the shards of wood and glass sticking to her sweat. Her foot was singing under her, but she couldn’t play docile. If she wasn’t the target he’d find another. She was tempted to light a flame spell… but there were people here…

She smelled the ash from that place... heard the men falling through to be burnt up. _Not again._

These people did not deserve that fate.

The beam she leaned against was suddenly struck and she felt a searing pain in her side, the sword of the creator slicing deep between two ribs and gouging out her side. Blood soaked through the once white shirt.

 _Shit_.

She’d been distracted. She let her back slide down the beam now missing a chunk and painted in her blood and clutched her side. Nerves screaming out as the sword retracted.

Her father had taught her chess when she was young. A travel kit sat in their pack. The pieces were various worn stones with small etchings made from a pocket knife denoting rook from bishop. But it had taught her from a young age the distinctions of strategy. How to think ahead. To take in the board.

She let her eyes dance around the slowly clearing smoke, hearing the sword preparing to unleash again and tried to find her next move. Next move. _Next move._

She had her back to a tall wooden beam, slightly wider than her shoulders and faced a solid rock wall maybe 2 yards between them. There was two floors above her in the square and several columns in each direction.

Her attacker didn’t seem clever, just.. reactive. A step up from the Ashen that had terrorized them before. He had a clear advantage in strength at the moment. Byleth would have to outthink him. Or… it. She imagined the terrors that had lead to his creation.

 _Not now._ She grit her teeth, feeling her left hand shake. _Keep it together._

She needed to misdirect him. But she needed him closer first.

She grabbed a brick from the ground and charged a wind spell in her hand. Looking straight up she saw the beam she laid against loosened from its connector and bent forward from the attack.

The dust was starting to settle. The footsteps coming closer. The sword she could hear humming... the sword she’d never quite wanted, but had definitely never wanted to face.

 _Please work_ , she thought as she put her hand low to the ground and launched the brick to her side. It shattered against the wall, drawing his attention like a bird. She heard the shift in stance as the Look-a-Like turned blankly, unleashing the attack into the wall 20 feet to her side. He left a crater in the already fragile structure, but he also left himself open. She couldn’t cross to him again, but she had something that could. She charged her crest in her fist, feeling a weariness as she pulled from this pool once again. Perhaps the crest had limits too.

Sliding around the beam, she crashed her fist into the weakened spot, feeling the skin on her knuckles tear and the bones themself crack under the pressure. She winced, and felt the vibration from the hit reverberate up her arm. The massive wooden spire slipped from its position and gravity took over, as it was heading on a crash course for the imposter. He watched the rubble coming down toward him, expression never changing, merely winding up for an attack that couldn’t get there in time-

A dark spell came rocketing from the upper tier, sending the beam crashing into the opposite direction where it rolled and thudded through the remains of the refugee camp. Shaking the earth beneath it and echoing off the stone walls.

Byleth rose, hand shaking and looked up, trying to find the perpetrator, only to see the purple mist of a warp spell appear next to the Look-a-Like.

Myson walked through, tisking his lips.

“You didn’t think it would be that easy, did you Demon?”

She didn’t have time to grit her teeth as his second spell hit her in the chest, sending her hurling through the wall behind her. Cracking bone and brick all at once. The pain hit quick and sharp. And then… left nothing behind.

**********************************************

Edelgard heard the chaos ensuing from the square and sprinted toward it, feeling a fool.

_They knew where we were. We should have moved faster._

The beast sent had been sent as a mere distraction to lure them away from the camp and buy time for their ambush. _Foolish._ Incredibly foolish to underestimate them and grow complacent. They needed to get the civilians to safety. She wouldn’t abandon her people again.

She had no weapon, her clothes were still wet. She felt the opposite of a picturesque leader in that moment. But sure enough, there were 6 sets of feet keeping pace with her. The Eagles.

They got to the outskirts of the square and saw people pouring out in mass. The damage was already severe and she didn’t yet know the cause. She saw Randolph doing his best to organize the panicked herd.

“Calmly! Calmly!” He yelled parting the mob to pull a man back to his feet before he could be trampled.

“Head to the outlook tower.” Edelgard called, coming to a stop before the group. “We will move at once. If you do not stay together, you will be left behind.”

She saw their eyes find her as she spoke. She may not have the title or the crown of the Emperor, but she didn’t need it to lead.

“If you can fight, stay. Protect your fellow man. Otherwise, move out!” She yelled pointing in the direction, seeing the group nod and begin to make ways. Mothers cradling their children. Younger men supporting the elderly as they moved. Rich and poor, strong and weak, helping each other.

Randolph broke through the group to get to her.

“Lead them. Help the injured. I will join you soon. And if you find Hubert, tell him to start evacuating.” She addressed him.  
  
“Where to? We haven’t set up our factions anywhere else yet.” Randolph asked, the weariness already settling on him.

Her mind spun. _Anywhere._ She thought, but knew they couldn’t transport hundreds of refugees being hunted by dark forces just like that. They needed a goal in mind.

“I have somewhere we could go.” Ferdinand spoke up, surprising her. Edelgard turned to him and he looked recovered from his earlier dismay. Replaced instead with utter certainty. “It is outside the Empire. They wouldn’t expect it.”

There were seconds to make a decision… and she could feel this was his way of trusting her. Her cause if nothing else. She wold choose to trust in him as well. As Byleth had taught her. She gave a curt nod.

“Go with them. Lead them well.” Edelgard told him, extending an arm that he shook once with a flash of his schoolboy smile.

“Come now Edelgard, I am Ferdinand Von Aegir, I will lead them as you would. _Perhaps_ even better.”

Normally she’d be annoyed at his competitive comments, but in that moment they felt like blessings. He was standing with her… even after he knew the truth.

He broke off with Randolph, who quickly patted Caspar’s shoulder before disappearing. She turned back to her remaining Eagles.

“You should go with them.” She said, seeing their expressions.

“Where will you be going?” Petra asked seriously, reaching for the small hunting dagger at her belt. The only weapon amongst them.

“To the square. I won’t leave anyone behind if I can help it. And…” She knew this next part to be true. “If I know our Professor, she is already there.” That thought made her throat sting. She was certain if anyone would be in the fight it would be her. She wish she hadn’t thrown her armor over the wall.

“I’m going too.” Caspar said at once. “I ain’t never run from a fight, and I’m not starting now.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but Dorothea lifted her hand to cut her off.

“Edie, we’re staying and helping you. We can argue about it later. But right now, you and Caspar need to get to the square.”

“W-where are the rest of u-us going?” Bernadetta asked, turning to her. Even Petra looked surprised.

“We need weapons. Or else we won’t be much help. And Petra, you need to get Sigurd. I don’t know if the pens will be attacked, but if we don’t get him now we may not have another chance to.”

Petra’s eyes shone with understanding and she turned the dagger in her hand, presenting the handle to Edelgard.

“She is being the right. We shall return.”

Edelgard froze. This had not been what she was expecting… support… help... camaraderie when she had revealed her betrayal. Her classmates were truly incredible, and for a moment she understood… she had underestimated them. She’d never make that mistake again.

“Thank you all.” She said taking the dagger. One dagger had changed a fight for her before, she thought briefly of the one she’d run her uncle through with. Why not again.

Dorothea turned to Lysithea.

“Lys, I didn’t want to assume, but-“

“I’m going with her.” She said with finality. Edelgard saw her hands shake at her side. She respected her determination in the face of the unknown.

Dorothea nodded.

“I had a feeling.” She said with a soft smile. She turned back to Edelgard, confidence written across her expression.

“We’ll see each other soon.” Edelgard nodded, before their group split off in different directions.

They ran toward the square, nearing in on the heart of the chaos and directing people as they found them. She prayed Hubert was on his way there. He was crucial to their escape. And she hoped whatever attack they had launched was contained at least.

They were getting closer now. Caspar skidded to a halt and turned toward a collapsed wall, having heard something. He ducked his head under the rocks to look.

“There’s someone under here. Help me lift this!” She and Lysithea came around to the other sides.

The pinned man looked too dazed to realize his position, grumbling softly in pain or confusion she wasn’t sure.

“On 3.” Edelgard said, sliding her hands under the rock. Lysithea mirrored her and nodded.

“One, two, three.” They all lifted and groaned, barely budging the massive structure. She tried to remember how to channel her cursed crest, feeling the warmth in her arms as she pulled and the vibration in her muscles. It was strange feeling it again. But, it would perhaps be the deciding factor.

The wall inched up, lifting enough for Lysithea to reach under, looping her arms beneath the mans shoulders and pulling him free.

They dropped the wall a moment after he was cleared, breathing heavy from the strain and Caspar falling back on his palms with a laugh.

“Nice Edelgard.” He said with a relieved sigh.

He had always been so reliable. Caspar was the kind of ally that wouldn’t leave a position until everyone was safe. First one to join a fight, last one to leave. A selfless fighter. She felt lucky to have him with her now.

The man was in poor condition, they couldn’t leave him here, but the crashes and clangs from the square were heightening. They needed to keep moving.

“We could help him.” She heard a soft, young voice she hadn’t before. Looking up she saw… the two children from the palace. The same ones that had already saved her once. There was dirt sticking to their faces. The young boy had tear lines, and held tightly to his sisters hand. The girl looked determined, and Edelgard nodded, helping hold the man up so she could get an arm under his shoulder. His other side was bleeding, and he hung limply as Caspar tried to help her hold him up.

“Go with them.” She told Caspar, aware the children couldn’t support him on their own. “Come back as soon as you can. _Make sure_ they get to safety.” The boy had released her hand to come closer to Edeglard, pulling on the end of her shirt. She crouched as he held up a hand to her face, that same curious expression from before. She smiled and reached out, wiping the dirt and tears from his face with her thumbs.

“Don’t loose them ok? You stay _right_ next to her.” She said in a softer tone. He nodded looking very determined with his new instructions.

“I’ll be right back, don’t start the fight without me.” Caspar said with a nod as the small group started moving.

She watched them go. _It was the little victories._ She could hear Byleth saying. _Little victories lead to larger ones._ And ultimately, reminded her how precious each life was… and that everyone was capable of surprises.

They found themselves at the wide stairs at the base of the square and Edeglard readied herself. She started climbing, not leaving time to worry about the what-ifs. Halfway up she paused and looked back to Lysithea, still standing at the base. Hand shaking again. Expression grim and far off.

“Hey…” She called out, seeing her turn her attention. “Whatever we see in there, we can handle.” She said convincingly.

Lysithea nodded, but she could sense her energy. She was afraid. Edelgard couldn’t blame her. Nothing about seeing her childhood tormenters again was going to be pleasant. And she wondered if it would be too much for the young girl…

“Well well…” As if on cue that voice, that cursed mages voice. She grit her teeth and turned to see Myson standing at the head of the stairs before them. But he wasn’t looking at her. He was peering straight into Lysithea.

“Is that our little Dandelion?” A crooked smile peeling across his face. “I thought you’d have long since perished.”

Lysithea gasped, a sad soft little breathe and clutched the front of her robes so tight Edeglard could hear the threads tearing. She took a step back and seemed to freeze.

“No… not you…” Her voice, usually so direct and certain, weak and afraid. _So afraid_. And Edelgard knew. _He’d been the one to hurt her._

“Not happy to see me little Dandelion? You remember when we started calling you that? The day your hair changed color…” He practically growled as he spoke, like a predator cornering prey. “Those wretched things grew on every inch of Hyrm. You children were the same. A wonderful source for us to pluck for experiments. Scattered to the winds, never to be missed.” He smiled, coating every inch of his target in fear as she shook in place.

“No. No no no no NO **_NOOOOOO_**!” Lysithea put her hands up to her head as she cried out and her voice distorted on the last note. Edelgard gasped as she saw the girl start to change.

Her skin was stretching and darkening... her arms and legs she could hear breaking and remorphing, her cry echoed out in a way that shred Edelgard’s heart to strips and she tried to run to her, but Myson wound up and blasted a spell where she stood. She dove to her side to evade, rolling up to her knees and cupping her hands around her mouth to call out, panicked as she saw the girl falling away to something else.

She’d heard the whispers of their research. The ‘potential side effects’ of a second crest… And she’d seen enough of Solon’s experiments to know it was real. But seeing it happen was still beyond horrifying.

The Hegemon had awoken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. Again, thank you so so much for sticking this through and I hope you’re enjoying the story.
> 
> Hegemon Lysithea is something I have wanted to play with for a long long time so get READY. THIS SHITS ENTICING.
> 
> What else what else.
> 
> Playing with Byleth’s kind of trauma to just going away and coming back even when she tries to heal I think has been really empowering in my head for her character. That’s not an overnight fix, and it’s sticking with out girl.
> 
> Edelgard’s reveal had to happen.
> 
> Hubert kind of coming around.
> 
> Lots of good groundwork for this race to the finish. I’m really excited for it all honestly.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts as always!
> 
> Thanks all, see ya soon :D


	11. Will We?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard faces a nightmare  
> Byleth faces a ghost  
> Their allies don’t allow them to do it alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL. This chap is a ride. We’re going to play with some new perspectives we haven’t before. We’re going to do some shit that canon has never (though you probably picked up on that from the last chap) and we are going to have a hell of a good time doing it.
> 
> Thanks for reading as always, see you at the end :D

**Part 11 - After Stockholm**

This was a preposterous plan. Truly, utterly, infuriatingly, senseless.

_And yet-_

Hubert found himself running around the second floor, regardless of inner objections, throwing open rooms and clearing civilians he found, on his way to the place in question.

_Idiotic._

Is how he felt in the moment as he entered the small room, empty besides a bed and _that_. That item that could so unspeakable damage, and required him to trust that… _thing_.

_Person._

His mind corrected.

Not just any person. A person that Lady Edelgard trusted and valued… _substantially._ Enough to take on the dark forces that he had spent much of his life counter-operating. The Professor had foundered in out of nowhere and somehow managed to turn everything he had _ever_ prepared for on its head.

_And yet-_

He couldn’t remember ever seeing Her Majesty so… joyous.

He grit his teeth and stepped toward the dreaded object he sought.

The dastardly false god’s weapon. The symbol of the establishment they would dismantle brick by brick. A foolish, utterly nonsensical choice he was about to make.

_And yet-_

It seemed the only course.

He breathed a sigh as he took the relic up in his hands.

The Professor needed this to stand a chance against whatever vile thing had been sent to dispatch of them.

_It was the lesser of two evils._

He assured himself.

 _Though_ … the deepest voice he heard told him what he already suspected.

The Professor wasn’t truly evil. She was genuine. She cared about Lady Edeglard almost, in a sense, as he did.

But that meant… that he may be the evil one.

He could accept that, as he ran out of the door with his choice made.

Then there was a sharp, unwarranted tingling in the back of his neck that jerked his head to the side.

Dark magic left a very specific type of tear in space. Something he’d learned early on once he’d started pursuing the art. Dipping your toes in the pool meant you were destined to feel every subsequent ripple. But this…

Whatever it was was a wave.

He arrived back in the hall and saw a figure. A shadowed version of a man he once knew. No longer Jeritza, nor Emile. It was the Death Knight.

The way his back arched and his eyes jerked from side to side. He was scanning. He smelled blood in the air.

“I sense… a worthy foe.”

This was a dangerous situation. He should shut it down. Pull him back. Tell him the riddle of the candle and attempt to satiate death and stave its blade.

_And yet-_

**********************************************

It was dark… or maybe it wasn’t. She couldn’t tell. All she knew was it hurt.

Or maybe it didn’t… she wasn’t sure she knew anything.

Shit.

But… she needed to get up…

Or maybe…

…

No. She definitely needed to get up…

She tried to focus. Tried to push… or pull. Or stand or sit.

Something.

Any damn thing. _Move._

And then everything was vivid. Over stimulating even. Smoke and present and past and future and grey. And in the grey there were eyes.

Jade eyes. Green hair. The image of a deity, painted over the armor of a Knight of Seiros. Like her father…

It was her. The her that the Church wanted her to be. That fulfilled some prophecy. That stripped away her free will and made her something greater than human. Holding the Sword of Seiros, covered in silver, and possessing enough power to suppress the heretics.

Then there were other eyes. Grey. Empty. Witnesses to thousands of deaths. The Ashen Demon. Ruthless and cunning and inventive on battlefields of all shapes and scores. Draped in damaged armor. Skin grey. World grey. Blood, sky, moon and everything… voided. The life she hadn’t chosen but been presented. The life she’d survived.

Then… a third set of eyes. Blue and cobalt and… calm. The ones she’d seen before… and followed through the halls of hope. They stared back through choppy, indigo hair. _The same as her moms_. The expression was so serene. No armor… and no scars. Simply Byleth.

There were three versions of herself staring back at her… and she felt… small.

If these were her forms of self... she pondered how she looked without them.

Without a shell to hide behind.

They walked toward her and soon enough they surrounded her, a triangle where each held a point that was equal distance from the her she was now.

She felt a flighty sensation between them. A daunting choice...

The demon would be simplest... it was what she’d known. It was non-comital. It was a survival and nothing more. No bartering for her soul, just... existing as a blade.

The vessel would be as chosen... to let others guide her like a puppet. (The word made her cringe for reasons she didn’t understand, but felt molecularly.) To bring presence to the masses and be directed. Use her power to save instead of sacrifice.

The third option... and she honed in on the gentle expression across the space, encompassed her insight in cerulean. That would be the hardest choice. To live with the knowledge of the others... and deny them. To be human. To be Byleth...

To be herself.

She walked through the space an unnamed number of steps toward the blue eyed figure until she stood directly before her.

Perhaps one day she could be this again. And only this. For now… she knew what it meant. She knew who she had to be. She was all of these pieces. She couldn’t deny them, couldn’t hide from them. She’d embraced many things, but she was a holy weapon built by many travesties and sins. And right now… she could use that. To save people.

 _Her_ people.

She stepped through the Blue-Haired figure and settled into her essence. The grey was a little less dark…

She turned to see the Ashen and Vessel figures come to stand at her side. She was a culmination of what had been done to her... just as Edeglard was. And she could use it... just as her former student did.

The grey was brighter, and now there was a light. A way to go. She approached, slowly first, but picked up speed. Running toward this new path. Her chosen path. And she saw them running alongside her.

She was a walking contradiction. The Vessel of the Goddess by birth, the Ashen Demon to her enemies. Heaven and hell on earth, salvation and damnation, and inside all of it. She was Byleth. A teacher. A friend. A…

Her vision turned lilac.

A person capable of great love and great sacrifice. And she was going to prove it to someone who had shown her both. Who had taught her acceptance.

Her eyes flickered open as she felt her forms converging on the light.

Everything hurt. She tasted blood. And she was being crushed under a pile of bricks. She couldn’t push off of her right leg, it wobbled and shook beneath her. Her side was still oozing, half dried and clinging to the threads of her white shirt.

With a groan, and all of the strength she could muster, she pushed up from under the rubble, clearing it off of her as sweat and blood beaded into her eyes.

 _I’m not… done yet._ For her… she could sacrifice.

She saw double as she finally stood straight, vision chasing light and coming up bleary. The telltale signs of a concussion. A ringing in her ears, blood already clotting along the back of her head. Sparks and frazzles of light sprinkled through the world around her.

Something purple spun through the air before her… _shit._

A warp spell. She could barely keep it in her gaze as tried to ready herself for whatever came through. What she wasn’t expecting was Hubert, hopping through the portal, looking flustered and clutching something silver. Before she could react to that he was summoning a second spell behind her and diving through, pulling her with him.

 _Wonder when he learned to do that._ She thought briefly as she felt the nauseous rip in time before landing on the carpeted ground outside in the atrium again. She could still hear the battle going as her feet hit the ground, her back swiftly following, though Hubert caught her, slowing her fall.

“Easy.” He said, stern, but caring.

“Hu…ber…” She muttered, feeling the world bleeding together.

“We need more time. Can you fight?”

Byleth nodded, sort of. She could always fight. She tried to get back to her feet, but could barely do so with her one good leg. He grabbed her arm to support her and drag her up the rest of the way.

“I appreciate your gumption, but coordination is required.” He studied her and silently lifted a hand up to the side of her head. She felt the ringing quiet… the fog clearing. His hand was glowing and his teeth grit and she felt something she hadn’t in a long time… clarity.

There was one path. And she was taking it.

“Thank you Hubert. I didn’t know dark magic could heal.” She turned to him, and suddenly saw the whites of his eyes flutter.

“It… can…not. Merely… trans _ffffers_.” He said as his legs shook. Byleth caught him, leaning him against the wall. He’d taken some of her pain… that was no small thing. And now he looked like he couldn’t recall which way was up.

Byleth slipped him into a seated position, trying to think of where to safely put him, but he was pressing whatever had been in his arms back into her hands. Only now did she recognize the infernal thing.

“Why do you have that?” Byleth asked, squinting at the symbol of the Church. The Sword of Seiros.

“You _need_ it _.”_ His eyes were struggling to focus. “To win.”

Byleth’s hand twitched as it reached for the handle and she stared at the curved and twisted blade. It represented something she did not. But her logic told her a relic to a relic stood a much better chance.

“And you would trust me with this?” She asked intently, remembering his earlier interrogation.

“Don’t have… much choice.” He blinked rapidly as if trying to center himself, then stared, realizing she was hesitant to take it. He sighed. “You are… the only way.”

His trust was also no small thing. He had come to the conclusion he believed rational, putting aside emotion, suspicions, and layers. She wanted to be deserving of his trust. She wrapped her fingers around the sword’s hilt and felt the drum of its power. Something she didn’t want to rely on, but on some level… related to. They were both holy weapons.

Hubert still looked dazed, she was remorse to leave him.

“The effects are… temporary. I will be fine.” He perceived her thoughts even without her voicing them, then wave his hand as if to shoo her. “Go get him.”

That reminded her. _Where was he-_

The building shook in a crashing rumble.

“What is that?”

“Death Knight… fighting.” He slurred, his head tilting back against the wall.

“That seems like a terrible idea.” She could already imagine their unhinged battle.

Hubert shrugged nonchalantly.

“Admittedly.”

She rose, gripping the blade, feeling the pains in her body and pushing them aside. Because she could still fight. As long as she drew air.

“That’s the best kind.”

**********************************************

_These fools._

Shamir thought fondly, as she had descended the stairs that night, passing Edelgard in the hall and pointing her toward where Byleth sat.

They really were infatuated with each other. It would take a blind man not to see it. And while she may be crippled, she was not blind. It also made it painfully aware that she had some things to attend to of a sentimental nature.

 _Sigh_. The worst kind of business... affairs of the heart.

But she wanted… _needed_ to clear the air with one General of the Empire.

It didn’t take long to locate her in the heart of the barracks, directing a troop of guards in the late hours of the night.

 _Typical._ Of course she was. She’d always been utterly devoted to her work. Not for sense of obligation like Shamir. But for sense of pride, and Shamir had found that was a trait she admired. Envied even.

Ladislava noticed her appear and smiled. Even after how things had ended... she still smiled at her. Without an ounce of sarcasm or depravity or pain. She looked… genuine. And that made the less-familiar feeling of something soft and gentle bloom in the archer’s chest. She smiled back.

 _God, one day around those two and I’m turning soft_. She thought as Ladi dismissed her troops and broke off toward her.

“Well hey there stranger. Didn’t expect you to see you in these parts.” Ladi said, a slight smirk under genuine appreciation. Shamir smirked back, just a little.

“I know the types you deal with. They’re dull. Thought you might enjoy the change in company.”

“And… you’re not dull?” Ladislava challenged back. Shamir rolled her eyes, and she chuckled lightly back. “You know I kid Shammy. For all the things you are, dull has never been one of them.”

They found themselves in a more secluded spot after a brief walk. Past the bunkers and platoons near a tall, hanging willow tree. Shamir leaned against the wall, one leg up behind her to brace herself. She was the one who had come seeking the audience, but now that she had her with her… she didn’t know what to start with.

_I’m sorry?_

_I’ve missed you?_

_I never thought I’d see you again?_

Ladislava stood before her expectantly, but not pressing. That soft smirk on her hard features.

“I… was really surprised to see you.” Shamir finally managed.

“I imagine. It’s been, what, 4 years?”

“Something like that… and you made General in that time? That’s rather impressive.”

She crossed her arms with a slight sass.

“You sound surprised. I worked hard, like I said I would, and kept on my work ethic. This was what came of it.”

Shamir smirked now.

“You always had a way of thinking things would just work out.” She didn’t mean it as a slight. She really admired that state of mind. It was the opposite to her own, which depending who you asked was pessimistic or realistic.

“You always had a way of being difficult.” Ladi said back with a challenging smile that Shamir returned.

“To some.” Shamir said.

“To most.”

“And yet, you kept me around anyway.” Shamir thought back to their time together, cleaning up the streets of Boramas. “You probably should’ve gotten the memo that most of your troops hated me.”

“Oh I did, quite a few times. Naturally I ignored them.” Ladi returned.

“You always did give people too many chances.” She said softly.

“You always gave them too few.” Ladi said equally soft.

“Archer’s only get one shot.” They’d always approached things like this systematically opposed, and she wanted to try and explain herself. Maybe it wasn’t the root but maybe it was close.

“Oh so you hit everything on the first try?” Ladislava countered playfully.

“Ideally. If not things get… bad.” Shamir said more pensively.

“How so?”

“Not bad for us… we’re not usually on the front lines. Anytime I miss… it means an ally is exposed. Archer’s keep their distance.”

“Well I know how good you are at keeping your distance.” She said with an empty smile aimed off in space. Shamir felt that. Like a brick to the face.

“Ladi… I’m…”

“No, I know… I know.” Ladi stepped forward and gently laid an arm on her bad shoulder. “We were both in a bad place then. I don’t blame you. I’m just hoping… you’ll stay closer this time.” She said the last bit with such warmth. And Shamir wanted to. She wanted... to be close again. Being with the princess and seeing her let people in... reminded her how good it felt to. And how lonely it was when you were in the business of being continually shut off.

Shamir turned to look in those usually righteous eyes. Eyes that she’d seen on long nights, judging her, condemning her, but there was none of that when faced with her again. There was apprehension and wonder and a simple offer. One she wanted to take.

So she did.

She reached up with her good arm, cupped her chin between two fingers, the way she used to, and leaned in slowly. Ladi didn’t let her wait, leaning back to meet her.

The kiss was quick enough. Nothing languid or showy. But a starting point. When she pulled back she found the both of them were smiling, like the gap between them had been bridged. And she believed for the first time, that it could be different this go-around. She wanted it to be different.

“You sure about dragging a one-armed archer into your revolution?” She teased.

“I count two arms. And your worth is greater than the arrows you would string.” Ladi said, reaching a hand up to cup her cheek in turn, running fingers through the shorter side of her hair. She sighed gently in their rekindled closeness. “You know me well enough that my duty will always come first... I am but a humble servant of a greater cause. Can you stand by that... _this_ time?”

That was the real question wasn’t it? Could Shamir get behind something bigger than herself? Every time she had in the past it bit her in the ass, and she got good at looking out for the only person she could count on. Herself. But Ladi saw more in her then the renegade she looked at in the mirror...

“If it means standing by her highness as she takes on the entire country... then yeah, I think I could. Sounds fun.” She saw the way Ladi’s lips curled at the corners. Hopeful. “You know I love a good underdog story.”

“You’re just too smart to bet on one.” Ladi chuckled.

“Usually. But maybe this isn’t about brains.” That earned her another smile, and Ladi leaned in again as if to place another kiss...

Then there was an eruption. Something cratering and shaking the world from inside the complex.

Her instincts honed in. She felt a phantom itch in her immobile arm, as if it wished to draw.

“Trouble.” She said as Ladi’s hand fell away and she stepped toward the sound, eyes shinning with purpose masquerading her panic.

“Big trouble.” The General muttered. And they started running toward the commotion. She saw Ladi look over her shoulder as if to check if she was there. This was the first real test of joining the resistance. Something that had never really played out in Shamir’s favor.

But she was standing by it this time. She always paid her debts… and right now she owed the would-be Emperor; her fellow survivor; the person that made the Ashen Demon smile. (No small feat.)

They neared the square, the obvious striking point, to find people scattering in all directions. Ladislava directed through the frenzy as best she could.

“Be heading toward the outlook tower!” Came a voice from around the bend. It was one of the kids... Eisner’s students. The fidgety archer and the performing mage in tow behind the Brigid princess. “That is being the meeting point!” She pointed toward the structure in the distance.

“You heard her!” Ladislava echoed. “Outlook tower. Move carefully, but quickly!

Watching families and young and old all scramble by to safety... for a moment Shamir thought she was back in the war… _This was just like then…_

The last war had cost her so much. And she was about to dive into another…

“ _Shamir!_ ” She heard Ladi call out and shook her head of it, coming back to the moment. There was a question in those eyes.

_‘You good?’_

She nodded to reassure before turning back to the students who had come, half out of breath to stop before her.

“You. Where’s-“

“Edelgard is in the square.” The mage responded. “Randolph was leading the civilians to the outlook tower. There’s an attack, but… we don’t know what yet.” She bit her lip for a brief moment. “We need to get to the weapons locker or they won’t stand a chance.”

“Tshhh.” Ladi grit her teeth and exhaled. “This is not good timing. I need to get there and see what’s happening. And I need to deploy the troops.” She turned back to Shamir and the students, conflicted.

“Then go.” Shamir said without pause. “We’ll get the arms (oh, the irony) to Her Majesty. She’ll be fine.” She gave her as confident a look as she could. She would come through for her… this time.

Ladislava nodded.

“You better. And-“ She pointed her way, fierce look in her eye. “Take care of yourself.”

Shamir flashed a thin smile and Ladi disappeared. She watched the sway of her cape and listened to the clink of her metal. Always light on her feet. She turned back to the group of three.

“Alright, the weapons. I know where they are.”

“And we need to go to the stables!” Dorothea added.

“The- _why?_ ” Shamir asked, squinting.

“Sigurd, my Wyvern, is being the there.” Petra put a hand over her heart. “I need to be getting him.”

Shamir sighed.

“Of course those are in two different places.”

“We can be the splitting up.” Petra said, determined. “You all must be getting back to Edelgard.”

“And send you across this active war zone _alone_? I don’t think so!” Dorothea protested immediately.

“The two of you go to the stables.” Shamir made the call. “You-“ She pointed at the purple haired girl who looked like she was about to cry. Not necessarily her first choice. “You’re with me. We’re going to the weapons locker.” Her eyes darted back and forth like a rabbit, before eventually nodding something sharp and short. _Good enough._

Shamir threw open the locker at the gate. The sounds and thuds had started growing and spreading. Her little helper, Bernadetta, she remembered her name being was looking paler and paler. She couldn’t worry about it though. She started loading every steel and iron weapon they had into her arms.

Her fingers grazed a bow and she froze, feeling a pain and that same phantom itch. Her trigger finger begged to string an arrow... but she was far from that. Her arm was racked with pain and numbness in equal bouts. It’d be a miracle if she ever shot one again...

“Bow?” She turned over her shoulder toward the girl who looked surprised and scared.

“W-what?” She stammered.

“You use a bow, no?” She repeated.

“Oh! N-no, I mean yes! Yes-s.”

Shamir grunted in response as she draped the string over the girls shoulder.

“You always this nervous?” She asked, gauging the young archer Eisner had been so proud and protective of.

“N-no! I mean, y-yes... I don’t know!” Bernadetta shifted her gaze. “Usually I have my classmates-s and the Professor... but...”

“But what? You have them now don’t you?”

“But the last time... I-I lost them.” She hunched her shoulders and this time tears did actually well up. “Wh-what if I lose th-them again?”

 _Shit that’s right_. Shamir remembered the report. _She’d been there when it happened..._

Shamir paused before reaching over to place a hand on the girls shoulder, pulling her back from her spiral.

“And what if you’re the one that saves them?”

Her eyes sparkled in emotion and she nodded, wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve.

“We all miss shots. But the ones we make are even more important.” She held up the dagger she’d taken. “And we are worth more than the arrows we string.” Using Ladi’s words so soon... how appropriate. With a flick she jammed the blade between the door of a locker she didn’t have a key to, sliding it between the frame until she heard the satisfying click, unlocking it. Behind lay a massive axe carved to look like a relic, but one she’d damn well never heard of.

 _Aymr,_ she thought Hubert had called it.

She turned back to the girl, who was looking more tense but in a good way?

“But we’re gonna go string _a lot_ of arrows anyway.”

**********************************************

The Hegemon exceeded every one of Edeglard’s worst fantasies. It was massive, the stairs cracking under her elongated hands that could’ve swallowed a man whole. Black ripcord muscles, expanding and covering the entirety of her. Her shoulders grew out in spiked masses that could’ve been feathers in the low light. Her back grew what may have been wings, though they looked more intimidating than functional. Her legs had grown long, and were coated in some kind of husk shape with indents and grooves resembling chainmail. And behind her head, a large structure that almost looked like a beast’s jaw, coated in fangs, gave the backdrop to the only features that still resembled the human from before.

The girl’s face turned up and her screams had died down to deep hums, several octaves lower than she had ever sounded, she saw that even there she had not been spared. Patches of the black mutation had grow across her cheeks and neck. Her eyes… sullen black where was once white… and piercing… glowing purple irises in the middle giving her the appearance of an empty socket…

Horrifying was the first word that came to mind. Tragic the second. And further words and strategy alluded Edelgard as she came face to face with the doomed future she’d seen for herself countless times in her nightmares.

But actually seeing it… seeing it forced upon the only other one she’d known to walk away… it ripped the warmth from her body and left her pinned in place.

“Stunning…” Myson said with bated breath from the top of the stairs. “Simply stunning.” The wicked smile on his lips snapped Edeglard from her terror long enough to feel her fury.

“ _You…_ ” She said, her anger swelling and directing itself. “What did you _do_ Myson?”

“I assure you, this is a rather pleasant surprise. I didn’t wiggle my nose or tap my heels to make this happen.” Myson sneered in his self assured way. “Solon may have been a fool, but at least not all of his efforts were a waste. Speaking of…” He waved his hand a moment later, summoning a portal behind him of purple smoke, and lurching out came _more of those things._

“Ta-ta for now Dandelion.” He said with another sinister smile directed at Lysithea before disappearing through the very portal he’d made as waves of the Ashen poured out.

She reached for the dagger Petra had given her as the enemies barreled toward her, knowing she was outnumbered, but feeling her bigger concern sprout.

“ _Lysithea!_ ” She yelled turning toward her friend as the Ashen swarmed her.

She awkwardly lifted one of her arms in an attempt to shield herself as the grey forms neared in, stabbing downward into her leathery flesh with their cursed weapons. She cried out immediately, flailing out her arm, though it almost happened in slow motion, sending them flying and crashing across the stairs, some splattering into grey heaps, or only partials of them left.

Edelgard was pulled back to the moment as one of them hissed, lunging for her neck. Her instincts kept her a step away from the death blow and she kicked out at its footing, watching it collapse forward as three more took its place. She deflected and dogged them with ease, but her attention was taken as she heard Lysithea call out again in her rumbled snarl. She looked panicked as more neared in on her. Wild eyed and distressed.

“ ** _GeT awAY._** ” Her voice was uneven and broken. She swung again, this time her hand glowing with purple and a massive amount of energy shook the stairs. The ones that were touched by her magic incinerated instantly into ash, and Edelgard dove back down the staircase as more debris was broken free.

“Lysithea, stop!” She called out. She’d bring down the entire square if she wasn’t careful, killing anyone left inside.

But her pleas fell on deaf ears. She watched the Hegemon groan and rise to its full height. Several stories. Her legs appeared more for show, unable to carry her full weight, but she began to levitate above the ground. The air was static, electricity and particles of dust swirling and the Hegemon held her arm up, a massive ball of energy swarming around her.

Edelgard realized what was going to happen, too late to stop it, and turned to run.

“ ** _nEveR AgAIN!_** ” She bellowed, crashing down the ball of energy into the stairs and obliterating the Ashen foes. The support buildings to the side shook and collapsed. The chunk of wall up the stairs shattered like glass and for a moment its collapse was all Edelgard could hear. All she could feel. The fall of it shrouded everything in beige dust. She coughed. She sputtered. She felt it vibrate up through the ground and the air all around her into every one of her bones. She was knocked to the ground by the sheer force and held her arms up over her head, trying to block the worst of the debris from crushing her.

As the shaking slowed and the dust cleared enough for her to open her eyes a fraction she saw the Hegemon rise, panting amongst the fog and look… scared. She looked terrified. She could read it from here in her recoil at her own self. She turned and disappeared. Floating away through the cloud of debris and destruction.

“Lysithea, wait!” She cried out, over a fit of coughs. She followed in the trail of her wake, her face half buried in her elbow shielding from the worst of it. There may have still been Ashen, or enemies, or Myson, or a litany of things, but she didn’t have the thoughts for it. She needed to follow her. To help her. To save her.

That was the only conclusion. The only thing that mattered.

She wasn’t losing anyone else to them.

**********************************************

It didn’t take Byleth long to find Look-a-like and their challenger, the Death Knight. They were crashing through the atrium Hubert had sprung her from, and Byleth limped up to the half fallen ledge of the upper hallway to peer down. Jeritza himself was more vacant than intimidating, but when he was in his alter ego (a change she worried he had little to no say in) he was downright blood chilling. It was his lips and his eyes… the things so vacant were fine-tuned to that of a hawk, with more than adrenaline, excitement coursing through them.

The lips were peeled into a painted on smile. Something that showed teeth, even as there was blood dripping from a gash in his forehead and across one arm. He could have been on fire and she didn’t think he’d notice. He was too engulfed in his opponent. He held his sickle pointed at the other as death himself, practically vibrating with anticipation, and launched forward again.

The Ashen Look-a-like lifted the Sword of the Creator between them, bracing the slice with a barren look, but not able to hold back the sheer force of the attack. The sickle pressed past his defense into its shoulder, tearing through the equivalent of flesh and coming out the other side. There was no flinch of pain, merely a wind up that flung Jeritza back like a rag doll, sending him flying and skidding across the floor.

After bouncing once, twice, Death Knight’s blade stabbed into the pavement, screeching him to a halt and he righted his body, that same mad expression as if his ribs hadn’t been cracked on impact, ready for another bout.

The Ashen’s shoulder fizzled in grey dust before reforming and returned to its full form, unscathed.

“Incredible, isn’t it?”

Byleth wheeled around, recognizing the voice instantly. Myson was across from her on the other half of the hall that was still intact. His arms were behind his back. He wasn’t the least bit afraid of her right now. So self assured in his upper hand. She gripped the handle of Seiros’ blade even tighter against her side, out of his eyeline. While she was tempted to launch herself toward him she’d be exposed, and right now… he wasn’t here to end her… he was here to gloat. Of all of the shadowed villains, he was the one that enjoyed the sound of his own voice the most.

“What you can do with a few hundred viles of tainted blood from an unwilling participant.” His eyes were still obscured by his stupid looking hat, but his smile was so irritatingly proud. She tilted her head instead, knowing she could learn more from him if she played along.

“You see…” He continued. “When you’d escaped, you left something behind, didn’t you?”

_The Sword…_

She heard it unwind its spine and slash like a serpent. It wound around Death Knight’s scythe as it blocked its path, but it didn’t budge from there. Death’s grip was true as the attack, and both fighters were rendered in a deadlock.

“And while Solon was attempting many things with your blood, the most useful was his research to create a surrogate that could wield the blade after your… _abandonment._ ”

_A vessel._

“With only your blood and dark magic, we made those _fodder_ you’ve fought before. Hardly a success, but proven rather useful.” He looked so proud she could puke. “But, to attain a true conduit for the weapon we found what we were missing. A body.” He smiled sinisterly. “A human body to course your blood through. And it _worked_.”

Byleth grit her teeth tighter. _These fuckers… the lengths they would go..._

“Many cadavers later, we found one that did.”

 _Progenitor God…_ She thought bitterly, imaging the list of names… the failed attempts.She gripped the handle of the sword, sensing the end of the thread and readying for what was next.

“And now… Fell Star,” He said almost mockingly. “We have no need for you.”

He lifted his hand and charged a spell on the palm, pointing it her direction, and she sprung.

His smile fell momentarily as he saw the relic she’d thrown come darting toward him. Was it silly to keep hurling these highly coveted weapons like common stones at this exhaustible magician? _Absolutely._ But it worked.

He ducked out of the way, as she predicted, and unleashed the charged spell at the spot Byleth had been standing. _Too slow_. She had crossed the space, and come landing on his half of the hall, rolling forward (wincing at her bad leg) and popping up to stand before him with a fist balled and uncoiled into his chest. He went flying back on impact. Smashing his delicate little clavicle in the process. She kept forward as his body skidded across the pavement and recovered the Sword of Seiros, turning to point it toward him as he coughed up blood from his spot on the floor.

“Y-you missed one detail.” He said through a fit of coughs, smiling with red trickling down his lip. She wheeled around quick to see where his spell had landed was a warp portal, and through it… more of _them_. Ashen. Pouring out with their animalistic smiles and empty eyes.

 _Shit._ They dove down toward the battle below, where both fighters were still locked in a stalemate. But Death Knight didn’t even notice their approach. They were too hyper-focused on the enemy before them to think of anything peripheral. Byleth reacted for them.

She turned and leapt off of the ledge, following after. She winced again on the landing, feeling her battered leg shift further wrong and pushing past it, sliding into battle stance easily and joining their fray.

Byleth parried and sliced her way through the Ashen flesh, spattering them into clouds and hearing their final hisses echo out. She slashed through ones chest, ducked under a blade, felt herself moving slower and overcompensated with a wider swing knocking three heads off at once. Watching the mirror version of herself become decapitated was certainly a strange sensation.

When she easily made work of another and another, dismembering them in a single slash she was remorseful to admit the ease of the blade. Using a tool of theirs felt forbidden but when between life and death it was hard to complain about an upper hand.

She heard Death Knight’s grunt of exertion as his grip was finally bested, the Look-a-like pulling the weapon free from his knuckles, but he wasted no time sprinting toward his assailant, who was still mid swing. He tried to recover as he threw Death Knight’s scythe across the room and react as the maniacal man came closer, but by a paper thin margin Death beat him there, his fingers coming to grip around his neck and lift him up into the air. Byleth had always thought the red of his eyes had been a trick of his helmet, but she knew now… it was just him.

“Finally… a worthy adversary…” He panted, gripping his other hand to the mans wrist, pinning his sword arm. The expression on Look-a-like’s charcoal features never faltered and he looked placid almost at the assailant that held him captive. He lifted his own arm in turn and grabbed Death’s forearm and squeezed. Enough for Byleth to hear bones creaking and splintering. But Death did not flinch, he merely laughed.

Byleth ran toward them as she saw Jeritza’s arm start to crack and Look-a-like tuck his knees in, kicking out into his chest to break his hold, sliding the madman onto his back as he continued to laugh, collapsing with his arm bending at a point it shouldn’t. The Ashen, back on his feet, straightened up for another blow, and she was sure it would be fatal.

She pushed for more, a minuscule window open for her to make a difference, sword arm swinging forward on instinct and sparks flying off the two relics as they met.

Her body slid between the fallen man as a shield, who still laughed (maybe it was shock) from his heap as he pushed up off the floor with his intact arm.

“This kill belongs to me and me alone. And if I can not have it, I shall enjoy my end at his blade.” Those glowing eyes, that curled smile.

“Live to fight another day. This will not be a fair fight.” She said sternly over her shoulder, not taking her eyes off the Look-a-like, who was now staring at her and her new blade, analysing. He tilted his head to the side in a way that she recognized as her own… and partly hated for the idea that they could take even that from her.

“Fight’s are not meant to be fair. Only to the end.” He said, glowering. Her eyes darted quickly to the group of Ashen still filing out of the warp portal. She grit her teeth. _How could she protect her unstable ally while fending off both sides_?

“Then I’m ending it. Or, more accurately, they are.” She nodded toward the incoming shadows gathering in force with their daggers and he squinted toward them.

“Yes, they will be a nuisance.” The glow in his eyes dimmed ever so slightly, and she heard the Sword of the Creator hum again, prepping for an attack.

“Get to your weapon.” She yelled as she turned and deflected on instinct, bones vibrating from the impact of the block. She wound her blade into a strike like a club to defer the sword crashing into the Ashen that had neared, and headed in closer to engage the Look-a-like. She had to trust Death to listen. She prayed he did, as her senses had to focus on the fiend before her.

The blade recoiled and deflected her next blow as a solid sword once more. She felt light in the head still from her earlier wounds. Her footwork was slowed with one busted limb. Her enemy was _strong._ Annoyingly so.

Her earlier strategy had been bait. Quick, distant, rapid. Now she had to engage him. Disarm him. _Hopefully, defeat him._

She sidestepped as she heard an Ashen stab through the air behind her and skewered them on the tip of her sword, exploding it into a cascade of grey confetti, before bracing for another attack from Look-a-like, just barely catching it as the blade came down hard on the flat side of her own. It pressed the edges into her chest as her back hit the pavement. She grit her teeth.

_Shit._

She was really off her game. She bent in her elbows, letting him closer before wrapping a leg around the back of his knee and rolling all her weight off, pushing him off and knocking him back. There wasn’t even time to cough. A dagger came down a second later into her shoulder and she groaned as she charged a wind spell in a hurry and blasted the closest Ashen back. The dagger was still stuck in her as she rose, just in time to block the next swipe from Look-a-like.

_Double shit._

This was getting bad. She could barely get a foot down, get into a fraction of a stance before she was playing defense again. An Ashen sprung and she only had enough time to duck under its blade and throw it over her shoulder. Grimacing as it pushed the cursed blade further, and pulling it out herself as a fresh stream of crimson greeted her. She turned with the dagger, drenched in her blood, and stabbed it down into the foe on the floor, spattering it in an echoed hiss and ashes.

She wheeled back as she heard the tell tale sign of the Sword- _shit, too late._ She braced herself for the impact. But it never came. A scythe came down between them, over the extended relics blade and smashing it from the air. Death was back on her side.

Look-a-like’s eyes darted to the man before he hopped back, retracting the blade and _running up the side of the wall?_

Byleth had seen a lot of crazy shit today, but that took the cake for the time being. He stood beside Myson, who had only just now seemed to recover from Byleth’s earlier attack.

“A satisfactory trial Berith.” He said, trying to sound tough, but still with smeared blood on his lip and a hand over his no doubt cracked ribs. “I believe that is all the time he can spare. He is needed elsewhere.” The mage summoned another warp portal (with a shaking arm, Byleth took pride in that) and the Ashen Look-a-like walked through, disappearing.

“And as for you, you should know how feeble-“ His sentence was interrupted by an earth-shattering wail. Literally, earth-shattering. The ground split between them, the far wall to her side shook and glowed from some power that lay just beyond it. And then there was that moment… that second when you can feel in the air something terrible is about to happen.

And then it did.

The wall fractured while intact. Nothing like you’d expect. As if every brick has suddenly been cracked and crumpled. And destroyed while stacked… then blasted toward them like a wave on an angry sea. The force of it almost knocked Byleth back.

“That cursed _thing_.” Myson muttered, before turning tail and leaving his insult unfinished as he retreated into the closing portal.

 _Thing?_ Byleth wondered. She’d have to figure that out later… right now she needed to avoid being crushed by a building. She thought she felt a faint memory of something similar in a past life and grimaced. _Let’s avoid a repeat_.

**********************************************

Edelgard chased the shadowed colossal through the darkness of uncertainty. It felt like one of her nightmares. Chasing after something that was never to be returned. Someone destined to be lost to her.

_Not this time._

The Hegemon was surprisingly fast. She couldn’t seem to gain on it as it crossed into the less populous buildings toward the back of the facility. But catching her was only half the problem. She seemed unstable (understandably so) and was incredibly powerful. She was a liability, in the most calculated of senses. But more than that… she was a scared girl who was hurt beyond measure and all Edeglard could think about was reaching her beyond the husk that housed Lysithea.

“HALT!” She heard a righteous yell and a scramble as a small battalion appeared, lead by _Ladislava-_

 _They won’t understand._ Edeglard realized horridly as they neared in, make shift weapons drawn on their wrongful foe.

The Hegemon did not halt, still trying to fade away entirely, and the aura of it… the feel of transfigured abomination and dread of ones self was so achingly familiar and unpleasant it would have buckled the knees of a weaker person.

Edelgard could see the meetings after her prescribed ascension. Once she’d become the Flame Emperor and dawned their power she’d had to be passive, presentable party to be trophied between different factions and groups about the legacy she would one day carry. The power they had shaped her with. These whispers of her potential and the effects of her blood transfusion. How they’d unlocked her true potential of power. And if it was this… all they’d done was discard humanity. Something they were keen on doing and Edelgard _undoing_.

“Stop!” She tried to yell as she closed in, but they were too distracted by the apparent monster before them to hear her.

That’s all they could see. All that was left...

No, she refused to let her mind wander there.

The men took up their arms, throwing spears and axes, trying to hurt from a distance, and earning the ire of the Hegemon.

She cried out as they grazed and dug into the arm she held up to shield herself, black blood seeping even in the dark of the night and her cries turning sharp.

She thrashed out once, limply, with her wide arm, and Edelagrd saw those purple eyes glowing again, but with a sadness that hadn’t been there before. A deep deep sadness.

“ **STOP!** ” Edelgard commanded as she drew close enough to put herself between them. She stood with her arms spread, panting as the soldiers scurried back to their feet, others lifting their wounded comrades out of potential harm.

“Your Majesty?” Ladislava sounded confused, wielding a lance herself, and lowering it immediately as she was faced with her liege. “What-“

“Don’t. Hurt. Her.” Edelgard grit. It was a protective nature like no other. It reminded her how she felt when they had stricken Byleth in that place. When the saw had been used or the blood stolen. But this went to a different place. This was a child of faux blood, cursed to the same deviated lineage as herself. It was someone without parallel beyond herself… and that was more than she’d ever thought she’d have.

She could feel her eyes on her back. And she knew, _she knew,_ she was still in there. If she wasn’t… she would have already taken advantage of Edelgard giving her back. She’d have obliterated these men like the ashen of before.

Instead, she heard her slump away around the corner of another building, gurgles and groans and sounds of conflict resonating around them, until she had retracted further into the shadows. Away from the violence. She saw the troops attempt to follow but Ladi commanded them with a single fist.

“Hold.”

Edelgard kept her gaze on her General. Her eyes held question and uncertainty... as if waiting for an explanation.

One Edelgard wasn’t ready to give. Instead she went with, “Get your troops to the outlook, provide search and rescue. I will meet you there soon.”

Ladi’s eyes followed after the beast and after a long pause she finally nodded with the practiced form of someone devoted and dutiful.

“As you command. Be _careful_.” She took a few steps back before turning over her shoulder and calling out with a wave to her rag tag group. “Move out.”

A few looked reluctant, but it spoke to the effect she had on her troops that the men and women followed regardless of their own uncertainty.

Edeglard turned over her shoulder. She could still hear the heavy breathing and hum of rippling energy coming off Lysithea. Still close by.

She came around the corner and saw that she had collapsed against the wall behind a cluster of trees that mostly obscured her. The girl clutched her elongated arm, still shimmering with blood, against her chest and panted.

Edelgard approached slowly. One step at a time as to not alarm her.

“ _Stay back_.” The voice drawled in a deep, inhumane hum. But beneath it... was something very human. Something scared and small and gentle that was begging for help, even as she tried to turn it away.

“Lysithea...” She paused. “I’m not going to hurt you. I wont let anyone hurt you again.”

“ _You can’t..._ ” The voice said sadly. “ _They wont..._ ”

She didn’t seem to have the same anger as before or the same energy. She looked wilted. Slouched and trying to vanish though it was practically impossible given her current state and size. But there was a fight. A twitch in her that longed to unleash. It’d be so easy... to turn her given power on its head.

“ _They don’t understand_.” She eventually sighed with effort.

“We’ll make them.”

“ _I’m a monster._ ” The voice drawled.

“You’re not.” Edelgard said, almost sternly. Not at her, but at the world that would harm her. “You are _far_ from a monster.” Her voice trembled slightly from the exertion. Her throat suddenly felt tight and cold.

She saw the eyes again turning toward her looking wounded, and desperate and at the end of a very long rope bound by many, many trials. Many voices screaming to be heard. But Edeglard could rise above all of them.

“You are a student. You are a fighter. You are a survivor.” Her voice shook and she felt her own words as almost liberating, almost cathartic.

“You are strong. You’ve been so strong... for so long. And it doesn’t come from your anger. Or your pain... you’d think it would. They would have you believe it did. But it doesn’t. It comes from your spirit. From who and what you really care for. You are not just strong... you are _stronger_ than them.”

Her voice trembled and broke now and she felt tears escape her eyes, not remembering when she gave them permission to do so.

“You are a victim.” Her voice broke now as she knew her words were speaking to more than the Leicester mage’s past. “What they did to you was beyond cruel and unforgivable. But it does NOT define you.”

She came closer and saw that hatred and turmoil and wrath and fear dissipate in those humming eyes. They softened incredibly to those of a hurt soul. A wounded child.

“They took so much... but you’re still here. _We_ are still here. And I will not leave you behind.” She came to stand in front of the girl now, separated by leaves and shadows and outstretching a hand in a silent plead. An offer and a bargain and one fraction short of a beg.

“Please Lys...” She said softly.

The girl stared at her hand and Edelgard felt like the action needed more. She reached for her wrist and slid her glove off, showing… her scars. Showing what had been done… what had been survived.

Timidly, the girl reached back for her. Her elongated finger came to rest against Edelagrd’s naked palm and she rose with a monumental creak to step out from behind the trees, leaning to hover over her.

“Never... alone...” The voice said, almost feebly... sounding more like the girl it had once been.

“ _Never_.” Edelgard vowed.

And then the hand in hers began disintegrating. The black flesh floating off and evaporating into char and drifting away in chunks in the air around them.

Until all that was left was the girl it had once been. She was pale. Paler than she ever thought possible. Her legs somehow carried her closer and Edeglard didn’t wait, wrapping her arms to catch the girl. Her arm still bleeding. Her constitution, fragile. Like tissue paper.

She eased her down to the ground and her eyes looked almost empty as they tried to focus on her. Her lips struggling to part to form words.

“I have you.” She assured. “I have you.” And she cradled Lys closer as fresh tears came.

**********************************************

The rubble was coming fast. She saw Jeritza leap after the mage toward the hallway, but her hobbled leg picked now to feel the pain. She was running, but not nearly fast enough. Even if the building didn’t get her the force of it would. She needed to go faster. But her shin was definitely shattered, her knee questionable, and her body… _feeling it._

“Professor!” She heard called from above, but didn’t have time to locate the sound. She just kept going, hearing the bricks and stones collapsing and crashing as the closed in. A rumble that she could feel in the back of her teeth, until it was practically on top of her. Inside of her. On top of her-

And then a gust of wind and she felt herself being yanked in another direction.

She wasn’t crushed.

She was... flying? Her body was moving up and up and a set of hands were pulling her up onto the back of a... Wyvern?

“We’ve got you.” She heard a familiar voice say soothingly, and it was Dorothea pulling her into the saddle that was overcrowded between herself and Petra steering at the front.

They had swept her out of deaths’ path, and now they were flying away from the rubble, outrunning it and ascending, before turning back to drift over the fortress.

She tried to take a deep breath, her hand still clasped over a shaking relic sword with intensity and adrenaline spiking from the number of close calls from the day.

It was chilly this high up, but… almost peaceful. The cool washed over her and she welcomed it. She was suddenly tired... so tired. She’d emotionally and physically been thrown every which way, and letting her mind go numb after the high intensity of the battles, inner and outer, was a relief. She knew it would be only a short reprieve… there was more to do, but looking at the students before her, gave her strength.

Somehow Dorothea had turned in their cramped quarters in the sky, slinging one leg around the side of the wyvern and then the other, Petra reaching back to put an arm at her waist for stability. The other never leaving the reigns. Once she faced her she gave a reassuring look then put both hands to the deep slice at her ribs. The white magic felt great as the nerves that had tingled numb began to breathe again.

As they soared over the landscape below she saw one- _no_. Two blips of white. And all her fatigue faded away immediately. Because she knew who she saw and she felt the fire in her flare. Not of battle or of survival just of… longing. To be by her side.

“EL!” She screamed out, seeing her eyes shoot up to her immediately, even from this height, and the look on her face was like when she’d held her dying in the woods. Like when she’d held her half freezing corpse. When she’d been lead away by Thales into a locked room…

It was the look of absolute loss and fear and tears dotted down her cheeks, and somehow she needed to get there. Byleth couldn’t think of anything else. She needed to catch her tears.

Somehow she was on the ground. It was all a blur until she saw lilac. Lilac looking up at her, extending one hand toward her cheek, voice quivering.

“My teacher…” Something horrible had happened, she could tell, so Byleth did the only thing that made sense and fell to her knees, wrapping both arms around her and Lys’ form, shielding them from the world. Edelgard trembled at her touch, leaning into her and Byleth felt her heartbeat, heard her soft shaky breaths. She saw her vulnerability and reinforced it. Protected it. She’d have held her like this forever if she could.

She saw Lys’ chest move up in down with air. She was alive at least. That was a relief, though there were some garrish wounds on her arm that were troubling.

“You’re here.” The Emperor-would be murmured.

“Im here.”

When she pulled back and looked in those eyes it was if she’d forgotten about pain and been transported. The echoes of the past all resonated in her gaze.

‘ _Even though I told you to leave..._ ’

Her eyes asked.

Byleth merely smiled.

‘ _Even though you told me to leave. I walk this path too._ ’

Only now did Edelgard seem to notice her wounds and she saw her brow furrow as if to worry.

“ _Byleth_ \- you’re...” her eyes panicedly scanned the dried blood on her shirt and in her hair, the fresh maroon pooling on her shoulder. She reached up as if to heal her and Byleth softly folded her fingers around her unstained hand.

“Save your strength. This battle is not yet over.” She spoke as level as she could, catching a second wind after the brief surge of energy that had been gifted her. And the feel of her hand in her own... the look of soft lilac.

_Is this what it meant to love someone..._

She suddenly wondered, caught in that plane beyond focus and tranquility. Between action and idle.. 

The way she looked at her made her feel like she could take on the world or break at the slightest touch... It was everything. The amount she would sacrifice to have those eyes look at her that way...

Was truly terrifying.

“ _You always love her_ ” She heard the phantom of sothis whisper. Her clarity reached to the end of her finger tips and she longed to embrace her again. But first thing was first.

“Tell me of Lysithea? How is she?”

“Not well. She has undergone... complications.”

She chose the word carefully in present company but Byleth could imagine the implications. _Bad_.

She nodded and tried to ease her to a lying position. The girl was indeed thoroughly wrecked. Dorothea pressed closer and Byleth was relieved to have a capable healer, though she knew it was of a more sinister nature than she had encountered.

Petra crouched across from them, looking the most disturbed.

“The spirits are... saddened by what has happened to her. Ive never felt this.” She stared very perturbed. “I wish to help her.”

“We will.” Dorothea confirmed, her hands already glowing gold and her expression with the maturity and tact of a hardened bishop. “We need to get her somewhere safe. Out in the open she is too vulnerable.”

“The medical wing is that way. It’s a bit of a walk, but it’s away from the battle site.” Edelgard pointed out.

“We’ll have to risk it... she needs medical attention and she needs it bad.” Dorothea said.

“You are not going alone.” Petra added, eyes burning.

“They will need you here. The professor cant walk-“ Byleth noticed Edelgard’s eyebrows spike a second time. “and I doubt she’ll be accompanying us. Am I right?” The former songstress turned to the side with a knowing smile slipping between her crystalline exterior.

“I will fight.” Byleth said nodding. She’d have to be dragged off the battlefield before she’d leave it. And right now she could limp. So she could fight.

“I see... then I will be leaving Sigrid with you.” Petra nodded to Byleth. “He is the liking you already.” She said with her soul-lifting smile. “And then I will be taking these two to safety.”

Byleth nodded to agree even as Dorothea protested.

“Petra, you don’t-“

“You will be needing protection.” She wrapped a hand around one of Dorothea’s. “And we will be helping her together.”

Dorothea nodded, and Byleth thought she saw the faintest blush on her cheeks, already red from wind streaks and effort.

Petra scooped the small mage off the ground and cradled her in her arms with all the care you’d expect.

“Don’t let her go...” Edelgard said, her eyes washing over gray for a moment as she contemplated some terrible things.

“We will not loose her.” Petra promised.

Dorothea hopped up and pet the Wyvern’s muzzle who hummed in his deep growl at her touch.

“You don’t loose her either.” She said softly, before her and Petra ran off together, carrying the young mage to her only hope, though Byleth knew it was something beyond faith magic that would be needed to save her.

When she turned to Edelgard she saw her staring at the ground as if calculating and reached for her once more, extending her hand in front of her vision as an offer. She rested her own palm in hers and they both rose and for a moment Byleth was staring into those eyes again. Those ones that pulled her like stars pulled planets, or like how waves pulled ships.

“She will return to us.” Byleth said softer than an autumn’s wind.

There was no weapon on her person other than what looked like a small dagger. _This girl and her daggers_. Byleth thought with a small smile. She outstretched her hand to offer the Sword of Seiros and Edelgard looked confused. She gestured to the dagger in turn and they swapped weapons.

“Your people need you. You can do this.” She said with all the truth behind it she felt, and arming the Empress with something more powerful. “I will be with you. _”_

Edelgard’s eyes glistened with the bout of confidence that Byleth was placing on her, and the former mercenary went a step further and reached forward, cupping both hands on her cheeks. She used the pads of her thumbs to wipe away her tears, gently down the streaks of dirt and dust sticking to her face. They looked like crystals, and were infinitely more valuable. She embraced her once more.

“I told them.” She said muffled into her shoulder. “I told them I was the Flame Emperor.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No. It is the only way forward.” She looked up without pulling away an inch. “You were right. Thank you my teacher for showing me the way... my light...” She said softly.

_Her light._

The words made something in her glow and shimmer. Something felt seen. She followed the call of her wild heart, the heart she now knew she possessed even though it had been locked away. Edelgard had still broke through.

When their lips met she tasted like a wish on a shooting star. Her certainty was sharp as cheddar. Her devotion vast as an ocean. Her skin as soft as a whisper in the night. And Byleth felt alive at the reciprocation. Felt the energy between them. The soft, pleading hum in the air they shared.

The kiss came to an end, but the feeling didn’t. It was absolute. It was a compass in her body that told her true north lay before her.

“Why... why did you stay?” Edelgard asked, stars still in her eyes.

Byleth knew her answer. She may still know nothing else, but she had been the pulse in the dark that connected her among all the what-ifs. All the timelines that intertwined and overlapped were drenched in red and violet. Seeping with it.

“It could only be you.” She said like a vow. “I care for all of my students... but I only love you.”

**********************************************

_She loved her… she said she loved her._

Those words replayed as Byleth had hobbled away with an uncomfortable gait and no complaints back to the borrowed Wyvern to track down Hubert and any other allies that may be in need.

Edelgard had many thoughts on her mind... but the most pressing... was that Byleth had said she loved her.

And only slightly less was the survival of her people.

And only slightly under that... she now held the Sword of Seiros in her grasp. A weapon she had never intended to be on the wielding side of. The curved blade that warped back and forth reminded her of the twisted path it had cut through history. She could feel it resonate with her inner crest.

It would do for now. She put herself together, or so she told herself. Her mind kept retracing to Lysithea. Fearfully so. The way she’d cried out. The way her body had torn itself apart. The power of it all…

That very potential must lay in her.

A cold shiver ran down her shoulders and she grit her teeth.

She would _never_ let them hold her like that.

If they had put that power in her… she refused to ever dip so low as to use it. She wouldn’t lose herself to a shadowed husk that _they_ had created. She silently vowed to herself as her speed picked up and her legs were under her again.

First thing first, she had to find Ladislava. She needed to explain, and to regroup with her troops.

As she rounded a corner she saw something startling, a burst of purple and grey smoke, not unlike a warp spell, but not entirely one either. It billowed in a circle and grew lighter… much lighter. It floated and faded to white and then glowed, bright until Edelgard had to shield her eyes from it. When she blinked back to the source, sword already slipped into defensive stance…. she saw a group of familiar, yet surprising figures. All blinking, equally stunned to see her.

A small group of her peers… students of Garreg Mach… all a little worse for wear. Staring somewhere between shock, fear, and forlorn. Hair dirty, clothes and armor stained and bloodied. They had endured something… At the front of the group a slightly less familiar figure with red hair staring toward her sadly. _One of the merchants maybe?_

The figure walked alertly toward her and clasped a hand on her shoulder, crouching slightly with a mournful expression to speak one sentence.

“The Monastery is lost.”

**********************************************

_How… fitting._

Thought the man who had shed death like a sweater to find his remaining psyche laying in a pile of stones, semi-crushed and bleeding heavily. He smiled up at the fading navy of the night just starting to break over the horizon with patches of light lavender and cream yellow.

His body... tired.

His mind... hurt.

And he stared because there was nothing else to do.

He had blacked out when the air had first changed. He felt the thrill of whatever battle had transpired around him, but he knew not where and how he ended up here, just like all the other times. Nor could he remember how the battle had ended.

It felt... incomplete.

As if the end had not been... satisfying.

The itch remained.

Jeritza sighed.

It was hard to pull back what had happened in between his lapses, he rarely tried anymore. He’d leave those sins and their outcomes to death and not bother himself with its musings. But, as he was pinned under what was once a wall and his body had spread to numb at every inch below his neck he thought maybe... maybe he’d try to dig back for what would be the last time.

He stared past the horizon, eyes half open and blurring willingly, slowly tuning out the details of the world to blotches of color.

The images came, just a little. In equal resolution as the patchy skies before him. A grey foe. A sword. A green head interrupted. Then more... then... nothing.

He felt a sharpness in his brain that usually followed these... faded memories.

Then released them once more.

He opened his eyes again and blinked until the different colors of the sky were coming into focus again.

 _Nice_.

He could appreciate the blends from day to night. The inkling of stars fading away in the coming shine of the sun.

It was truly... beautiful.

He thought it not a bad place to die.

So he’d wait. No tremor. No pain. No feeling. Just, enjoying the colors until they were no longer there.

Until night would win out once more.

Until the candle in the hall... blew out.

**********************************************

Byleth soared above the landscape below, pain shooting through her leg that she plainly ignored. Her mind was preoccupied instead with staying on the back of the beast below her. Flying wyverns had never been her strong point, but Petra had mastered her craft seamlessly. Perhaps Sigurd was cutting her some slack on his masters account, but holding herself tight with her splintered calf was becoming more and more difficult.

She flew by a few times, getting used to the feel and scanning the area. On each pass she saw troops clearing rubble, providing support, and descended low enough to give instruction once or twice when she saw people in need in abandoned locations.

Still no Hubert. She knew he was the key to their escape. She hoped he wasn’t sitting under a mountain of rubble a corpse after their last encounter.

Deeper yet… she was on the lookout. She didn’t trust Myson to be done. He was the kind of sinister that would escape when it was rocky and come back to try and pick off the pieces after the attack.

The sky was starting to change, morning was coming. She’d been up longer than she realized. She went higher yet, able to see the outskirts and the land around the stronghold.

Tranquil. Hushed. Indifferent to the bloodshed that had taken place inside.

She saw a figure with white hair along the outer wall perimeter, Edelgard, leaning over the side as if seeking. It filled her heart even to catch a glimpse-

And then it happened.

So quick... as if in a blur.

The spot she stood exploded in a field of purple and black catastrophy, a shot of unmistakable dark energy collapsed the area in. She saw blood fly out in skewers, and she felt it.

A separation... deep and actualized and terrible. A connection… destroyed. Like everything in her had fallen away from the nerves that connected it. There was only emptiness.

She heard screaming. She was screaming.

And the sound was hollow and brittle and she reached, through times spine, wondering if she could even do that, and gripped something. She pulled without thought, only panic.

Coldness swept over and through her, and filled her frayed veins. As she pulled she saw fragments, images, memories, just like before. It would overwhelm her if everything hadn’t already. Her mind was numb to the pains they showed. The arrow. Her father. The monster. The mob.

None of it mattered.

She turned her attention toward the one thing that did and as she returned to her self, almost feeling like it would throw her from the saddle she blinked through a cold sweat and found herself in the sky once more. She looked down and saw that head of white appearing on the horizon and she acted. Not waiting, she clenched her arms and legs around Sigurd and bade him go.

_Fast._

They changed their angle drastically and dive bombed toward the ground. But not toward Edelgard. Past her, to where the afterimage of her attacker lay.

She saw it happening. The portal forming.

 _Myson_.

She clenched her teeth as the wind whipped at her. Liquid dripped off her eyes and was ripped away as the intensity of her descent. Sigurd whined in protest but didn’t slow and she held him even tighter.

“ _Keep the pace._ ” She yelled, though she knew the Wyvern understood.

She wouldn’t reach him in time. His arm rose, energy sizzling on it.

She needed something to stop him, and reached for her belt. There was the dagger she’d taken from El. It would do. She could see him clearly, like the world was slowing down to make her relive it. _Not again._

The angle was shit, the distance great, and she had one shot. But a dagger had changed the course of a battle before. She couldn’t think of what would happen if she missed. She needed to hit.

Her arm wound back, her breathing stopped, and she threw the dagger.

She watched it whip through the air... spin like a bat out of hell… catch the drag of their descent…

_If this missed... it was all for nothing…_

It didn’t.

It made contact., digging deep at an awkward angle and speed and wrangling flesh from the bicep up to the shoulder.

Myson cried out in surprise and pain, and turned to find the source... _her_.

His arm, though bleeding, turned up to face her, the energy still sizzling with the blood dripping and she realized it was too late. She’d given herself up when she made this angle. Made this decision. She couldn’t regret is. She had nothing to pull... nothing to change course. It was inevitable as the spell released and came closer. Consuming her.

_It was the only way... for her she could sacrifice... everything..._

And then the pain hit her.

**********************************************

“We are the _last_ people that should be doing this.” Shamir sighed as they attempted again to heave a collapsed chunk of rubble off of a man they could barely see.

The knight- _er._ The archer- _er_ The strong, scary woman that had guided Bernie from place to place was now trying to loop her only arm outside a sling under a pile of rubble and lift a former building. Bernie believed she probably could.

“ _C’monnnn_ you bastard, LIFT!” Shamir yelled at herself, though for a panic stricken second the Von Varley girl was sure it was at her.

“I-I’m sorry…” Bernie found herself apologizing. She should apologize. She was so weak-

“It’s not you. It’s…” Her eyes glanced down at her sling before flickering away. “You’re doing more than enough.”

It was a nice thing to hear… surprising even, though Bernie was sure she didn’t mean it. She sat for a moment too as they tried to catch their breath from the evening.

They’d been across the facility, literally, multiple times the two of them. Shooting down more of those upsetting grey things that looked like the professor. Meeting up with and arming the general that wore the winged shoulder cuffs. Admittedly Bernie found those very cute and cool.

In that time Bernie had come to the conclusion that Shamir was really incredible. She had done so much, helped so many people, all with only one good hand. Bernie had become her bow. _On you left-_ She’d say when an enemy appeared. _Two of them, eye level 3 paces._ She was getting quicker and forgetting that part of her that questioned as weariness set in, merely shooting as soon as ordered.

“We can’t leave him.” Shamir said, staring at the pile. “There’s got to be another way.”

“If-f only we could d-dig him out…” Bernie mumbled out loud before she sighed into their feebleness. But then she heard Shamir stand up with a slap on her shoulder and looked up to see her standing with new fire in her eyes.

“Kid that’s exactly what we’re gonna do, come here.” She scrambled over to the side of the rubble and Shamir reached around her back to unhook the massive axe they’d been carrying for Edeglard.

“Here.” She held it up for Bernie to wrap her hands around, but didn’t release, guiding their shared strength to wedge the sharp and curved edge down in the distance between the wall and ground and, _press._

They both grunted at the effort, but- _it was working_. The bottom of the blade was sinking and bracing between rocks beneath them as they wedged the wall up. They were starting to see the mans legs.

“Hey! Anyone in here?” Bernie heard a familiar voice and the crushing panic in her chest lightened a little.

“Yeah up here Bergliez.” Shamir called down to the blue-haired boy who had come in from the corner and he hurried over.

“It’s you guys! Oh man, here lemme help Bern!” He came to her side, his sleeves already rolled up and torn from whatever he’d been doing while running about. But still smiling. Maybe she could believe like that… if he was here with her. He pressed down with a grunt and a yell and it was working. They were levying the angle, pressing up like a lever, and there was space.

“Aiight kid, dig.” Shamir grunted, putting all of her weight into the handle to pull it down and give as much of a gap as she could.

Bernie ducked without pause, frantically pulling smaller rocks out rom under him until his body had sagged down, realizing where the spots he was pinned the worst and sliding him free bit by bit. She realized who it was when his face became visible and squealed a little sound.

“Damnit Jeritza.” Shamir said strained. “ _Keep going_ , he’s almost free.”

A few more bricks, then she pulled his legs and they gave. He slid free, lower and lower and then he was out.

“Ahh man…” Caspar said with a massive sigh as they released the axe. He wiped his sleeve on his forehead and for one his smile faded as he took a closer look at the man. “He’s going to be hard to move.”

“Not for… me.” A voice spoke from the other corner and Bernadetta turned quickly to see Hubert Von Vestra walking out of a faded purple and black warp spell. It was… _nice_ seeing Hubert after all this time. It’d been months. And though he was rather… _scary_ , Bernie would admit… he had been missed…

But something looked off about him… He was stumbling slightly, holding himself up with a lean, not his usual sharp focused self. Bernie found that odd.

“Hubert! Am I glad to see you.” Caspar beamed. “Everyone’s been looking for you. The evacuation group is waiting at the outlook tower and we need to move, _fast_.”

“Well... ofcourseeee, they are.” Hubert mumbled one word longer as if focusing. “That’s the only sensible place to congregate.” He walked over to Jeritza and seemed to deflate in his impeded state. “Damn fool… did good.”

Caspar slid an arm gently under the mans shoulder and lifted him with a grunt up to a seated position.

“Let’s be going. You-“ The dark mage looked toward Bernie and Shamir as if asking a question, but switched for another one. “What’re you doing with _that?_ ” He was glaring very confusedly at the axe Shamir still had a hand on.

“Trying to bring it to the princess, but haven’t seen her.” Shamir said blankly. Bernie was scared of stumble-Hubert as much as normal-Hubert. She couldn’t believe Shamir didn’t flinch at his accusation.

“It is not meant for… whatever it is you’re doing with it.” He said crossly.

“Worked thought.” Shamir said, freeing it with a grunt.

“Give it here. _I_ will hold onto it.” He waved his hand idly as if to say _hurry on now._

Shamir handed it over with no argument.

“We’re staying in the field.” She added, looking over to Bernie with an open expression, as if to say ‘ _Right_?’

She was giving her a chance to leave… but… not because she wanted her to… She thought she was getting to understand people like her better. People like the professor… People that weren’t all that scary.

She nodded as seriously as she could.

“Very well…. don’t…. die.” Hubert said holding his head in his hand briefly as if he had a bad bad headache, before summoning another portal for them all to disappear through.

They found themselves on a higher point, climbed up to a platform around the perimeter of the wall. Shamir gauged the inside of the facility.

“Alright, west wing looks cleared. We should move north.”

And then Bernie got that creeping feeling. The hairs on the back of her arm stood up as if anticipating some great foulity at play. Something bad about to happen. She turned in the direction and saw a Wyvern. Petra’s wyvern.... going crashing toward the ground. And then she saw the flash of black and purple that met it in its downward ascent. And she gasped as it crashed and curled in on itself.

She pulled back an arrow and ran to the edge of the wall, following the line of purple to one cloaked figure. She felt the adrenaline in her blood. Felt the pulse in her ears as everything else fell away. This was how it felt when there was a shot to be made. She’d become hyper aware of everything else. _Keep it together Bernie._

The thread felt slightly frayed in her finger, the angle and snap good, the arrow was true, and the cloaked figure was moving toward the downed Wyvern. And she couldn’t miss. She needed to hit him now. She could practically see the imprints in the soft wet grass from here. Feel him drawing closer to an ally. A friend.

She took a deep breath... and released.

These always felt like details not a whole picture when she shot. She remembered the way her fingers had curled at the release.

The color of the sky in the morning coming through.

A dragonfly that had been moving from bush to bush at the perimeter of the wall.

A leaf brushing past her foot as a breeze fluttered by.

And when she looked up at the cloaked figure he was down on the ground. She’d hit him.

“Whoa…” She heard the archer breathe out from her side, as the silence faded and the world came back with a sharp pat on the shoulder.

She looked up to see the eyes of Shamir, someone quickly becoming... _kind_? To her if she dared believe the word. But there was genuine appraisal in her eyes. Genuine care as if... she saw her worth. The idea made her nervous but... _not scared_?

“Nice shot kid. Gotta move.”

“P-professor…”

She recognized the form as she neared in past the fallen and dead mage, but she couldn’t believe it… _wouldn’t believe it._

_panic terror dread_

Took over as she saw the way she was mashed and mangled beside the Wyvern... who didn’t look much better…

_her mind was screaming_

She was…. in bad _bad_ shape…

_there was so much red... so much_

It was horrifying. She was lightheaded and her body shook. Everything fuzzed out into blobs and nondescript shapes... as if seeing the details was what brought them to life.

_no... not again..._

She thought she might faint, or cry, or be sick. A hand on her shoulder eased past her to kneel before the shape that was a person.

“Eisner… can you hear me?” Shamir asked concerned and hopeful.

The professor’s eyes blinked open and she groaned something deep and pained. Guttural and so unlike any sound she’d ever heard.

“We need to get her to medical… Eisner… we’re gonna try to move you.”

“I… can’t.” She breathed weakly, eyes fluttering and struggling to open.

“Can’t?” Shamir asked, concern cresting.

“Can’t… move.” She breathed with great difficulty. “I can’t..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND SCENE.
> 
> Y’all... this chapter may honestly be one of my favorites. If I could do one thing differently I’d probably write Bernie’s chunk a little more in depth, get more into the head of her character, but I added her late and loved what it was and left it. Maybe one day I’ll redo that, but editing this chap like all day today I have to tell you... I’m actually pretty... excited about it XD
> 
> That probs sounds dumb, but between Byleth’s inner battle being won, Berith, Hegmon Lysithea and the toll that takes on Edeglard, Anna arriving, Shamir and Ladi, like... I had an absolute joy of a time putting this together and I hope you loved reading it and are psyched for next chapter... the finale of this arc...
> 
> WHO KNOWS WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT
> 
> Who’s POV did you find the most interesting between Jeritza, Hubert, Bernie, Shammy? (dont call her that her face ;)
> 
> What was more interesting? battle of the Hegemon or the Look A Like?
> 
> Any crazy predictions as we head into the last chap??
> 
> See y’all soon :D Chap 12 is already taking off in my brain and I can not wait to finish this arc!
> 
> Til next time~


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